~Astra~

Colette convinced Mr. Potter to keep the boggart around for a few days after class. Between classes and Quidditch practice, the two of us would go visit his classroom and pull the trunk to the middle of his room. Then I would sit to the side, working on homework, while Colette stared down our old headmaster. Sometimes it spoke, saying variations of the same thing it had said during class. Sometimes it walked around the room. Sometimes it reached out for her. It never actually touched her, but she still flinched every time.

It always ended the same. Colette would swear in French and say it wasn't working, and I would hop up and force the boggart, now a dementor back into the chest. Sometimes it took five minutes to reach that point. Sometimes, it was closer to an hour. Those longer times got a little bit weird, to be honest. The boggart would get a lot more realistic, saying things that sounded eerily like Welling, using mannerisms and phrases that I hardly remembered him using until I saw the boggart doing it. When it got to that, I would try to step in on my own, but Colette would snap at me to leave her alone, that she almost had it.

She never did.

I knew what she was trying to do, of course. She had been the only person in our class who hadn't been able to trick the boggart, and obviously she wasn't happy about it. I was just worried that she going way too far with this. She'd psyched herself out so much that I wasn't sure she could even cast riddikulus anymore, if she'd tried.

"Colette, are you sure this is working?" I asked on our third day of trying. I had to go soon, because James had managed to squeeze in one more Quidditch practice before the match the next day. I had just forced the boggart back into the chest, and was now sitting on it, hoping she wouldn't try to go again.

Colette glared at me. "What would you know about it?"

"Nothing," I said, shrugging, though that was more to appease her than to be truthful. I felt like I knew quite a bit about boggarts. At least as much as she did. "Just wondering, is all. I'm not sure this is entirely healthy."

Instead of snapping at me, Colette looked down. "It's probably not."

"Then maybe we should stop?" I suggested.

"No!" She rolled her eyes. "I have to do this."

"Why?"

"Because everyone else could." She shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Then explain," I said, frowning. "It sounds like you're just upset that you can't do it."

"So what if I am?"

"It's not the end of the world, Colette." I studied her for a moment. Was the problem that she couldn't do something most people in our year could? Did she think she had something to prove? Just about everyone knew she was incredibly smart, easily the most skilled with the technicalities of magic that no one else understood. "What exactly are you trying to prove with this?"

Colette shrugged. She seemed like she was avoiding my eyes. "Why do you think I'm trying to prove something?"

"Why else would you be doing this?" She didn't answer, and I sighed. "Everyone knows you're really skilled, you know. But everyone struggles with something. No one's perfect at everything, and no one expects you to be."

"That's not what this is," she snapped.

"Then what is it?"

I expected a quick, short-tempered answer, but it didn't come. Instead, she hesitated. Pursed her lips. Stared at the chest underneath me. "I don't know."

I blinked at her. "You don't?"

"I mean, I don't know." She was avoiding my eyes again. "I don't fail at things, Astra. I keep trying until I get it right. But I don't fail. I'm not a failure."

"This doesn't make you a failure," I said quickly. "Just—"

"Yes, it does!" She finally looked up at me. "I'm trying as hard as I can and it's doing nothing."

"That's okay, Colette—"

"It's not." She shook her head. "You wouldn't get it; you're okay with failing at things. I'm not. I can't be."

I wasn't sure if that was an insult or not, but I decided to ignore it. "This isn't the type of thing that trying harder will help you in," I said instead, standing up and walking closer to her. "Most of the things you do are all processes and logic and clear steps, even if they're hard steps. And you keep working until you get it, which works because those are skills you can learn. But this is about your emotions, Colette. It's a lot harder to sort through those."

Colette glanced from me to the chest, then back at me. She looked lost. Not lost as in she wasn't following what I was saying, but lost as in a kid who gets separated from their parents on a train platform. There's people moving all around, but they're all so much taller. It's a whole different world down there, amidst swishing coats and boots and everyone going far too fast. Everything is so jumbled and confused and the kid has no idea what's going on or where to turn or who to ask for help.

"I don't know how to do that," she said softly. "Sort through it."

I smiled a little. "Join the club." Then my smile faded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "I... It was awful. I don't even know how to talk about it, even if I wanted to."

"That's okay." I patted her shoulder, and she raised an eyebrow at me but didn't pull away. "You don't have to know how right now. But when you do, I think it would help. I mean, it helps Wren, doesn't it?"

"I guess so. I'm not Wren."

"I know you're not. I know you've been bottling up your emotions your whole life, and she hasn't." She opened her mouth, and I cut her off. "Yes, I know, it's survival instincts, a coping mechanism, whatever you want to call it. You've had a shit life. I actually, really, do get it. You think I was having a lot of heart to hearts with the Lewises before I came here?"

I paused for an answer, fully aware that I was being slightly dramatic. Colette rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she was smiling faintly. Content, I continued, "I think if I'd tried, they'd have locked me in the basement until I stopped. So I get it. I never talked to anyone about anything before I came here and met Wren and the Potters.

"And then Wren left, and it would've been so easy to shut myself off from everyone. I wanted to. To protect myself. Survival instincts, right? But I didn't do that, because Albus and James were here, and they didn't let me. And I'm so glad they didn't, honestly, because even if I could have handled all that on my own, I didn't want to."

I pursed my lips. I'd lost my point in there somewhere. "Basically, um, you don't have to handle this alone, I guess. We're here for you. I am, for sure, and I know Wren and Al and even James are, too."

Colette was frowning at me. "I don't need anyone."

"No, you don't," I said, though I had my doubts about that. "But we're here anyway."

Her eyes had grown distant. That wasn't what I had expected. She blinked, then blinked again, like she was holding back tears. Maybe she was. She took a deep breath. "But you weren't."

It drove home like a knife, straight into my heart, though for some reason I didn't think she'd meant it to. I opened my mouth to apologize, but she kept talking before I could. "I get it. You thought I was working for Stillens, and I understand that. It's not your fault. But..." She shuddered, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "It was horrible, Astra," she said. "And I was alone."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again, because I had no idea how to respond to that. Colette had closed her eyes, and I got the feeling she was trying to force herself not to cry by sheer will power. I'd never seen her like this before. It was honestly unsettling, and I didn't know what to do, really. I put my hand on her arm. "I'm so, so sorry Colette. We should have been there. We should have listened, believed you. And I can't fix that, but I can promise that I will never leave you alone like that again."

Colette opened her eyes again, and smiled a little. "Thanks," she said softly. I looked down and pretended not to notice as she quickly wiped away a few tears. "I... I think we should be done here, maybe."

"Probably a good idea," I agreed, glancing back at the rattling chest. I waved my wand and sent it flying over to the corner, out of the way. "You're one of the strongest people I know, you know. Who cares if you can trick a boggart or not? You've invented more spells than you learn in a year here."

Colette chuckled, the kind of laugh that happens after you've been crying, halfway back to happy. "Once you're got the basics of spell creation down, it's really not that hard."

"But you've got to get the basics of spell creation down!" I exclaimed. "Which you've done! And I'm sure that was ridiculously hard." She just shrugged and smiled, blushing a little. I was being overly enthusiastic, and she could tell. But it felt like she could also tell that I was just trying to cheer her up, and I thought that maybe it was working.

~~~~

The next morning dawned gray and stormy. As James, Albus, and I crossed the grounds to reach the pitch, we had to hold our hoods to keep them from blowing off in the wind. "Not the best day for catching a Snitch," Albus remarked. I laughed in spite of myself, because that was quite an understatement, but James just pursed his lips together grimly.

Elmer was the only one already in the dressing rooms when we arrived. By the time I changed, though, River, Cedric, and Elcie had all shown up, as well. As I waited for the others, I sat down next to Elmer. He looked a little dejected by himself in the corner, but I figured it was probably just pre-match nerves.

"How's it going?"

Elmer sighed heavily. "My life is a nightmare."

I frowned, not sure if I needed to be concerned or if he was just being incredibly dramatic. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing." He sighed again and looked up. "Just that I'm going to die alone and unloved."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, tilting my head a little. "You have so many friends who love you." He raised an eyebrow at me. Of course, I knew that wasn't what he meant, but it was true and I felt like it was a good thing to remind him off. "Seriously, you're only fifteen, right? You've got your whole life ahead of you, Elmer."

"Life has no meaning if you can't spend it with the one you love."

Okay, enough of the melodramatics. "Is this about Lily?"

Elmer's eyes grew wide. "How did you know?"

"Gosh, I wonder," I said sarcastically. He blinked, looking slightly hurt, and I amended my tone. "Sorry. I just know you don't get over people very quickly."

"Oh. Well, in that case, yes. It's about Lily." He sighed. "It's just hard, you know? She's dated three guys this year, and they've all ended up being bad for her. But I just have to sit there and watch it happen, because she doesn't want to date me right now, since we're Quidditch rivals. And what if she decides she never wants to date me? What do I do then? If we grow up and she moves on and I can't?"

"Well, you cross that bridge when you come to it," I said, shrugging. "There's not much you can do."

"But I'm in love with her, Astra."

"And you were in love with me until a year and a half ago," I pointed out. "The way you feel isn't necessarily permanent. And you're always going to have her as a friend, whatever happens."

Elmer nodded, looking down. "I am glad we're still friends."

"See?" I smiled. "If you guys are meant to be, it'll happen eventually. Waiting a little now won't mess everything up. But if you aren't, I think you'll be able to move on and fall madly in love with someone else."

"I guess you're right," Elmer said, though it didn't seem to cheer him up a lot. He managed a smile, though. James was calling for the team to come together, so I couldn't try to do a better job.

To my surprise, Fred Weasley was seated behind where James was standing. I must have given him an odd look, because he grinned at me. "I'm here to cheer you on!"

James glanced behind him at his cousin, then back at us. "Right, yeah. Fred's here, everyone! So play well! If we beat Slytherin today, it proves I'm a better Quidditch captain than he is."

"What do you mean, if?" River demanded. She leapt to her feet. "We're going to dominate!" This was met with cheers from the rest of us.

James laughed. "My bad, yes. We're going to dominate. Because we're Gryffindors! That's what we do!" Another cheer. "Malfoy's not going to know what hit her!"

"Preferably it won't be a bludger that nearly kills her," Elcie added.

"No bludgers that nearly kill people!" River echoed, to more cheers.

James smiled as we settled down. "Honestly, whatever happens, I'm really glad I got to have you all as my team this year. You're all fantastic, and I know you're going to give it your all today. And that's what counts."

"And victory!" Fred exclaimed.

"Victory!" River yelled, pumping her fist in the air.

James laughed. "Right, obviously, yes. Anyway, let's get out there!"

"Let's try not to break any ribs this year," Albus said as we headed towards the door, nudging Elcie in the side. I almost hit him, but Elcie was laughing along with everyone else. River started chanting, "Don't break a rib! Don't break a rib!" which the boys picked up as we walked out.

"Nervous?" I asked James as we crossed the pitch.

"Can you tell?" James asked, chuckling.

"Not really, but you missed at least seven obvious 'Fred is dating Ciara Malfoy' jokes back there, so I thought that might be why." I smiled as well as I could in the wind. "You've been a great captain. Whatever happens, you were amazing."

"Thanks." James put his arm around my shoulders. "Can you believe it's your last match with me? We've never played a match without each other. What're you going to do when I'm gone next year?"

"Probably curl up in the corner and cry," I said sagely. James rolled his eyes, then hurried over to where Madam Hooch and Ciara were already waiting in the middle of the pitch.

The teams lined up, and I found myself facing one of Ciara's beaters, a seventh year named Mason Kerrigan that I didn't know very well. Within a few seconds, though, Lily Potter had shoved him out of the way and taken his place, pointing him towards the spot I presumed she'd left, across from Albus.

I frowned at her. "Lily?"

"I don't want to see him."

I sighed. James and Albus hadn't been talking to Lily about two weeks ago, because they'd gotten into a fight about the three boyfriends she'd had over the past six months, but I'd assumed they'd gotten over it when I hadn't heard any more about it. "Are you guys still fighting? I thought you got over that?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at me. "James just about called me a slut, and Albus agreed with him. And neither of them have apologized! Forgive me for having some self-respect."

I put my hands up, rolling my eyes. I wasn't sure what 'just about' meant, but I didn't want to get involved in any of it. "Okay, yeah. Sure. That's fair."

Madam Hooch was calling for everyone to mount their brooms, which was a fine distraction.

As predicted, it was hard to see anything in the wind and rain at fifty meters in the air. Not to mention it was freezing. Even with a warming spell, I was still shivering within minutes.

James was doing an excellent job at distracting Ciara. The few times I flew past, him, he was shouting at her about the fact that her "boyfriend" was cheering for the opposing team, and how did that make her feel? Ciara looked like she wanted to murder him, and told her beaters to go a little harder, just to give James something else to do.

Honestly, though, the distractions didn't matter that much, because Slytherin's chasers were playing better than ours. Not that Elmer and Albus and Elcie weren't doing good or working together (though Elmer kept getting distracted whenever Lily flew past him), but a lot of Slytherin's plays were just... better than James's, to be honest. Which kind of made sense, because Ciara and Fred had been matched well as captains last year, and James didn't have exactly the same drive as Fred.

Whatever the case, Slytherin was steadily getting a lead. I needed to catch the snitch soon. If only I could see anything. The only time I'd seen the snitch, Ciara and I both dove towards it, but the wind ripped a banner away form someone just then and the snitch disappeared behind it. We hadn't seen it since.

Ciara flew up next to me as I circled above the game, peering through the rain. "I will give you literally anything if you can make Potter shut up."

I laughed, but quickly grew serious when Ciara shot me a quick glare. "He doesn't listen to me, Ciara. Ask Wren."

"Is Wren here right now?" That was a good point. "Anyway, Wren and James just got over a fight that I'm pretty sure was about me. I'm not going to make her do that again."

"Okay," I said, sighing. "I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll listen to me. You know he's been going on about this for almost a year now, right?"

"I mean, yeah, I know." Ciara glared across the pitch at him. "It's still incredibly irritating."

"If it makes you feel better, no one takes him seriously."

"It doesn't." Ciara suddenly dove, and I followed suit until she pulled up just as quickly, laughing at me. I smiled in spite of myself, shook my head at her, and flew off to tell James to knock it off.

"No!" was his answer. "I'm trying to get in her head! Get her riled up! Make it harder for her to pay attention."

"You're not getting in her head, James. Just annoying her. If you wanted to get in her head, you'd have to say something that's true."

"But it is true!" James flew up a few meters to send a bludger flying back towards the game. "Why else would she be so annoyed?"

"Because you literally haven't shut up about this for a year?" I suggested. "Just lay off. At least save it for after the match. Don't you want your last one to be a fair win?"

James shrugged. "You don't have to believe me, but I don't see why she'd be so uncomfortable about it if it wasn't true." Before I could answer, he flew off to reach a bludger before one of the Slytherin beaters did.

I was shaking my head at him when I saw Ciara diving out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't even sure where she was going, but I dove, too, just in case. It was several seconds of blind flying before I saw a flash of gold halfway across the pitch, floating underneath the stands.

Ciara had a head start on me, but I pressed myself as close to my broom as I could, willing the wind to work in my favor. We both closed in, racing towards the snitch. I was gaining. It looked like we would reach it at the same time from different directions. I tried not to brace myself for a crash, because it would just slow me down.

Suddenly, when we were meters away, the snitch shot directly upward. I met Ciara's eyes; that was a sharp enough angle that I didn't think my broom could handle it without throwing me off (and I wasn't about to visit the hospital wing, with the healer who worked for Caymus Stillens). I pulled to the side, now just focused on not crashing into Ciara.

Ciara didn't pull to the side, though. Instead, she pulled her broom up. My mouth dropped open. She was an idiot. Like, actually. She was going to fall. She couldn't make that. Could she?

Somehow, though, she hung on.

Of course, I followed after her as soon as I could close my mouth, but it was too late, and I knew it. She had at least a five second lead, and was straight above my head. I didn't have the momentum to go straight up, even if I'd wanted to try it, and had to come at it from an angle. I was meters below when I saw her reaching her hand out and grabbing the snitch.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and I dove back down as the Slytherin players realized what had happened and flew over to hug Ciara midair.

Albus landed next to me on the pitch, but he was staring at the Slytherins. "Did I actually see that right?" I nodded, blinking. "That was incredible."

"That was like... a professional Quidditch move."

"Damn," Albus said softly, shaking his head. "I mean, good game. You played really well. She's just... Insane, honestly."

"What, you think I couldn't compete with that?" I asked in mock indignation.

"I mean, you didn't, did you?"

I shoved him, and he started laughing.

Slytherin students were starting to flood the pitch. James made a big deal of shaking Ciara's hand and congratulating her, as well as announcing an end of the Quidditch year party in the Room of Requirement later that evening.

The afternoon ended up being pretty full. Gideon and Vinnie had come to Hogwarts to write a story about the match. They spent nearly an hour interviewing Ciara and James. James asked how this was going to undermine the Ministry, and Vinnie shrugged and said they couldn't have all their articles doing that.

I spent the afternoon assuring everyone that I was genuinely happy for my cousin and didn't mind being shown up. I mean, I was kind of sad that we'd lost, but Quidditch was not my entire world. Was she a better seeker than me? I wouldn't say that, exactly, though Fred did (pretty loudly), and lamented that if she'd only been a Gryffindor, he would've won the Quidditch cup last year. James was quick to jump on that, saying that wouldn't have been Fred's only perk if Ciara had been a Gryffindor. That was met with groans all around.

Around three, James dragged Albus and I down to the kitchen to ask the house elves what they could do for a party. On the way downstairs, James asked if we'd noticed that Fred had disappeared, but when we pressed him he admitted that he'd only been gone for about fifteen minutes, which meant he could have literally just gone to the bathroom, or to say hello to some of his older professors.

The Slytherins were louder than normal at dinner. For once, I didn't look over to see Ciara sitting alone; actually, she seemed like the most popular person alive right then. I couldn't help smiling.

With Albus sitting at the Hufflepuff table, reliving all the day's plays for Poppy and her friends, Wren, Colette, and I were sitting alone. James had found Fred, and they were downstairs in the kitchen, trying to convince the house elves to give them some firewhiskey. Colette had asked why Fred couldn't just go pick some up from Hogsmeade, since he was an adult and didn't even go here, but apparently it was far too close to the party for that.

"Are you going to bust their party for having alcohol?" Colette asked Wren.

She laughed, though it didn't seem like she thought that was funny. "I think James would kill me."

"And?" Colette raised an eyebrow. "You'd let him?"

"I mean, no." Wren frowned. "That's... You know what I meant, Colette."

Colette shrugged, smiling. "Lighten up, Wren. Is everything all right?"

She nodded. "I just don't really want to make him upset right now, is all."

"That's not super healthy," I commented, in as unhelpful of a tone as I could muster. Wren narrowed her eyes at me, which was a nice change of pace from her carefully constructed, neutral, 'Astra's too fragile for me to actually talk to her' look. I felt the need to add, "I mean, James isn't going to break up with you for doing your duties as a prefect, you know."

"I know." Wren sighed. "We just got done fighting about Ciara, though, and I don't want him to be mad at me again."

I hadn't been kept updated on how Wren and James had worked through that, now that I thought about it. Because it had been James being irrationally upset, but knowing Wren, she'd probably apologized and backtracked on everything she'd ever said or thought about Ciara recently. I rolled my eyes. "How'd that go? Did you give in and tell him not to worry, he was right, and he could go on hating my cousin?"

"No," Wren said, sitting back from the table as if she were pulling away from me. "James and I talked, and he came around." She was frowning at me again, but more of an angry frown than disapproving. "Do you really think—"

"Wren," Colette snapped, warningly. Wren glanced at Colette, then cut herself off and simply glared at her plate.

Okay, that wasn't cool. I didn't need a referee to keep Wren Predatel from hurting me. I could handle myself. "No, what were you going to say?"

"It's not important," Colette said.

"How would you know?" I turned back to Wren. "Just say it."

She took a deep breath. "It's all right, Astra. Not a big deal."

"You don't want to tell me because you think I'm going to snap. Like I can't handle criticism? Is that what you think?" I narrowed my eyes, but Wren just stared back at me, clearly annoyed but not moved beyond that. "Or maybe you're just scared that I'm going to get angry with you? Is that it?" She pursed her lips. That was it. "You're scared? Of what? That I can't handle what you're going to say? That you can't handle my reaction?"

"Astra, really, it's fine," she said, closing her eyes.

"I'll decide what's fine for myself, thank you! And this babying me? Not fine. Just because you're too much of a coward to deal with me?"

Wren's eyes opened, but now she was glaring at me. "You know what? Fine. I was going to say, do you think I have so little integrity that I'd throw my friend under the bus to make things right with James? You just assumed I would do that? Honestly, I don't really appreciate that, Astra." She paused, and as much as I wanted to jump in and argue back, no words would come.

"I know you think I'm constantly ruining everything, and you don't want to be around me, but I thought you could at least have enough decency to not assume the absolute worst. I've been trying so hard to be your friend, and to stay by your side, just in case you finally decide that you need someone. And I know everything is really hard right now for you, Astra. God knows, I get it. But that doesn't mean that the things your friends are going through don't matter, and that doesn't mean you can just walk all over me and Albus and Colette and James and expect us to bounce right back and be your happy, loyal friends again and never get upset with you. You're being really selfish, Astra. And I know why you're being selfish, and I know it's hard, but at some point you have to accept responsibility for the things you're doing and at least make an effort to be a decent person."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I was being selfish? That wasn't fair! How dare she say that! Didn't she know how hard everything was? I was trying, and if they didn't want to be around me, fine. They could leave. I wasn't making anyone stick around who didn't want to be near me. Wren could just go hang out with her prefect friends and leave me alone. She didn't have to be so insulting about it. "Okay, you know—"

Wren cut me off. "I'm sorry, Astra." She stood up. "Well, not for what I said. It needed to be said. But I can't handle this right now. I'm sorry. You can yell at me tomorrow, but I really don't want to hear it tonight." Before I could say anything, she'd turned and hurried off.

I watched her go until she disappeared behind the doors. That... Had she really just walked away from me? The nerve. That was so... so rude? She got to tear me to pieces, but the second I opened my mouth she ran away? And she didn't even know how I was going to respond, though I had to admit I was definitely going to yell at her. How was I the selfish one here?

The twinge in my stomach didn't help. The quiet little voice that told me she was right, I was being incredibly selfish, even more so right now. It just made me more angry.

"What's her problem?" I asked, glancing at Colette. I was surprised to see her not angry, but just shocked. She gave me a very careful look.

"I don't know, Astra."

"That was really rude."

"Sure." Colette nodded. "All right."

"Excuse me?"

Colette closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't know, okay?" That was all she would say. I just huffed and left after a few minutes, determined to ignore Wren for the rest of my life and enjoy this party as spitefully as I could.

The best way to spite someone at a party is to hang out with their boyfriend so they can't. I made a point to help James and Fred set up the firewhiskey before Fred made an age line around it (the house elves had insisted; they hadn't thought older students would simply grab drinks for their younger friends, I'm sure), then hung around by James as the room of requirement filled up. I mean, I had a good excuse, since we were both on the Quidditch team and people kept coming up to either tell us they'd been hoping we would win, or ask if we felt terrible about having lost to Ciara's team once again.

Albus and Poppy came over to us after a while. "Where's Wren?" Poppy asked.

"I don't know," James answered, glancing around the room. He suddenly seemed worried. "I haven't actually seen her much."

I knew exactly where Wren was, because I'd been watching her seem to take no notice of me for nearly half an hour. Right then, I could see her across the room with Ciara and Lily.

"Oh, well, I'll go find her," Poppy said, smiling. "I'll tell her that you're simply dying over here without her." With that, she disappeared into the crowd.

Albus glanced around the room. "This is honestly almost as cool as that party Fred threw fourth year after the tournament with Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Good job, James."

"What do you mean, almost?" James asked. "We have firewhiskey!"

Albus chuckled. "I'm taking points from every underage kid I see drinking any. It's a lot more fun than getting drunk. Is that all this party is an excuse for, by the way?"

"What? No." James rolled his eyes. "Just wanted to promote House unity. That's all."

"Oh please, James," I said, rolling my eyes. "We all know you only suggested a party because you wanted to see Fred and Ciara in the same room."

James shook his head. "Not true! Parties are just fun."

"Right, and Stillens is just a rude guy," Albus said, rolling his eyes.

James just laughed and took a sip of his drink. "You know, though, while we're on the topic, I'd like to know where Fred disappeared to for three hours this afternoon?" he wondered. "Something tells me there was a Slytherin Quidditch captain involved..."

Before I could say anything, Ciara herself suddenly pushed through the crowd and stopped right in front of the Potters. I was surprised enough that I didn't try to pull her back, but if she'd just heard James and was finally going to confront him, now probably wasn't the best time.

But Lily was with her, for some reason. Wait, I had seen them together with Wren, a few minutes before. Was that normal? Did Lily and Ciara hang out? And why were they here? I frowned as Ciara snapped, "Apologize. Stop being prats."

James and Albus exchanged a confused look. "What are you talking about?" James asked defensively. "Get out of my face, Malfoy."

Ciara took a step back, then gestured to Lily. "Just grow up and apologize already," she told him. "I'm getting tired of hearing Lily talk about how she hates you two."

Albus blinked at her. "You hate us?"

"You called me a slut!"

"I did not say that!" James exclaimed. "I mean, yeah, I said that she should consider what people might think, but that's totally different!"

"No, it's not!" Lily exclaimed.

Ciara sighed. "Whatever it was, it wasn't very kind, and you shouldn't have said it to your little sister, of all people."

James and Albus glanced at each other again. I couldn't tell if they agreed or not. After a moment of neither of them speaking, Lily rolled her eyes. "I told you they wouldn't. Because they're prats, and I hate them."

She turned to leave, but James held his hand up. "Wait, Lils, I'm sorry." He sighed. "I really shouldn't have said that. I didn't really know how to react to all that, is all."

"I'm sorry, too," Albus said. "We should be more supportive of you. The problem isn't you. It's that the guys you've dated have all turned out to be horrible, and we didn't even know it was going on, and we got protective. I'm sorry."

Lily blinked; I got the feeling she hadn't expected that to be that easy or genuine. "Oh. Well. I can handle myself, you know."

"Well, duh," James said, rolling his eyes. "You're a Potter, aren't you?" Lily smiled, and James did, too. "Will you forgive us?"

She considered it a moment, then shrugged. "I guess so."

"See, that wasn't so hard," Ciara said, patting Lily's arm. "Now, can you please let me enjoy this party?"

"Only if Elmer doesn't come up and try to get back together." Lily laughed.

I glanced at James and Albus, still confused. They finally seemed to have registered this oddness, too. Albus appeared intrigued, but but James...

"Since when are you friends with Malfoy?" James asked, making a face. I raised an eyebrow, and he put his hands up. "It's just a question!"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. A while. She's much better with boy stuff than any of your friends."

"Excuse me?" I narrowed my eyes at her, though I was half joking.

"No offense meant, Astra." Lily smiled like she absolutely meant to offend. "Seriously, though, it's not like any of you have dated outside your House. It complicates things."

I glanced at Ciara, confused. "Has she dated outside Slytherin?" Or dated anyone, for that matter? I hadn't thought she counted Nico, but he wasn't outside of Slytherin, anyway. 

"Oh, yeah, of course!" Lily said, as if it everyone knew that. "And she helped me out when Elmer and I were trying to figure things out before we broke up, and you know what? She was right. If Elmer and I want to date, we should wait till after we're done playing Quidditch against each other."

James raised an eyebrow. "That's oddly specific advice, Malfoy. Almost makes it seem like you have personal experience."

Ciara opened her mouth to refute that, but Lily kept talking first. "Of course she does."

We all glanced at Lily, blinking in surprise. She did? She... Wait...

Suddenly, James started pumping his fist. "I knew it!"

Ciara hadn't looked away from Lily. She wasn't glaring at her, but her stare was very intense. Almost like...

"You're dating Fred!"

Ciara slowly turned to James. "Shut up." Instead of being angry, her voice was deathly quiet. Serious.

"I was right!" James grinned. "I told you all, and no one believed me!"

"Shut up!" James did, but the smug smile stayed on his mouth.

Ciara was staring at him, fist clenched. She might have been about to punch him. This wasn't even his worst. He'd been so much more annoying during the match. I blinked. She wasn't actually...

"If he wanted you to know, he would have told you."

James's smile melted and his mouth dropped open. "Wait, no way."

"I'm being serious, James. Please don't tell anyone."

"You're..." James blinked. "Oh my goodness."

Ciara closed her eyes tightly. "Fred's going to kill me."

"How long?"

Ciara didn't answer, so Lily said, "Almost a year."

"Lily!"

"Sorry..."

"Really?" James grinned. "I've been right this whole time, and no one's believed me!"

Ciara glanced up quickly, eyes wide, urgent. "You can't tell anyone, James." I don't think I'd ever heard her use his first name before. "I'm serious. Please."

"Why?" James grew serious. Ciara was breathing quickly, getting upset. "Hang on, is he the reason you two've kept this a secret?" She nodded. He rolled his eyes. "That son of a bitch... Why?"

She looked down, her voice growing softer. "I... I don't think he wants his parents to know."

Oh, that was... actually kind of terrible of him? Was he embarrassed? I understood maybe not advertising it here last year, because that would've been a hit to both of their prides to admit they'd started dating their rival. But his own parents? I pursed my lips. "But if it's been this long..."

"I don't know, Astra," Ciara snapped. Then she shook her head. "Sorry. We don't talk about that much."

James was frowning into the distance, but he looked up at me then. "Astra, I think we should go speak to my cousin."

"Don't," Ciara said quickly.

"He won't get mad at you," I assured her. "Don't worry." Before she could argue, I slipped off to confront Fred.

Fred was across the room, watching in amazement as River hooked up a muggle sound system to a CD player. Just as she started to blast a muggle pop song from a few years ago, James and I pulled him to the side. "We need to talk," James said, his tone serious enough that Fred didn't argue as we pulled him out into the hallway.

Fred raised an eyebrow at us as the door swung closed behind us and the music and noise of the party died instantly. "Is something wrong? Here to admit I'm the best Quidditch captain Gryffindor's ever had?"

"At least you were a better Quidditch captain than boyfriend," I snapped.

Fred frowned. "I... What are you talking about?"

"Either tell your parents you're dating my cousin, or break up with her," I said, crossing my arms. "I'm not going to sit here and let you lead her on."

For a moment, Fred just stared at me. Then he started laughing a little, uncomfortably. "James finally got to you, did he?"

"No," James said, his mouth a hard line. "Ciara told us. I'm not joking around anymore."

Fred glanced at me, then at James. "I... You..." He scowled. "Why did she tell you? What was she thinking?"

"Don't you dare go get mad at her," I snapped. "We should've all known a long time ago."

Again, he glanced back and forth between us. Eventually, he sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Okay. Fine. You've been right, James. I don't see why you're so upset about it."

"Because you're being a prat?" James suggested. "Why haven't you told your parents about it? She said it's been nearly a year."

"I... I don't know..." Fred squeezed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "My parents hate ex-Death Eater families. You know that. Dad still sometimes says stuff about how he can't believe Uncle Ron's letting Rose date that Malfoy kid. I can't imagine what he'd do if I told him I was dating the other Malfoy kid."

"Well, you're going to have to," I said, completely aware that I was being unfeeling and for once not experiencing the twinge of my conscience in response. "Either start acting like an adult, or break up with Ciara."

"I don't want to break up with her!" he exclaimed.

"Then act like an adult," James said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not going to let you break my cousin's heart anymore than you already will be doing now," I added. "Either break up, tell your parents, or I'll convince her to dump you."

Fred's eyes grew wide. "Don't do that!"

James sighed and put his hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Fred, we're on your side here. I've been cheering this on for a whole year, and I didn't even really know it was happening. We want it all to work out. But you're going to have to do something uncomfortable and just trust that your parents love you enough to accept your decisions."

"What if they don't?"

I glanced at James. "Well," I said, "I guess you'll have to choose."

Fred stared at us. I could see a crisis clearly written across his face. And, honestly, I guess it was a lot to worry about. I mean, his parents were being completely unfair in their hatred of the Malfoys, but Fred was just caught in the middle of it. The thing was, I'd met his parents a few times, and really didn't think they were the type to disown their child over him dating Ciara Malfoy.

"Well, all right then," Fred said. I realized the crisis had been replaced by a look of determination. Before I could ask him what he was thinking, he turned and marched back into the party.

I glanced at James, a little worried. The ideal solution was "he agrees to talk to his parents later," which didn't seem to be the one he was going for. Had he decided to break up with her? Was he going to do it now? Without pausing to discuss, James and I hurried after him.

We caught up to him as he reached Ciara. She was standing with Wren and Poppy, who were laughing about something. Ciara simply looked a little sick. Even more so when Fred grabbed her hand and turned towards the center of the room.

"Hey!" he shouted. "I have an announcement!"

The music stopped abruptly, as River was close enough to hear him shouting. In the absence of noise, people started to turn towards the culprit, who had pulled Ciara over to a table, climbed onto it, and was now offering her a hand up.

Ciara gave him a wary look. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make something right," he said. "Just trust me."

Ciara pursed her lips, but took his hand and stepped up onto the table, as well.

Now, Fred turned to survey the room. "I have an announcement," he repeated. People had started to whisper (I mean, Fred Weasley was holding Ciara Malfoy's hand), but the room grew silent now.

Fred took a deep breath. "I just wanted everyone to know how proud I am that my girlfriend has won the Quidditch cup twice in a row now," he said. Before anyone could even comprehend that, he kissed her. And the room exploded.

I could hardly understand anything anyone was saying, because everyone was talking at once. Most of it was shock, or confusion, or excitement, or people exclaiming that they couldn't believe they'd bet James Potter 10 galleons this wasn't possible. I pushed through the crowd towards the table that Fred and Ciara were still standing on.

Ciara's face was completely red, but she was beaming. I could barely hear Fred asking if that could make up for him being the worst. In answer, she pulled him back in for another kiss, which very quickly turned into snogging.

At that point, I patted her leg until she finally pulled away to look down at me. "Get a room," I said, laughing. "There are so many people here."

They both blushed, and hopped down. Fred was immediately accosted by about a dozen seventh years (led by his very confused sister), and I pulled Ciara out of the way.

I wasn't fast enough. I saw Ciara wince as Roxanne's voice exclaimed, "Are you insane? A Malfoy?"

"Hey, it's going to be all right," I said, smiling.

We turned to survey the absolute madness that the room had descended into. Most of it was centered around Fred. People couldn't tell if this was a prank or not, it seemed, though I didn't see why anyone would willingly snog someone else for a prank.

"Everything's about to change," Ciara mused.

"Yeah. His parents will come around, though."

"I hope so." Ciara glanced at me sideways. "I know you don't deal with it a lot, but there are a lot of people who hear the name Malfoy and write me off immediately."

"The Weasleys aren't like that."

"They have been." Ciara shrugged. "I mean, I've been wanting this to not be a secret for a long time. It's just weird now that it's not. I don't really know what to expect."

"It probably won't be easy, but I think it will get easier," I said.

Ciara nodded. "Hopefully."

We watched the crowd for a few moments. Fred was trying to get away from it, completely unsuccessfully. I had no sympathy; it was a little funny, actually. Across the room, James had pulled out a very long sheet of paper, and seemed to be collecting money from half of the student population. No one had seen this coming, it seemed. The safest bet of the century had just turned out to be a loss.

"How did this happen, anyway?" I asked. "You and Fred?"

Ciara shrugged, her cheeks flushing red. "Well... do you remember the night Elcie got hurt and the Quidditch match got postponed last year? Fred and I ended up talking in the hospital wing, somehow. I still don't know why that happened. But... well, one thing led to another, and eventually we were snogging in an unused classroom. And that would've just been a regrettable mistake, and we had decided it was, but..." She shrugged. "It happened again. And again. And when you've snogged someone four times in three weeks and haven't talked about it it's clear something has to be done. So after the rematch, we decided we would keep things a secret but see where it went. I didn't think it would actually get serious. I don't think he did, either. But here we are."

"Wild," I said, smiling.

"Right?" Ciara chuckled. "Who would've thought?"

"James."

"But he's an idiot, so he doesn't count."

I conceded that was a fair point. Fred had finally extracted himself from the majority of the people flocking around him, and was now dragging his very skeptical-looking sister over to us. I squeezed Ciara's arm, then slipped away to let them deal with that on their own. I'd had enough for one night.

~~~~

Darkness. Everywhere I looked, darkness.

But it wasn't all the same exact darkness. It was shifting, surrounding me, parting and clouding over. I couldn't see anything. But I was running. Yes, I was running.

I could hear something. Someone? Yes, someone. Screaming like they were being hurt. I'd heard that before.

"Astra!"

It was Wren. I felt my heart stop for a moment. "Wren! Wren, where are you?"

"Run!"

I turned towards where her voice was coming from, but it was everywhere. All around me. Just like the darkness. Wren, calling my name, obviously hurt, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help her. I could just run into more darkness.

I sat up in my bed, breathing heavily. That...  that was a normal nightmare, wasn't it? Not a real dream. Not the inner eye or whatever. It hadn't felt real. But it also hadn't felt fake. And it wasn't going away.

I blinked, and there were tears in my eyes. Was something going to happen to Wren? I glanced over at her bed, but she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. That was good. She was safe right now.

And I was treating her horribly. All the time. She was right, she was so right, I was so selfish, and now something might happen to her and I was so caught up in all these small, petty things that didn't matter and missing the point that Wren was still here, despite all my attempts to push her away. I didn't even know why I was pushing her away, to be honest. I certainly didn't know why she'd stuck around.

Oh Merlin, I was so horribly selfish.

I was crying now. I couldn't help it. She was right. I'd been being horrible to everyone lately and blaming it on the fact that I was struggling. And I was. But that didn't give me an excuse to be such a prat. I was angry that my friends were walking on eggshells around me, but if they didn't, I would get just as upset.

Without really thinking about it, I got out of bed and crossed the two meters between my bed and Wren's. "Wren," I whispered.

She started awake, then started again when she saw I was the one who had woken her up. She sat up quickly, blinking away sleep. "Astra? Is everything all right?"

I shook my head. "I'm so sorry. You were right."

"I... what?"

Instead of answering, I sat down on the edge of her bed and hugged her. "I'm sorry I've been such a horrible friend lately. You deserve so much better."

"I definitely don't," she said, her voice muffled in my hair. I pulled back to see her staring at me, almost in disbelief. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have said all of that."

"No, you should have. I have been being selfish. But that doesn't matter. I had a dream, and it was really odd, and I'm worried."

Wren sat up straighter. "What kind of dream?"

"I'm not sure. It didn't feel like a normal nightmare. But it wasn't very realistic." I bit my lip. "You were in it."

The color drained out of her face. "What happened?"

"I don't really know. I could only hear you. You sounded like you were being hurt, and you were calling my name, and telling me to run."

I could see the wheels turning in her head, but had no idea what was actually going on in there. She took a few moments to look back at me. "Well... Um... I'm sure it will be all right."

She was trying to be optimistic for my sake. I didn't feel angry at all, to my relief. It was really sweet, to be honest; if I'd been in her position I would have been crying and terrified.

"The future isn't set in stone," Wren said slowly. "And for all you know, that could have been a dream of something that already happened, anyway. Goodness knows I've said all of those things before."

The corner of my mouth turned up. "Maybe."

"In any case, we can't do anything about it, can we?" Wren asked.

"I don't think so."

She smiled. "I guess we'll just have to be prepared."

I hugged her again. "I love you. I'm so sorry."

"I love you, too," she whispered. "Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep?"

I stifled a laugh. "Probably not."

She hesitated, then asked, "Would it help if you slept here?"

I climbed underneath the blankets. We fell asleep within minutes, side by side, like we were children again.

~~~~

For once, this chapter wasn't late because I was procrastinating, but because I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. Which is kind of odd, because this reveal isn't super relevant plot-wise (yet), but like... Everyone's been waiting for this for forever, really. I wanted it to be just right, which turned into a ridiculously long chapter. Sorry for the wait, but I hope you can forgive me because I finally made Friara canon.

Question of the Day: Hehe what do you think of Friara?

Answer: I mean obviously I am a fan or I wouldn't have gone out of my way to make it happen. It fulfills my enemies-to-lovers quota without me having to do backflips to avoid being problematic.

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Words count: about 8700 without the author's note...