Welcome to the prompt 2 results! Woo-hoo!

Just so we're transparent about the judging process, Saramitra and Ravendipity both selected winners together but judged separately. Saramitra took half and Ravendipity took half, and they combined their favorite picks to choose the top entries.

Everyone did a great job! And, remember, there are five weeks, so even if you didn't get into the top this time around doesn't mean you won't in the future! We have all but one new winners this week, so that goes to show that the winner pool is always diverse! Also, for this week, there are two judge picks as we could not decide between the two entries, so there are five winners this time around!

Week 3 judging has begun and will be released in the near future. Prompt 3 introductions will be released ASAP this week, preferably by tomorrow (Friday in EST), and I (Raven) will be doing comments tomorrow and Saturday.

Tags have been straight up not showing up for some reason, so I will be monitoring this closely to make sure the tags are working, though please keep in mind if they don't work, it's likely a Wattpad glitch and not much I can do. I will do my best to make sure all the tags work, but if they don't, I will leave a tag in the comments.

Here are the results for the second prompt!

3rd Place

Thin Air by KainGodchilds

Judged by: Ravendipity

Review:

Thin Air is a short story that follows our protagonist, Jae, on a quest to give his pets a proper shelter. It's a simple narrative that utilizes its simplicity to make the story feel more down-to-earth and wholesome.

Something I really enjoyed about this work is the introduction. I don't know why, but whenever I judge for this contest, I forget the prompt. I know, I know, I, Raven, one of the hosts of this contest, keep forgetting it's a prompt contest. Yep, I am aware how silly that sounds, but it actually works in your favor here because I read it from the perspective of someone not realizing it was for a prompt, and I thought the introduction did a great job introducing the core narrative without making it feel forced. We got to follow along Jae and find out why he was cold, and when I remembered the prompt, I was like "Ohhh, that's a clever way to show the prompt!" The whole intro is probably my favorite part since it does a good job bringing the story idea to life and keeping the reader guessing as to why there's such a cold in the air.

Another thing I enjoyed was the mundaneness of the story. It's a simple story about a dude trying to find a way to heat up him and his pets. Nothing grand; it's a small-scale short that just tells the tale of human perseverance, with subthemes about the mistreatment of animals. I think that works in the story's favor since it gives us a chance to really get to know Jae and what he values. It's a comforting story, more than anything. It feels like we went on a journey with Jae, meeting Gertrude and the shopkeeper along the way. It kind of reminds me of that game Road 96, which is a relaxing game where you encounter a bunch of new places, experiences, and people. It's to-the-point but still has a lot to say, like this narrative.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into my critique is that I loved the shopkeeper. She was a super interesting character, the "I'm ready for the apocalypse" type character, though the difference being she's there during winter, offering heaters that actually work despite the electrical outages Jae had to suffer through. The shopkeeper is entertaining and has a fun dynamic with Jae, and I'm glad that she decided to help him out and show kindness, even through that rough exterior. I love those types of characters, so I thought that was great to read and very wholesome!

The only critique I have is the sentence structure and grammar is sometimes a little awkward. For example, "Worried filled Jae's heart." I believe you meant worry there.

Another example is: "He threw it over Mary, his chicken and closest by the blanket door and swaddled her and her three little chicks in it." I think this sentence could benefit from some tweaks as I'm not entirely sure what this sentence is supposed to mean, mostly because of the "closest by the blanket door" part. Maybe you meant something like: "He threw it over Mary, his chicken, the one closest to the blanket door, and swaddled her and her three little chicks in it." So that's what I mean when I say there were some awkward moments throughout that could be tweaked for ease of readability.

Overall, Thin Air is a cute, simplistic story that feels home-like and warm, showing that there is kindness out there in the form of Jae. Jae perseveres in the face of all adversity, and I think that makes this an adorable story to cuddle up and read late at night on a cold winter day.

Comments from Saramitra:

This story follows Jae's struggles as he discovers snow for the first time and the fact that, despite him suffering many setbacks, he's willing to help the animals that need their help more than him. Its a selfless battle, one that really makes you have faith in humanity again. This one really became one of my personal favorites quickly because it was so well executed!

2nd Place

Blight by AnneLWilkin

Judged by: Saramitra_

Review:

This is a sci-fi dystopian tale that follows Lia and Tom (her ex), as they battle the consequences of the frost known as "blight" that has plagued them since the return of winter after a thousand years. Everyone else has passed away and whether or not the world could survive was their responsibility, and the conditions were dire.

There are so many things to appreciate about this story! Right off the bat, it gives me the "Story of Your Life" vibes by Ted Chiang. The description of the blight, the suits and the protocols taken as a measure to ensure protection is set in a way that's realistic and relatable. The lack of human contact and how it affects them is also explored in a nuanced way, which makes the characters all the more realistic. Are they able to survive the storms and find out what blight is and save the world? I would not spoil that for potential readers because that's a kicker that really makes this story cool. I'd say I initially didn't understand why it would be dystopian if the two veered off in a direction of their personal benefit but a second read definitely made it clear, or maybe that's just me and I don't know that many layers to the dystopian genre.

As for constructive feedback, the story is developed well, the details are intricate and the overall character chemistry and development are done in a good way, though, for the ending, it feels quite too informal and rushed, which is in contrast to the overall layered and structured story. Perhaps this is what could cause confusion but an abrupt or an uneven ending needs its own way of handling. But other than that, there's not much for feedback.

Overall, this is a thought-provoking short story and a memorable one at that. The weight of the world on your shoulders can be heavy but sometimes, you can't help but give in to your own wishes and let the world burn down, either. A really well written story!

Comments from Raven: I love sci-fi dystopians, so this was right up my alley, and I was not disappointed. I read it over a week ago and left comments on it, but upon revisiting it to select it for the top 5, I enjoyed it even more. It's a gritty tale that really shows the exhaustion of the main characters in an interesting way, and the whole concept is just plain cool, guys. I love the concept of the Blight, and this has officially convinced me (I was already convinced, but y'know, gotta be a dramatic redhead about it) to go check out your other works, with Run at the top of my list. I'm stoked to read more of your stories, and you did an awesome job with this entry!

1st Place

Eternal War by Sohinigoswami

Judged by: Ravendipity 

Review:

Eternal War is one of those poems where you need to sit on it and think for a while, wondering what the eternal war really is here, and if it's closer to home than you actually realize. Though, this poem is also layered on an external level since it was written both for this contest and another contest, so it has two set of rules applied here, where Sohini had to follow our prompt and also include at least five of the specified words from the other contest, so it's safe to say there was a lot to tackle here, but Sohini handled it with grace.

To begin, I want to start with the ending. Kinda out of order, right? But I can't resist talking about it: the final stanza is very solid. It ties together the core ideas in a way that's thought-provoking and has great visual satisfaction with the word choice being solid (will talk about that in the next paragraph). The last stanza is the most powerful of them all, providing visceral sounds with the blaring alarm while summarizing the main point about war in a way that feels natural and like it was always there in the background, just waiting to be seen. I love the repetition of the war and dead and gone, and I thought that last stanza excellently displayed powerful emotions that will stick with the reader for a while.

Another thing I really enjoyed was the word choice used throughout, like "silver secret" was a cool use of alliteration that sucked me in, especially since you don't leave it at just that and instead incorporate other aspects as well, such as silver soul. That gives more layers to the initial alliteration and makes it feel more impactful in the poem, making us want to go back and see if we missed any other "silver" messages woven throughout. The word choice feels extremely purposeful, and every word uplifts the emotions.

The last thing I'll mention is that I liked how you combined this prompt with another contest's rules. That made the poem feel especially unique, and it paid off since I thought the words you chose from their specific list were excellent and worked well in the poem. It felt like you integrated them into the poem as if they were there to begin with rather than forced them in for sake of the contest, so you did a good job making everything feel natural and fluid.

As for critiques, I don't actually have any. I thought you did an excellent job bringing the prompt to life, and that when combined with the added challenge of having a second contest's rules to follow made it even more impressive. I've said it once, I've probably said it twice, and I'll say it again: your dedication to pushing the limits of your craft and experimenting is extremely admirable, and it pays off since your experiments diversify your writing and cement you as someone not scared to go the distance to create an interesting narrative.

Sara and I unanimously agreed that this is the #1 pick, and for good reason. It's a solid narrative with powerful word choice and plenty to enjoy about it. Anyone who is reading this review, I very strongly encourage you to go and check out this wonderful piece!

Comments from Saramitra:

I immediately loved this poetry! The way you weave together war, winter, frost and blood like it's a post-apocalyptic scene really, really makes it gripping. The fact that its short, yet not vague is an accomplishment in and of itself. Really impressive, keep going!

Judge Pick

Millennium Frost by Mochi711

Judged by: Ravendipity

Review:

Millennium Frost is a short story that acts as a continuation to Mochi's previous entry in the weekly contest, following Elsa and Sam when news of a very, very long winter hits the fan, and now they must come up with solutions to prevent humanity from suffering.

To begin with a really small thing that doesn't impact placement, I like the title. I just wanted to say that since, y'know, it's a review, so I want to point out even the things that don't impact standing, lol. So, yeah. The title is cool!

Moving into the story itself, the first thing I want to mention is that you have a great use of location, showing the world and not just limiting it to the West like a lot of stories I read do (which isn't inherently a problem, by the way, it's just nice to see diverse locations from all over the world). It also makes sense for the story to take place in Africa. It's hot and interacts with the equator, so it makes perfect sense. So I just enjoyed the use of location here and how it mattered to the plot, and also how its sun was described!

Another thing is I enjoyed the overall premise and how it was very scientific and also connected with the previous entry you gave. I was surprised to see anyone make this prompt almost like a continuation of the first, but that just gives it an added layer of awesomeness and creativity. Being able to connect completely different prompts takes quite an observant eye, so I appreciate that you were able to bring this prompt to life while also keeping the old one alive, too. The science side of things was cool as well, and it was nice to see genuine solutions that made sense brought forward, so good job with that!

The last thing I wanted to mention before moving into critiques is I appreciate that the elves are really pure-hearted and have so much kindness within them. That may seem like a small thing to praise, but I think it works super well and does a good job making the readers feel warm and all wholesome. It also makes it easy to cheer for the main characters and want to see them succeed. I'm all for messed up characters and stories (cough I wrote Starfield and Like Crazy cough), but sometimes it's nice to have a nice, wholesome cast of characters, and I found that with this entry!

When it comes to critiques, I have two. One is be careful with dialogue, as there were times the dialogue was a bit stiff and had an overuse of expository dialogue. There's already a lot of exposition in general, so having expository dialogue be frequent could lead to the story dragging or losing some of its engagement. For example, one structure of dialogue that's almost always expository is the "since" dialogue. By that I mean dialogue structured like: "Since *insert thing here*, we have to do *insert thing here*." I.e., "Since we're here in Morocco, we can use the daylight tomorrow morning to boost our magic when we create the solar shields." Do you see how that line is purely expository? It establishes things both characters should already know, so the only purpose of it being there is for the audience's benefit. Is there another way to show this information more naturally, or simply state it in general description rather than dialogue? So those are just a few things to consider, and I recommend avoiding the "Since" dialogue structure whenever realistically possible. Exposition is of course necessary, though if there are ways to downsize and/or show in more interesting ways, it could be beneficial to reader engagement.

The second critique is to be careful with overly long paragraphs. Long paragraphs are fine (I myself use them), but I mean paragraphs that are long unnaturally because they have more than one main idea in them. For example, the paragraph near the end starting with "Sam teleported the elven food..." has two main ideas in it: one is eating, the next is sleeping. Consider splitting the paragraph with the "Changing" sentence, as that's where the main idea splits off from eating to going to bed in their sleepwear. Though this didn't happen too often, so it's not a big deal.

Overall, Millennium Frost starts off strong with a unique title and premise, and then it continues with a simplistic tale of trying to set things right, which I think works in the story's favor! All in all, good job!

Comments from Saramitra:

I am so happy I got to read an extension to Sam and Elsa's story. They're still cute together, even when they're on a world mission to save Earth, I said it and I'll say it again. The story itself is very rich and intricate with many cultural nuances and depth, which isn't usually seen in many stories. Regardless, I love it all the same—keep writing their story or wrap it here, their story is memorable.

Judge Pick

The First Winter by EnigmaEpic

Judged by: Ravendipity

Review:

The First Winter is a short poem that deals with the beauty of winter from the perspective of a forest nymph, who just wants to make sure that the winter wonderland won't diminish the forest's unique light.

I'll start small and then get into the bigger things, so to start, and this is really small, hence why I'm starting with it: I like the font chosen. Since you used Google Docs, you have more choices for the font, and I love the little "By EnigmaEpic" at the end in that font. That's super small and won't impact placement in any way, but I still wanted to point it out since I thought it fit the narrative and was cute.

But to get into the story itself, I like the twist on the prompt where you do it through a forest and a nymph's eyes, adding a layer of fantasy and magic to it. Seeing as so many view winter as a magical time of year, it makes sense to have a more magical spin on the prompt, making for a unique read that works well in the poetry format. It was a clever usage of the more prose-y poetry structure, yet at the same time, it didn't feel over-the-top and instead had a nice fluidity to it in terms of its word choice.

Another thing is I like how much weight/importance the frost carries. Seeing as this is the first winter for these nymphs, the snow and frost are of course going to be the key points of interest as those are the most obvious things to see. So I'm glad you chose to focus on that and give the frost imagery that the nymph will never forget, and I don't think the readers will forget it, either!

The last thing I'll mention before moving into critiques is... the last line. Makes sense to end this section with the last line, right? I love the last line. It's "I pray that this beautiful winter will not make my forest dimmer." It's a powerful last line that brings the forest to life in more than one way, and it does a solid job wrapping up the short poem. It also just rolls off the tongue well. Is that weird to say? Well, it's true: it's a fun line to say and feels like it's easy to say, so overall, good job with that.

Critique-wise, I don't have too much. Only minor things, nothing major since I think the storyline is overall good. A small thing is at the end, you use it's throne instead of its throne. For the context of the sentence, you're using the its possessively (summer's throne), so I would recommend making sure the it's is the possessive its.

Secondly, there are these two lines:

First time in a millennium we see such a scene,

I, a forest nymph, barely a century old, have never seen such beauty,

I have conflicting feelings about them. On one hand, I enjoy the repetition of the scene being watched throughout the poem, though reading "we/I've never seen this" twice back-to-back made me pause to reread to see if I got that right, as the repetition didn't feel as purposeful there as it did in other areas. It felt more like you needed to establish that the I is a forest nymph and chose there to do it. Which is fine, by the way, it was more that it was right under the "first time in a millennium we see such a scene." Could the I being a younger forest nymph been established later? It could be worth playing around with, but that's a minor thing in the grand scheme of things since I still enjoy the repetition throughout the poem and think it worked well.

Overall, The First Winter does an excellent job spinning the prompt to create a sense of magic and fantasy, taking the prompt in a unique direction I enjoyed. I also really liked the ending, which is super important, of course. So, all in all, you did a solid job with this piece!

Comments from Saramitra:

The sonnet is short, beautiful and like your name, completely enigmatic! I like how the narrator goes on to tell about the winter in a thousand years and the poetic lines? They flow so well, it had me wanting more! Kudos to you for writing such a beautiful sonnet.

ALL REVIEWS:

Reviews by Ravendipity:

Frozen Fables by QuinceArchFortes

Review:

Frozen Fables is a flash fiction less than 500 words that deals with a horrifying first winter that starts off almost magical, but it quickly descends into chaos when the people realize what the winter really means.

To begin with the small stuff, I really like the title. Frozen Fables is an adorable title that perfectly fits what you're trying to do, and it's perfect for the winter weekly writing contest. I know that's a small thing that doesn't have to do with the narrative itself, but I wanted to point it out since I liked the title a lot.

Moving more into the narrative itself, I think you took the prompt in an overall creative direction, where there's a sense of mystery to what exactly it is that's happening, and we're left trying to figure it out with the hints given, and that is wrapped up in the end that I'll talk about in a minute, but I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that since it's literally the entire narrative lol, so it goes without saying the direction is important.

Another thing is I like how the animals were used here to show the silence and give the story more weight. In disasters, you'll often see birds being used, so I like the lack of animals here to emphasize the silence and give the overall tone you're trying to display more weight. Good job with that!

The last thing I'll mention before going into critiques is the ending. Makes sense to end this section with the ending, right? I thought the ending paragraph was solid and did a good job providing haunting ideas/concepts, and right at the end, too, so we're stuck to think about it since that's where the story cuts off, giving us space to think what the flip? It's a great ending that wraps up the narrative well without being too on-the-nose/direct, leaving room for interpretation. My personal favorite kind of endings are the ones that give the audience the space to think, so great job with that!

When it comes to critiques, the main one I have is to consider reading your text out loud and/or plugging it into a TTS (text-to-speech) generator to hear the text back to you, if you don't already, as there are times the sentences got wordy and could have benefitted from being trimmed.

For example: Buildings, fences, gardens and lawns, they were all glittering like a fairy had come in the night to coat them in a spectacular dust that splayed the light in a manner that appeared wholly unnatural though something very deep within me screamed otherwise.

If you read this out loud in the way it was written, with no commas aside from what's at the beginning, you'll probably notice that it runs on and could benefit from being trimmed and tightened for ease of readability and so we as readers can better understand what you're trying to say here. For example: Buildings, fences, gardens, and lawns all glittered, as if a fairy had coated them in a spectacular dust that appeared natural, though something deep within me screamed otherwise.

I made minor tweaks to make the language more active, eliminating the initial "were" and "had," along with the "night" to keep it consistent (you're describing bright light here, so staying away from using "night" in this sentence could be beneficial). Along with that, I changed the unnatural to natural as I felt using unnatural was perhaps an editing mistake, since otherwise, it is a little off for the narrator to be screaming inside because something feels natural. The original sentence implies the narrator is screaming inside because they believe the winter is natural, and while I can maybe see the angle of that, it feels more natural (pun intended) for it to be about the narrator screaming over something unnatural, if that makes sense. Also, based on the context of what the rest of the story is about, the winter is unnatural, so it seems to make more sense to use "natural" instead of "unnatural" here.

So, to summarize that, I would recommend reading text out loud to hear how it sounds and considering eliminating unneeded words. Another example is "My own breath..." in the beginning. We're not introduced to any other characters by this point, so the "own" isn't needed as we have no other characters to contrast it to. Also, typically when referring to your actions, "own" isn't needed unless it's being used for emphasis, but again, since no other characters were introduced up until this point and breathing wasn't mentioned prior to that moment, the "own" isn't needed. I hope that makes sense.

Overall, Frozen Fables starts off right with a cute title that leads into an interesting narrative, with the prompt here done in a creative way, and it continues its streak with a powerful ending that will leave readers flabbergasted. It could use some tweaks to the presentation of the word choice, but it's all in all a creative story!

Winter's Secret Realm by LAJoyner

Review:

Winter's Secret Realm is a short story and BTS fanfiction with Min Yoongi as the main character, and it's a fantastical journey full of royalty and ice. When Jimin is kidnapped (not by me this time), Yoongi must go rescue him, though there are twists revealed about his beloved that make for a layered narrative with multiple moving parts.

One of the things I enjoy most about this is how you connected it to the other prompt. I thought that was a really clever way to take it and not what I was expecting anyone to do, especially since each prompt is pretty different aside from the overall theme of winter. So I think when it comes to the structure of the prompt and how you directed it, you did a good job. I was certainly engaged the whole time.

The overall idea of the story is solid, too. I like how it has that highly fantastical element to it, and riding the reindeer was a cute scene that I enjoyed, too. You do a good job picking your scenes. Does that make sense? I hope it does. Essentially, I think what you chose to write about felt essential and intriguing while also packing a punch of entertainment I think anyone will enjoy. The idea being to rescue Jimin (me next) is simple like it should be to give Yoongi and his lover time to shine, and I liked the twist with her, too.

The last thing I'll mention before moving into my critiques is the ending. Makes sense to end with the ending, right? I thought the ending was pretty cute, and I'm glad it ended on a positive note. Not only does it end well with Jimin being rescued and everything working out, but there's also an air of love and winter charm that leaves the reader with a good taste in their mouths. It's a satisfactory ending that wraps up the storyline in a concise and clear manner, so good job with the conclusion!

The only critiques I have is it seems this could benefit from some additional editing, as there are frequent errors and moments where the word choice was a bit awkward. I.e., "...gazing adorningly" in chapter 1. Adorningly is a little awkward in that context, so it caught me off guard when I first saw it. Another thing is the general grammar errors, such as: to captured Jimin (chap 2), where captured should be capture; he pause (chap 2), where pause should be pauses. So the sentence structure and word choice could use some tightening, but the creative side of the story is solid.

Overall, Winter's Secret Realm is an adorable, entertaining story that manages to fluidly connect this second week prompt with the first week one, making for a really fun time that I enjoyed reading! All in all, great job with this entry!

Frost: A Winter Wonderland by lilmewomewo93

Review:

Frost: A Winter Wonderland is a short story following Min Yoongi, who is secretly royalty and part of the kingdom called Polaris, though things take a drastic turn when Yoongi is on Earth and finds himself in the middle of chaos started by a mysterious man who wants to conquer everything.

To begin, something I really liked was how you used Yoongi's paleness to your advantage. Seeing as being pale is one of Yoongi's real life characteristics, it's cool to see you use that in a clever way by using his blood/backstory as a reason why he's so pale. I know that's a small thing to point out, but I like it when BTS fanfic writers use real life things the members do/look like to elevate their narrative more. Like, for example, when BTS authors genuinely give Yoongi a reason to be the colder one of the group instead of just making him the stereotypical cold character since he's Yoongi. I love those kinds of stories, so I really liked how you made Yoongi's paleness matter here. Okay, that's a long paragraph just for paleness, but I wanted to mention it anyway.

Moving into the core of the story, I like how you took the prompt and made it a sci-fi fantasy type narrative. That was super unique and an interesting way to take this prompt. Winter was used literally here, and I really like how you implemented it. It's cool to see different genres used to tell the tale of this prompt, so I enjoyed how you took this in a sci-fi/fantasy-esque direction mixed with the contemporary.

Another thing I enjoyed was Yoongi as a whole. Yeah, I'm a simple woman: I see Yoongi, I happy. Yoongi was handled well, and I liked his storyline throughout your narrative. I mean, I also enjoy a protective Min Yoongi, so seeing him so protective over Yuna was definitely a bonus! Good job with Yoongi!

The last thing I'll mention before I move into critiques is I like how you give all the BTS members a clear role without making them feel forced in, like Namjoon being the conqueror, the witches of course, and Yoongi is the protagonist. It may seem like a small thing to point out, but those small things are what give the story more well-roundedness and makes me want to read more. The details matter, so I'm glad you took the time to make the BTS members involved without making it feel forced or over-the-top.

I have two main critiques. One is that there are frequent grammar errors, and the other is the pacing is very fast and could benefit from slowing down. I'll start with the first one and then get into the pacing, since grammar is far easier to break down.

For grammar, I will say your grammar has improved, so that's really good! I've read other works by you before, so I can see the improvement, and I wanted to take a moment to appreciate that.

Since this is a more informal contest with shorter reviews, I'll briefly cover a few of the errors here:

There are occasional extra spaces between " and the first letter of a quote, so like this: " Yoongi, I have found you." Consider: "Yoongi, I have found you."

There are some awkward sentences here and there that could be rephrased, such as "A large bomb happened." Consider: "A large bomb exploded," or if you want to take it up a notch, consider: "A massive explosion tore through the earth." Maybe a little much, but playing around with the word choice could be interesting.

There are some end punctuation errors where you omit end punctuation from dialogue, like this: "It's about time to see you Min Yoongi" Consider: "It's about time I saw you, Min Yoongi."

So those are a couple errors I noticed throughout! I hope that made sense!

Another thing that I don't know if I'd call it grammar or general word choice error, but consider downsizing on the word "just." You use the word "Just" very frequently. Since "just" is often used as an emphasis word, the more you use it, the less impact it has later on. That's just (haha, just) a small thing I thought I would point out, so let's move into the pacing now.

As for the pacing, the story happens very quickly, and this feels like a story that could easily be 5,000+ words if not its own little short story that's multiple chapters and closer to 10k words long. You have a good idea here, and it's one of the strengths of the piece, so it could be interesting to see it fleshed out more.

For example, the large bomb a little less than halfway through the story. The text starts with, "...As usual, I always take walks, chilling in the park, leaving him in thoughts of what his sister had said about his kingdom...". Then, in the next paragraph, it's this: "A large bomb happened, leaving everyone screaming in fear." There could be more of a fluid transition between the opening paragraph and the bomb happening since it's very abrupt. It's okay to have it be sudden like that, but maybe have it so the opening gets cut off and onomatopoeia could occur. I.e., you have most of the opening paragraph until: "...what his sister had said about his kingd-"

Boom!

A large bomb... *insert whatever you want to insert here*

It's a minor change, but it gives the bomb a bit more weight, and the suddenness feels more purposeful, if that makes sense. So, in general, the pacing could be slowed so the story could be more fleshed out and give the actions more weight/emotion.

Overall, Frost: A Winter Wonderland is an adorable story with a fantastical premise that I think readers will really enjoy. It does a great job setting the scene and giving the readers an entertaining ride they won't forget. Great job!

Reviews by Saramitra_:

The First Winter by emilypoole977

Review:

The story begins with Katie (my mind immediately went to @katiegoesmew xD) who witnessed the start of a winter frost, and her mom's in hospital due to terminal health complications. The conversation between the two is brief but it shows deep care and understanding. Cassie, her mom nudges her about James, who Katie is in love with but isn't sure if he is. Her mom nudges her to ask, regardless. She does, and in a few days, Cassie passes away, which is really sad. But it doesn't stop there, we get a glimpse of how her mom always wanted to enjoy life, even in her absence and left small pieces of herself for Katie to remember and cherish. There's also the supportive James and the dog Lucky, and although their presence is not a lot, it's still comforting. It's a reflection of the five stages of grief and when the acceptance finally comes, it leaves the reader content.

As for constructive feedback, I really don't have a lot to say, the story is well structured and there's only minor parts where it can get confusing on who's saying what or what is happening, but, overall, its a well-written story. Of course, given the word count limit, I understand that it might be tricky to express everything clearly, but you tried your best and it shows, so well done!

Overall, this is a story that takes you through the journey of grief, loss and happiness and how they can co-exist and there is a lot more to life than the loss of a loved one. Beautifully written!

The Frost by AprilJester

Review:

I am assuming this story is written either from the perspective of ants or by "tiny people" who are making their living as they can, and are shocked to see the frost one day. It's a tale that reflects misunderstanding and perspective differences in a way that feels just right.

They were living in a tropical paradise, which they gained after generations of toil, when they're hit with frost and their lives are threatened once again.

The giants are another part of the society who live nearby but rarely interact with them. The tiny people's "elders" were confused on what to do but one of them decided to investigate further. A mysterious machine is discovered and they all wonder if it's the start of an attack after many years of peace. At that time, two giants approach them and the situation is quickly resolved.

For constructive feedback, the dialogue of the giants feel a little generic and could be tweaked to sound more natural.

Example, "Your grandmother cannot handle the heat in June." could be changed to, "You know your grandmother cannot handle the heat in June and yet you experimented with the machine!"

A little more foreshadowing about the machine could be done, ex: "the cold air blew from the window like slits".

While the story is engaging, and while I get that you were trying to keep it within word count, the emotional stakes could be heightened for better satisfaction about the conclusion.

Overall, this story is engaging, creative, and definitely unique! Don't let the critiques let you feel down, you wrote very well!

Winter Writing Contest by Sxlly_Gxrl

Review:

This story is a reflective and poetic narrative about an extraordinary event that's the return of snow after a thousand years which intertwines themes of nostalgia, wonder and significance of fleeting moments that are centered around the simplest question of "how are you feeling today?" like, wow. I was hooked!

As the day unfolds, the villagers find themselves immersed in their daily lives when they're now faced with snow, which everyone is watching in awe and disbelief.

The story ends with a poignant reminder that there's always a "first" for everything—and sometimes, the second time can be just as magical.

As for constructive feedback, the narrative feels tough to follow sometimes, particularly in transitions between scenes.

Example: From the child's conversations to the villagers' activities, and then to the snow.

Smoothing these transitions out can help.

Another feedback is pacing. Some sections linger too long on descriptive imagery, and some others aren't explored as clearly.

Overall, this is a heartfelt and imaginative story with a strong emotional core!

Brahma Kamal by Uditasree

Review:

This story is set in 3024 (A thousand years ahead of the most current year? Consider me hooked!) and follows the characters Shishira and her brother as they experience a world transformed by technological advancements and the disappearance of snow. It hasn't snowed in a 1000 years, so its return is clearly celebrated.

The narrative cleverly blurs the line between dream and reality. After an enchanting experience in the snowy valley and discovering the Brahma Kamal—a rare flower was a really good touch on that note, and are captivated by its beauty.

I have a few constructive feedbacks. While the sibling bond is endearing, they could be given more distinct personalities and backstories (though, I do understand there were word limits and such). Shishira's hesitation to teleport could also be explored. Why is it so challenging for her?

The story moves quickly, especially during key movements like the discovery of the frost and the Brahma Kamal. Slowing down these scenes to focus on the characters' reactions and emotions could enhance the impact.

Overall, this is a beautifully written, futuristic and dreamlike story that also brings rich cultural elements (which can be so rare and your work stood out for that reason) and environmental themes. As is, this story creates a sense of awe and wonder but you could make it better. Even without it, it's wonderful, so don't doubt yourself!

Everything and Anything - Snow Demon Property! by Thatgurlaturdoor

Review:

Everything and Anything is a story that explores a darkly humorous and fantastical story. I almost can't help but think of a Belle and the Beast rewrite I was reading the other day and as you can guess, a family sacrifice was involved.

Wynnvera is a young woman from the Aqualily family and she's chosen as a sacrifice to the Snow Demon after snow falls for the first time. This makes me think of the rituals around agriculture and weapons and how "sacrifices" are made to appease the deity.

When she's taken to the palace as a national hero, she encounters a royal who smugly reminds her that she would have avoided this fate if she had chosen otherwise. She retaliates by stabbing his face by the crown. Bold. But before the punishment can escalate, the Snow Demon shows up and the two seem to share familiarity as the story ends in rebellion.

While the Snow Demon and the snowy settings are intriguing, the world's history and magic system could use more depth.

For example, why did snow disappear for 1000 years? What's the connection of the Snow Demon to all of this? You can add subtle hints without outright telling it and add depth to the mythology.

Wynnvera's rebellion is entertaining and inspiring even, but her struggle might be overshadowed. Why is she so keen on not submitting and what makes her this way?

Overall, this story is a delightful blend of dark fantasy, humor and defiance in the face of what could have been a morbid sacrifice. You took what's expected of the storyline and twisted it on its head. Well done!

The Frost of June by WonViolet

Review:

Let's pick it stanza by stanza since my thoughts are all over the place. I like how you immediately set the atmosphere of winter, frost and june, which was from the prompt and it draws the reader in. Good beginning.

"Heart in a claw hang low, the color of orange," beautiful line and it really sets the intensity that you're gradually bringing. However, it could be "Heart in a claw, hangs low, the color of orange". I am confused on what "color of orange" refers to, though. Is it the sun, warmth or something else? It somehow feels... disjointed, though, that might just be me.

The fields which were once golden and fresh are now drowned by winter and the narrator cannot smell the warmth of either someone or the nature itself and its as "lost" as its name due to winter. The stanza is well-written, however, there's inconsistencies in flow that make it slightly harder to follow. But, don't take this as a critic—probably, when you say it out loud, it might sound perfect to you, but... sometimes, that doesn't translate well to others. I've had this issue too, so I really wouldn't know what to do other than to ask a second hand opinion to your friends or anyone who might be able to help you, simply by listening to it and probably suggesting rephrases.

The capitalization of "Ice Age" makes me think it was inspired by the movie. Was that so? I would be very keen on hearing your thoughts around it! Your choice of words are complex and I always love poetry that's well-written and complex, however... I might be seeing some passive, purple prose here. I am not quite sure if that was intentional, and I am definitely finding it slightly tricky to analyze and rewind on what's happening. "Gods shaken out of their slumber, wrathful sea." makes me think of Poseidon. I wonder how it connects to the overall theme of the poem, but it's a really good blend of ideas and themes so far.

The next part feels like a lullaby! It's a siren song for the soul. I absolutely love how you've brought the vivid descriptions to life of rivers becoming silent and strokes on window panes, telling about the snow.

Quick rewind of the last stanzas: There's the winter crown, a question of what phantom is calling seasons to erase and "too glowing to survive a thousand summers" and the infinite nights.

And the other two are well written and the thought process is more coherent there, the frost that creeped outside, the stars hatched conspiring as if they had the shrewdness of the earth, the weak luminescence, frost being a constant presence, even when its june and that makes the narrator confused, though they're trying to figure out if this is going to stay or just pass away.

Overall, this is a well written poetry that serves as a reflection of how the narrator sees the winter as, some sentences are unclear and there's purple prose and passive voice that sometimes make it hard to follow, though... I might be totally off on the critique and the poem makes absolute sense and flows to you, so, that's what should matter! I really like it!

~END~

Thank you for participating, everyone! Yet another tough week with lots of awesome entries. Everyone did great, and I'm excited to post the author's spotlights! You can expect the prompt 3 intros ASAP!

Thank you for reading, and remember Jimin is hot.

Baaaai

~ Raven (as if there was any doubt I wrote that)