~Astra~

Dear Father,

Well, Albus and Wren don't hate me anymore. Unfortunately, what brought us back together was another episode. I didn't break my arm this time, at least. I just threw a trash bin across a classroom at a teacher.

Mr. Potter is worried, which makes me worried. What's worse is I dreamed about it before. That's the second time it's happened. I've had three dreams like this, though. We're all scared it's going to happen again.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared.

Love, Astra

~~~~

So, someone could control my every move if they chose to, but it seemed to be only what I saw in my dreams. I could try to avoid it by not learning the spell I'd dreamed about, but I didn't see how that would help. If it was the Imperius curse, or something similar, it apparently didn't matter if I knew the spell or not.

Basically, I was screwed.

I couldn't spiral again. Wren said that's what Stillens wanted. He wanted me to get depressed and moody, just to validate the rumors going around that I wasn't stable. As if throwing a trash bin at poor Professor Edwards wasn't enough. When people asked about it, I brushed it off as a joke. I hadn't tried to hurt her or anything. It had just been a prank I hadn't thought out too well. That seemed enough for most of the people I talked to regularly.

On the bright side, Wren and Albus didn't hate me. They really didn't. I can't explain how happy I was to sit with them during classes again, to not be alone during the free period after Care of Magical Creatures anymore, to have them back.

I was most thankful for it in Potions and Herbology, the classes Colette didn't take. Scorpius didn't mind me sitting with him, but it wasn't the same. I was more than happy to move back to my old seat. Besides, me moving back gave Albus an excuse to sit next to Poppy.

In other good news, Trelawney had decided I was far too advanced for her N.E.W.T.-level class, and had determined to give me private lessons. I was glad (Divination was an incredibly pretentious class, and I hated it), even if that meant I had to spend two hours alone with Trelawney every week. Most of that time was spent learning how to use different ways of divination, like tarot cards or crystal balls or tea leaves, though Trelawney also spent hours making me go over every detail of every dream I'd had in the past few months, especially the ones about myself.

After my third private lesson, Albus and Poppy were waiting for me at the bottom of Trelawney's tower. They both seemed excited, and I raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"We went with Clarissa and Lily to talk to Kimmel about intramural quidditch teams!" Poppy exclaimed. "She said it sounded like a good idea, if we were willing to do the work ourselves!"

Albus nodded. "Madam Hooch said she'd help a little, if we needed it, but really I think we'll be fine as long as we can train people how to play!"

I grinned. "That's awesome!"

"We put a sign up sheet in the entrance hall," Poppy explained. "Anyone who wants to join, can."

"Except we made an executive decision that anyone already on a House team can't actually play," Albus explained, "just so more people get a chance to. But we're going to coach!"

"This is going to be great!" I exclaimed.

Albus had to patrol that night. We made plans for intramural quidditch and played wizard's chess until then, with me mainly watching because they both beat me every time I played. Albus did at least let me win once (followed by a crushing defeat from Poppy). He denied it, of course, saying I'd won fair and square, but we both knew I was as hopeless at chess as we were at history of magic.

After Albus left to walk Poppy back to her common room and meet Scorpius for patrolling, I moved over to sit by Wren. She was curled up in a window seat, reading her history of magic textbook. Definitely the picture of lonely desperation. I sat down in the other end of the window seat and glanced around the room. "How's it going?"

Wren glanced up from her book and shrugged. "All right, I guess."

James was across the room, trying once again to act like everything was fine, as if he could try hard enough and make it so. "You should go talk to him."

"Talk to who?" Wren asked, though she'd tensed up a bit.

"James."

Wren shook her head, sighing. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I mean, look at him," she said, gesturing across the common room. James was laughing loudly (too loudly) at a joke Roxanne had just told. "I think it might be better this way, for him. Not having to get so caught up in what happens to me."

I rolled my eyes. "You're kidding, right?"

Wren frowned, then slowly shook her head. "No, I'm not."

"You're..." I stared at her for a moment. "Can you not tell how fake that is? The act he's putting on right now?"

Wren glanced in that direction again. If she could tell, she didn't show any sign of it. "He's trying to move on. I'm glad. He can do a lot better, and this way he'll probably be safer, anyway."

I blinked, at a loss for a moment. How had I not realized how similar these two were? Well, they weren't that similar in the way they acted, I supposed, but their priorities were identical. The very first thing they were both concerned with was protecting the other. "How are you both such dense, self-sacrificial idiots?"

"What?"

"That's exactly what James said when I tried to tell him to talk to you, you know."

Wren blinked. "He... he really think he's better off without me?" Apparently, part of her had never believed her own words. 

I rolled my eyes. "No! Of course not. He thinks you're better off without him."

Wren blinked again. "Oh. Oh." She glanced at me, then at James, then back at me. 

"Please talk to him, Wren. You're both so miserable and it's horrible."

Wren took a breath, and nodded. "Okay. I..." Before she could finish her thought, though, her expression shifted. Her face got a hint paler, and her hand went to her pocket.

I mentally cursed Stillens' horrible timing. "Is that you bloody coin?"

She nodded, sneakily pulling it out of her pocket. "I've got to go."

"Talk to James soon, please. I promise, he doesn't think he's better off without you, Wren."

"Are you sure?" she asked, standing up.

"Positive. He's miserable. He's just making more of an effort to hide it than you are."

Wren gave me a half-hearted smile. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow, I guess. I've really got to go, though. Can you make an excuse if anyone asks?"

"You're at the library," I said with a wink. "Good luck, and stay safe."

She nodded, her smile worried now. For a moment, I thought she would say something else, but she didn't, just hurried off towards the portrait hole.

After a while, I wandered over to where James, Roxanne, and Colin were sitting. They were talking about something that had happened in their Herbology class that day, and I caught sight of a bottle of firewhiskey half hidden behind the pillow Roxanne was leaning against. That might've explained why they were all laughing so loudly. James did seem a little too cheerful. He grinned and hopped up when he saw me. "Astra! Where have you been?"

"On the other side of the room," I said, frowning. "Are you okay?"

Roxanne pushed the bottle down even further. "He's fine. Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. He seems... happier than he's been lately?"

"Is that bad?" Colin asked, his speech slurring a little.

"Of course not," I said quickly. "I was just wondering why."

James grinned. "Of course I am! I'm moving on!"

I raised an eyebrow. "You're drunk, James."

"What? No I'm not."

"We're not allowed to drink, Astra," Roxanne said, rolling her eyes. "How would we even get firewhiskey?"

"I never mentioned firewhiskey," I pointed out.

The three exchanged a glance. "Don't tell my dad," James said after a minute.

"Uncle Harry would kill us," Roxanne agreed.

"Better be sober by the time Albus gets back, because he'll take points from Gryffindor and tell your dad," I said.

James winced. "Okay, well, we'll worry about that later. We're all happy now!" Roxanne and Colin nodded in agreement.

I didn't believe that for an instant. In fact, I was worried now. James bent the rules, sure, but he'd never tried to drown his sorrows in alcohol before. It was getting really bad if he was turning to this.

Before my thoughts could finish developing, James put a hand up. "I'm going to do it!"

"Do what?" I asked. I got ignored.

"Yay, James!" Roxanne said, pumping her fist. "Yeah, you are!"

"Go get it, mate!" Colin exclaimed.

James nodded, then walked over to where Mackenzie was sitting. I groaned and followed him. This wasn't going to be good.

"Hello there, beautiful," James said.

Mackenzie frowned at him. "Can I help you, James?"

"Just wanted to tell you how stunning you look tonight," he said, sitting down next to her.

Mackenzie leaned away from him. "James, are you drunk?"

"No," he said.

"I can smell it, dimwit."

"That doesn't matter," he said. "It doesn't change my feelings for you."

Mackenzie blinked at him, then glanced at me. She seemed wary now. "What are you talking about?"

"I still love you," he said, scooting closer to her.

Mackenzie shook her head. "No, you don't."

"I do."

She stood up. "Stop it, James. You definitely don't."

He stood up, as well. "You don't know that! I love you."

She slapped him. "Get a hold of yourself, James!" He blinked at her, his smile gone. "You don't," Mackenzie said after a minute. "Want to know how I know that? You're drunk, for one thing, but you also have a girlfriend that I know you adore. And I know that because there's only one reason you'd be crawling back to me, no matter how amazing I am: to distract yourself." She shook her head. "Sober up, James, and don't do something you'll regret."

She turned and walked away, and James stood there for a moment, watching her go. Then he turned to me. He looked like he was about to cry all of the sudden. "I can't do this anymore."

"It's okay," I said quickly, hugging him. "It's all right."

"It's not," he said. I could feel him crying, tears making my hair wet. "I can't do this anymore."

I caught Colette's eye from across the room and motioned her over. She rolled her eyes, but hurried over all the same. "What?"

"Do you have any spells that can make him not so drunk?"

"A few," she said, shrugging.

I blinked. "Wait, really? Why?"

"Don't question me." She made James sit down, then waved her wand in his face and muttered some things I couldn't hear. Within a few moments, his cloudy eyes had cleared up.

"Didn't get the alcohol out of his bloodstream, obviously, but I cleared his head," Colette explained. "You might want some coffee, James."

James nodded. "That sounds nice."

"And maybe do you want to sit in the corner?" I asked. "Talk?"

He nodded again. "That sounds nice, too."

We sat at the corner table while Colette summoned some coffee from the kitchen. James downed the whole thing in silence. It was better than crying, I guess, but not super helpful. Finally, I sighed. "Why'd you try to hit up Mackenzie?"

"I don't know," James said, shrugging. "I guess I just wanted the pain to stop. Why does it still hurt?"

Colette sighed. "When you lose someone you love, it doesn't ever stop hurting."

He sighed. "I can't run away from my problems anymore. I... I guess Mackenzie finally made me realize I just need to fix this. I don't know what I've been waiting for."

I groaned. "Of all the nights, you had to pick tonight."

"What?"

"She's gone," I explained. "She had to go report."

He pursed his lips. "I guess I'll wait, then."

"She's normally back around one," Colette offered.

James nodded. "So I've got about two hours to figure out what I'm going to say."

I'd never seen him work so hard at something in my life. He got out a parchment and quill and wrote out a whole speech, then revised it so much there wasn't a clear space left.  Eventually, everyone drifted upstairs until James and I were the only ones in the common room.

He groaned and put his head on the table. "I'm useless at this."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked. "Just the general ideas."

"Just that... I'm really sorry, I suppose. I want her to be able to trust me, and I want to do everything to be someone she can trust."

I nodded. "That's a good start. Maybe... maybe give her a deal, of sorts. Ask her to let you know when she's about to tell you something that might make you mad, maybe, and give you a chance to prepare for it. Just so you can be there for her, instead of getting angry. Get angry on your own time, Jamie. The most important thing is to be there for Wren."

He nodded, looking down. "I can do that. I can try, at least."

I smiled. "I know you can."

"Am I strong enough to? I have a hard time controlling myself. Everyone knows that."

"You're so much better than you used to be," I pointed out. "This is a process, James. It takes time. You can't just snap your fingers and wish your problems away. You'll probably make mistakes, but you'll be trying. I think Wren will see that, too."

He sighed. "What if she doesn't want to?"

"She does. Trust me, she does."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I actually was talking to her earlier, you know. She's as upset about all of this as you are."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"She cares so much about you, James. You're both trying too hard to protect each other without really asking the other how they'd like to be protected."

He tilted his head. "I've never thought about it that way."

"Well, now you have." I yawned, and glanced at my watch. "It's past one."

"I thought she was normally back by now."

I shrugged. "She's fine, I'm sure. Maybe Stillens had a lot to say." I yawned again. "I think I'm going to head up to bed. Good luck."

"Thanks," he said, smiling tiredly. "I need it."

~~~~

Question of the Day: What are your thoughts on Wrames? Should they get back together? Are you happy they broke up, or sad?

Answer: I'm sure everyone is aware that I think Wrames is the absolute cutest thing I've ever made. However, I am not known for keeping cute things around for the sake of cuteness. Will Wren and James get back together? Who knows...

Vote and comment!

~Elli