Chapter 19 ♡__♡

Austin's letter had been sitting on my drawer for four days now. But I still wouldn't read it. I refused to read it. Sa tingin ko ay puro kasinungalingan lang ang nakasulat doon. Ang inisip ko na lang, kung nagawa na niyang magsinungaling noon, gagawin pa rin niya iyon para lang mabilog muli ang ulo ko.

And I wouldn't let that happen. Hindi ako tanga para maniwala pang muli sa kanya. Ang ikinaiinis ko lang ay pati si Jessy ay napaniwala niya. Jessy seemed to think he was innocent. Paniwalang-paniwala siya sa mga paliwanag ni Austin---which irked me even more.

Austin hadn't been in touch with me recently. He had stopped calling up ang texting me. Mukhang nagsawa na siya. I knew this would happen and I was no longer surprised. Pero inisip kong baka gimik niya ang kunwa'y paglayo para ako naman ang humabol sa kanya. Hindi ko na alam ang motibo niya. Minsan nga ay hindi ko na rin alam kung ano talaga ang paniniwalaan ko.

I felt a mixture of relief and sadness now that he had finally gotten my message I was really serious about ending our relationship. Aaminin ko na may panghihinayang ako sa relasyon namin pero kapag naiisip ko kung paano niya ako niloko ay bumabalik ang galit sa puso ko.

Hindi ko na alam kung alin sa mga sinabi niya ang totoo o hindi. Para sa akin, lahat ng iyon ay pulos kasinungalingan lamang.

Maybe he saw me as an easy target--- isang desperadang doktora. He must have thought I could be his sugar mommy and he could live in luxury with me as his partner. Biruin mo, hindi ko siya kilala pero nagbayad ako para lang maging date ko siya.

Ni hindi man lang ako nagtanong tungkol sa background niya. Pangalan lang ang itinanong ko at okay na ang lahat. Kaagad ko siyang binilhan ng mga damit para lang magmukhang disente siya. In the end, I could only blame myself why I was in this predicament.

Sa kagustuhan kong huwag maging kaawa-awa sa mga tao ay nagawa kong magsinungaling sa sarili ko. Because of my false pride, I was now suffering and my heart was breaking.

Pero hindi ko hahayaang masira ang buhay ko nang dahil sa kanya. Pipilitin kong makaahon. Pipilitin ko siyang kalimutan. Pipilitin kong bumalik sa normal ang buhay ko kahit mag-isa na uli ako.

Nang nakahiga na ako sa kama ay hindi ko na napigilan ang aking sarili. I retrieved the envelope from my drawer and opened it. I found a letter and the money I paid Austin. I put the money in the drawer then I went back to bed and read the letter.

Dear Catherine,

           I'm sorry if you felt I deceived you but I'm telling you that was never my intention. It was not a premeditated action. I guess I was just at the right place at the right time. You might even say it could be fate or destiny.

          All the things I have told you about myself are true. I'm Austin Santillan, the managing director of Sunset Resort in Camiguin Island and Sunrise Resort in Boracay, a family-owned enterprise. I'm really twenty-eight years old and single. And very much in love with you. When I walked into your clinic, I didn't know who you were. I was just there for a simple check up.

           Napadaan lang ako galing ng opisina ng kaibigan ko in tha same building. I had a blinding headache and I wanted a prescription. Iyon lang ang motibo ko nang pumasok ako sa clinic mo. I was surprised when you pointed at me and asked me to be your date that night.

            I tried to tell you who I was, but I couldn't get a word in. I saw you were in a panic and a bit distraught. And to be honest, I was really attracted to you at first sight. Hindi ko na rin maintindihan ang sarili ko kung bakit hindi ko na nagawang magpaliwanag. Maybe the desire to help you out was strong and I knew if I didn't take that chance, there was a possibility I would never see you again. And I didn't want that to happen.

I stopped readingfor a while. I was trying to digest everything he was saying. Nag-isip ako kung dapat ko pa bang ituloy ang pagbabasa. In the end, my curiousity got the better of me.

            Cathy, it was just a case of mistaken identity. I didn't deliberately try to hurt and deceive you but in my desire to not let you know I hurt you even more.

            Wala akong sinabi na hindi totoo. The only reason I didn't tell you I was not your supposed date was because I felt it was no longer relevant. Hindi mo rin naman kilala ang lalaki sanang makaka-date mo, so I thought it would be okay to not tell you anymore.

            I know it was my mistake. But it was an honest mistake. In fact, I was on the verge of telling you the whole truth but you found out before I got the chance too explain my side.

            I know you are hurting and you feel you can no longer trust me. And I respect that. Naiintindihan ko rin kung bakit ayaw mo na akong kausapin. But I'm really hoping you would change your mind after reading this letter. Nothing's changed as far as I'm concerned. I still love you. I'll still be waiting for you. But I'm not going to force you anymore.

            Hindi na kita pipiliting paniwalaan ako. Just search your heart, Cathy, and you would know I'm sincere when I tell you, I'm sorry, please forgive me and I love you. Jessy would know where to reach me if you ever decide to talk to me in person. I'm still hoping we could make it right.

            But for now, I'm giving you the space you need. When I walked through your door that day, I never knew it would change my life but I'm so glad I did because now I can honestly say you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

                                           Love,

                                          Austin

I was at a loss for words. No words could describe what I was feeling. Hindi ko alam kung iyon ay dahil nahihiya ako na hinusgahan ko agad si Austin gayong may pagkakamali rin ako. I was partly to blame for all this misunderstanding.

And now that everything had been cleared. I still didn't know what to do. My mind was still undecided but my heart seemed to have already made a decision. The choice was up to me. Alin ang susundin ko: and utak ko o ang puso ko?

After much deliberation, I decided to contact Jessy. She answered on the first ring. Para bang talagang hinihintay niya ang tawag ko.

"Catherine, did you read the letter?" bungad na tanong niya. Ni hindi na niya ako binati.

"Yeah, Jessy, I already did but do you think it's not too late to talk to him and make amends?" nag-aalalang tanong ko.

"Cathy, I hate to say this but it may already be too late" mahinang sagot niya.

Kaagad naman akong naalarma sa sagot niya. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nagbago na ang isip ni Austin. Napagod na kaya siya sa paghihintay sa akin?

"What do you mean? Tell me, Jessy" pakiusap ko

"He's on his way to Camiguin Island as we speak. Ang sabi niya, doon na muna siya maglalagi. Tapos na raw ang trabaho niya sa Manila at kailangan na niyang umuwi. He has sort of given up hope you would come to your senses. He's tired, Cathy. He's tired f waiting for you."

"Jessy, please I need to know where I would contact him in Camiguin Island. Kung kinakailangan akong isara ang clinic ko at sundan siya, handa akong gawin. Just tell me where I can reach him"

I pleaded. I ran out of the house.

"Jessy, pasakay na ako ng kotse. I'm on my way to the airport so just give me his travel details at baka sakaling mahabol ko pa siya sa airport" natatarantang sabi ko.

I got into my car and started the engine while Jessy rattled on Autin's flight number. Ang dasal ko lang ay wala nang traffic at maabutan ko pa siya. Pero kung sakaling nakaalis na siya, nakapagdesisyon na rin akong sundan siya sa Camiguin Island. Either way, I was going after him.

Nang makarating ako sa airport ay agad kong hinanap si Austin. I was looking frantically all over for him. Nagtanong na rin ako sa information area at ang sabi ay nakaalis na ang flight kung saan lulan si Austin.

With a heavy heart I started to walk away. He may have left already but I was going to follow him. Nakapagpasya na ako, pupuntahan ko siya sa Camiguin. I would just tie up some loose ends in Manila then I would follow him.

Naglalakad-lakad muna ako sa airport. Tiningnan ko ang mga eroplanong paalis at parating. Nakatanaw lang ako sa kawalan at iniisip ang mga ginawa k okay Austin. Kung hindi lang ako nagpakagaga, hindi ko sana nadarama ang ganoong kalungkutan.

Kung hindi ko idinaan sag alit ang lahat ay okay sana kami ngayon. I slumped on a chair and just glazed on the clouds, unaware that someone had sat beside me.

"Enjoying the view?"

Dahan-dahan akong tumingin sa tabi ko at napalundag ang puso ko nang Makita ko si Austin.

"Austin? Akala ko, nakaalis na ang flight mo. Bakit hindi ka tumuloy?" mahinang tanong ko habang ramdam ko ang mabilis na pagpintig ng aking puso.

"I was about to board the plane when I received a frantic call from Jessy. Papunta ka raw dito sa airport para sundan ako. So I just decided to wait for you"

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

"Austin, I'm really sorry....."

I started to speak but he silenced me by placing his finger on my lips.

"No apologies and explanations needed, Catherine. Everything is my fault"

Umiling ako.

"No, it's partly my fault"

"Okay then, it's both our fault. Why don't we start afresh and pretend we're meeting for the very first time? Okay lang ba sa iyo?"

I nodded. Umayos siya ng upo at tumingin siya sa akin nang diretso.

"Hi, I'm Austin Santillan and you are?" aniya, sabay lahad ng kamay niya sa akin.

"And I'm Catherine Lopez. 'Nice to meet you, Austin" sagot ko.

I reached for his hand to shake it.

He didn't let go of my hand. He just held it as he looked at me lovingly.

"Cathy, would you come with me to Boracay to meet my family?"

I smiled at his question.

"It would be my honor to meet them" sagot ko.

"And I thought your flight is on Camiguin Island? Wala ba ang pamilya mo doon?"

"Yes, I have flight. Pinapunta ako roon dahil may ipapagawa ang father ko and a little vacation bago pumunta sa Boracay. My family is on Boracay to make a vacation and also taking care our business"

He hugged me real tight then gently kissed me on the lips.

"Don't ever leave my side, Catherine. Life without you this past few weeks has been hell. Always remember that I love you and I'll never deliberately hurt you" he said huskily.

I nodded once again.

"I love you, too" sagot ko.

Life without him had been hell for me, too, but I knew no one could predict the future.

All I knew at that moment was I was happy to be with him and I was no longer afraid to love.

The future could take care of itself.

E...N...D

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