~Astra~

The day flew by. Colette read me the important passages from Cassandra Trelawney's journals at lunch (well, translated them into normal English) while Poppy, Albus, Wren, and Ciara talked about other, far more boring things like prefect meetings or whatever it was they talked about. I found out from River that she had Care of Magical Creatures later that afternoon, and Adalyn was also taking the class. When our friends went off to History of Magic, Albus and I loitered around the entrance hall until Albus decided he'd better go wait upstairs, because class was almost out and he wanted to have as much time as possible to find the plans.

I twirled my wand around in my hand, wishing there were windows in the entrance hall so I could see if the fifth years were coming up yet. It felt like ages before the door finally creaked open, and then I still had to wait. There were several students I recognized from all four Houses, chattering about whatever magical creature they'd seen that day. I saw River, who met my eye and managed to pull her friends to the side casually enough. I'd paid her a galleon to make sure Mr. Potter came when the trouble started, and not tell anyone I'd asked. She'd been nice enough to not ask questions.

Adalyn Lostry was one of the last people to walk through the doors. She was trailing behind a few of Slytherin girls, though it seemed pretty clear that she wasn't part of the group. She didn't pay me much attention as I hopped up and started towards her until I was blocking her path. Then, she only glared at me. "Move it, Lestrange."

"I need to talk to you, actually," I said, planting myself firmly in her way.

She stopped walking with an annoyed huff. "What is it?"

"I heard that you're getting into the Dark Arts. Is that true?"

Adalyn glared at someone behind me. "I'm surprised you'd trust that bitch, honestly."

I blinked at her, then glanced over my shoulder to see that Brigitte Myers had frozen halfway across the entrance hall. She was watching us, but when I looked her way, she scurried off. I frowned and turned back to Adalyn. "It wasn't Brigitte, okay?"

"Then who was it?"

"None of your business." I shook my head. "That's not the point, anyway. The point is that you're getting mixed up in things that are way above your head."

"I don't think you'd know what's above my head and what isn't, Lestrange," Adalyn said sharply. "You've hardly looked in my direction since first year."

"Well, you see, looking in your direction makes me incredibly sad, because you're such a waste of life."

Adalyn didn't seem hurt by that at all, unfortunately. She really didn't care what I thought about it. She did look a little surprised, though, and cocked her head as if she wasn't sure she'd heard me right. "Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said." I twirled my wand in my hand casually. It wasn't very threatening, I knew, but it was enough to make Adalyn's hand hover over her own pocket. "But that's not why I'm here. I also heard you were trying to get in good with Stillens. I wanted to tell you how utterly stupid that is."

"You don't know anything at all," Adalyn said.

"I know that getting mixed up with Stillens would be a death sentence for a coward like you."

Now Adalyn really did pull out her wand, though she didn't hex me yet. "What do you want, Lestrange? I assume you didn't come here just to get in a fight?"

That was exactly why I'd come there, but I rolled my eyes as if it wasn't. "Are you dense? I'm trying to help you. Keep you from making the worst mistake of your life. And let you know that treating Caymus Stillens like some bloody club, that you can just casually join and no one will have any problems with it? That isn't okay here. That couldn't further from okay."

Adalyn was glaring at me like she actually wanted to kill me. If I hadn't been sure that I could out-duel her, I might have been scared. As it was, I just braced myself to throw up a shield charm.

She didn't hex me immediately. "You're going to regret underestimating me, Lestrange. Do you think I'm taking anything lightly? No one's ever cared about me here. You made sure of that. Or don't you remember?"

Of course I did, but I just laughed. "You're the one that chose to hang out with a psychopath, Lostry. It's not my fault he messed you up."

"Jasper?" She made a face. "He's just as stupid as you are."

"Considering you're a knock-off of him, what does that make you?"

"Shut up!" Adalyn stomped her foot, then pointed her wand at me. "Expulso!"

I blocked the spell pretty easily, though it did put me off balance a bit. Before Adalyn could try something else, I cast a silent jelly-legs jinx that made her fall over. I saw River and her friends hurrying off out of the corner of my eye. Good, that meant about five more minutes of this. I could do that. Just keep her talking, and keep the hexes to a minimum.

"You know Stillens would care about you even less than anyone does here, right?" I asked as Adalyn struggled to stand up, fighting the effects of the fading jinx. "You'd be miserable and evil then, wouldn't you?"

"You're the only one who's going to be miserable," Adalyn spat. "Confringo!"

I blocked that one, too, though not well; it bounced off my shield charm and hit a suit of armor across the hall, which burst apart with a clatter. I shot another silent jelly-legs jinx, which she blocked, but she wasn't able to block when I shot flipendo a few seconds later. She was thrown back to the floor, more roughly than I'd meant. I heard the crack of her head connecting with the floor. She sat up slowly, wincing, her hand held up to the back of her head. When she pulled her hand away, I saw red staining her fingers. For a moment, she blinked at it, then raised her eyes to glare at me.

I wanted to apologize; I wasn't trying to hurt her, not really. But this needed to seem like a real, spontaneous duel, so I just shrugged. "Maybe that'll teach you not to meddle with things you're not supposed to."

"I'm not a child!" She managed to stand up, still training her wand on me. "Don't you dare start acting like you've got some kind of moral high ground. You're just as bad as everyone else at this bloody school."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, trying not to laugh. It had to take such a twisted view of the world to see things like that, didn't it? "You ever think the reason people don't like you is because you're the type of girl who feels lonely and decides the best thing to do is learn the Dark Arts and join a terrorist group?"

"The only terrorist group I know of is the DA," Adalyn said. "I want nothing to do with them. Reducto!"

I blocked her once again, this time trying to deflect it back on her. It didn't work, instead flying over her head and hitting the wall behind her. It seemed to scare her, though, which was more of what I'd been going for, anyway. She glared at me again, then raised her wand and said, "Sectum sempra!"

I blocked out of instinct, but I didn't do it very well. I felt the curse brush across my face. Warm blood was dripping down my cheek. For a moment, I could only stare at her, mouth open. Was she an idiot? Did she even have a brain? She didn't even have the awareness to look chagrined, instead glaring at me as if she might do it again.

"Are you completely out of your mind?" I asked, reaching up to wipe at the blood on my face, though it kept coming, so I don't know why I bothered. "Are you trying to kill me? Don't you dare tell me you didn't know what that spell did."

"Oh, I know what it does," she said, holding her head a little higher. "Really unfortunate that you blocked it."

"Attempted murder is not okay, Lostry!"

"If only I bloody cared!"

That was it: I had been having to pretend at some of my anger before, but no longer. Adalyn was mental, and completely beyond hope. Without even bothering with nonverbal magic, I advanced on her, casting jinx after jinx, more than she was able to keep up with. Flipendo, locomotor wibbly, morstimulus. Adalyn deflected some, and tried to shoot a few curses at me, too, but then I disarmed her. And though I should have stopped then, I didn't. I still don't know why.

Mr. Potter yelling at me brought me back to my senses. I dropped my wand immediately, and as my head cleared from the red of rage, I realized that Adalyn was kneeling on the floor, blocking her face and shaking. I couldn't tell if the cause was anger, fear, or a hex. Mr. Potter brushed past me to help her to her feet, and as she stood up, the glare she shot me had such a deep hatred that I couldn't bring myself to answer Mr. Potter's demands of what was going on for several minutes.

Well, that had worked. Mr. Potter sent River, who had followed him back to the entrance, off to get Professor Lockley and bring him to the hospital wing, then started helping Adalyn up the stairs. I picked up my wand and hers before following, and didn't argue when he insisted I give them to him.

Once Adalyn was settled into a bed in the hospital wing, and Madam Cantha was tending to her head (luckily, it seemed like a concussion would be the worst of her lasting injuries), Mr. Potter pulled me to the side. "What on earth was that?"

I briefly explained what Lily had said about Adalyn and Brigitte's fight, and that I'd just been trying to talk to her before we started dueling. It sounded like a flimsy excuse now, of course; I'd gone a little overboard.

"What part of trying to help her involved hexing her when she was unarmed?" Mr. Potter asked, eyes narrowed.

"She started it," I said immediately. "It just... escalated."

He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "I would've thought better of you than attacking someone after you'd already disarmed her, Astra."

"She used septum sempra on me!"

He paused for a moment. For a moment, I hoped that maybe I wouldn't even get detention; after all, that was some very dark magic and Adalyn definitely knew the effects of that spell. But he sighed and shook his head. "Was this before or after you gave her a concussion?"

I pursed my lips and looked down. "After."

"Professor Lockley and I will deal with Adalyn. However, you shouldn't have been antagonizing her in the first place." Mr. Potter rubbed his temple as if he had a headache. "Astra, why didn't you just come talk to me about it?"

I shrugged. I felt like that was normal enough for me to not really warrant a response. "Please don't tell my aunt."

"I have half a mind to call her up here and let her deal with you herself." My eyes widened, and he sighed. "I'm not going to. But if I ever catch you doing something like this again..." He shook his head. "Andromeda angry is not something you want to deal with."

"I know. I'm sorry..." I glanced over at Adalyn, who was wincing as Madam Cantha pressed something against the back of her head. "I really didn't mean to hurt her."

Mr. Potter nodded. "Well, I'll have to take points from Gryffindor for this. I think about twenty."

"I know."

"And give you detention."

I sighed exaggeratedly. "At least make sure it's not one that Eris Prince or Marcus Dillam is monitoring, please."

He chuckled. "You know I'm not supposed to do that. We'll just go with the next two days, all right?"

"All right..."

"And I'd like you to apologize to Adalyn." My mouth dropped open in indignation, but Mr. Potter held up his hand to stop me from arguing. "It doesn't have to be right now. Go calm down, and come back later. But you do need to apologize."

"What about her?"

"This isn't about her, Astra. We're talking about you."

I shook my head. "I would literally rather through myself off the Astronomy Tower. She's actually evil."

Mr. Potter just shrugged indifferently. "In that case, maybe if you can manage to apologize genuinely, it'll be a step in the right direction for her."

Professor Lockley came bustling into the hospital wing just then. Mr. Potter let me go while he went to explain the situation. I left just as Lockley was gasping in shock that I would ever be involved in something like this.

I went straight to the common room. Albus was there, along with Colette and Wren. He shot me a thumbs up out of their line of sight, and I felt a wave of relief. At least all that wasn't for nothing.

Wren was watching me thoughtfully as I sat down, which meant that River or her friends had definitely been telling people that Adalyn and I had gotten in a duel. I'd been expecting a much more judgy greeting, so I was pleasantly surprised when she just said, "Where have you been?"

"Um..." No reason to hide the truth, obviously, but I supposed under normal circumstances I might be tempted to. "Talking to Adalyn Lostry."

"Heard you were doing more than talking," Colette observed, though she didn't look up from her book. I got the feeling that they'd already discussed this.

"Okay, I might have shot a few spells," I said, shrugging. "She's annoying."

"What happened?" Albus asked.

"Well, it started this morning. I suppose Albus told you two about what Lily said?" Wren and Colette nodded. Perfect. "Well... I really was just trying to talk to her, see if I could help. But she got defensive and angry and started shooting spells at me, so I hexed her back. I wasn't really trying to hurt her, or anything."

"I take that to mean you did hurt her?" Colette asked.

"Maybe..." I sighed and briefly described how everything had gone down, emphasizing the sectum sempra part over the part where I disarmed her and kept hexing her until Mr. Potter showed up. Colette seemed completely unfazed, and Albus shrugged and did a remarkable job of looking surprised, but not upset.

Wren, on the other hand, was staring at me as if I'd just casually described how I'd gotten away with murder. After Albus had finished shrugging and saying he hoped Adalyn would think twice about messing with the Dark Arts, now, Wren said, "Are you out of your mind?"

"What?" Albus asked.

I wasn't sure if she'd been talking to me or him, but the look she gave us confirmed it was both of us. "If anything, this will probably make her that much more determined to do whatever it is she's wanting to do," Wren said, frowning. "If she thinks no one at Hogwarts cares about her, so Stillens is a better alternative, I don't think you helped matters by hexing her into the hospital wing."

"I'm sorry," I snapped, not bothering to hide the defensiveness in my tone. "I didn't set out with the intention of dueling her, okay?"

"I know you didn't." Wren closed her eyes for a moment as if she was battling a headache. "You were trying to help, and it escalated. I know. I just..." She shook her head. "I can't believe that you put her directly in the path of the one person at this school who might actually help her get in with Stillens."

Oh, shit. I shot a quick glance at Albus. Neither of us had considered the fact that Madam Cantha worked for Stillens, and landing Adalyn in the hospital wing might have other repercussions than simply making her angry. But there wasn't time to feel bad about that, was there? I pursed my lips, then shook my head. "It'll be fine, Wren."

"Will it?" Wren glanced at Albus, then at me. For a moment, I was afraid she suspected there might be something more going on. She didn't say anything to that effect, though. "I don't know anything about Jericho Cantha. I don't know if she'd have any problems connecting a sixteen-year-old girl with Stillens, and vouching for her. I could see her doing it just to spite Nico, honestly. But I know that neither Nico or I would dream of letting Adalyn Lostry anywhere near this, because I would never do that to anyone and Nico thinks she's annoying. But I can't say the same for Madam Cantha, so there's a very good chance that her being in the hospital after a duel where she got accused of wanting to work with Stillens could actually be her gateway into doing just that. This could have actually just ruined her life."

I glanced at Albus and Colette, to see if they might have some kind of defense. Colette was staring into the distance with a frown that told me she agreed with Wren. Albus had gone a little pale. He was watching me, a tense expression on his face. He hadn't thought about any of that either until now, at least.

"Well, I don't know what you expect me to do about it," I said moodily, more because I was suddenly feeling guilty than because I was frustrated at her.

Wren didn't answer for a moment. She sighed, and I couldn't tell if it was a frustrated sigh or a regretful sigh or a sad sigh. She didn't seem angry anymore, though. "I'm sorry. I know you can't do anything about it now. And it's not really your fault. Adalyn was clearly long down this path before you ever dueled her. If anything comes from this, it probably would have happened eventually, anyway." She gave me a small, encouraging smile that didn't really make me feel a lot better, but at least assured me she wasn't angry at me for it all.

"I suppose we'll just have to pray nothing happens," Albus said, frowning. "Maybe Dad won't leave them alone together? He knows Cantha works for Stillens." He shrugged, then glanced at me. "Did you get in trouble?"

"Of course." I chuckled. "Detention for the next two days, and twenty points from Gryffindor." I raised an eyebrow. "Don't suppose either of you know who's monitoring detentions?"

"I don't know about Friday, but tomorrow it's me and Scorpius," Albus said, grinning. "You couldn't have had better timing."

I was inclined to agree with him. I was the only one there on Thursday, and Scorpius and Albus and I had spent an hour playing exploding snap. Besides that, several Slytherins I'd never talked to before came up and congratulated me on "teaching that creep a lesson," which was a little odd. Scorpius explained that Adalyn was easily one of the least popular people in their House. Nico Jasper kept to himself enough these days that most people didn't mind him, as long as they didn't have to be partnered with him for a project or something, but Adalyn seemed to take pleasure in making herself as hatable as possible, constantly calling people mudbloods and being a git. Just that morning, she'd tried to duel Ciara. Scorpius was pretty sure she thought Ciara was the one who'd been talking to me, though Ciara had no idea what she was talking about.

Afterwards, Albus and I went off to the library to study the plans. They were very extensive: the basement was three fulls floors of twisting corridors and rooms. Very few things were labelled in any helpful manner, just "cell" or "interrogation room" or "storage." Several rooms had no label at all. We tried to figure out which ones Stillens might be keeping the children in, and argued a lot about whether Stillens would keep them in the cells or not. Albus said yes, but I said no. Cassie had never mentioned anything like that. We finally agreed we would check; the cells were on the lowest floor, anyway, so the logical place to start.

You see, there was the main entrance into the basement: the stairs down from the main house. However, trying to get in that way would be suicide, really. However, there were at least three corridors that shot off the lowest floor, all the way off the plans. They were very similar to how the secret passages that led to Hogsmeade from the school showed up on the Marauder's Map. The best explanation was that these were separate entrances to the basement. We could think of a couple reasons for having them: to keep all the trash out of the house, for one thing; Stillens didn't seem like the type to really want to interact with his more seedy workers. It could also throw off people who were trying to track down where the manor was. Though we knew it was possible to floo into the house, and apparate near it, Albus was pretty sure Stillens wouldn't want most people to be able to do that. Apparating or flooing to another location, then taking a secret passage to the house made a lot more sense.

The passages each had a name next to them. Purdue, Hart, and Langston. What that meant, we weren't entirely sure. Maybe it was towns the passages led to? Or code for the location? We'd have to figure that out if we wanted to use the passages, of course. The plans had the original name of the house, Woodston Manor, which meant we would be able to find it on some map, surely. Albus told me he'd look for towns or villages or anything called Purdue, Hart, or Langston around the manor while I was at detention.

Planning all of this was very exciting, in a weird way. Obviously, I recognized that it was going to be dangerous, and we would have to be careful, but I was also nearly giddy that we were finally able to do something.

I looked a little bit too happy to be walking into detention, I know. I saw Cedric Rogers first, giving me a very weird look, which I didn't understand until I made eye contact with the other prefect in the room and realized I couldn't have had worse timing in getting detention, because now I was going to have to spend an hour with Marcus Dillam.

Marcus blinked at me for a moment, as if he hadn't been expecting me, which didn't make sense because the prefects had a list of who was supposed to be in detention, so they'd know if someone skipped. I stared right back at him, because I wasn't about to give Marcus the satisfaction of seeing me uncomfortable. After a moment, he looked away.

"Hey, Astra," Cedric said after an awkward moment of silence. "How's it going?"

"Well, I've got detention, so it's been better." I flashed a smile and sat down at a desk in the front row, in front of where Cedric was sitting on the teacher's desk.

Cedric glanced over his shoulder at Marcus, who seemed to be pretending neither of us existed, then rolled his eyes. "Don't mind him. He'll sit over there moping the whole time, I'm sure."

"I wouldn't expect anything else from a moron like him," I said, my tone cutting. Marcus didn't seem to react at all, which was frustrating. I couldn't see his face, of course, but I'd been hoping for a glare, maybe a fight. Nothing would give me more satisfaction than getting Marcus Dillam in trouble when he was supposed to be monitoring my detention.

Cedric informed me that there were supposed to be a couple of younger students here, because he and Marcus had caught some Ravenclaws trying to sneak into the kitchen past curfew. They sat in a huddle in the back when they arrived. Cedric didn't seem to care that they were whispering, and Marcus didn't seem to notice that anyone was there at all. I spent most of the time talking with Cedric about classes and Quidditch and all the current gossip in Gryffindor Tower (it was mainly about me and Adalyn Lostry, so what was new?).

As soon as the hour was up, the Ravenclaws dashed out the door. Cedric had to hurry off (study date with Eviana Clausen, apparently), and I was going to hurry off, as well, when Marcus spoke for the first time in an hour. And to me, no less. "Astra?"

I paused in the doorway, not sure if I wanted to put up with whatever was about to happen. If he wanted to try to get back together with me again... I slowly turned around, putting on my most judgmental frown. "What do you want?"

He didn't have any sort of confident swagger. In fact, his shoulders were slumped a little, and he seemed to be having trouble meeting my eyes. "Just... can we talk?"

"Why on earth would I want to talk to you?" I snapped.

Marcus winced. "Fair question. Please, just hear me out."

I really wanted to do anything else, but something in the nearly pathetic picture in front of me made me stay. Marcus had finally looked at me, and there was something in his eyes that held me there. It wasn't quite sadness, really, but it was something very deep, and genuine, it felt like. And I know I'm not the best at judging things like that, but the... regret? Remorse? Whatever it was that was in his expression, it seemed real. There was no one around to put on a show for, anyway, except me.

Obviously, I was still very skeptical. Marcus wasn't getting off the hook for anything very easily. I didn't say anything, just raised an eyebrow at him, letting him continue.

He had hesitated, as if bracing himself for me to yell at him, but when he saw I wasn't going to do that, he relaxed a little. He ran a hand through his hair, something that I'd seen him do a thousand times but now seemed more like a nervous tic than anything else. "I... I just wanted to apologize. And explain everything. I feel like you deserve that. And please don't think I'm trying to make excuses for myself, because I'm not..." He winced. "The truth doesn't put me in any better light than you already see me in, I'm sure."

I felt my frown deepening, though I wasn't sure how I felt. Marcus was a prat, and a horrible ex-boyfriend, and I really didn't want anything to do with him. He'd made my life miserable for nearly all of last year. He was cruel, and a liar, and completely two-faced. He was easily one of the worst people I knew, and that was saying a lot.

Or, he had been all of those things, I guess. Marcus this year had been very different, and had totally avoided me as much as I'd avoided him. He was a complete mystery now. Maybe he had actually realized what a douchebag he was. Maybe he was trying to change.

Marcus was watching me nervously, as if waiting for permission to keep going. I rolled my eyes and huffed. I wouldn't make this easy, at least. "Okay. Whatever."

He took a deep breath. "Well, like I said, I'm really sorry. I messed up everything, totally and completely, and I get that." A pause, when he looked up from the floor and met my eyes again. "But you should know that I didn't mean to do that, not at first. I liked you a lot. I don't know if I've ever been in love, but when we were together, my fifth year? That was the closest I've ever been to it, I think."

Well, lovely. I had managed to convince myself he never cared for me at all, because it was a lot easier to process that way. I narrowed my eyes. "What happened, then?"

"I don't know, exactly." Marcus winced. "We went home over the summer, and my dad spent two months telling me what a worthless liar you were, how I was disgracing the family by going out with you... Horrible stuff. I should've realized something was off with him then, honestly." He shook his head. "That's not the point. The point is that I tried to not listen to him. I knew you weren't a liar. I knew you were wonderful, and kind, and brave, and everything good, but my parents told me you were manipulating me. I didn't believe them, not really, but it stuck in my head anyway."

"I suppose that's why you cheated on me?" I asked dryly.

"No, I cheated on you because I'm an ass," he said, looking away. If I'd had any doubts that he was genuinely apologizing, they were leaving now. Marcus Dillam had just admitted that it was his fault that he'd cheated on me, and that that made him an ass. There was no way he'd have been able to swallow his pride and say something like that last year. He was continuing, though, so I didn't have time to contemplate that. "And I slandered you and Potter because I'm the worst, and I panicked, and I didn't want to ruin my reputation so instead I tried to ruin yours."

He took a deep breath, brow furrowed as if thinking about all of that was painful. "Part of me can't believe I ever did any of that, but..." He shook his head. "Clearly I'm a far worse person than I thought. What I did to you was so wrong, and I'm really, incredibly sorry." He swallowed hard and looked away. "What's worse is I didn't even start to realize any of this was wrong until I found out that my dad was working for Stillens, and that's why he'd been egging me on the whole time."

I could only stare at him. He was admitting he'd been wrong. And not flippantly, either; he was getting a little worked up about it all. He really had to believe he'd done something awful for apologizing to be this hard. I mean, he had done something awful. I just couldn't believe he knew that.

Marcus pursed his lips for a moment. "Anyway, it shouldn't have taken me finding out my dad was working for Caymus Stillens to realize what an ass I was being. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about it all. Everything. I hope you can forgive me eventually." He hesitated as if he wanted to say something else, but didn't. Instead, he just nodded. "That's all." With that, he walked past me, out the door.

I stood there for a moment, blinking at where he'd been. Had that just happened? Was Marcus Dillam actually changing, growing up, taking responsibility for all the things he'd done? I would never have expected that. Was I happy about it? I felt happy, but also kind of frustrated. I didn't like him, and I didn't want to give him a chance. I mean, I supposed that wasn't what he was really asking for, but some spiteful part of me didn't even want to accept that Marcus could change. I didn't want to take his extremely genuine apology because... I don't know, I suppose I enjoyed hating him. I enjoyed feeling like I was better than him. To accept his apology, to forgive him, would be to admit that he wasn't completely evil and worthless, and I didn't want to do that.

But I really had moved on. I could think about everything that had happened with Marcus and Mollie last year without getting upset, or even feeling sad, really. Which meant the only thing keeping me from forgiving Marcus now was my own spite and desire to watch him spiral into a horrible, miserable person who would never be loved and die alone. That wasn't right, was it?

I pursed my lips, torn between going after him and forgiving him, and letting him walk away and suffer like he deserved. He'd caused me so much pain, and knowing that withholding my forgiveness might do something similar made me feel very powerful.

But that's not right, a voice in my head whispered. I sighed. Damn it, conscience.

I dashed out the door. He was halfway down the corridor already, and I ran up behind him. "Hey, Marcus."

He stopped, but turned very slowly, bracing himself as if he expected me to slap him or something. For a moment, I just studied at his face, trying to see any hint of deception or lies behind his eyes. I couldn't, though. I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not.

With a sigh, I said, "I forgive you."

Marcus blinked at me for a moment. It took him a second to process what I'd said, it seemed like, and a second longer to realize I was being serious. I watched his eyes widen in surprise. A soft smile appeared on his face. For a moment, he didn't seem able to say anything, though he opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Finally, he managed to nod. "Thank you," he said quietly. "Really."

I smiled a little, feeling awkward now. "Sure. Yeah." What on earth were you supposed to follow this kind of conversation up with? "Well... I hope you have a good life, Marcus."

That sounded very trite to me, but he nodded seriously. "You, too." With a small wave, he turned and left, leaving me standing in the hallway with a ridiculous amount of thoughts and even more feelings whirling through me. I couldn't identify half of them.

In a bit of a daze, I made my way to the library to find Albus. He was near the back, sitting on the floor next to a shelf about British history. There were books stacked all around him, some open to maps of Wales. Though he looked a little frustrated, he smiled at me when he noticed me walking up. "How was detention?"

"It was Cedric and Marcus," I said, sitting down next to him.

Albus made a face. "I'm sorry. Was he horrible?"

"No, actually." I picked up the closest book so I could avoid looking up. "He... he actually apologized for everything."

"Oh." I wasn't looking at him, so I couldn't see his expression, but I imagined from his tone that he was not pleased. "Did you believe him?"

"Did I believe him?" I glanced up, raising an incredulous eyebrow.

"I mean, like, did you believe he meant it?" Albus had pursed his lips tightly. "He's selfish and arrogant and I can't imagine him apologizing and meaning it, is all."

"I couldn't, either," I said, shrugging. "But I think he was being genuine."

"How do you know?"

"I could just tell, Al." I shrugged. "It wasn't like the times he tried to get back together with me last year, or anything. He just told me what had happened, that he'd really liked me, but his dad had started to get into his head, and then he'd made some really wrong decisions. He said he was wrong. He said he hadn't even realized until he'd found out his dad was working for Stillens, too, but he should've realized a long time before. And he asked me to forgive him, but didn't even seem to expect me to right then."

"Did you forgive him?" Albus asked, an annoyed undertone to his voice.

I frowned. "Would you have a problem if I did?"

"Do whatever you want, Astra." He shrugged, picking up a book and flipping through it without seeming to see any of the pages. "It's your life."

I reached over and pulled the book out of his hands. "Albus, are you all right?"

"Of course I am."

He tried to grab the book back from me, but I held it out of his reach. "Are you angry that I forgave him?"

For a moment, Albus just frowned at me. I frowned right back, because there was something going on here and I wanted to know what it was. Finally, he sighed. "No. I'm not. I just really hate Marcus Dillam, is all."

I relaxed a little. "I know." I handed the book back to him, and he set it down without even glancing at it. "But people can change, Al."

"How do you know he's changed?"

I shrugged. "I know he wouldn't have said all that last year. He acknowledged that he was a horrible person, and I think that was him trying to make it right."

"Apologizing doesn't make anything right," Albus said, rolling his eyes.

"I mean, it doesn't change anything, I guess. But I accepted that all of that happened and I couldn't do anything about it a long time ago, Albus. Him apologizing just let me let go of whatever bitterness I was still holding on to."

Albus shrugged, but I could tell he didn't agree with me. I appreciated the sentiment; he just didn't want me to get hurt, and didn't want to forgive someone who had hurt me. But it was a little frustrating, too. I didn't necessarily enjoy defending Marcus Dillam. "Albus, what is it?"

"I'm sorry," he said, sighing. "I never really liked him, even before he started being a prat."

I frowned. Never liked him? Sure, when we first started dating and Albus was jealous, I knew that he didn't like him, but I'd thought they'd warmed up to each other after Albus and I had made up. "You liked him near the end of fourth year, didn't you?"

Albus looked away. "No. Not really."

"You didn't?"

"I tried to." Albus closed his eyes. "I acted like I did, because there wasn't a good reason for me not to at the time, other than just being selfish."

"Being selfish?" I echoed.

He didn't answer. His fingers drummed across the cover of the book in his lap. He seemed lost in his thoughts, and he wasn't meeting my eye again. It seemed like forever before he sighed and said, "I had a crush on you from third year until last October, Astra. That includes the whole time you were with him."

I blinked. Albus had liked me? Until October? But... "I thought you stopped after we fought about Marcus fourth year."

"I did, too. But it came back. And every time after that that I tried to get over you, it came back."

"Until October?"

He shrugged as if he didn't really want to talk about it. "Yeah. October. That's not the point. I'm saying I never liked Marcus, and I don't really want to start now."

I didn't answer, because I wasn't sure what to say. Albus had liked me? All that time? Suddenly, so many things made a lot more sense. How moody he'd always been around Marcus and me. The times when we'd been together, and he'd suddenly gotten embarrassed or awkward and had never told me why. It all seemed so obvious now, that I wondered why I'd never noticed before.

Albus had gone back to the book in his hand, an almost sullen expression on his face. I watched him study a map of Wales for a few moments. Before I could say anything, his shoulders sagged and he glanced up at me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that. I'd promised myself I never would. I'm not expecting you to do anything about it, okay? It's all in the past, I know, and you never saw me as anything more than a friend. I get it." He smiled uncertainly. "I hope this doesn't change anything."

I shook my head, then shrugged. "I just can't believe how oblivious I was."

He chuckled. "Ridiculously so. I think literally everyone else knew I liked you, except maybe my dad."

"You definitely don't, now?"

Albus frowned. "I have a girlfriend, Astra."

"Just making sure." I sighed. "I'm sorry I was so oblivious, but I'm glad you've moved on. You're like... my brother, honestly. My best friend."

"I know." He smiled and patted my knee. "You're my best friend, too. There's a reason I never told you before now. I knew you wouldn't want anything to change."

I smiled back. My eyes drifted down to the book on his lap, and I finally remembered why we were in the library in the first place. "Oh! Did you find out where the manor is?"

Albus's face lit up. "Yes! It's in Wales, near Newtown."

"Did you find out where the passages might lead to?"

The smile dropped. "No. I can't find any villages named Purdue, Hart, or Langston. I also checked rivers, forests, hills, all the other geographical features I could think of. I was just going through and seeing if there might be any houses in the area."

"That's odd." I sighed. "I really hope they're not code for something, because if they are, I don't know that we'll be able to figure it out."

After a couple hours pouring over maps and history books, though, we were both beginning to fear that might be the case. We checked everything we could think of, from the businesses in all the surrounding towns and villages to road names to historical accounts of the area. Nothing came up. It wasn't until Madam Since kicked us out because the library was closing that we realized we'd missed dinner. We snuck down to the kitchens to convince the house elves to give us something to eat, then went up to bed, making a point to avoid both Wren and Colette, in case they asked questions.

Of course, the next morning Wren asked where we'd been at breakfast, but after an evasive answer I launched right in to telling her, James, and Colette about Marcus, and our absence the night before was completely forgotten. James was predictably unconvinced, and Colette didn't seem to care (the Quibbler had just arrived, and she was making a point to flash it around so that Kimmel might see it and get annoyed), but Wren told me she believed me, which I appreciated.

"Any news today?" James asked, an obvious ploy to change the subject.

"Not much new," Colette said, shrugging. "The head of the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee is pushing for muggleborns to not be allowed on the committee, because they're 'too biased.'" She rolled her eyes. "Purdue's out of his mind. At least maybe it'll remind people too much of Voldemort."

I had started, nearly knocking over my glass. "What did you say?"

"Maybe it'll remind people too much of Voldemort," Colette repeated.

"No, before that."

"Purdue's out of his mind?" Colette frowned at me. "What?"

Albus had met my eye across the table. He'd picked up on it, too. "Purdue's one of the ones we're sure is working for Stillens, right?" he asked casually.

"Yeah," Colette answered. She frowned at both of us. "Don't you remember?"

I managed to chuckle and shrug. "It's been a long week. Sorry. Continue."

She gave me one more weird look, before turning back to James to keep explaining the story. Meanwhile, Albus and I shared a glance. Purdue was a person. And if Purdue was a person, maybe Hart and Langston were, too. 

~~~~

Question of the Day: What's your most unpopular opinion or headcanon about Harry Potter?

Answer: Mine is that Wolfstar (Remus and Sirius) is not a thing. I'm sorry! I ship Remadora so hard, for one thing, but also I just genuinely love the Marauders' friendships, because I feel like there's not enough representation for deep male friendships. People always see guys being vulnerable and automatically assume that it has to be romantic, but that's not true. Guys can (and should) love their friends deeply, and I adore the Marauders for not just having one friendship, but all four boys being such close friends.

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 7205