Do I hate my birthday? No. 

Am I always excited for my birthday? Not really. 

It's kind of a neutral subject for me. I'm supposed to celebrate the day I entered this planet, and yet I sometimes feel like if I do it a little too much, it'll look like I'm celebrating my parents as well, and that's the last thing I want to do. I think really, I just have that time be the moment that I acknowledge that I'm here and my own two foot will always be touching the ground, until I eventually kick the bucket. 

The nightmares don't ever leave. I replay myself being teleported into a scenario from the past, with me constantly getting the same result no matter what I try to do to reverse or change it. Xavier always gets his jugular slashed open, Rowan is always torn apart, and Eugene is hurt and wounded. I'm keep believing the illusion that I'm thinking I've been given the blessing of going back and changing my mistake, only for it to be a jester instead who's just messing with me, always influencing events until someone drops with blood everywhere.

Tyler and Wednesday have really been gotten along, much more than recently. I think she's finally starting to notice that the boy may actually be genuinely serious about whatever he's feeling for her, and will continue to pursue it until he finds her on equal footing. Honestly, I'm happy, someone finally managed to pull it off.  It just didn't happen to be me.

You know, I remember the way he handed that gift to the Addams back at Town Hall, and I think to myself.

Am I ever capable of delivering a thoughtful present like that?