Izuku does not know where he is when he wakes, but it's warm and he's cocooned in blankets and the feeling of dread and frost on his lips is gone. The smell of warm embers and alcohol drift off to him and then the sound of a door creaking slips past him. Tomura walks in, ratty hair slipped in a messy ponytail― fringe spills from the top and stops at just above his eyebrows, that furrow into a bitter slant, mind you ―eyes bright and glaring.

"Where- where a-a-a-am I? T-tomu-tomura?"

"You're at the bar, Izuku. Or, well, more accurately on top of the bar. In my room."

"S-sorry,"

Tomura grits his teeth in frustration and claws at his arms, pink paints his skin in blotches and curves and angry lines. His hair tickles his forehead. Rage comes alive in the form of bugs under his skin and he needs to get rid of it. To get rid of the itching that spikes with guilt, he should be the one apologizing, not Izuku. (Maybe that was why Izuku was the good guy and not him, because Izuku feels empathy for the villain in ways no person ever has.)

"Would you stop fucking apologizing! It's not your fault! None of this mess is your goddamned fault! You almost died, Izuku! Why didn't you call or ask for help or turn on the heat―"

"'M so-sorry. I- I d-d-d-d-d-didn't m-mean t-t-to― sorry, sorry. 'M sorry."

He's shaking, Tomura's rage hazes away. Izuku is shaking.

"I just- never mind, Izuku. How'd you sleep?"

(It's cold, he thinks, it's cold. He won't say anything because complaining would be selfish and Izuku Midoriya is not selfish. He doesn't want to be―god, he really doesn't want to be selfish. Because Kaccan is selfish and it hurts so much―)

"I- I slept well, Tomura. Thank you."

Tomura just smiles. Izuku knows it isn't fake because he can see his yellowed teeth and Tomura's lips start to tear, namely the scar cut around his mouth. Izuku can only imagine what happened; though he'd rather not because all he can think of is Kacchan and―pop, crackle, boom―he just stands there in fear because he was weak and afraid and he is Deku. (He really doesn't want to remember Deku, so he blocks it out and focuses on Tomura's genuine smile.)

All of Tomura's real smiles are with his lips stretched and his teeth showing. He smiles too, it reaches his ears in an awkward, ugly kind of way, but it's real. It's a thank you, as pathetic as he is he can't bring himself to say it.

"Just sleep, Izuku. You deserve to be happy for once."

Izuku nods quietly, but he internally disagrees. Deku's don't get to be happy, he thinks. Deku's don't get anything good at all.

Deku's get burns and sneers and they die alone. He is a Deku, and Kacchan is a hero. He was born to be a hero, his hands can save. As long as his mouth doesn't kill someone first. Words cut deeper than actions and ("Take a swan dive―) he is lucky that Izuku isn't as selfish as he wants to be. He is lucky, he was born lucky, Izuku thinks. Kacchan had been praised for everything, even hurting others.

"S-sure, T-t-t-tomura."

Tomura just sighs, his head on his hand, pinkie raised out of habit. He leaves the room with a click of the door, feet trailing behind him. Izuku just stares at everything around him, griping on the blanket rested on top of him, a chill rushes up to the tip of his spine. Izuku knows nothing in here is his; nothing in here is familiar to his forest eyes and shaking hands. But he's almost sure this is Tomura's room. It has the broken light bulb that somehow still works, the dark blue sheets for his pillow and bed and―oh god is he sleeping in Tomura's bed? Then where was Tomura sleeping? It couldn't be any place good. He was disturbing him, wasn't he?

No, no, no, no, this wasn't what he wanted, he wanted to help not to intrude. Now Tomura's going to hate him because he couldn't hold his own during winter break. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Pathetic. Deku.

He really can't do anything right, can he?

There's nothing he can do now though, yet the anxiety persists. He shouldn't have the right, it says, he shouldn't have the right to interfere with his life because of small things like nearly catching hypothermia.

It isn't even that serious; unless it happened to someone else. He's not saying hypothermia doesn't matter, he's just saying that it shouldn't matter that he has hypothermia because he doesn't matter. Deku's don't matter and he's the only Deku in the world so he doesn't matter him just―

The door opens again; Tomura isn't the one who comes into the room this time. It's a man―not that Izuku is assuming anything but it's just that he's wearing a suit and Tomura always says Kurogiri wears a suit like that and Tomura says Kurogiri was like a father to him. S-so, yeah.. that's why Izuku thinks this is Kurogiri and therefore a man.

"You must be Midoriya Izuku," his eyes are golden slits that never change. Never, they don't fluctuate at all, and Izuku is scared because if he can't read this man then he's in danger― 

"Shigaraki Tomura has said many good things about you. I am Kurogiri."

"I- I'm Midoriya Izuku I- I'm sorry. A-ah, y-you just said that I- I'm sorry."

His golden eyes slant as if he's never heard an apology before. Mist flickers above him- Izuku does not want to disturb the peace in Tomura's life. Don't intrude. The man nods, and Izuku doesn't see because he's not supposed to be here. He's not supposed to be anywhere (maybe Kacchan was up to something.)

He has no right to be here, the silence shrieks at him. He has no right. He's a Deku and he has no reason to be here. The only thing he would do is make them angry and―

"There's no need to apologize, young Midoriya. You have been a help to my master. He had learned so much under you."

Kurogiri bows at ninety degrees. Izuku has memorized the angle, it is the one he bends himself to whenever someone stands in front of him. Disrespect is the first way of getting hurt and―pop, crackle, boom―he really doesn't want to get hurt again.

The scar on his left side hurts and burns and aches and itches, but he doesn't scratch. He wouldn't want Kurogiri to worry. If he can. (Tomura said there was something off about him. That Sensei messed him up in the head. Kurogiri thinks like a hero, and he listens and listens. Never blowing his temper, it's not human, Tomura says.)

Izuku isn't used to emotionless people. He got used to reading faces and body language. If he can't read them, they can jump him at any minute and then his heart would ache and he would cry―and he hates crying. Heroes don't cry.

His left side still burns. Eyelids are lead on his face (falling asleep would be rude. Don't be rude, Izuku).

There is an emptiness in his chest, but he smiles anyway. This time it doesn't reach his ears, it is fake and dull, it is a void of all the pain he's dipped into his eyes. But he's learned how to make his eyes look happy and how to bare his teeth enough that nobody suspects a thing.

"Th-thank y-you, K-kurogiri."

He's no hero. He's just a worthless Deku, that's all.