List of Nicknames, please circle the ones you like and send them back so we can coordinate this better:

Mine- Alphard Junior (AJ), Milky (even better than the brightest star), Knight (Sir Knight if we're being formal)

5

You're all arseholes.

Sincerely, you don't deserve this anymore

September 1st- 1975

James, Sirius, and Peter met up on the platform, found themselves a private carriage, and had already loaded their stuff before beginning to wonder where their friend was. As the clock drew nearer to departure time, they began to truly feel worried, but with five minutes to spare they finally spotted him.

He was trudging towards them, his trunk dragging behind him in one hand, and he was clutching something in the other very tightly. They all felt an instant of relief, until they got a good look at his face. He seemed paler than usual, which was saying something since Remus always looked a little sickly. His hand that wasn't clutching his trunk was shaking, and when he finally made it over to them, he said in a high forced jaunty voice, "Morning. Ready to get then?" He wouldn't look any of them in the eye.

All three of them had to help him with his trunk, since he wouldn't release his other hand from a fist the entire time. Only when they had safely stowed the luggage away did they drag him into their compartment and demand to know what was wrong with him.

He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. As the whistle blew outside, they all jerked slightly, and Remus worst of all. His knee's were shaking so badly, instead of trying to catch himself, he landed hard in one of the seats, both hands now clutching whatever was in his fist.

After gaining himself back, James was the first to recover, and folded his arms across his chest, giving his friend a stern look while standing in front of him and saying, "Remus, you're starting to scare us. What has gotten into you?"

He gave them all a pleading look, as if fearing at any moment they were all going to start shouting at him. In answer though, he slowly extended his hand to them, and turned it palm up so they could see the Prefect badge gleaming.

There was silence for so long that the station had long been out of sight before Sirius cracked up laughing. Then they all were, Remus finally joining in when he realized his friends weren't going to kick him out for this. His irrational fear that they wouldn't want him around anymore because he was now the kid that the Marauders tried to avoid.

"I forgot all about those," Peter wheezed as he slumped down beside him.

"I sure didn't," Sirius rolled his eyes as he rubbed at his shoulder. "Honestly, my money was on Remus anyways, he's always the one telling us not to get into trouble."

"As if it ever works," James rolled his eyes.

They were interrupted by Atria arriving, her eyes lighting on Peter as she greeted him, before she turned to Remus and said, "they can't start until we're all there."

"Oh, right," he startled to his feet in surprise and took off with her, waving over his shoulder still smiling.

"Doofus," James was still chuckling as he collapsed into his own seat. "So how was Africa?" He demanded of Sirius.

He regretted asking at once, Sirius' face clouded over with a delirious looking dream like quality, but listening to him rhapsodize about some girl he'd swear was a veela was at least slightly better than his usual foul mood coming back from that place.

"Did your parents ever get around to telling you the point of that trip?" Peter finally interrupted as he tried going into a more detailed account of what they'd gotten up to in their spare time.

"Nah, and I didn't ask," Sirius huffed. "Got some practice done too though, think I've just got seven joints in my neck and the head to go!" He finished cheerfully.

"Lucky!" Peter snapped, "I couldn't practice at all."

"Oh yeah, I always forget you aren't technically supposed to do magic over the summer," Sirius grinned.

"I didn't do much better," James sighed, "my parents were weirdly hovery the whole time, couldn't sneeze without them freaking out over me."

"Let's hope they don't try pulling you from school," Peter said grimly.

"What?" Sirius asked in surprise, stopping from getting to his feet and going back for his trunk.

"Aubrey's not here," Peter sighed. "She's got an aunt who went missing just last week and her parents are freaking out."

"But the Nobles came back!" James protested, "I saw them getting on the train."

Peter just shrugged, and Sirius broke the silence by trying to translate some joke he'd heard, accent and all, while finally pulling a small box and a lighter from his things.

The image on it had the other two actually laughing at his choice in souvenir, until he started smacking the box, upside down, on the palm of his hand, and flicked it open right side up once more to pull out a cigarette.

"Oh Sirius, you're not-" Peter sighed.

Too late, he'd already cracked open the window while lighting it up, exhaling the smoke with a smug expression.

"I'm glad you took my suggestion to find a way to make that memory a good thing Sirius, I really am," James groaned, "but that's not what I meant."

"I still don't think gassing the whole Slytherin common room is a better idea," Peter muttered.

"They taste awful," Sirius shrugged, ignoring them both, "but you get over that quick enough," as he flicked ashes off the end.

"Can I try one?" Peter asked curiously as he barely coughed now, the smell already hovering in the air despite the wind whipping about. It was an acrid, dry sort of thing with an odd bit of cloves on the end, sort of reminding him of potions class.

"No," Sirius snapped with an eye roll.

"Just promise me this is a phase Sirius," James pleaded, "I don't want Vosper catching wind of this and going on a health kick again, remember when he tried to convince the house-elves to ban dessert from us last year?"

"It didn't work," Sirius scoffed, "and relax, Madam Pomfrey fixed my lungs up fine last time, I'm sure she can again if those stupid stories are true and my lungs actually turn to tar or something."

5

Remus sat across from Zeta Melano and Terrance Noble as he listened to the Head Boy and Head Girl explain their coming duties, the handbook already crushed in his fist with nerves. Why on earth had McGonagall thought this was a good idea? As if he needed the extra attention!

He was ignoring the stern lecture over rule number three about always following Peeves if he came into sight as he flashed the scarlet and gold badge this way and that in his hand once more. James or Sirius really should have gotten this, maybe they'd try to cause less trouble if they now had to be on a first name basis with the lot who were going to have to have waltz around the castle once a month. Then again, Mary Macdonald was right beside him, and they'd set off some dungbombs with her on the fringe of that random group of students last year, so he doubted it.

It was probably an extra good thing it wasn't either of them, as Hue Grakin sat proudly amongst them, his chest puffed up as he eagerly followed along in his book, the Hufflepuff didn't need any more excuse to hang around with his friends. Gemma Macmillian sat beside him, leaning on his arm and grinning with excitement, guess she'd gotten over Sirius fast enough.

Peter really would have been the better option, he concluded, as Atria was starting to look anxious in her little corner seat beside Dustin Avery's twisted face. His friends girlfriend clearly needed the moral boost of knowing someone in here more than having to be stuck with that idiot in her house.

Heleen Rosmerta and Richard Abbott finally concluded with rule fifteen about minding the first years, really the only thing the Prefects were known for doing guiding them along to the dorms tonight, and departed, leaving the rest of them in awkward silence for only a moment before Gemma broke it.

"Well, since they didn't assign us partners I think it would be fair to do it by houses! So, if everyone's cool, Hue would you-"

"We should switch it out, from time to time," Remus uneasily broke in, a bit of sweat breaking out over his lip, but he pressed on when he saw Atria ducking even lower and miserably into her seat. "No offense Mary," he added quickly, "but we all know different parts of the castle, we should do it different ways from time to time."

"Yes, sometimes," Gemma pouted at him as she stressed that, "we'll make a chart or something. By," she waved, grabbing Hue's hand and all but yanking him out.

Mary gave him an awkward smile as she quickly left as well, Terrance and Avery also heading in opposite directions. Atria hesitated though, not even seeming to realize Zeta was there as she cleared her throat and whispered, "thanks Remus."

"Oh, ah, you're welcome," he smiled just as awkwardly back. It was odd they'd never really hung out with her, despite the fact Peter mentioned her all the time Remus suddenly couldn't recall a thing about her. "Would you ah, both of you," he added quickly, smiling kindly at Zeta as well, "like to come back to our compartment?" He'd feel like a jerk just bolting now, even if he did fidget uneasily with the sleeves of his robes and tried no to look at his reflection in the glass for the few strands of gray hair looking more visible than usual.

"No thanks," Atria assured, "I wouldn't want to get in the way."

"Oh, you wouldn't," he tried to assure, but he stuttered as he realized he couldn't exactly make the promise she'd be spared the, admittedly overwhelming at times, presence that was Sirius Black and James Potter. The thought alone of these two quiet girls around those two suddenly made perfect sense why Peter kept his girlfriend to himself.

She waved anyways, at him, though he hadn't moved yet, and he took the hint and opened the door once more. Zeta was still in place, looking as pale and nervous as he was, but unlike him she wasn't twitching, but so still it was like she was frozen over. He smiled one more time in sympathy as he left, but neither girl returned it.

5

Sev finally came and found her just as night began to fall, just as he'd promised, half way through the train ride. He'd come to her house that night after the last one to apologize endlessly, the time had just slipped away from him, and she'd tried to swallow her bitterness and forgiven him once more, she just couldn't seem to hold a grudge against him.

The two talked happily the rest of the trip, neither bringing up the odd group of third years who'd gone weirdly quiet like they thought she and her friend were Potter and his idiots and would turn to attack them at the slightest noise.

Clouds kept the night heavy and overcast as they began their departure up to the school, and this time she leaned in and hugged him before he had to leave for his own table, he returned it back with such a warm smile she was convinced this year would finally go better than the last few, they'd find a balance.

She finally found a seat near the very front of the long table where nobody liked to sit, not only for being right under the teachers noses, but a respectful little area for the first years to get easy sitting access too.

McGonagall came in promptly as silence fell with a whole gaggle of first years as usual, propping up the Sorting Hat on the stool. She listened politely to the song and was one of the ones to applaud the loudest, she wished the school would show the kind of unity it sang of.

Lily failed to really take notice of any of the little eleven year old's though as the school kept cheering around her during the sorting, she'd been growing steadily more bitter every year they never got redo's, she didn't even look up as Professor Dumbledore once more introduced their new DADA teacher and picked lightly at her meal, forcing one foot in front of the other as she once again trudged the long walk off to the tower while Mary escorted the first years about, Lupin already shirking his duties as he hung back with his idiots laughing away.

5

James whistled once more in appreciation as they got a good look at their new teacher this year Monday afternoon. Professor Leasimperaturek had short spikey orange hair, more freckles than was countable, and a button nose. Sirius was already muttering about this being his favorite class and he couldn't blame him, she was a looker, but as usual his eyes diverted to Evans' darker, long red hair on the fringe of the class. What he'd give to draw her to his table, offer her the good company she so clearly needed. She was so smart, already having all her notes in order and a fiery challenge lighting her eyes as their teacher started off by going over their coming OWLs at the end of the year.

"You can call me Professor Liz," she finally caught his attention back, though James had no idea who had butchered the pronunciation of her name bad enough to prompt that.

"Thanks Professor Liz," Bless cheerfully repeated, "and it's Homenum Revelio, yes?"

"Correct, five points for Gryffindor," she smiled as she leaned against the desk planting her perk buttocks on it, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "Now, can anyone else tell me some practical uses for that?"

Sirius raised his hand eagerly, and beamed as he was called on this time. "Telling you how many people could be nearby, always good to know your surroundings."

"Correct again, five more points for Gryffindor," the pink of her lips did stand out in the lighting and Sirius' stupid smirk was deserved, but James still frowned for Evans lowering her hand in disappointment.

She didn't even give them homework their first class, she would definitely be missed next year, he already decided as he eagerly went over to his still favorite redhead.

"I'm sure you'll impress her next class Evans," he offered winningly. He loved when she actually looked at him with that scowl, always better than when she just ignored him. Her green eyes blazed. "You've already impressed me more than enough," he promised, but she sauntered away.

Classes were out for the day though, and she didn't seem to be heading down to dinner as his stomach desperately demanded, but he kept at it for now, following along and ruffling up his hair, trying to say anything that would get her to look at him again. "So how was your summer then? I like to think you live near a pool you know, my parents have an enormous one, and even if you don't know how to swim, maybe you could still come over some time, they keep it warm year around-"

She did finally whirl around to face him, and the look on his face terrified him. She was smiling. "Why thank you Potter, would you like to know the exact shade of my swimwear as well?"

She reached her hand out and placed it on his shoulder, felt the heat of it through the strap of his bag, two layers of clothes, and right through every skin, muscle and bone.

As if she'd placed the stupefy spell on him, he had no idea how to respond now that she'd actually answered him for once. It shouldn't have surprised him then that she turned and walked off, and he tried to keep following in a kind of daze as he tried to understand that spark of light he'd seen in her eye-

There was a great ripping noise, and his bag fell from his shoulder.

His friends rounded in time to see his things a mess in all directions, the back of his bag somehow hooked on an oil lamp holder. 

She made it to the stairs and kept going without even glancing back, but he'd swear her shoulders were shaking.

"Bold of her to do that right in front of a Prefect," Sirius laughed as he reached up to unhook him.

"Remus would never take away house points from her, or give detention!" James said at once in a sort of drunken stuper, he'd take all the pranks in the world from her if she'd reward him with a grace of her fingers again.

"I might give you one though," Remus chuckled, "give the poor woman one peaceful night."

"Only if I deserve it, which I can't imagine doing something for," James told him with wide eyed sincerity. 

Peter had already run around collecting his things, and he took them and shoved the mess back in his bag with one last longing look back as they went down to dinner.

"Figured out a way to get out of patrols yet?" Sirius asked of Remus as he had to do the horrible deed tomorrow night. There may not be a full moon this week, but they doubted he'd be lucky to get out of it the first week of every month the next three years like he'd been assigned.

"My usual shtick I guess," Remus sighed, "just have Madam Pomfrey write me a note from the Hospital Wing. I'm just praying none of them figure out the pattern, I don't know why McGonagall did this to me!"

"For the laugh I suppose," Sirius snorted. "It's not like she could pick any of us."

"I doubt they will, it won't be nearly consistent enough, you worry too much." Peter absently assured Remus, but huffed as he frowned at Sirius. "Why couldn't I have-"

"Do you think Evans would like it if I offered to share my homework with her again?" James suddenly butted in, clearly not having been listening to a word of anything else. "I know she burnt it last time, but that was nearly two years ago now, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try some old things."

None of the others bothered to respond, it was a lost cause regardless.

5

"You did what?" Severus looked scandalized as she finished with a mirthless laugh outside his Charms class.

"It was brilliant, you should have seen his face," she insisted, "and nobody got hurt," she finished firmly though when his mouth just kept thinning. "There's a way to deal with those idiots that doesn't involve those ruthless spells you all use."

"What a Muggle perspective on things," a cold voice said from behind her. "Really Severus, it's no wonder you keep her around for such insights."

She turned slowly to see Mulciber and Avery watching with a look of such pure loathing at her, she instinctively went for her own wand with one hand, while the other clenched into a fist.

"Let's all go down to lunch," Sev said quickly now, eyes darting guiltily into the classroom behind. She frowned and tried to peer around, only just now thinking to ask why they were being held late at all in class- but he took her hand and pulled her away before she got a peek inside.

"It's the first week, what on Earth are you up to?" She asked more in exasperated amusement than anything. Mulciber and Avery were a bit ahead, not quite out of ear shot, but generally ignoring the pair lagging behind, so she did the same in kind as always.

"Was just asking him for a reference book, I don't think I did as well on my severing charm as you did," he shrugged.

Ahead, Avery leaned up to whisper something in his friends ear, and the two began sniggering in a very ear grating way. 

"You could have asked me?" She pointed out a tad louder than needed. "I barely had to glance at the book, you know I've been doing really well in that class."

Their laughing increased, and she turned furious eyes on the idiots. Sev squeezed her fingers though and said quietly just for her, "I would have later, I know there's no one better."

She grinned and squeezed his fingers back before dropping his hand while they still laughed. If only he'd tell them to shut up every once in a while, not whisper behind their back like their friendship always seemed, maybe she'd hold his hand all the way down to lunch one of these days.

5

Remus had had exactly two conversations with Mary Macdonald his entire four years here previously. Both had involved their shared Care of Magical Creatures class, and each had just been a friendly passing, 'hey what did you get for such and such,' on their infrequent pop quizzes; so all in all he had no idea how this was going to go tonight.

She'd lost some weight over the summer, though still had a round, girlish sort of curve to her face. Her hair was getting darker as the years went on, no longer just blonde but gaining some dark brown streaks, though he had no clue if that was natural or she'd dyed it, but it was much shorter than it had been last year, just curling around her ears now. She still had odd patches of red on her skin almost like a permanent rash, but her smile was as friendly as ever as she met him in the common room their first weekend for prefect patrols.

They left the common room in non awkward silence as far as he was concerned, but she was still the first to pipe up. "So I guess you didn't talk Gemma out of changing it around yet?"

"I really didn't mean anything by it," he said at once as they went down to their preassigned floor, second, given to them by McGonagall Friday evening. "I know Atria through Peter, and I know Avery the same as everyone else, so I was just offering for her sake."

"Yeah, I thought that was it," she shrugged, "didn't take it personally."

"Oh, good," he smiled, but happily let it drop there. She hesitated same as him when they got to their destination, before she went off one direction and he went another, the two only passing each other as they made a few circuits, but only Moaning Myrtle's sobbing from her toilet ever made a noise. When McGonagall appeared to release them to bed around midnight, they went back up without a fuss. Maybe she wouldn't even notice if he did have to miss because of his full moon's later.

5

October

Peter howled in miserable pain as he clutched at his decidedly broken nose, James and Sirius already tearing off in retribution to the insane fourth year who'd dared do such a blatant thing.

"Not the best start to our new school year," Remus said pleasantly, holding him steady and steering back towards the staircase rather than the Great Hall now.

"Don' boder," Peter groaned, dragging his feet and still looking longingly towards breakfast. "Juz waid til day get 'ack."

"What, why?" He laughed in exasperation.

"As if you don't know better than anyone," Sirius laughed from behind him, not a hair out of place, though that kid was still screaming from a few corridors over, but the laughter was nearly drowning that out.

"Yeah Remus, Madam Pomfrey will have him there for ages, just let me," and James shoved him aside and had his wand drawn before Remus even knew what was happening.

Peter was wincing but prodding along his newly reshaped nose moments later, wiping the last of the blood from his lips on his sleeve as he said, "thanks James."

Remus followed them along with a pit in his stomach. He'd brushed it off last year, but, "since when did you lot get so good at those kinds of Charms?"

"Natural talent," Sirius grinned.

They were interrupted by a flash of light, and the sound of something heavy hitting the ground.

"Come on, better get out of here," James was still snickering as he lead the way into the Great Hall. Remus just sighed, but decided he didn't want to know what they'd done this time.

Remus didn't get a chance to bring it up again, as Sirius immediately leaned into Peter and schooled him, "now remember, don't be afraid of getting hit, that Quaffle won't take your head off, and if you think you can save it, go for it. Even if you miss, better to have tried, right?"

"I know Sirius," Peter groaned.

"And don't let James sike you out, he's a master at-"

"curving the ball, I know Sirius," Peter sighed again.

"Leave him be you idiot, he'll do fine," James agreed as he began drowning his breakfast in his syrup soup once more.

"I'm a little offended he's still trying out for Keeper at all," Remus mock pouted. "Leave me in the stands by myself."

"Maybe you'll get a chance at commentator this year," Sirius waved off, still eyeing Peter critically like he was going to start coaching him on how to eat his breakfast soon.

He didn't let up the entire time down there, causing Peter to keep biting at his nails more and more almost down to the nub.

"Honestly Sirius, enough," James finally pulled him into line with the actual members of the team. "You've had a month to help him with this and you've been too busy doing literally everything else, can't help it now." He would have done it himself, if the idiot hadn't sprung this on him this morning! When had he gotten so good at keeping secrets? He hadn't even come prepared, James didn't like his chances much as he held a school broom.

"That Ava Pride girl is something," Sirius said without remorse as he saw her get in line for the chance even if she purposefully avoided looking at him now, then he quirked a brow in surprise to see he wasn't the only one watching the competition paternally, Tegan Shilling was in attendance as well, taller than a fourth and fifth year on either side of her, thick honey-gold plaited hair out of her face, the third year was smiling nervously but holding her still shiny brand new Shooting Star casually. He looked around to see Bless waving cheerfully at her sister. If the younger was anything like the older, Peter was screwed.

5

"Alright team," Vosper began pacing around in front of them with almost a concerning level of concentration, eyeing each player with such intensity it really was like he was calculating each of them in his head all at once. Tegan tried, and failed not to shrink a little closer to her sister on the bench with nerves, and James quickly intervened before the captain noticed as well.

"Alright Vosper! Now, you and Sirius really do good work together, but I think you need to practice more at-"

"Sit down Potter!" He snapped, at least causing everyone to relax and give a laugh except said uppity bloke. "Now then, that was a great practice, but I do not want you lot getting lax! That's what happened last year, and we lost against Hufflepuff! This is my last year here, and I expect you all to make a good show for it. We have practice again tomorrow, right after classes dismiss!"

Even James and Sirius had to bite back a groan, this had been going on for almost a fortnight! How Vosper kept getting all these trainings in was the real mystery, he had to be bribing the other teams somehow!

The two were so exhausted as they traipsed all the way back up their tower they barely talked, minds on their piles of homework. It was so late the other two had probably already gone to bed and they couldn't even cheat off theirs.

What they instead found, was Remus alone in the common room, pacing anxiously, James' invisibility cloak trailing in one hand, and two wands in the other.

"Hey mate?" James immediately went to his side and tried to slow him, while Sirius drew his wand and looked around anxiously. They'd paid Bless to set a niffler loose in the seventh years girl dorm, Crystal hadn't spoken to them at all their practices since which meant everyone knew it was them, but nobody had retaliated. "You alright? Where's Peter?"

"That's just it, I can't find him," Remus groaned, eyes darting to all corners like he thought he was hiding from them for once, gesturing with both wands. It looked vaguely terrifying with double the power for some reason. "We came up here after dinner, he went up to our dorm to practice his transfiguration, said he didn't want the youngins laughing at him if he still did it wrong, and I accidentally fell asleep working on my charms work down here, but he's not up there! I've been all over this castle and I can't find him! If he just, nipped down to the kitchens or something and I missed him, and he's left his wand lying around before, but-"

"Oh," the two uttered as they exchanged a wordless look, probably thinking the same thing. Had Peter finally...

"Look, err, come on Remus," Sirius grabbed him and began pulling him back towards the portrait hole. "It's Zeta and that Terrance git on patrols right? Let's put that Prefect power to use and keep looking, maybe he locked himself in a classroom or something."

"I'm right behind you," James lied, grabbing up their brooms as if putting them away was a higher priority as he stamped up the stairs, immediately chucking them on the ground again as he fell flat on his stomach and ducked his face under Peter's bed. He wished he had some cheese.

"Peter?" He hissed, grabbing his wand and lighting the tip, and was rewarded by the appearance of a large rat startling away.

"Oh thank Merlin," James breathed, getting to his feet and trying to circle around, but he wasn't making this easy, darting under Remus' bed next. The chase continued like this, James getting more panicky and frustrated every time he missed, damn he still needed to keep practicing with that Snitch! Finally, the little guy got distracted by a bag of his own fudge flies he'd left open on his nightstand and paused too long to try nibbling a few and James caught him.

He didn't bite, scratch, or try to get away really, but he did still squirm uncomfortably as he nosed along James' hand.

"What the hell are you looking for?" James demanded. "And why won't you just change back?" Then he froze as he eyed Peter's bed again, the one he'd kept circling back to in their mayhem, and he remembered the final instruction on their animagus practice.

'The first transformation is usually uncomfortable and frightening, try not to panic. Once you're an advanced Animagus, you should be able to transform without your wand.' "Once you're advanced," he repeated out loud as he cursed. "Alright, hang tight buddy."

He shoved Peter into his pocket, and immediately regretted it as he started worming around in there. "Knock it off," he scolded, but Peter's long bald tail was still sticking out as he wiggled this way and that, and James nearly squeed as his little nails started getting through the fabric.

"Alright, already," James groaned, pulling him back out by said tail, causing him to squeal in protest now. "Just, try to hold still, you-" he took off with the rat still in hand now, holding as gently as he could, but Peter still wouldn't stop moving!

He paused when he got back to the common room though. It was well past curfew now, and Remus and Sirius had long gotten away from him. They could be anywhere in the castle by now, Sirius trying to delay Remus as long as he could while James checked this out. Then he felt like smacking himself in his panic, as he went back up the stairs and grabbed his mirror from his trunk, Remus had the other one last from his recent stint in the hospital wing.

"Remus," he spoke clearly, waiting patiently as the other came to life. "Come on back to the dorms," he couldn't help himself grinning even as his mind was scrambling desperately for a way to explain this. Would Remus buy that this was just a total accident and Peter had done it to himself? He'd just have to run with it.

"He came back?" Remus asked in relief.

"Tell him he's an arse?" Sirius said cheerfully from off screen.

"Sure did, get up here," James agreed, keeping his other hand still tightly on the rodent.

It was a damn shame he couldn't somehow telegraph to Sirius just to bring Peter's wand back without Remus yet, but James kept whispering in his ear the whole time he waited for them to get back, "congrats mate!" He smiled with pride down at him as Peter began nuzzling his fingers affectionately.

5

A trip to Hogsmeade on Halloween was a tradition they were not intending to break as they snuck up through the empty lot and proceeded to enjoy their holiday by admiring even more of the place at night.

Sirius wouldn't know what peace and quiet was as they moved fluidly between the orange and black creepers if it killed him.

"I'd love Nyx, if Mary hadn't already stolen it and named her cat that," he was pouting.

"Goddess of the night," Peter corrected.

"God's a god, it's still cool," Sirius shrugged off. "Maybe Pluto though?"

"Oh, then I could be Jupiter!" James agreed cheerfully. "Skies and thunder!"

"It would almost work," Sirius nodded adamantly, before admitting, "can't think up any for the other two though, and it has to match!"

Remus was trying to just ignore him in hopes he'd let it go, but that wasn't working very well as James was still encouraging this!

"Maybe something wormy for Peter, he's so fidgety," James said thoughtfully.

"What's with the animals?" Remus lost his inner fight anyways and asked curiously, he seemed particularly prone to circling around those. "You keep coming back to that, like I'm not classified as one already."

"Oh you know I don't mean that!" James waved off. "Maybe I'm trying to make a statement, one for all, we're all a little beast."

Sirius felt like whacking James upside the head, he was going to ruin it if he didn't shut up! "I'm going to call you venison and feed you to him, how about that!"

Remus rolled his eyes and tried to keep a lid on his ever growing temper over this. It was all funny to them, they weren't the ones locked up and trying to kill themselves once a month.

"Starlight?" Sirius offered, gazing up at the heavens for inspiration, before actually correcting himself. "Nah, maybe something to do with the dog star though."

"Yes, because you don't remind us of your name every waking moment as is," Remus sighed.

"Oh, hey, I've got one!" Sirius suddenly declared with the end all of cheerful looks as he eyed Remus. "Moony!"

The crescent moon was glinting down right on him, any toddler could have made that leap, as James cheerfully informed Sirius, "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Sirius pouted for only a moment, it might have even deterred him and he'd try again, if Remus hadn't ruined it all by saying the worst thing humanly possible.

"You're not calling me that," he challenged at once with a scowl. Now there was no going back.

5

November

"I will set you on fire," Evans promised.

"I know," James agreed cheerfully, "but won't you please go out with me first? I promise, I can show you things around Hogsmeade nobody else in this entire castle could!"

Her hand was twitching for her wand, and the idiot didn't even have the sense to take one step back. Thankfully the bell rang, saving them from yet another visit to the hospital wing as he left her by the sinks and went over to his friends.

"I don't think she even went to our Quidditch game last weekend," James pouted as he watched Peter still talking to Atria by her cauldron. "Does the poor woman ever allow herself to have fun?" His eyes had already swiveled back to see her collecting her bag and talking to that Snivellus idiot again.

"Cheer up mate," Sirius was already halfway out the door, "I'm sure you'll wear her down eventually! I'm off to practice this very interesting lesson!" He couldn't even fake the sarcasm well as he went darting off to the dorms.

James snorted as he looked back at the fading classroom in the dim lighting, Peter had been changing back and forth every day while Remus was in the shower just to annoy Sirius, who did not take lightly to the challenge and kept sprinting off so much for some alone time practice even Remus was getting concerned.

"Is he trying to masturbate himself to death or something?" He asked as they waited patiently at the top of the stairs now for Peter instead. "He hasn't even had a girlfriend this month yet, has he gone through all the girls in the school already?"

"Nah," James shrugged, still fighting off a laugh, "don't you worry about it." He stopped there like that was all the explanation needed.

"That wasn't encouraging," Remus frowned, but Peter finally seemed done making out with his girlfriend and came jogging up the stairs to meet them.

"Oh hey," James popped himself on the forehead as if he'd just forgotten, "I don't have my Charms book, tell Flitwick why I'm late, yeah?"

"I am definitely missing something," Remus frowned as he took off too, and now Peter was doing his very best not to laugh. James didn't take competition well either.

"Think they're trying to find a secret entrance without us or something," Peter lied smoothly instead. "Come on, we're the ones who need the class more than them anyways."

"A ruddy miracle, considering how much they keep skipping," Remus huffed.

The two were getting so bad about it all, they were even starting to whisper skipping the Hogsmeade trip this weekend, each only had a few sections of their skulls left to piece together and they were getting desperate to beat the other out.

That Friday night as Remus was doing his patrolling, the three of them were hiding out in the Shrieking Shack from him and any other nosy prefects who would pop into their dorm at any random given chance.

Peter was munching on some popcorn, James' camera hidden in his bag for prosperity when they all managed it, they already had a candid shot of him on film Peter had been grinning at. He was currently laughing himself stupid as Sirius continued his wand work and kept James all to easily distracted. "I heard it from a reliable source, didn't I Pete, Evans is going to be hanging around the Hog's Head tomorrow!"

James was trying his best to ignore him, and prongs poking out of his head were a good distraction, but Sirius already had the pointed black ears and just his snout left to go. If Remus were here to play with, Peter would be betting on Sirius.

"I even heard her and Snivellus were fighting again," Sirius used his breath while trying to practice a silent spell, the arsehole really was good. "Might be a good time to swoop in and-"

There was a pop, his wand clattered to the floor, and an enormous black dog was barking and wagging its tail, stumbling over his feet more in confusion than anything.

"Oh come on," James pouted, while Peter ran over and snatched up his wand before he accidentally broke it.

"Alright mate, just relax," Peter soothed, the dog was nearly the same height as him! He reached anyways and began calmly patting him in between the ears as the stormy gray eyes roved over everything, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth in the most confusing stare a dog could ever possess. "A lot to take in, I know, that tail can be weird."

The massive dog shoved his nose nearly into Peter's mouth, sniffing with such ferocity it was like he was trying to suck his face off as he nuzzled all around, then stumbling over to James just as curiously.

James smiled with pride as he watched, his own temporarily forgotten as the Sirius dog finally got the footing right and began a fast gate in circles around them, still barking madly. It looked so freeing, his tail held jauntily in the air, the only time he ever looked so carefree was when he was laughing, which he clearly was doing now.

Forcing every last nerve of concentration into place, James used his spell one last time, and the sound of hooves clattering around joined in. It was painful, a stretching and pinching kind of feeling as everything coalesced at once, his clothes merging and vanishing beneath fur, and he now towered down over everything, his antlers even got caught in the broken chandelier and he finally ripped that down, bellowing in confusion.

Sirius was there, circling around his feet, having to rear up just a bit to lick at his chin. The weirdest part by far was the way his eyes tracked things now.

"Wow," Peter breathed as he gazed at them, his eyes shining with admiration, two wands now clutched carefully in his hand. "You two are..." he trailed off as he reached out a tentative hand, brushing the black snout, fighting back laughter. The melanistic deer even had white markings around the eyes circling down in a line up to the antlers like his glasses, and those fuzzy prongs were no joke like the ridiculous thing they'd been on his head earlier. Now they were proportional and looked ready to spear something through the heart.

James began taking a few tentative steps, but the living room wasn't nearly big enough for him, he could barely stretch as he started this way and that, getting used to the movement.

After nearly an hour, Peter finally convinced them to stay still long enough to put their wands back in their mouths, being very mindful of Sirius' extremely sharp teeth. Like his own he was sure, it still took strong concentration and visualizing their human appearance before a single pop echoed in the room, and James stood beaming at him. The black dog was starting to huff in frustration, and Peter was tempted to take the wand back away lest he start gnawing on it.

"Come on mate," James groaned, encouraging and teasing all at once, he really was multi talented like that too. "You stare at yourself in the mirror better than anyone I know!"

He huffed. Maybe it was because they knew him so well, maybe it was their own animagus status already, but it was quite bizarre to be able to read him so well as he glowered at them and shot a few choice words at James through barking, causing his wand to fall out.

Then the trap door swung open behind them, and Remus poked his head in.

"There you lot are," he said in exasperation, he barely had to jump anymore as he got himself out. He dusted himself off as he straightened up and looked at the two in exasperation. "I've been looking all over, what are you-" he stopped abruptly at the giant black dog and frowned in confusion as Peter and James guiltily stood in front of him, covering nothing.

Sirius had been so stunned he hadn't even thought to run for cover, instinct had him grounded in place and his hackles wanted to raise as if a threat were nearby, despite the fact he could still tell himself there was no such thing present, and he was caught in the middle of both reactions.

Remus' brow was furrowed up like he was deep in thought, looking oddly at the dog, then to James, and finally Peter, before his mouth hung open at Sirius' wand on the ground at their feet. He mouthed wordlessly for several long moments, before his voice came out so hoarse, at least they had the hope he couldn't yell at them all night for this, he barely got the words out, "what did you do?"

"Now Remus, don't panic or anything," James began in a calm, soothing voice like Peter had just used on them.

"Yeah, we've thought it all through-" Peter began, but he made the mistake of taking a step towards him, and Remus took an automatic one back, right through the hole.

"Shit," they both yelped, as he fell out of sight, and made no moves to reappear. Even Sirius would bark it they'd later swear, and he took off the fastest on his great padded feet, the other two right behind him, as they dived back down into the hole, Peter only lagging behind as he stooped to grab Sirius' wand. Their heads bent awkwardly, the magical tunnel was not in an accommodating mood, and Remus was already nearly out of sight as he sprinted off.

Sirius was still a tad uncoordinated, Remus got to the end before he could catch up, but the cry of pain that echoed back to them only had them all moving faster.

Peter changed on instinct, lunging out of the hole and landing on all fours as well, twisting to get at that little knot while Sirius moved with grace now, snatching Remus' leg into his mouth and dragging him the few precious feet back to the hole as the tree made another mad swing at him that only just stopped as Peter got the thing to freeze.

James ran forward and grabbed him, hauling him out of harm's way as Remus limped along, Sirius repentantly following as he hadn't even thought of his new teeth, and Remus' now ragged pants leg.

Peter waited until they were well out of the way before he snatched up Sirius' wand in his mouth once more, only his own went to his pocket apparently. He easily skipped past every root right to them, the tree didn't even acknowledge him going he was so small.

Remus watched in a dazed kind of horror as James lowered him gently to the ground under their favorite window. Peter seemed to appear from out of nowhere, Sirius' wand in hand, even his bag still in place. The dog snatched it away, and after another pop, Sirius finally stood before him as well. His shoulder ached terribly from where the tree had lashed into him, his leg itched a bit from where Sirius had nicked him, but his heart doing double time in his chest was going to be the death of him as he watched the three.

"Why?" He wondered if he was going to start crying as all three knelt beside him, the ground crunching with newly fallen snow. "I, don't understand, you, you lot could get expelled for this! That's, actually illegal! Why?"

He'd long since stopped asking why he'd survived that night he'd been bitten, why Dumbledore had accepted him into this school when no other person had, why his three friends even put up with him most of the time. This was beyond the range of anything he ever could have questioned of the world.

"I told you Remus," James said with those same sincere hazel eyes he'd awoken to the first real morning of his life it seemed. "I'm not going to just sit around and watch you kill yourself once a month. I, we," he quickly corrected, "are tired of waiting around for someone else to fix this, so we did."

"That, it doesn't," he really would have been crying now, he kept picturing his usual nightmare of being dragged out of here in chains now coupled with them being dragged along, was this kind of trouble worth a stint in Azkaban? "I don't understand," he begged. The tears would have come by now if they weren't frozen to his face.

"You're not going to hurt yourself anymore because we're not going to let you," Sirius said it with the same simplicity he did werewolf nowadays. "You saw the size of me, and you should get a load of James, we'll-"

"No," Remus stated in such a flat, cold voice that they all finally flinched back from him instead. "No, absolutely not! You, nobody should be in there! I don't give a damn what you turn into you idiots!" He was shouting so loud by the end, they were sure to get caught out of bed this time. "You, you can't just come in there, I'll kill you!"

"Heh, don't be ridiculous," Peter patted him clumsily on the knee, still looking just a bit worried Remus was going to snap his wrist for it. "Werewolves don't like normal animals."

Remus' head was spinning, he wondered if he was going to be sick, his mouth wouldn't close.

"Look Remus, I'm sorry for springing this on you," Sirius said in exasperation, and not like he really meant that apology at all. "We just didn't want you to freak out before we proved we were fine!"

James shoved him with an eye roll and kept meeting Remus' eyes. "This is why we weren't going to tell you until the next time you woke up from one of those furry little problems of yours. So you wouldn't worry about this. We knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started, and you can't stop us from helping you Remus."

This was so, so very much more than them just accepting him though. Remus didn't think he'd ever have the words in his life to say thanks, just the idea of what they were offering, so tempting...

"No," he still whispered. "You can't, I'll, I'll give you all detentions, I swear I will! I, I'll kill you, please don't turn me into a murderer, please, please don't," 'please don't leave me,' hung unspoken like the whimpering five year old he'd once been, waking up alone in St. Mungo's, his parents forbidden from entering, his shoulder an indescribable pain as he begged to go home and they held him down for an entire month, only the fully grown monster that erupted from him a month later had freed him in the abandoned wing.

They'd let him go home after that, but he always knew he'd never really left. The following years of silence, the cage, his mother's clueless optimism dwindling as she realized there was no cure, his father far more busy dealing with the social stigmatism of it all for too long. He'd come to Hogwarts with the simple hope of the noise of being around other kids, something resembling normal for the first time in his life. What he'd instead gained in his three friends even the best couldn't have predicted.

"No, you won't," James spoke in absolutes, leaning forward and resting his hand on his shoulder, his palm searing right over the scar they all knew was there, the very first one, the only one he'd never given himself. "We look out for each other."

There had never been any arguing with them, even when he'd told himself he wanted to, he'd always been lying to himself. "Guess you've already done it then," Remus forced himself to say, but he couldn't yet smile.

"See, thank you," Sirius huffed, tucking his hair behind his ear, only for it to slip back out and curl around his chin once more. "A little gratitude for all our work wouldn't kill you!"

James and Sirius stood up, and then bent down and grabbed him under the arms, hauling him upright between them, and holding steady a few more moments. Remus was shivering, his pants dripping wet from being in that snow too long, but it was the euphoria of what was suddenly being offered to him while he looked at that tree once more that had him trembling. The last full moon had been over two weeks ago, he could still feel the new laceration he'd given to his hip from then. Maybe, finally, he wouldn't wake up from the next with a new scar. Maybe he'd actually want to wake up from that one.

He flinched at his own thought, scolding himself for even entertaining them once more, that's what had started all of this! He still couldn't get the recurring nightmare from his mind of it all going horribly wrong somehow and he'd finally wake up to their corpses scattered all around, a full belly for once, now they were offering themselves up on a platter!

"Here," Peter broke the silence by fumbling his bag off his back, chucking popcorn along the ground without a care, even a few sweet wrappers before finally coming up with a small silver object in his hand. Remus blinked dazedly before his eyes settled on James' camera. "This is even better than using it on just their fuzzy arses." Peter tapped it with his wand, and it hovered in place. He went behind it for a few moments and busied himself, before sprinting back around and shouting, "ten seconds!"

Sirius let go of Remus in protest, backing away and yelping, "that's not enough time, I haven't-"

James caught him deftly around the neck, keeping a firm hold on Remus and not bothering to fight back his laugh as Peter hung on Sirius' elbow to keep him there while the camera flashed.

Peter grabbed it quickly before the charm could wear off and flipped it around smugly to show them. Sirius had a rather arrogant look on his face, still his default expression when he was shocked by something and tried to casually blow it off. James' hair was still as wild and stuck up as ever, his glasses flashing the lens a bit. Remus wondered if it was just his imagination he and Peter seemed on the outs a little, he knew he certainly looked deliriously delighted in comparison to the two as they immediately went off, still bickering about the other's tendencies of surprise attacks.

"Wait," Remus called after them, finally finding a laugh somewhere in all this. "Can't I see the animals?"

"Not until after," James called over his shoulder, "we still deserve some surprise in all of this."

"Like which throat I'm going to rip out first," Remus grumbled as he went after them.

Peter gave a nervous laugh that matched perfectly as they caught up.

5

Remus spent the next two weeks having an incessant argument, with himself and them, about whether he should allow this. Most nights he woke up from horrors on what would happen if he didn't, it got so bad Sirius filched a dreamless potion from Pomfrey two days before and kept slipping into Remus' drink both nights, and he woke up in his bed just to keep going.

'This was the most terrible, worst idea ever, and you're going to regret it the rest of your life,' he kept assuring himself as he slipped into the empty tangles beneath the tree under Madam Pomfrey's watchful eye, but there they were, waiting for him like this was just another trip to class or meeting him outside the hospital wing early.

It felt odd, not removing his clothes as he trudged after them, but Sirius flung an arm over his neck forcing him to keep up, and James only waited until they heard the whoosh of the tree start above them before he started humming under his breath. Sirius was as quick to join in as ever, only Peter seemed as worried as him and he'd bite his tongue off before he ever told them no.

His body ached in that horribly familiar way, his skin already trying to blister and twitch despite the fact he probably had a good hour before the moon was at its peak. He was hyperventilating as James reached the hatch and shoved it casually open, Sirius once more shoving him to get moving like that very first time. His hands were shaking so bad James and Sirius had to help get him up despite the fact it was barely a leg up anymore.

"Stop begging Remus, time for the big reveal," James clapped him on the back with a friendly enough gesture that actually sent him to his knees he was trembling so hard. He was trying to both not look at them and memorize every facet of them. If this was the last time he'd see them, at least they were still smiling, smug, idiots.

James took a few steps back, and Remus had to fight the urge to throw his arms around his knees and beg not to be left alone, or shove him back down the hole in one last desperate attempt, even he didn't know what his twitching hands meant by it. There was a pop, and then James' boots vanished to be replaced by four sets of heavy looking, black,  elongated cloven toes neatly dicing each foot nearly in half. The dew claws on the back were nearly invisible as his eyes began traveling up the strong, powerful looking legs, the massive black hide was much smoother than James' hair had ever been in its life and still he'd swear even the tail stuck up in the back in that familiar way just to insist otherwise.

The soft muzzle nosing his ear forced his eyes higher, and he gaped not at the four points on each prong or even the odd white spectacle markings traced in, but the familiar hazel eyes gazing calmly at him even with rectangular pupils now.

Sirius wouldn't live with himself if he let James have all the fun, and a massive bark broke his concentration and tackled into the deer, the black dog sending him ungainly off balance as one stumbled away and the canine now stood proudly before him.

He'd been the one most prominent in both versions going off in his head. The werewolf in him would either see this new one as a challenge, or be happy for a new play thing, he just didn't know himself well enough to guess. The large black dog was even more massive than Remus had gotten a wayward look at, now standing proudly in the dim lighting of the shack.

"You guys," he croaked as he felt more than anything Peter moving the hatch behind him, and he looked back just in time to see it slamming in place. None of them would be able to change back and get it open before he ripped all of their hearts out. A large brown rat sat on the ring, fur the same scruffy brown coloring as Peter's hair, grooming his whiskers for a moment before scurrying to his knee and rearing up to take a few curious sniffs at him.

His fathers warnings still rang clear in his head. Eleven years old again and begging him to have a say in his own life, he'd be a good boy at school, follow every rule, and nobody would be the wiser for it. He knelt there, crying once more, but there was no going back now, as the first crack rippled up his spine.

The three of them backed slowly away, and it was the last thing they wanted to do, as they already felt like failures as Remus began to scream. The noise was the most dreadful thing they never could have imagined, somehow tangled in a human and animal as the mouth formed first, glistening fangs in a muzzle began jutting from his face, and then he got bigger.

Even watching from six feet away the whole thing was hard to believe, his skin nearly vibrating in place as it was pulled and folded into itself while silver fur began creeping out, arms and legs cracking and repairing before their eyes, the werewolf was long and lean, they wouldn't have ever believed that had been inside Remus if they hadn't seen it for themselves as he finally burst free from the clothes and boots and towered above even James, balancing on his two legs as he let out a long, night piercing howl.

It was the eyes that truly shocked them all, no story in the world could tell them what they were seeing as the circular black pupils and amber orbs held no sanity in their depths. The snarl caused James to skitter back a few feet and Peter to squeal and dart up the nearest thing, which happened to be James. Sirius flopped onto his back on pure instinct before scolding himself and rolling back over, but continuing forward as low to the ground as he could.

The werewolf didn't attack though. He just watched, nose twitching, ears flicking in all directions as he tracked everything, and finally fell back to all fours, now with Sirius right underneath him. The black dog began licking the werewolf's lower jaw, keeping his belly low the whole time, and the werewolf actually bowed his head and gave a soft lick back on the side of his exposed neck.

Sirius sprang to his feet in excitement, but the werewolf now turned away in boredom, padding softly to begin sniffing the other two keenly. They stayed very still and let him nose all over, but the moment he was done with that, he did snarl again. Sirius darted forward while James tried to hop back again, but his rump was already against the wall, and the werewolf wasn't angry at them. He'd already lost interest.

No, he turned, and made a bite at himself.

Already in motion, Sirius tackled his side before the jaws could get a good purchase, and the werewolf stumbled more in surprise than anything, glancing at the dog once more in true disbelief. It was very clear nothing had ever disturbed him before and he didn't know what to make of them anymore than the other way around.

They had a weary stand off before the werewolf grew bored once more, and began sniffing the air. He started circling the little hatch in the ground, nose pressed flat to it in an almost desperate sort of way, but then without warning snarled once more and flashed around, his own claws batting at his stomach in frustration.

'Hungry,' Remus had always told them it was the only clear memory he had of this time. No food they would have brought would satisfy him though. Sirius again sprinted right into the werewolf, not quite fast enough as blood blossomed in the shiny fur, but he was once more temporarily distracted and gazed at the dog with some unreadable emotion in the alien face.

Then he did pounce at Sirius, but there was no accompanying growl. The two went rolling about, head butting and shoving, even rearing up from time to time and starting to flash their teeth, but they were playing. Sirius could feel it in his bones, read it in every move that was made, even as a playful growl burst from his own chest and the two smacked muzzles against each other and tried to pin the other, it was no different than their wrestling matches for years now.

The werewolf had the upper hand, he was still quite a bit bigger than Sirius and soon had him pinned, panting almost happily they'd swear over his victory, but the moment he let Sirius up he already seemed too bored to try again, pacing and circling again, sniffing the air.

So they just kept at it, all night, and things steadily got worse. James tried his hand next, darting forward and butting his antlers before skipping back, but there just wasn't enough room as the werewolf didn't even seem to want to acknowledge him, just butted him away with a paw whenever he got close and tried to attack himself again, anger, hunger, boredom, or some combination of all three kept him in constant movement that Sirius alone just couldn't entertain as their wrestling matches slowly got less playful.

Sirius recognized this and tried to retreat and submit again, but the werewolf was just growing more frustrated as the night wore on, unable to lash out at anything, he finally snapped his jaws around flesh and held tight, not caring for the high pitched dogs cry until something painful jammed into his ribs, and he released the useless pray to turn and snarl, teeth snatching onto an antler with no more pleasure, just an aching jaw.

James began bellowing in panic he couldn't get away, rearing up to try and dislodge him but the creature only went with the movement, thrashing his jaw this way and that. His sharp hooves only added to the problem, thrashing against the silver fur of the rib cage on instinct to be free, it would have disemboweled a normal wolf. Sirius was still limping and trying to get back to his feet, so Peter finally darted forward, still keeping himself precariously on James' other antler as he leaned down and bit at the werewolf's snout.

He yelped, and James was released. His own fuzzy point was spat into his face as they all retreated into separate corners for only a moment, before the werewolf tried turning on himself once more. Sirius let out his own howl of frustration as he recklessly darted forward, but when the werewolf appeared to get the upper hand and sank down a hold, Peter would dart forward and bite at anything to distract, a massive padded foot the size of him, the tail, a lip, even an ear if his head was bent right, and they'd be released, only for James to jump forward next. It just started all over again.

In the moments it was about to end they still didn't guess what was coming, he finally turned away from them in displeasure, and began slamming himself against the walls, howling one last desperate cry for freedom before he was trapped away for another month, and the whole thing flew in reverse much faster.

The cracking bones seamlessly began shrinking, the jaw collapsed and the tail vanished, his ears tufted, then blunted as the cartilage reshaped, the concave stomach and ribs realigned, and then Remus stood before them, naked, bleeding, while his green again eyes rolled into his head and he fell to the ground.

Peter had been the only one to come away without a bite, but he still traveled up the stairs on all fours, only changing back when he reached the door upstairs and throwing it open to grab the blanket and come tumbling back down to throw it over him. For just a moment, it all felt worth it, as the few bruises and scratches on Remus' side looked almost mild in comparison to the work he usually did on himself.

Then he looked up, and saw the damage on the other two. Both had felt the teeth sink past fur, blood was matted into their sides, and the two stayed on trembling fours, clearly fearing to change back until Peter darted forward and cast his healing charms on them. Even after the wounds were sealed, they waited far longer than they should have as the sun began creeping in. They needed to leave, before Madam Pomfrey arrived for him, but now came the true test of the night.

Just like everything they did, as if they'd planned it long before hand, James and Sirius appeared at once, panting with exertion, their faces bruised and hobbling painfully from side to side to be back on two legs just as much as their aching bodies, but they ripped their shirts up, and laughed. There were no bite marks visible, the werewolf's saliva and contamination had not followed them to their human bodies. Everything had been worth it.

5

Remus' eyes fluttered open in absolute confusion. It was the day after a full moon, of that he was always aware of, but for some reason this time he felt only, hungry. Not in that dire pain he'd felt all his life, not too hot in the wrong skin, not even miserable for once. Just hungry.

He shifted about, even pulling the covers up to make sure his toes and fingers were all curling like they were supposed to, absently wondering if he'd killed himself and this was just some weirdly non-pain ghost state, but he wasn't transparent, and now he did feel just a few tugs of repaired skin under his belly, his ribs and shoulder did seem sore now that he was flexing about, but it was laughably tame in comparison to his usual state.

His brain felt like a soggy mess, he didn't understand anymore than Madam Pomfrey did as she saw him awake and came bustling over, for once smiling pleasantly and immediately offering him a heavy platter of toast, beans, and sausages. He snagged four of the deliciously hot meats into his mouth even as she helped support him into an upright position.

"Well, Mr. Lupin, I don't know what you got up to last night," she told him fondly, even smoothing his hair down for a moment as she laid the plate in his lap, "but you had a light one, and we'll be thankful for that now won't we. You're excused for your evening classes as soon as you like-"

He choked on the beans and nearly missed her reminder he hadn't taken his clothes off and so had none here and would probably want to go get changed first from the scrubs. Classes! "My friends," he suddenly blurted, looking wildly around the hospital wing. Only Richard Misca was in the far bed with a teacup stuck to his nose though, it was the exact same shade of his strawberry blonde hair. "Have they-"

"Been by this morning, just like always," she sighed in exhaustion, but her lips finally thinned to their usual display as she recalled their state, and it wasn't at him for once! "Looked like they'd been dueling all night, covered in bruises those two troublesome boys, but I told them you seemed much better this time and to sit down and let me heal them or get to class, and they actually chose class! This day's just full of miracles," she laughed to herself as she took away his now empty plate and shooed him along.

Stumbling barefoot up to his tower and ignoring Peeves throwing rotten pumpkins around on the sixth floor a month late, he found himself trying to change clothes in such a daze he was tucking the sleeve of his shirt into his pants and forgot his socks entirely as he slipped his boots on and sprinted back out, not caring he forgot his hat and tie as he grabbed his bag, he'd take the docked points all day as he rushed madly down to the staircases, but paused as he glanced out the window. He'd forgotten to ask what time it actually was!

Madam Pomfrey had fed him, which meant it was definitely after lunch. They were either in Arithmancy and Muggle Studies respectively, or History of Magic, depending on the exact hour. His feet were sweating in his boots, his shirt was still crooked and sitting at an awkward angle on his neck, it was distracting even if he'd never felt so awake so soon after a full moon! Thankfully he spotted Vosper heading his way.

"Oi," he called eagerly, "what time is it?"

"Time for my free period," he said with a grumpy scowl as he hoisted up his bag, clearly meaning an hour block of homework. His attitude grew when he seemed to realize who he was talking to, and he glared at Remus even more. "Tell your two idiot friends that if they try to get out of a Quidditch practice early again, I will start looking for reserve players for them."

"Err, right," he muttered as he vaguely recalled there had been practice on Tuesday night, and yet they'd been the ones waiting for him, Merlin he really did owe them everything. "Ah, I'm late for class," he reminded, "but I don't know what time-"

The bell rang anyways, and Vosper rolled his eyes as he walked off. Remus resisted the urge to chuck something at his head. He glanced out a window and gauged the sun, it was definitely late enough in the day this had to be the final class then, so History of Magic it was, perfect.

His feet kept moving unpleasantly in his boots, he hadn't even done up one the laces right as he went flying down the stairs and likely would break his neck, but he'd never had more energy in his life after a full moon as he raced around and was actually the first to enter Binns's classroom. He might even stay awake this time!

The girls all trickled in first, spreading themselves out in the middle long table, Evans going to her usual spot alone in the back. Remus sat at their table near the windows bouncing impatiently, but then the bell rang and Binns came right through the chalkboard as usual, set himself up, and began reading his notes. Remus forced himself to be patient and wait, but Binns flipped through the first set of parchment and right to the next and he didn't even take in a word.

Remus' heart thumped unevenly, he was definitely in the right class, were they just skipping? They could be anywhere then! He absolutely did not want to wait, snatching up his bag he hadn't even unpacked and walking right out, but now just standing in the corridor with his stomach twisting up painfully.

Had Madam Pomfrey's highly sharpened skills not detected a worse injury in one of them and they were lying somewhere bleeding to death from him? Maybe they'd finally decided, after seeing him like that, they'd had enough and wanted to take it back themselves now and were avoiding him. She hadn't mentioned Peter at all, had he killed him and they were out burying the body still-

"Oi, there he is!"

Remus fell right out of his shoe he twisted so hard, couldn't catch himself in time with the other, somehow managed to stamp on his toes, and went sprawling out on the floor as Sirius stood at the corner and grinned at the sight of him. Not caring that he hopped back up a complete disaster, he grabbed Sirius in the tightest hug ever, the sound of his laugh in his ear more soothing than any chocolate in the world.

"What is this?" He demanded as he patted Remus on the back. "We skipped to go see you in the Hospital Wing, and you come here instead? We really need to coordinate that hive-mind of ours-"

"Are you okay?" He demanded, releasing him and trying to tug his shirt up, fingers flying up inside without a care as he yelped and tried to back away in surprise, but even with the briefest look Remus could spot no disfiguring mark.

"Stop that," Sirius scolded, snatching his shirt tail away, only for Remus to turn on James in the exact same fashion as they rounded the corner.

"We're fine, relax Remus," James giggled, putting up with it much better as Remus had his shirt hoisted right up to his armpit and was actually tickling him a bit as his fingers prodded around.

They were both bruised just as much as him, but the garish silver marks that would have claimed them same as him were not present.

"Oh my gosh," he kept muttering over and over, eyes turning on Peter next, who skipped behind James and crossed his arms in protest. "Oh my gosh," he repeated just for good measure.

"I take it you're feeling alright," Sirius was more smug than he'd ever been in his life, the dark circles under his eyes made them the stormiest gray color, all four of them now looked like they had matching broken noses for their sleep this week, but then the four burst out laughing, and didn't stop the rest of that evening.

5

December

"Thanks for doing patrols with me Remus," Zeta whispered as she met him in front of the tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet. Then again, she never really spoke above that. "Terrance has been driving me nuts, won't ever shut up about himself that one and follows me around to do it, and I remember you saying you'd like to switch things around."

"Yeah, of course," he nodded as he finished attaching his prefects badge to his robes. He tried not to let it bother him Atria had apparently not had any problems yet though, what kind of girl was Peter dating again? "We all know that, idiot isn't even in our house and we're well aware. Just need to remember to apologize to Mary later, but she can put up with him for one week I'm sure."

She smiled then, a tiny shy one, but Remus grinned fully back as encouragement. She wasn't like Evans, who seemed to purposely isolate herself and only ever associate with Snape but seemed more than happy to snap at anyone in her blunt way. The only person Zeta was ever seen around was Dirk Cresswell and her sister, otherwise she seemed painfully shy and kept to herself. Remus didn't think himself a shy person, anymore, but he did understand as the two went off in comfortable silence it didn't need to be broken.

They'd gotten the seventh floor tonight, familiar territory to both of them. They didn't strictly have to stay together, but Remus began to worry when they only reached the first bend and she was already starting to drag her feet a bit, so he followed her on the next turn rather than going his own way.

Neither said a word the rest of the night, but by the time Babbling came around to release them and they were supposed to be off to bed, the poor girl was walking with more stiffness in her than even Remus found himself doing most weeks. He followed in concern now as she went to Ravenclaw tower, and even fought back the urge to put his hand on her back as she swayed, uneven nails pressed to the spiraling wall all the way up to the eagle knocker.

She didn't try to activate it, just stood there watching him as he watched her.

He didn't think she was a werewolf, but he'd never actually met another one to be sure if he would know such a thing. Maybe she was just legitimately sick, but he swore as he stood there he could just sense something.

"Thanks Remus," she finally whispered, her hand still pressed to the wall for support. "The quiet was nice."

"Anytime," he promised, finally admitting to his dismissal and taking the first stair backwards.

"I don't think Mary would agree," Zeta laughed quietly.

"Maybe we can force Terrance and that Avery arse together, they deserve each other," he offered, going another step down.

She smiled to him as she finally raised the knocker and Remus turned away, only going around the bend enough he was out of sight as he heard the riddle, "A word I know, six letters it contains, remove one letter and twelve remains. What is it?"

"Dozens," her voice answered promptly, and he let out his own quiet sigh of relief as he finally went along. He'd come across a few comfy spots in his time around the castle, and even stashed a pillow in a few. He would have offered she could have slept in one of those rather than the stairs.

5

It was the first time in Remus' entire life he was looking forward to a full moon. He'd gone to Madam Pomfrey the morning of and begged her not to go along with him this time, he was old enough now he didn't need an escort! She still seemed weary, he still had a tendency to fall asleep sporadically the day before and she'd feel better checking he was in there, but Remus swore he was responsible and knew the consequences otherwise, so they didn't even need the invisibility cloak this time as they raced each other to the end.

"I'm going upstairs to get undressed," he told them casually, like his heart wasn't pounding in excitement and this wasn't the coolest, weirdest thing in his entire life that he had anyone to talk to as his fingers began trembling and he bit back his first moan. "Madam Pomfrey won't believe me a second time I just forgot."

"Leave the door open then, we'll preserve your modesty and not peek," Sirius said while lounging against the wall, twiddling his wand.

They waited until the floorboards began creaking above them, and Peter moved as softly and gently as the old house was capable of as he eased the hatch back open beneath them, still wincing slightly as he couldn't stop the softest of thuds when he laid it open on the ground. "Sure this is a good idea?" He breathed into James' ear, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs just to make sure Remus didn't check back down.

"He needs more space, we all do," James whispered just as quietly back, Moony wouldn't be able to hear if he was standing between them, "and we know that forest better than the school. Plus, nobody goes in there but us, we'll be fine."

The idea of Hagrid lingered in all three of them, he was as much a part of the staff as McGonagall and likely knew, so if he caught them they were screwed, not to mention the pure danger Remus so feared of attacking the gamekeeper, surely even his massive size wouldn't save him from the brute they were soon going to try and control. He spent as much time in that forest as them, but it was a risk they were willing to take, another night like the last and the werewolf's temper could make him go for a proper, jugular kill.

Their plan had been a success, and they had no intentions of stopping now. Moony the werewolf deserved his freedom as much as any other of his kind so long as he was kept in check, and they weren't going to keep him hidden away when they were so sure of themselves they could do just that. Best not to let him freak out about this though, not after the last time.

Three pops went unheard as the screaming began. Sirius didn't stick around to inform James his antlers had not only regrown, but gained another point on each side,  he went racing up the stairs to meet him as James stayed below, Peter once again scaling him for the best vantage point and staying in his prongs. He wanted to wait to stop the tree to see how Moony would react this time, if they needed back up and a distraction. There was barking and the sounds of the bed being smashed up before Sirius game galloping down, Moony clearly not deterred from following, snapping playfully at the great dog's tail right down the hole.

Peter squealed in protest, Sirius had been supposed to keep him up there far longer and was now racing faster than he thought was possible to outstrip the two canines, barely dancing in between their feet as they finally got to the incline, and pressing on the knot in the tree just as the first branch went pelting after them.

Moony stopped and stared at the danger, before taking one cautious stride forward and sniffing heavily along the branch like it hadn't been about to club him in the face, Sirius vibrating at his side and watching his every move attentively so that he didn't make a break for Hogwarts castle.

Like everything, the werewolf quickly lost interest in the plant, but now that he seemed to realize there was more to see, it was like watching a whole new being than last time. His ears perked up, his nose didn't seem to ever want to stop moving as he met the icy breeze in his face, and then his sides inflated in, and he released a long howl of excitement.

Sirius joined in, then butted his head against Moony, taking off for the shadow of trees like so many times.

Moony didn't even look at him, their fears at once confirmed as he tried to make right for the school.

James and Sirius pounced at once, Sirius getting a hold of Moony's scruff and snarling viciously in reprimand as he pulled back, James adding in with his antlers and all but throwing Moony in the direction they wanted. The werewolf did not take kindly to being bossed around, swiping and biting in frustration, practically salivating as he clearly smelt in the air for the first time in his life a pray he'd long been denied leading him towards the castle.

Peter's nails were starting to tremble as he held the knot in place, they weren't even out of the shadows of the tree yet and this was all going horribly wrong, before he got a sudden idea, and let go.

The whomping willow came to life once more around them, batting and crashing at the three as it flung its vicious whip like branches to scatter them away. Moony foolishly tired to fight that off with a warning bark instead of darting away like the other two agile animals. He took a heavy, python thick branch right to the muzzle for his troubles and went sailing, not even able to howl in pain as he landed in the forest's edge just like they wanted.

Sirius and James took advantage of the distraction as Peter weaved easily and without notice once more away from the tree and got himself back onto James' back as they began pushing and forcing Moony farther into the forest. His jaw hung loose and free now, a few painful looking splinters embedded around his whole face, some as thick as quills, though at least none hit his eyes, a few teeth were missing, he could barely whimper and ducked his face miserably close to the ground, trembling in frustration. Sirius licked his neck in apology, and then butted his shoulder before dancing away.

Moony didn't seem to have much of a care, curling up on the spot, but they were still far too close to the school, and already a few baby teeth were starting to appear, the jaw bone was starting to tremble and try to move itself back into place, and the thorns were shoving back out of his thick fur even as they watched. If he recovered from this too quickly that trick wouldn't work twice and they were still too close to the school.

James pawed the ground desperately while Sirius kept trying to enact a chase, both eyes flickering from tree to tree and think of anything to get him moving before he fully recovered. The answer came in the form of a westacottus.

They only knew what the ugly, helmet shaped head thing was because of Remus. They'd seen these things a dozen times in here, they were scavenger beasts and often found around a freshly killed body. With a rotund belly, long, spindly limbs, large feet, large round ears, and a long, pointed nose, they didn't look like much, but the pests could be plenty fast. One was already skittering too close and making grabbing motions at Moony's fur as his whimpers of pain increased, but the werewolf took a sudden swipe in reprimand with his paw. The creature hopped back, but Moony had finally scented something nobody was going to scold him for hunting.

It was not the magical flesh he so craved, but the little thing was magical in its own right and smelt of it unlike the normal animals still surrounding him. His muzzle still clearly paining him greatly, he got to his feet though and pounced with his claws, only catching the very tip of the things feet as it started racing off and realizing its mistake too late, this was not a creature ready for death, but more than willing to give it back.

By the time the westacottus had evaded its hunter, they were deep into the forest now, and though he tipped his snout back and whimpered as his almost repaired jaw went in search of the tantalizing first smell of freedom, he could not find it amongst the many, very many other things to now explore.

The air of the night was like a drug, not just following Moony, but chasing as well the hoo-hoo's and horklumps, wrestling in the snow, howling and bellowing for their pleasure at anything and everything, the three of them were almost disappointed to see the pink of the sun on the horizon and realize it was about to end.

Moony's jaw still hadn't full repaired itself, but it was in a workable order enough that he finished his first ever kill happily, greedily as the whimpers began, the long dead mooncalf's body had already filled his belly and Remus found himself slumped into the carcass, though thankfully he'd never realize such a thing as the sun and moon lost battles in the sky.

Sadly they should have realized the next few problems. None of them had thought to grab Remus' clothes first off, and winced pitifully and never mentioned it again as Sirius and Peter quickly discarded their cloaks and shirts to cover him while Prongs stayed patiently on his furled up legs getting him on there for a ride back. They had waited far, far too long and given way to much space as they began racing the sunrise, fearing they would not make it back before the matron, not to mention having to throw water from their wands on him sporadically to try and get some of the more obvious blood off him when there were no visible bite or scratch marks on him this time to show what it was.

Remus' jaw flopped loosely from his skull once more, whatever healing the werewolf had given himself had not been carried over and Remus was clearly going to suffer even worse for it, there were even a few bits of bark left in the scrubby youth of an incoming beard, but they'd have to leave that for her to fix as well, they just didn't have time!

The Whomping Willow had only frozen for moments as they slipped in before they'd swear it was doing so again, they were more afraid now than they'd been all night as they flat ran faster than they ever had in their life, dumping their friend unceremoniously on the floor and snatching their clothes off him in motion bolting up the stairs, James and Sirius hiding in the bathroom, even jumping into the tub and pulling the curtain closed while Peter shoved himself into the closet and changed forms.

Hearts thundering, seconds ticking away in their head, they knew they'd only just made it in time as they heard the hatch open and the school nurse tutting in disapproval down below. Hardly daring to breathe, putting their long years of it into practice, they remained quiet and out of sound, but not from Filch as they heard her go up the stairs and collect Remus' clothes from the room, and only allowed a breath of relief when she whispered a spell to get him moving and the door shut once more.

Then they started laughing.

5

For the first time in his life, Remus didn't wake up confused, or hungry. He sat bolt upright in bed, memories flashing through his mind. Of the forest and trees, a very satisfying feeling of satiation, and very large animals prancing around, as delighted at their newfound freedom as he'd been. Most of them were emotionally driven, the clearest of them all was how unconfined he'd felt. He tried to scream, or scoff, and wanted to demand of the nearest living person what was going on, but then a pained stiffness in his jaw and the thick bandages encasing his lower face, all but his nose, already showed why he wasn't.

A muzzle, his mind instantly supplied, hands flying up to gouge his face off if he must, but he would not live like this again-

"Mr. Lupin," Madam Pomfrey's voice was as soothing as the medicine she offered, hurrying over and trying to lower him back to his bed with those same kind, concerned motherly blue eyes. His hands didn't quite fall away, but he forced himself not to keep acting like a frightened child and uneasily sunk back while she smoothed out his hair and checked his bandages. "Just one more hour on that love, you didn't sleep as long as usual, I hoped to take it off before you even noticed. You dislocated your jaw somehow, I'm surprised a whole wall wasn't down around you, but you've much less bites and scratches for it," she finished with a wayward sigh.

His eyes sought out the window, she never kept a clock or even a calendar in here for fear it would only make the students ancy or some tosh, and while the sun was setting he wasn't sure what day. His full moon had been on a Thursday, so he would have slept out Friday, but had he lost is whole weekend as well?

The soreness in his body was also, new, somehow. Not the thrashing beatings he gave himself, not even the familiar transformation pain, this was a new kind of ache in his muscles he'd never quite felt before. The closest approximation he had was his first few weeks at this new school and running around the castle like mad trying to find his way, spending more time than he had in his life traveling corridors.

It couldn't be true, he kept telling himself. They'd never, they must know better than to release him out like that where anyone could get to him.

His body forced him back asleep anyways, but it was not as peaceful this time, he kept twitching awake in the middle of the night and startling himself, at every jump and small noise, but if the others came to visit, they never took the cloak off, and he never could keep his eyes open long enough to be sure.

He was released first thing in the morning and rushed down to breakfast bandage free once more, it was barely twenty four hours after his full moon! He may not have woken up hungry yesterday, but now he was back on a normal schedule his stomach was rumbling. He beat them to breakfast though, even James, and bringing up a tray for each of them was the least he could do with his body feeling so light he could juggle them all.

Their voices were coming from the dorm though when he got close, so he couldn't be too early, though he was mildly disappointed he didn't get to return the favor and demand their wakefulness for once.

"No, no, you're right about that, we'll start a trail next time in advance," James was saying patiently, "I just think it should be something new each time rather than-"

He maneuvered carefully keeping his wand aloft and getting the door open with his other hand, surprising all three as he entered. Sirius' pants dropped to the floor as he fumbled for the buckle, James startled and his shirt fell from his hands, and Peter jumped guiltily and threw something out the open window.

"Morning," he said cheerfully enough, still half tempted to attack hug them like last time, but now he had questions.

"What madness is this?" Sirius demanded, skipping forward still only in his boxers and trying to take all three trays. "Since when do you beat us awake, let alone this?"

"I believe I have you lot to thank for that?" He reminded, he'd been smiling so much lately it was starting to hurt. "Apparently not trying to kill myself means I wake up a bit more well rested, who knew?"

"Um, we did," James said around a mouthful of runny egg, spraying it a bit.

Remus stood there looking at all three of them, just waiting. They were going to tell him, right? And apologize for doing the stupidest thing on top of the stupidest thing ever they'd already done and swear to never do it again.

Right, and Evans was going to marry James. They just went along eating and laughing like this was any other Saturday, arguing about if they should sneak into the Forest or Hogsmeade today was the biggest concern of their life. He should say something, he knew he should, but it's not like he had proof. Maybe it really had just been a dream, after all, maybe now that the werewolf in him had something more pleasant to be doing than trying to kill him, other side affects would pop up besides just odd dreams.

5

January

Remus couldn't decide if he was happy or not about being allowed off of Prefect duties during the holidays. It had nothing to do with Zeta specifically, he kept telling himself, it wasn't even a guarantee she'd go on patrol with him again considering the way he'd hovered last time which had probably freaked her out. The Melano twins had gone home this holiday regardless, but he still found himself asking for some of those healing charms and texts from Sirius they'd stolen so long ago regarding him, and now looking through them for some of her symptoms he'd noticed over the last month.

She still always moved with that slow, painful stiffness in her every bone, trailing behind everyone in the hallways and always with downcast eyes. She didn't eat much, ever. He'd tried, as subtly as he could to approach Ersa about it, but the moment he'd mentioned her sister she'd brushed him off and went chasing after Bless.

He kept side eyeing Evans the entire fortnight, only her and Patricia were left behind this year for their dorm, but what was he supposed to ask of her anyways? He only knew her slightly better than the even quieter Patricia, and it was because of her constant berating of James. 'Hey, does Ersa, whom I know you never talk to anymore than us, ever talk about her sister?' It sounded stupid to his own ears.

The only class he shared with the Ravenclaws was Charms, and certainly her magic wasn't lacking in any noticeable way. Even while speaking softly her voice had a confidence in it he'd noticed before, the only person who picked them up faster was Evans. Her raven had been silenced with the proper spell before the first twenty minutes were up.

Thankfully none of his friends had noticed his preoccupation and joined in, especially Sirius, who still seemed determined to have private moments with every female in this castle at some point. He still hadn't been able to bring himself to ask if he'd hooked up with Zeta yet, he wasn't sure about the answer he wanted to hear.

If he said yes, than Sirius had spent at least some time around her and could have some insight, which was all he wanted! He absolutely was not getting a crush on her. No, he already felt a bit invasive even trying to figure out if there was something wrong with her behind her back, he was no better than his friends constantly going on about his werewolf affliction and their jokes. If there even was anything wrong with her and he was just being paranoid, not wanting to be the only freak in the castle.

5

Buggle had been getting more exercise this year than any before combined as Sirius still went through a pack of cigarettes every two weeks. James and Peter still went home for their holidays but they were due back tomorrow, so Remus played a game all for himself, and suffered the consequences when he had his own late Christmas treat by nicking them from him and hiding the individual fags all around the castle. At least they got quite a lot more work on the map done in James' absence as Sirius went around collecting them all and Remus went with him, cheerfully whistling even as an angry, enchanted oil lamp followed him around all day and kept trying to bash him in the head.

"Prongs is going to laugh himself stupid when he sees that," Sirius told him, barely glancing at his shoddy attempts to draw the corridor they'd just left.

"Ugh, please stop," Remus scoffed for the nickname and ignoring the rest, James would know what he meant.

"You're not even helping, just complaining," Sirius pouted as he spotted another one sticking out of a suite of armors mouth. They were up to the fifth floor now, they could hear the clock tower ticking not far off.

"I told you, there's no such thing as a cool nickname," he huffed.

"You're just trying to hog the nickname to yourself long as you can Moony," Sirius said cheerfully as he shoved the door open.

"You're still not calling me that," he hissed, looking around carefully. Many couples came in here for the most privacy, the machinations of the clock were not silent even as they ran on magic, and the shadows a plenty and wide space in here meant anyone could be hanging around. Thankfully the beautiful stained glass window looking down on the courtyard below was sound proof, so Snape and Evans below laughing in the snow definitely didn't hear a word.

A flash of light was his only warning as he ducked again, the lit, heavy bottom of the lamp trying to smash into his head once more, missing, and went ricocheting off a heavy bolt in the clocks very center.

The little second hand stopped, not even long enough to lose count, before it continued clicking like nothing had happened, and the large black gear swung open.

"Holy hell," the two breathed in surprise, Sirius' collected cigarettes even falling from his fingers as the two rushed forward to see a long, black hole vanishing from sight. The two had a spectacular argument about who actually found this one to climb in first, it was Sirius' cursed lamp and Remus' arse hole nature that had started it all, but they stopped as the lamp made to swing again and Remus dived down first, Sirius quickly joining and cursing him all the way down.

Metal slid uncomfortably along their backside, and ever so slowly began to curve, so that by the time it bottomed out they went shooting a good twelve feet forward and landing on top of each other in a pile that still didn't stop the argument as the lamp chased after them, lighting their way and still having a go at Remus as they ran off once more.

"When's this stupid thing goin to wear off?" he demanded. It was much harder to dodge in this tiny space and he'd already been smacked in the back three times. If Sirius didn't take it off, he was going to explode the stupid thing and send glass shards and twisted metal everywhere, be damned the consequences. However, he was so excited, he didn't sound near as cross as he should have.

"When I say so," Sirius said smugly, "or you can buy me a lifetime's supply of fags when we get back instead of me having to go around to get the rest, your choice."

"I'll take the curse," he huffed, dropping to the floor, and laughing uproariously as it swung and hit Sirius that time.

"Nice try, but a Bludger hits even worse," Sirius huffed as he rubbed at the spot and took off once more. The two were still shoving, laughing, and trying to dodge as they began a set of stairs, and when they finally popped out on the roof of Dervish and Bangs, both slammed the hatch back down without regret.

The secret vineyard they'd discovered behind the building ages ago had a nice, stable vine that they climbed down eagerly and went tearing off once more, uncaring they'd just had a Hogsmeade trip the week before term left out, still racing and hollering at the top of their lungs to no destination until they collapsed together up in one of their many frequented caves in the mountains. Sirius wasn't even lagging despite his new habit this year, the bastard.

"James is going to be livid when he gets back," Sirius panted as he picked up a dusty jug of water, brushing the top off with his sleeve before popping the cap open once more and chugging.

"We'll be lucky if he and Peter don't try to get revenge for finding another without them," Remus agreed as he accepted and took just as long a swig, accidentally finishing it. A quick aguamenti refilled it and he shoved the cap back on and placed it back down for next time, while Sirius was already getting back to his feet from his break.

"Come on, might as well use the one above us now instead of going back."

"That lamp's going to murder me next time you open it then," Remus laughed.

"I'll protect you Moony, remember?" Sirius smirked as he swung himself up and went over to tap his foot on the apparently empty bit of ground, they'd removed the sheet by the end of last year they knew it so well.

"Yes, yes, lord that over me for a lifetime," Remus sighed in agreement, before quickly adding, "and you're not calling me that!"

5

"What do you think Remus, a bicorn or chichevache?" Sirius asked casually as he eyed the pawprint.

Remus bent dutifully to examine it, forcing himself to concentrate on this one practical thing he could answer and stop questioning their every motive. "Bit hard to tell, having the same tracks and all, but I'd hazard a guess at the female, it is smaller, but that could just be a young male, notice the lighter tread in the heel?"

"Not far off from the bicorn one, brilliant," James grinned as he waved Remus on to lead the way. "Lucky for us it's their mating season."

"And why exactly are you three so interested in that all of a sudden?" He asked for the twelfth time. Did they really think he bought their excuse? "If you want to watch two creatures shag, I'm telling you, there's easier ways."

"We're taking an interests in your interests," Peter said sincerely.

"We want to see the ugly creatures known to eat such men and woman," James said a bit more realistically.

"I'm just curious if it'll try to eat us," Sirius snickered. "Prongs isn't even married yet and I'm sure that bicorn will have a go at him. Maybe if we do find that chichevache first it'll mistake Peter for an obedient wife."

"You're an arse," Peter told him sincerely while flipping him off.

Remus went along dutifully, he laughed and joked with them long into the night as they finally spotted what they wanted after many hours of tracking. The bicorn was a beautiful sort of misfortune, the sleek body of a panther, but with cow hooves and horns, and an almost human sort of face, though lacking any intelligence in the eyes. Not quite as obese as the texts promised, not having many kind-hearted and devoted husbands out here in the forest to feed on, but maybe it fed on stray Hogsmeade villagers from time to time.

It was exactly the kind of creature a werewolf, deprived of its preferred prey of witches and wizards, would default to eating in a desperate time. The magical horns were used in many potions, it was a hunter itself and would put up quite a fight.

He watched his friends to see what exactly they planned on doing, put a rope around it? Were they going to tie it up in Hagrid's pumpkin patch until the full moon in two nights and hope he made a bid for that when they set him loose again?

Instead, he watched in fascination as Peter pulled something out of his bag. It sort of looked like a tape recorder, but he and Sirius had worked together to get the muggle contraption functioning in Hogwarts. He hadn't thought a thing about it over the past month, they cobbled things like this together all the time, they still had a mangled radio up in their dorm they were trying to pick up Muggle tunes on.

This one they'd been prioritizing though, and he only realized why now as he pulled the antenna and pointed. He pressed the big red button just as the bicorn roared it's mating call, and hit stop the next moment, tucking it away and not even looking up as the chichevache made her entrance.

Her description was much closer to the texts promise, half the size of the male, thin and wiry, with dry looking nipples on her utters for a lack of young this time of year, no horns to speak of and even a short cows tail in the back, but no less dangerous, as his friends well knew, her jaw could still crush their skulls like an apple. So what they meant by it when James and Sirius darted forward he had not a clue, they usually weren't suicidal enough to go poking the beasts they found in here!

James ran forward first, his wand flashing such a quick severing charm Remus wasn't even sure what he had done until blood sprouted from the poor things rump where her tail used to be and she roared in pain, but Sirius was already in motion as well, as the black dog barked and darted off. The two animals went after him in retribution, while Remus found he couldn't move forward to stop them like he'd been trying to do on instinct and found Peter holding his arm and biting his lip to stop further laughter.

"Souvenir," James told him as he came prancing back, holding it above his head like a trophy.

"What, why?" He demanded, had they really lost their minds? When had he not noticed this?

"What's the big deal?" He shrugged. "You told me people who keep them on ranches dock their tails all the time."

"When they're babies you arse!" He corrected.

The black dog suddenly came galloping into sight with no signs of pursuit, he could barely change back he was drunkenly laughing so much. "Easy as cake," he promised before Remus could even open his mouth. "After your furry arse, those two had nothing on me, didn't even make a scratch!"

It all came together easily in his mind then what their plan was, and he still didn't know if he wanted to hit them or hug them. This was a bad idea, he kept telling himself, something was going to go wrong!

It hadn't yet though, and they'd been right about everything else...

Remus awoke to another of his very many firsts. He was still in the Shrieking Shack. His body pounded with exhaustion, it was the darkest part of the night as the moon and sun went to war, but he felt not a single injury. Peter was sitting by his feet and humming the tune James and Sirius had been belting earlier. He looked as surprised to see him awake as he was.

"Where's-" his voice gave an ugly crack like he'd been swallowing gravel.

Peter patted his knee soothingly, he was still naked beneath the blanket on the living room floor. "I think I saw Hagrid spotting us dragging you in here," Peter shrugged. "He was definitely coming out of the forest and saw something, so they went to head him off and distract him. Don't like leaving you alone though, not until Pomfrey gets here, but hopefully you'll tell her you woke up and dragged this down here mate, just doesn't seem decent to leave you on the floor in the nude, but next time we could always..."

Remus' eyes were already falling back closed, he'd never felt safer in his life.

5

Sev had promised he wanted to do something big this year for her, but she promised right back just a nice quiet evening looking over their latest concoction would be fine. They were currently making adjustments on the Elixir to Induce Euphoria, and just a sip of that with half the improvements would make this the best birthday ever.

"I've been experimenting to counteract that excessive singing," Lily told him happily as he entered, not looking up from the sunset orange-yellow cauldron. "Holly didn't work, so maybe if we try peppermint-"

"Lily," he was already trying to grab the knife away from her. "I told you, I had a surprise for you!"

"And I told you it wasn't needed," she sighed, setting it down anyways. "You've been great the last few years Sev." She'd been wearing the earrings and necklaces sporadically through the years, and still wore the bracelet proudly every day, "but I keep telling you I don't need presents anyways." Mostly because, she'd finally asked over Christmas where he was getting the money for them, those green stones kept getting bigger every year, and he'd flat refused to tell her. It was becoming harder by the day to just ignore all the rumors that went on when he wasn't around her no matter how hard she tried. "Can't we just go back to not giving each other gifts? I still didn't get you one this year, and you promised-"

"I don't mind," he quickly agreed, "and it's nothing like the last few years, you're going to love it!"

Lily sighed but got up and let herself be pulled out, but after only a few paces tugged her hand to pull out of his. He didn't look back, but she felt a bit guilty all the same for the action, like she should be doing more than scolding him for how hard he'd been trying all these years and she hadn't been doing so in kind.

They only walked a bit farther into the dungeons of the castle, to an unused classroom that couldn't be more than a corridor off from the Slytherin dorms she was sure. She was already feeling a little twitchy and uncomfortable being around this place again, which only intensified when he threw a door open impressively and she went inside and saw the place.

Green and silver Slytherin banners hung on all four walls, a serpentine hammock hung on the far corner that looked like it had even been stripped right from a snakes skin also in poisonous green. There was a desk adjacent and the floor was smooth black, reflecting everything up.

"It's your own dorm room, see, right next to mine!" He smiled so brightly she wondered if he'd sampled that Euphoria potion without telling her, but his nose wasn't tweaking. "I don't think the teachers will even care if you don't go back up to that tower, and Slughorn loves you! Even if he catches you in here I bet he won't stop you!"

His smile finally started to dim just a bit when she couldn't think of anything to say. "Ah, sorry I couldn't make it an exact replica, and obviously you can redecorate to however you like."

"Thanks, Sev," her voice cracked, her face felt hot but her chest had an oddly cold chill in it. She tried, really searching in herself for the gratitude, but all she could think of was she'd never be good enough for him. "I'll, um, try to make it down here when I can, and um, avoid the other Slytherin's-"

"Oh you don't have to," he waved that part off impatiently, frowning now as she still sounded funny to her own ears. "I keep telling you Lily, they want to get to know you better."

She didn't believe him, the ones that didn't look at her in disdain just ignored her like everyone else in this castle.

"Erm," her fingers combed uncomfortably through her hair, which was snagged in the earrings she was wearing, which she suddenly realized were green emeralds too. She'd thought nothing of it at the time, they were like her eyes, but she also came to the sudden realization everything he'd gotten her was also green and silver now. She had wanted to be in Slytherin, if she could go back and change it she still would, but this wasn't fixing the past.

Her hand fell and the other came up to tug on the rainbow bracelet, but finally she went over to the desk and just removed the earrings, as well as a few borrowed books from the library on the desk, turning back with a shaky smile.

He beamed, but she didn't return it this time, instead ducking her head and leading the way back to their usual unused class with her cauldron. At least he hadn't tried to move that in there for her. He plopped down on the stool beside her and finished chopping up that peppermint for her, the contents finally turning a bright, high noon sunshine yellow that could only mean it had gotten stronger.

"Brilliant!" He congratulated, turning to pull his book out and scratching out the last line to add this one in.

She finally smiled and started to relax again, at least they were always on even ground in here as she went digging for her own. Just like she'd hoped, the day went calm and peaceful the rest of that evening and she couldn't have been happier just having fun with their experiments.

"Oh, hey, got one last cool thing to show you," he told her as they began packing up, but he kept his book in his hand. He flipped to the very back cover, and pointed eagerly to a bit of writing he'd done on the bottom in his scrawl, This book is the property of the Half-Blood Prince.

Lily burst out laughing. "Now that's the best gift I'll get today," she told him with a grin, "showing pride for your mother like that."

"Really?" He smiled shyly now, and she was starting to appreciate that one more than his showy beaming one. "We've, well, I mean, nicknames have been passed around a bit, and I kind of like it, but I haven't shown anyone else, not like I'll get anyone else to call me that."

"I can call you Prince if you like," she giggled.

"Nah, Sev is fine," he shrugged back, but reached out to hug her, and she returned it, closing her eyes and holding on tight until finally the warning bell rang and forced them apart.

She still didn't go back to her common room with any enthusiasm and only just made it to the portrait hole as the final bell rang while she was saying the password to the fat lady, who reluctantly opened.

Her tardiness had not been enough to avoid Potter, who at least didn't have a present in hand this time, but instead seemed to have stolen someone's cat she didn't recognize. It was a beautiful calico, the orange and black of its fur swirling together with lamp like green eyes, but massive, twice the size of one she'd ever seen anyone else have. He jumped to his feet upon seeing her and holding it gingerly as he approached.

"Evening Evans," he said brightly. "Got my friend to nick this from Kettleburn, I'll give it back in the morning, but I thought for your birthday you'd like to sleep with a kneazle! They're just like cats, but super intelligent, and watch, I've already got this gal trained to-"

"No, Potter," she told him, already feeling exhausted just by being back in his presence, and her face felt hot again for reasons beyond her. "What makes you think I'd want anything to do with something your arse stole? I just want to get to bed."

"Oh," his smile only stuttered for a moment, he released the beast and it fell to the ground with an unfriendly yowl and darted under the nearest chair. Then he ruffled up his hair and grinned as he cast his eyes around, but she didn't wait for more as she went up her stairs alone.

5

February

"Hey Remus," Hue Grakin waved cheerfully as they met at the last staircase on the ground floor for their patrols. Remus admittedly sometimes forgot his last name, or swapped it with Henry Miller's, though the two looked nothing alike they acted as close as brothers as James and Sirius did, it was still weird to see one without the other even on patrols. Hue was tall and lean with dark blonde hair in a swave, messy kind of spikes and almost purple shaded eyes in the right light.

"Hello," he said back cheerfully, if sort of awkwardly. They'd had a few pleasant exchanges in Herbology, mostly laughing at Sirius' misfortune together, but the two Hufflepuff boys were more James' friends than anything. He certainly didn't feel the need to ask when he'd looked at the chart this month why he was meeting him down here rather than Mary, or Zeta for that matter, no reason at all.

"Gemma and I broke up," he supplied anyways as they started walking. He was taking his job thoroughly, opening every door they passed down here and keeping his wand lit on every corner. "Just two weeks ago, didn't want it to be awkward, didn't think you'd mind."

"Not at all," he lied.

"Heard from James you were great at DADA, the best in your group," he kept going now. "Mind offering me some pointers, though I'm sure every blokes tried that to impress Professor Liz. Man, ain't she something? I swear I didn't hit puberty until she walked into our class. Henry's got this mad plan to write her a novel- oi, we haven't checked this class yet," he said pointedly as Remus tried to go off down a side corridor.

"Right, sorry," Remus sighed, but dutifully followed along and listened to him all night. Hue didn't need much assistance, but he wasn't awful or anything, it was easy to see why he got on with James so well as he swapped from school, he'd learned a new spell from Aubrey Bertram who had just come back to school this past semester, to quidditch and the league runnings, to some of the new bands he was branching into listening and even trying to learn to play some instrument. Remus just couldn't seem to find a mood for his company for some reason.

5

His times after the full moon were going much better now a days, but he still felt exhausted and short tempered in the days leading up. Friday evenings double potions sounded like a torture show as he dithered in the great hall with his friends, pretending he wasn't tempted by their offers to just go lie down now.

"Atria will lend me her notes, no problem," Peter was gently cajoling, trying to prod him to the wrong staircase like he wouldn't notice.

"None of us are going to pass that class anyways, it's not a big deal," James grinned, ignoring Peter's aggrieved look he was the only reason they were passing that class.

"Come on Moony, you're just going to fall asleep down there anyways," Sirius wheedled.

It was working, the bastards, he yawned instead of telling Sirius off for calling him that again.

"Yes, alright, we can skiv this one class," he grumbled, letting a group of Slytherin's pass them by, eyes already dragging shut and not even registering which ones until far too late.

"Can you believe those idiot's have their own yes man?" Snape's cold, quiet voice carried as he began the first steps, trailing behind Avery and Mulciber to sneer at them.

Remus' eyes snapped back open, James and Sirius barely registered what he'd said before his wand flashed in hand and he snapped, "langlock!" while other students were still trailing out of lunch and got to watch.

Students burst out laughing all around, somehow a circle forming so that one could see from all angles as Snape kept trying to open his mouth, but his own tongue seemed fused to the roof of it.

Mulciber and Avery shoved him out of the way as they drew their own wands, but Remus' retaliation had been a signal they'd taken to with grace, their's already in hand and squaring off for a duel, blocking the other two from sight as Peter grabbed Remus' elbow and pulled him back into the crowd.

Spells began going haywire in all directions, many students realized their mistake far too late and tried running, and most didn't seem to care, ducking and still hooting joyfully for the show that was ended only moment too late regardless as teachers came out of lunch as well and began issuing detentions and house point deductions in all directions to send them all away, several teachers missing the opportunity as they plucked up students who couldn't move to either help the injuries or get them along to the hospital wing.

"Come on Moony, let's scarper," Peter whispered, and Remus still reluctantly let himself go as he watched the two be told off relentlessly for his actions, but neither seemed particularly bothered anymore than ever. Evans came jogging up from the potions classroom at last to see it all and grabbed her best friend, promising him a trip to safety and shooting James disgusted looks as she shoved past them without even seeing the pair. The chaos was such, he didn't even get detention for his nap. He really didn't know what he'd done to deserve them.

5

She and Sev had been having a nice chat down behind the greenhouses, swapping the jar of blue fire back and forth to warm their hands while taking turns picking the ingredients Sprout had given them permission to use. They weren't supposed to be out here long, they hadn't even brought gloves and were only wearing light sweaters, so both were hogging the flames a bit while the other worked.

Potter and his idiot friends ruined it with their mere presence, coming right out of the Forbidden Forest like it wasn't called that for a reason a dozen feet off, laughing and shoving each other with what she'd swear was the shedding of a boomslang.

She turned dismissively away, refusing to wonder what they could need such a thing for, but Sev watched them with narrowed eyes behind a clump of cobra lily's. They didn't appear to have been spotted at least and weren't bothered for it this time.

"I've a new theory," he told her, like them popping up made it less annoying to broach this rather than him randomly doing so. She cursed their mere presence just killed any good mood.

"Well save it Sev, I've told you to stop following them all over the place," she huffed, so annoyed she nearly sheered off her finger rather than the plants clipping.

"Yes, but you'll like this one, it explains how they're such idiots," he told her grandly with that smug smile.

Lily closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before opening them and continuing her work, maybe if she didn't acknowledge him on this he'd just let it go.

He didn't. "See, they're always sneaking around stealing everything that's not nailed down, right, and so what if they're illegally trading in dragon claw and got their hands on the real stuff and now they're addicted, I bet they'd get expelled for that-"

"Severus!" She snapped, letting the scissors fall from her hands in exasperation as she whirled on him. "Why do you care? Can't you just let it go?"

"Because, they're so full of themselves, they should be taken down a few pegs," he snapped back, watching her carefully. "How many times did Potter ask you out this month?"

She just glared at him without answering, she'd whined about it often enough he knew anyways.

"Just finish yourself," she finally huffed, bending down to collect what she had. "I'm going to start stewing these, meet me down there when you're done with your obsession."

She stalked along the tree line rather than following their footsteps in the snow back to the castle, she'd take a detour to avoid them any day, hoping to lead by example.

Her thoughts were a tangled mess, her hands trembling so much in frustration she was sure she left a few scattered leaves behind since she couldn't seem to get her fingers into her sweater pouch for warmth. Sev didn't come after her, again.

"Nyxie! Pspspspsp, come on girl, it's freezing!"

Lily looked around in confusion, she wasn't used to being in the shade of the forest this long and her eyes stung a bit looking right at the bright powdered snow now, but finally just ahead she saw a disturbed pile of discolored slush with Mary Macdonald at the bottom of a tree looking longingly up. Tipping her head farther back, she just made out the shiny black fur of her troublesome cat high in the branches.

She tried to tell herself it wasn't her problem and meant to keep going, but then she heard an odd mrawr right above her, and looked up to see Nyx had jumped trees and was now directly above her, scenting the air and looking right at her curiously. Lily clutched her leaves and wondered at the properties of this plant, did it act as a sort of catnip? They were going to use it to try and dial down the effects of an adrenaline potion, the user was definitely too hyper for the effects to be worth it.

"Oh, Lily," Mary waved and looked very relieved for the company as she joined her, and there was just no escaping this now. "Would you mind terribly staying here, just for a moment, and tell me if she moves?" She held her hands up pleadingly in front of her face even. "If I could just find Bless or Ersa before she takes off again, they'll get her down for sure."

"Err, I mean," Lily was very tempted to ask why Mary didn't just go up there and do it herself, but it felt rude. "I could get her," she finally offered.

"Oh, are you sure?" She looked so surprised Lily felt a tad insulted, was she really that bad to her own dorm mates? Just because they didn't talk much didn't mean she'd leave a cat up a tree, she spent as much time cuddling the two felines as the owners when she could.

"Of course," she said briskly now, "I'll have her down in a jiffy."

Latching onto the nearest branch, she had herself scaled up easily enough, it was no more difficult than the one in her backyard at home. This tree was even easier, it had a fellow right next to it, branches overlapping made the climb a breeze. The cat thankfully stayed in place, whiskers twitching upon her approach, the problem arose when she was almost in reaching distance and bent forward to grab her, when she felt an odd pull along the hem of her shirt, and a jabbing right in between her shoulder blades.

Heart immediately stuttering in fear and at once remembering vividly where they were, she tried to turn and see what had hear, a scream already building in place if something from this mad forest was going to kill her, but then there was a great tearing noise, and her back suddenly felt a very sharp, cold breeze.

The leaves went fluttering to the ground, Nyx giving chase and batting at a few as they floated to the bottom of the trunk where Mary snatched her up at once.

"Thank you so much Lily! I really owe you, oh," she looked up and frowned. Lily's face was turning as red as her hair. "Erm, Lily, I can, ah, see your-"

"Yeah, I can feel that," she tried to keep her tone even. "Mind, ah, coming up and getting the branch before I rip the rest of my shirt off?"

"I, um, I'm," Mary turned as tomatoey as Lily felt, and Lily now realized she had a very good guess what she'd walked upon in the first place. It actually explained quite a few instances, now that she thought of it, if Mary was afraid of heights but her cat certainly wasn't.

"Err, never mind," Lily said quickly.

"Well I'm not just going to leave you up there!" Mary said at once. "Here, let me go put Nyx in a room, I'll lock the door and go find help, okay."

"No, Mary," Lily tried to plead, the last thing she wanted was Bless and Ersa getting a laugh out of having to rescue her for the next few years, but Mary was already jogging off.

Lily huffed and squared her shoulders, a bad idea as she felt another few inches get exposed, and tried to get her wand out of her pants pocket, but even this small motion caused the branch in the hook of her bra to twinge painfully against her back now and her shirt tore up another few inches. She truly was stuck unless she wanted to shirk it off entirely and go up to the tower in her skivvies. If only she could turn invisible.

She hung her head miserably and wished she'd gotten to those NEWT level Charms already, a good Disillusionment Charm would fix this problem. She knew of an invisibility potion of course, but the effects weren't nearly long lasting enough to get her up to the tower. That would definitely be her next project then, she'd have to see about what ingredients needed inflation first before she started counterbalancing them-

"Evans?"

"No," she whispered in horror, anyone but him!

It wasn't Potter, but her mistake had been genuine, since they were always so around each other. No, instead it was Black, which was possibly even worse now that she could see his mostly confused but already teasing smile lighting up at her.

"What'cha doing up there?" He asked in a sing-song kind of voice that made her think of her sisters awful shrieks.

"Having a gay old time!" She snapped at once. "Piss off!"

He was already laughing and hauling himself into the first branch before she finished, his annoying voice grating on every single one of her nerves as he easily got himself level with her in record time and reached over to begin pulling carefully.

"I swear if you make a pass at me, I'll-"

"Please Evans, I have some decorum," he huffed, sounding as insulted as she felt as the tearing noise continued one last time, but finally that little nub in her back vanished, and she nearly fell out of the tree she was so surprised to be free.

His hand instantly flew towards her, despite the fact he wasn't even hanging onto the tree himself for support but hugging a flimsy bit of wood with his knees. She gave the digits a withering look and got herself carefully to the ground, now trying to turn this way and that to inspect the damage, but her sweater seemed to have come away in tact enough she wouldn't be flashing the whole school if she awkwardly held it closed.

He landed beside her with a swirl of fluff and gave her a roguish smile as he smoothed out his hair. "Like me to fix that for you? Re-"

"No!" She snapped, going even more red with fury she hadn't thought of that as she pulled her own wand out to do just this.

Black truly had the most insufferable grin on the planet as he mocked her, "Don't worry, I'll be sure to tell James I was your knight in shining armor for the day."

She resisted the urge to curse him by the smallest amount considering he did get her out of a jam that she still partially wanted to blame him for, everything bad always seemed to happen around his lot. Instead she stocked off to the castle, ignoring Mary and anyone else the rest of the day.

5

March

Remus still swore Peter was following him under the cloak, despite the fact he'd said every way he could it wasn't him who signed up to have patrol's with Atria tonight. Peter had been weirdly paranoid and on edge lately, watching everything even more than usual though he hadn't thought that possible, and Remus had been not so secretly delighted about this even if he hadn't lied about being the one to initiate it, here was a ready excuse to get to know her better.

They met up on the third floor in front of the charms classroom, her wild black hair still the most prominent thing about her in the flickering candlelight. She had a heavy set brow casting permanent shadows over her brown eyes and an oddly pointed nose that bent slightly towards her lips. She still smiled kindly, if uneasy as he approached with a little wave.

"Evening," she offered for a greeting.

"Good to see you," Remus smiled as they went off peaceably. "Heard you came up with that idea to talk Flitwick into games day yesterday during Charms club, thanks for that."

"Oh, it wasn't hard," she laughed off. "He's an old softy, and it's a great way to help learn the Crura Lignea."

"Racing teacups though, it's brilliant," Remus persisted, causing her to blush a bit. 

"Yes, but I think in the future I'll just levitate a sugar bowl if I need it," she agreed, pausing at an intersection. "Erm, thanks for doing this with me Remus." She met his eyes steadily for a moment before they dropped back to the ground. "I'll go right if you go left?"

"Oh, alright," he shrugged, trying to make it as clear as he could while he went off this didn't bother him a bit.

She didn't seem all that shy, he kept toying around in his head, more just a loner. She'd been seen hanging around Aubrey less and less, he'd absently noticed, but he would have thought it was because she and Peter seemed to be getting closer lately, he'd been having a lot of time away from them lately. He wondered if he should just ask Peter, maybe even go to the next Charms club or something if he wanted to get to know her better instead of acting like Sirius and just sussing everything out the back way, but wondered if that would annoy him. Sirius was still asking every fortnight or so if he'd slept with his girlfriend yet, and while James just laughed and Peter pretended to ignore them, it really was no wonder Peter never let her around them.

5

"Pass me that wrench, would you Prongs?" Sirius asked without looking up, one hand still carefully holding a bolt in place, the other holding his wand at the ready.

"Err," James muttered, looking up from his essay over the Limbo Mist at the array of tools in front of him. He was pretty sure he knew which the hammer and saw were...

"Come on mate, we had a test over this last month, surely you did too," Sirius sighed, shaking his head so much a few loose strands came out of the bun he had it up in.

"Cheated off of Henry," he admitted. "Evans didn't think it that interesting when I told her I was going to be a handyman."

"It's too bad you couldn't be a woodsman then, maybe she'd fall at your feet instead of mine," Sirius cheerfully teased.

"Must you have told the whole school about that?" James huffed, resisting the urge to whack him over the head with the hammer. He'd use the blunt end rather than the pointy end at least. "You know she hates me already, that didn't help!"

"You should have seen her face, it was hilarious," Sirius told him with no regrets.

"Yeah, but now your favorite make-out spot's been ruined, as you keep informing me," James rolled his eyes.

"Oh for the love of, here, hold this," he had him switch jobs instead, and James more than happily leaned forward to replace Sirius' hand on the bolt while he fished up the right one. "Where the hell is Wormtail? I won't know if it's working right without him up here, we could just pick up the wireless downstairs again."

James just shrugged, they had Quidditch practice soon and both their friends knew that, they were probably down in the library or something. Once Sirius had gotten the bolt on right, he left the back exposed and immediately began tapping the old thing with his wand while fidgeting with some wires in the back. Nothing but static came through, but as James turned back to his homework he tried to encourage at least that was better than picking up his mum's favorites this time, like they needed to hear another rendition of Something in the Blood by Shafiq again. Sirius had ripped out an important looking gear himself to get it to stop last time.

Sirius finally gave it up and put it away carefully as his clock began to buzz a warning, he was going to regret spending his free time on this later over his Charms homework he was sure, and annoyed James greatly as he grumbled about this on the way out of the portrait hole.

"Oh look, Peter!" James seemed to scoop him out of thin air Sirius was sure, dragging him along away from the Fat Lady.

"Don't you guys have Quidditch practice?" He asked distractedly.

"We're on our way, going to hang around in the stands to watch?" He asked, giving him a small shake.

"Err, no, not tonight," he muttered.

"What's with you?" Sirius huffed, letting his hair loose so he could retie it up. "My radio's never going to get finished at this rate, and don't get me started on our map! We've only got the one floor left, ours, and we can't find you or Moony lately, you two are the best at picking up details for Prongs to draw!"

"I," Peter opened, then closed his mouth, finally shaking out of James' arm. "I'm going to meet Atria actually, she's falling behind in Astrology. You two have fun."

He went back off, and the two exchanged aggrieved looks.

"And they call us the girl crazy ones," James huffed.

Their practice ran as long as ever, Vosper was a true maniac, but they were laughing on their way back up for their good chances at the cup at least and absolutely convinced history wasn't going to repeat itself and they were going to demolish Hufflepuff in tomorrow's game.

Remus was up in the dorm reading one of his own personal books, the bastard had already finished all of his homework and it was still Friday!

Sirius threw himself across his knees, and pouted Remus didn't even look up. "Hey Moony," he began pleasantly. He was ignored, though Sirius would swear on his life his lips twitched. "So, you know that fascinating paper we have due on Monday-"

The door opened, pre-annoying him at the interruption, and he looked up to see Peter coming in.

"Hey guys," he finally seemed ready to say what was on his mind, he threw his bag across the room but stayed in front of the door, but they didn't even look up. Sirius was now wiggling to try and get Remus to look at him without actually taking the book away, and James was putting away his broom and eyeing his bed longingly. "Erm, I promised I wouldn't tell until- but um, Atria is-"

"What, did you two finally do it?" Sirius huffed, his head right in Remus' lap now, Moony was biting his lip to stop from laughing.

When Peter failed to answer that, all three did look at him, to see him blushing a bit and trying to stammer, "well, yes, but that's not what-"

Sirius burst out laughing so exuberantly he finally dislodged Remus' book and James gave him a congratulatory salute.

"Yeah, thanks," he rolled his eyes. "She's-"

"She's not pregnant is she?" Sirius demanded, still snickering like a loon. "I'm too young to be an Uncle!"

"No, it's her-"

"I don't think you can get pregnant on Hogwarts grounds," Remus couldn't help but jump in with an amused smile at Sirius. "Otherwise the Hospital Wing would have to be turned into a maternity ward, as many scandalous things go on around here."

"Ooh, scandalous! You're such a priss Moony," James burst out laughing.

"Atria is-" Peter tried one last time without any real hope.

"Well don't give us too much details mate, that would just make it weird," James was still chuckling as well as he started changing clothes. "Congrats though, hope you had fun!"

"How many times? How long ago?" Sirius persisted, and Peter finally gave up and just went off to bed. Remus shoved Sirius off of him and tried to catch Peter's eye in apology.

"Come on mate, what was up?"

"I quit Charms Club, alright," he muttered, hitting his pillow and slamming into bed still fully clothed. "Wasn't doing me any good."

"Right, yeah, so you didn't answer," Sirius tried again, but Remus used his own pillow to whack him while Peter pulled the hangings around his bed.

5

"Padfoot," Remus finally relented, the pain of saying such a stupid word as a name was almost worth it as he brightened up and looked up at him. "Are you listening to me? Right now, the words I am saying."

"Yes, of course Moony!" He beamed at him.

Remus finally resisted the impulse to roll his eyes at the stupidity, he didn't even glance around the crowded common room to make sure nobody heard and gawked at him in a new, horrible understanding. If they hadn't by now, they really probably wouldn't. "Padfoot, what are you not going to get me for my birthday tomorrow."

"Well, not a watch, obviously, since you're not turning seventeen or anything." Sirius nodded seriously.

"And?"

"And, not a homework planner, because no one's that lame." Sirius shrugged, frowning down at his own potions text.

"Sirius, repeat after me." Remus enunciated every word. "I am not getting you a rabbit tomorrow."

"I am not getting you a rabbit tomorrow," he parroted cheerfully as he circled an ingredient.

"Thank you," Remus sighed.

He should have known it was too good to be true.

"What the hell happened to, I won't get you a bunny this birthday!"

"I didn't, I got you two." Sirius beamed as he held them proudly under his arms, sitting cross legged on the end of his bed.

"I'm going to kill you-"

"See, this one's named Babbity," he patted the white one on the head, squashing the other one against his arm pit as he moved awkwardly, "and this one's named Scarlett," he gave the other a scratch on the bum, Babbity already trying to break free. Scarlett was even a familiar fluorescent red.

"Not Moony, just to clarify, I mean me, right now, when I get up, I am going to kill you."

"They're twins, obviously, did you know you're not actually supposed to give them just carrots?" Sirius kept babbling on cheerfully. "They enjoy a whole range of fruits and veggies, it was very fascinating stuff, we could slip them the shite I don't like under the table! I went and looked up some stuff this time, and maybe we can pay James to take care of them over the summer." He looked so pleased with himself at the end Remus almost didn't have the heart to hit him. Almost. He still avoided the rabbits as much as he could as he swung his pillow.

Sirius squealed and bent protectively over Scarlett while Babbity made a run for it, Remus hitting him every which way to try and smother his own laugh.

He couldn't pretend at the vengeful feelings much longer anyways as he ran out of steam and Sirius looked back up with a prideful smile while feathers floated around them.

"Why can't you just buy me a stuffed rabbit like a normal person?" Remus sighed as the bright red creature was placed in his lap.

"Now where would be the fun in that?" Sirius asked.

Remus gave him an obvious look and grabbed his wand from his bedside, tapping the color and saying, "Finitie."

"Wait," Sirius pouted, but too late, Scarlett transfigured back into Sirius' favorite sweater.

"Now fix the other one back so we can go to breakfast," Remus laughed.

"One of these days you'll thank my generosity," he huffed, giving a wave of his own as Peter's slippers went back to normal.

5

The Marauders had discovered something no text or person had ever bothered to speak of. Werewolves learned.

Moony wasn't happy about it by any means and still looked longingly towards the castle when released, even taking a few tentative steps like he hoped this time they wouldn't stop him, but they did. One sharp bark of reprimand from Sirius and a warning nudge from the prongs of the deer, and Moony went scenting for other pray, made readily available to be found right on the forest's edge for him, and he took off. An occasional fight still broke out from time to time, Padfoot pushing too far and annoying Moony, who still clearly considered himself the alpha and had no qualms putting the other in his place to remind him, and there were a few nasty instances where he did come across a human trail, often times fresh from a student besides them having a poke around here, but any time he began that kind of hunt, he was reprimanded. Bit, and pushed away, and somehow, Moony seemed to understand if he persisted, he'd get put back up.

Most common of these to fear were Hagrid's, but for the animagus' sake. For some reason Moony didn't even seem to have a care for him, sometimes faster at avoiding him than them, something about his scent he definitely didn't have a care for that fueled him on pure instinct to avoid.

So he'd spin and gallop off for something else he could attack, and there was plenty of that in the forest.

The abundance of centaurs, a problem they hadn't considered in their mad planning, were luckily not in danger at all, their human half or horse half, but it didn't make that first encounter any less thrilling.

An arrow tip had twanged, nicking Padfoot's ear tip and thwacking into the tree in between Prongs' antlers. Moony had reared up on instinct, snarling and acknowledging a problem his senses had previously dismissed. The centaur was still too far away to even be seen by any of them, and while Padfoot and Prongs skittered in concern, Moony began taking a few threatening steps on his hind legs still sniffing the air for this new challenge in the right direction.

The centaur came into the moonlight proper, arrow still knocked, watching them in a way that made it all to clear he could see the the intelligence in their eyes. He was young, maybe their age with only scruffy facial hair, the pinto coat pattern lost in the darkness. He did not speak, and none of them would have dared change back to bother, but the meaning was clear. They were not welcome. They may have even started a full out war if they'd tried to ever get closer to the heavy scents of more centaurs, young foals just visible in the dense forest beyond.

Moony cared nothing for the implied threat, when no further challenge arose he fell back to all fours much to their relief. Centaurs carried no magic in their blood, and the unique scent of horse would be as unappealing to him as Prongs despite the human flesh half, but if this particular one had continued attacking, their friend may have killed him just to prove he could. For now, he took off again.

He was still dangerous, they kept laughing and reminding each other as they collected their books for class, but he was intelligent in the same way Nyx the cat was as she darted out under their feet, always knowing they were the first ones awake in the morning and had a good chance getting past them now. Not mindless though. They had discovered something earth shattering, and couldn't wait for that fateful day they'd share it with the world.

But not yet, as they laughed off anyone, and there were very few, who bothered to ask where Lupin was today with their own quick excuses. Missed this class to snog a girl, skived that lesson for an extended bathroom break, oh he was acing this class anyways, didn't you know?

Their secret burned fiercely bright in their hearts as Remus joined them faster than ever by the end of the day now, as giddy and full of excitement as them.

5

Remus bit at his lip the last week of the month in front of the prefects schedule, telling himself it wasn't too forward to assign his name next to Zeta's for next week, nobody had signed up to do the fifth floor yet. The other prefects had been doing it willy nilly all year and nobody had stopped them. She hadn't yet herself though, and he was absolutely not obsessing over why.

He chickened out at the last second, abandoning the quill in the inkpot as he darted off for James' birthday evening and telling himself over and over as he flew back up the stairs he wasn't being a coward, he just wasn't sure what to say to her yet.

They were already up in their dorm, James basking in the center of attention at all of the wrapping paper at his feet and giggling with delight as Sirius hung off his arm while they both inspected his new art set. Remus hadn't asked his mum to send any money this year to buy him a present, but he didn't seem to mind, beckoning him over.

"This is going to be great, I'm drawing a portrait of the four of us!" James crooned, the place almost immediately covered in glitter, glue, and glitter-glue while he swapped out markers and colored pencils in such rapid succession he'd stain his fingers a rainbow of colors for weeks. "You're going to love it Moony, I showed you those sketches of Wormtail when he hissed at those crups-"

"I can't believe you let them call you that," Remus told Peter, who was working quietly on a puzzle in his bed.

"-and Padfoot standing on top of that waterfall-"

"That's not even a nickname, just a feature of his body," Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'm still tempted to change in front of our favorite mirror to get a full look at myself, none of the mirrors in the shack or the bathroom are big enough to see my prongs!"

"Your head doesn't need the extra space," Remus sighed.

"Stop being so grumpy Moony," Sirius chuckled, going back over to his Muggle Studies homework. He had five different books on their laws all spread out and had been spending a weird amount of time on this particular essay, he couldn't imagine why their child welfare acts intrigued him in particular.

Remus finally gave up, it's not like he could really stop them from ever doing anything they wanted.

5

April

Several people muttered their displeasure over breakfast as they were pelted from rain by the morning owls swooping in. Sirius suddenly found his bacon far chewier than he had moments ago and harder to swallow than it should be as a black owl swooped in, but sought out Regulus and deposited a gift in his lap.

He turned sharply away from the sight and instead found himself far more interested in what the others were doing rather than his breakfast now, it still had a funny after taste, he'd have to ask the house-elf's about that.

Remus had some notes for their Care of Magical Creatures class propped up on his pumpkin juice, stirring the dregs of his cereal absently. Sirius wasn't looking forward to being drowned on outside and turned to the side to see James trying to engage Evans, again, offering to teach her the repelling charm to keep the weather off her face. She kept threatening to use it on him instead, which Prongs didn't seem to be believing for some reason.

Then a couple of flecks of rain and the smell of wet feathers had all three of them looking up as a school owl descended on them, and landed in front of Peter. He smiled as he got the damp letter off and fed it the rest of Sirius' bacon in thanks as he tucked it into his clothes.

"Who's that from?"

Peter jolted in surprise, while Sirius looked in annoyance from his empty plate to him. He might have finished it later, odd taste and all.

"Oh, erm," he began with a small, uneasy frown, but James interrupted.

"Got a secret admirer or something? You've been getting a lot of mail lately, surely Atria's getting jealous."

"Well, actually," Peter was really scowling now, but Sirius huffed and grabbed Moony's notes away as the bell rang.

"Whatever it is, your on your own for that mate. I've been banned from giving advice about girls apparently."

"I wasn't going to ask," Peter shot at them as they left.

"No, Sirius, you're not, you should have brought an umbrella, we don't even have-" Remus was really fighting now to get his notes back as Sirius held them over his head and made for the front doors, but while Sirius tried to laugh mercilessly and take off backwards to flip him off, he ran smack into someone.

Said someone shoved him hard, and he went careening down the front steps anyways.

He landed in a very confused mess looking at the gray sky, being pelted with the drops while the papers scattered around him, but Remus knelt over him in concern, so at least Sirius knew where his real priorities were.

"It was Mulciber," he told as he offered Sirius a hand, which he gratefully took.

"Arsehole," Sirius needlessly huffed as he went around to collect the papers.

"Yeah, but Ersa and Bless saw and swear if we want to tell Slughorn they'll back us up," Remus sighed.

"Nah, I've got something better," Sirius shrugged as he handed them back, perfectly dry.

"How, when did you," he stopped and shook his head, the rest of them wasn't being spared and he made to go back under the school, Sirius following in confusion. "Class was canceled by the way, girls told me. Poor Kettleburn's apparently caught that flu."

"Quidditch practice was cancelled tonight cause of that too," Sirius cheered. "Even Vosper can't escape Pomfrey, isn't that nice to know."

James and Peter were just exiting the Great Hall and spotted the two still lazing about. James had to grab Peter's bag to pull him over and call with far too much excitement, "skiving today?"

Even though it wasn't true Remus glanced around sheepishly while Sirius explained.

"Sweet," James exalted, "well let's pretend our teachers conveniently got sick too and-"

"I'm not skipping Runes!" Peter suddenly snapped, getting his bag away. Then he stalked off for the stairs without explanation.

"He's in a bad mood lately," Remus frowned after him.

"Let him sulk," Sirius huffed. "What were you saying Prongs?"

"Finish the map," he sighed, watching Peter as well but turning back with fresh excitement. "We've got everything labeled and six secret entrances to Hogsmeade mapped out, I can't imagine it getting any better. Now we've just got to look up those advanced spells Moony mentioned."

"I bet they're a piece of cake to us by now anyways," Sirius laughed in delight. "We'll have everyone being tracked in this school by yours truly by sundown!"

"Because that's not a terrifying prospect," Remus chuckled as he followed them.

There wasn't a single free table available in the library, between students prepping for exams and a few others free of their morning class, so they collected a few promising tombs and began lugging them up to the tower instead. Thankfully they knew a handy shortcut that would half the time, scratching at a dragon's belly in a picture just down the hall opened up a secret set of stairs that would let out on the sixth floor.

Rain was lashing against the windows with such ferocity now it was a real wonder if the weather had forced the latch open or Peeves had done it as a prank to flood the place. Their shoes were wet in seconds and the grand staircase was on the next corridor.

James and Sirius actually stopped to start arguing about the merits of putting up charms to keep them dry on the walk over while Remus waved his wand to close the window and prop the books more comfortably on his hip as he leaned against the wall to wait them out, eyes travelling along with boredom.

They'd already mapped this area in detail of course, the only thing of interest was an ugly statue, a man in blue sailors clothes, pompous hat, tassels and all, a triangular nose, with ginger hair and beard holding a harpoon. He didn't even remember his name, though James had definitely signed it with a flourish. It wasn't doing anything, but for some reason when his eyes went to the corners to keep an eye out for a teacher as James was out of class, his eyes kept flickering back to it.

Remus was starting to get restless, he wished Peter were here so he could at least be playing a silent bet with him who would win, but the two finally seemed to have come to some decision and went tromping off into the water proper, splashing more about. Remus didn't even notice if they'd put charms on themselves or not, he gave the statue one last odd look, he'd swear it moved an inch.

It wasn't until they reached the end and were turning the corner did it finally click. He turned and leapt back around, but he was definitely right, Peter would be laughing himself stupid none of them had noticed. The statue had moved! It used to be three feet to the left, right where the puddle of water hadn't quite managed to lap the rest of the floor yet.

He ran forward in excitement, Sirius and James right behind him, but the moment their wet heels started spraying water near it, the statue went scooting away from them.

"Oh, we have definitely found something," Sirius murmured in excitement.

"That's Glanmore Peakes," James said eagerly. "Famous for having slain the Sea Serpent of Cromer." If only they could make OWL flash cards out of Chocolate Frog information, he'd pass everything with flying colors.

"Aguamenti," Remus said without anymore preamble, splashing water right into the face, and the head swung open, revealing a long, metal tunnel beneath. Cheering and high-fiving in congratulations, they dumped the books unceremoniously to the ground and went zipping right in.

"You don't think these tunnels flood do you?" James asked in concern once they'd reached the stairs and heard the wet smack of their shoes, he was already swiping at his hair as he'd swear he felt more leaking from above.

"I'm positive they're magically protected from the worst of it," Remus shrugged as he reached his hand out tentatively now, not wanting to smack his head on this one. He was rewarded for his carefulness by Sirius prodding him impatiently and smacking his fingers against a new latch moments later, throwing it open, and spitting rain water out miserably as they were now shivering in a deluge of water.

Undeterred, all three of them crawled out, and found themselves in an alleyway behind Ceridwen's Cauldrons. You wouldn't even notice the patch of ground they'd come out of if you walked over it a thousand times, all of them could attest to.

"Brilliant," Sirius clapped him on the back, already trying to jump back down, tonight was not going to be an exploratory search again apparently.

"Great job Moony," James agreed.

Remus didn't need to be told twice, going with them and having to fight wind now to get it back closed. They shivered and dried themselves best they could as they warmed themselves and went back to the common room in high spirits after collecting their dripping books.

It still took James until the end of the week to mark what he declared as the penultimate copy. "It wouldn't surprise me if there were more than seven," he kept reminding them as he detailed everything to pristine care under Peter's watchful eye, "but we can always do the spell again! Just duplicate the parchment and add in another layer if I have to. There!" He declared with a flourish on a bright, crisp new bit of parchment, scrawling across the front in his neat quill The Marauder's Map.

Taking a deep, eager breath, James unfolded it before reciting, "Revelio Homenum."

All four of them eagerly bent forward, and gasped as one, "woah!" All at once, the place was flooded with little black dots, names in James' miniscule neat writing following each. Some were in such a tangled mass, such as in classrooms, the library, and especially the Great Hall, it was impossible to pick out one each, and they were sure the towers would be just as bad once the place was at full capacity, but for now their lone four dots hovered distinguishably.

"I'm definitely going to have to redo some of these," James whispered, picking it up in wonder and pressing it right to his nose, wet ink clinging to him as he tilted it in the light. "Um, expand some the classrooms, no point if we can't read them, and ah-"

"Just, bask for a moment what we did and shut up Prongs," Sirius leaned against his arm, Peter on his other side, all four of them crowding as close together as they could while they watched their masterpiece.

5

Some of the learning curves on their map were more obvious than others. Mrs. Norris needed her own charm to be followed. They instantly knew they didn't want to just leave it lying around for anyone to see, but adding in the charm to only activate at their desired phrase was too much for the poor bit of parchment on top of the heavy magic and it burst into flames. James giddly redid the whole thing again and they had to be a bit more careful and selective with what they chose to say, the longer the better it seemed, drawing out the length made it settle over the layers more smoothly for some reason.

Then of course Sirius had to muck it all up again and caused the next one to zap anyone who touched it painfully when he tried adding to the map with a joke.

"Oh come on, nobody will believe we just carry around a blank bit of parchment," Sirius huffed, his hair nearly on end but refusing to let it go until they agreed. He'd clearly been getting shocked one too many times from his muggle contraptions to build such a tolerance. "It'll be hilarious!"

"Fine, fine," James agreed, "but we're not testing it on Snape! I don't want his greasy nose anywhere near this!"

It was a compromise Sirius reluctantly gave in to.

The grand finale of it was now being lovingly passed around to each of them, Remus was afraid to hold it in fear of smearing a single corner, so he was all the more surprised when James grandly flourished the absolute final copy one last time and he saw what had been added this time.

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present

THE MARAUDER'S MAP

"Prongs, I," Remus tried to protest why his name was first! "You did, all that work," it seemed stupid to tell him to redo it all just to put his own name first, but Remus really would insist.

"Nah, you came up with the idea, remember?" James shrugged. "Plus, you transformed first," he ignored Remus' little wince at how he phrased that in comparison to them. "Then Peter got it next, you get it? We wouldn't be the Marauders without our animals! Only seems fair."

Remus attack hugged him, causing James to laugh in surprise and throw the map in the air to protect it. Sirius of course would sooner chew off his hair than not join in to the two now wrestling on the ground, and Peter caught the map and held it preciously while laughing relentlessly.

5

May

Lily had spent the whole of Easter avoiding everyone, even Sev now when he'd showed her some star charts that apparently proved Potter and his gangs latest crimes and why they were all mindless idiots.

"Werewolves?" She wished he was kidding.

"I've really got it this time, and those filthy half-breeds will all get kicked out the second I show this to Slughorn!" He preened. "I'm telling you, this coming up thirteenth, you and me Lily, we'll get them for sure-"

"Why do you not listen?" She demanded, she felt like she should just talk to a brick wall these days instead of her best friend. "I don't want anything to do with them!"

"And you won't, when they leave for good." He concluded like it was obvious. "Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll all go to Azkaban for- hey, Lily, where-"

But she'd walked off and left him to his theories and ugly comments, waiting up late into the night for Mary to get back from patrol long after the other three girls had gone to bed, hugging her knees and arguing with herself what the right answer was anymore. She was tired of just waiting around, she kept looking back at the last few years of her life and realized she'd kept expecting something to happen any day now that clearly wasn't coming.

She was finally ready to admit she needed a second opinion, and Mary had been the nicest person to her consistently. Maybe it was just out of pity, but right now it was all Lily had to hope for, just one last final kernel of a pity conversation while she held herself strong and together talking out with someone what she hoped to get from her life that wasn't a teacher, that was just pathetic. Those stupid pamphlets for her future jobs and the coming career advice suddenly made her prospects seem bleak and hopeless what she really wanted.

Sunrise dawned on Saturday morning, and Lily looked blearily around, still cramped and sitting up in the slowly brightening room to look at Mary's bed to see if she'd crept in while Lily had fallen asleep.

It was still empty, Lily got to her feet in concern. Mary wasn't dating anyone right now, she'd broken up with Gavin Smethwyck over two months ago and hadn't started seeing anyone recently, of that she was positive considering boys were sixty percent of what the girls around her talked about.

She crept down to the common room but found it empty and clean with not a soul in sight. She bit her lip, one person coming to mind she knew she could ask who had seen Mary last, but Lupin had no reason to talk to her, and it would only encourage Potter. She'd come across as a crazy person surely, it's not like her and Mary hung out regularly for her to be asking at any point in time, let alone going up there and waking him up to demand.

Still, she found her feet moving up the boys half anyways, stomach twisted in knots and scolding herself she was losing it as much as Sev was, this was ridiculous, she should just go to bed and enjoy her quiet weekend.

Instead she pushed, as softly and tentatively as she was capable of on the door marked 5th year and poked her head in.

There were four boys visible in the beds, all snoring away, Lupin was even in the one closest to the door so she couldn't mistake that oddly light brown hair in his bangs. Maybe she would have tried to just wake him, but then her eyes flickered to Potter, already stirring feebly in his bed. It definitely wasn't worth that.

Descending as quietly as she'd gone up, she was sweating a bit in the chill morning air. She was not crazy, something must be wrong.

Refusing to hesitate another second, she went sprinting out of the Fat Lady's painting and found herself trembling in the corridors instead with no idea where to go, she hadn't even asked which floor she'd be patrolling last night!

'Think Lily,' she scolded herself. 'Bless asked her, you heard her ask that so that she could sneak around with her new boyfriend, now what did Mary say!'

She hadn't gotten enough sleep, everything felt fuzzy along the edges as she forced herself to concentrate when this had come up. It hadn't been last evening because the girls had been unusually quiet skimming over some prophet article, so it must have been during classes. She'd been forcing herself to listen in lately, really hear some of the things they were saying rather than blocking it out so she could try and form her own opinion of those rumors.

Instead what she'd heard was Professor Liz's voice swimming to the surface, drilling them all on different environments that would affect hexes, and there it was! Bless had leaned over to whisper to Mary, "I know what environment I'm getting this weekend, what floor should I avoid Mare?"

She'd grinned and shushed her friend with the teachers eyes on her, but flashed up four fingers.

Lily was running as if her life depended on it, bare feet slapping against the cool tiles and hair streaming wildly off her neck, her strawberry printed pants and pink lacy top must look bizarre as it rippled around her and she didn't care. She'd find Mary snogging some boy and apologize, or getting told off by a teacher for not showing up for patrols, or maybe even a detention, but she couldn't stop some inner part of her screaming to keep moving until it all happened, because Mary Macdonald had never done anything like this before.

She came to a skidding stop when she reached the fourth floor. For a moment she worried she hadn't been keeping diligent enough track of the never ending staircases and gotten off wrong, even nearly five years here and she didn't know every ins and outs of this place, but no, there was that portrait of Elizabeth Burke who still hissed Mudblood at her as she passed just like always. It was odd to find that comforting at a time like this.

Her footsteps went along silently now, she realized belatedly she must have grabbed her wand on pure impulse with no conscious effort to do so as her hand tightened around it and she looked desperately around for anything out of place. This floor wasn't used much, no classrooms were held here and it was known for its wide sweeping bends along with a nice balcony on the west side that led up to the owlery from the outside staircase if one chose. Most students didn't, preferring the more direct route and connecting staircase in the castle, but it was the best place to start looking.

The stained glass doors were closed and locked still from patrols, but a simple tap of Lily's wand had them swinging open without a sound and she stepped onto the balcony feeling more foolish by the moment as the sun began to crest over the horizon casting long shadows all around her. There on the right was the long, winding staircase that led up three whole floors from out here, and she breathed in the fresh air looking out at the sloping lawns of the school, the lake a mirror reflecting back everything in its still surface.

There was nothing else to check around here. She could go back inside and finish the oval shape of the floor ending back at the grand staircase and go back upstairs to bed, she'd ramped herself into a paranoia for nothing. She really was turning into Sev.

She'd made it back to the doors, arms covered in small bumps for the sharp wind and had her hand on them to close when she heard it. An odd, creaking noise unlike anything she should hear outside. It almost sounded like the tension of bed springs being pressed together, like her brain was so eager to crawl back into it she was making up noises now.

Still, she turned back and gave another sweeping look at the balcony. It couldn't have come from the owlery above, it was too high up to even hear the birds though a few were visible swooping in and out. The noise came again though as the wind flurried about her, and she stepped back up to the rail proper, and screamed as she looked directly down.

Mary was below her, dangling by one foot from an odd, coiled black cord barely held in place to the balcony and moving dangerously as the wind kept buffeting it this way and that.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Lily shrieked, surprised her wand didn't fly out of her hand she was so terrified, but the spell was true, and the girl went sailing up above her instead, though still connected to the black cord. Lily lowered her wand gently, consciously aware of every movement now as she came floating back down in an almost spectral way, Lily fought back a sob of fear as she bent over her.

The prefect badge was still gleaming on her chest, she was still in her school clothes. She should go get Madam Pomfrey, she scolded herself at once for hesitating, but that black cord was still there and for some reason it was driving Lily nuts, like if she turned her back it would rip her over the side once more.

"Relashio," she spat, jabbing her wand, but nothing came of it. Her fingers were shaking and she feared getting it off magically any other way, and instead went to pulling on it the old fashioned Muggle way to make sure Mary wouldn't get cut from a severing charm gone wrong.

She finally began to stir as Lily forced her boot off in hopes the rope would slacken a bit, and the moment she slipped it off Mary moaned feebly upon seeing Lily's head bent over her.

"Oh thank goodness," Lily breathed, fighting back tears now more than ever. "Are you okay? Here, let's get you up, what happened?"

"Mulciber," she spoke with absolute calm and clarity despite her glazed brown eyes still taking in the drawing light. "Heard Lupin telling him off, rounded the bend just as he was going off to get Slughorn. He saw me, and, everything went black," she rubbed at her temple as she leaned on Lily who got her moving. "I know it was him though, Gemma Macmillan swears she saw him dangling a second year out the window last year with that same rope," she looked nastily back while Lily got her over the threshold. "Guess he's perfecting his torture devices-"

"Shush now," Lily whispered calmly as she walked her down to the first floor. "We'll get the heads of houses, Merlin even Professor Dumbledore if we have to involved, let's just get you checked out first."

"S'no point," Mary sighed. "He's been doing this for years apparently, guys a ruddy freak, and nobody's stopped him."

Lily's heart was thudding unevenly all the way down and wouldn't stop the rest of the day as she sought out Sev in a daze. Years apparently. She'd known something was off with Reginald Mulciber from day one, he'd creeped her out and been the very first one to be so rude to her in this castle. She'd tried to convince Sev to stay away from him as easily as she found she was doing from her own dormmates.

He didn't know about this, Lily kept assuring herself, still walking around in her pajamas all day and not caring one bit as she looked into every students face to find Sev. He hid things from them, like his Prince book, and her, he hid the important things away from them, so surely they did in turn to him. Once she told Sev about this, he'd finally stop talking to them and hanging out with them, and things would go back to normal.

She found them back on the fourth floor. The doors were still thrown wide open, she had a direct line of sight out there. It was almost noon and everyone in the castle had somehow heard what had happened to Mary, though Lily hadn't breathed a word. Her heart was thudding so painfully in her chest her whole body was vibrating as her ears locked into Sev's laugh. She couldn't quite see him, there were a number of students all lounging on the balcony in the bright sun, but there was someone with long dark hair in the mix. Maybe it was Regulus Black?

Reginald Mulciber stood out in the crowd. His best friend Avery was taller, but Mulciber's short dark hair and broad shoulders stood out, as his icy green eyes looked right at her, along with his booming voice that didn't care if it carried to every floor of Hogwarts, "-and then the mudblood squealed like a little pig!" His friends laughed along.

She raced off without looking back.

5

"Come in Mister Black."

Sirius reluctantly opened the door, he half wished she hadn't acknowledge his knock as he eased into her office.

"Don't look so worried," she chuckled, "this has been scheduled for a fortnight. You did come prepared to your own Career Advice, yes?"

"Yes mam," he shrugged, going to casually slump on the back of the chair rather than sitting in it proper, just like mother hated. He really wished he could think up a way to get the teachers to stop saying his last name.

She gave him a testy kind of look, but as this wasn't a proper class and she said herself he wasn't in trouble, didn't scold him and turned to shuffling her papers about.

"So, any prospects before we go through your overall grades?" She inquired.

"No mam," Sirius shrugged. He wasn't graduating for another two years, that was a lifetime away and far more homework than he'd ever care about, why were they doing this now? Even now he was surprised she wasn't scolding him for not bringing homework down here with him he had such a pile of it, what with exams next month.

"None of the pamphlets provided interested you?" She confirmed, an edge of disbelief. McGonagall wasn't the most approachable person on a good day, let alone with as much as she berated them in particular.

"Well, I like the idea of working with Muggles," he admitted, though that was more to piss off his parents than anything he'd admit. "I just don't fancy working for the Ministry to do it, and that's what all of those talked about."

"I see," she nodded, flipping through his papers and coming up with one. "Yes, Professor Burbage has great remarks here, you're one of her best students in class. Perhaps if I brought a, ah, tell-phone to class you and Mister Potter would cause less trouble."

Sirius grinned unrepentantly and batted his eyes. "Oh Professor, you must have kind remarks of your own in there for me!"

She gave him a stern look, one of those Peter still swore meant she was fighting back a smile, but Sirius couldn't see it. "You do good work Black, but you lack discipline. Perhaps you'd favor being an auror, surely some authority would do your life good."

He clapped his hand theatrically to his cheek in mock horror, and she tutted at him as she turned back. "The only grades you are most lacking in is Potions and Herbology. If you aren't ready to have a proper discussion of your future, I see no point in continuing this except in advising you to smarten up in those before your coming OWL's."

"Yes mam," he said cheerfully, straightening up and almost eager to get back to DADA, this hadn't taken up the whole class like he feared, and he had to get his last looks in at her before she departed after this year.

She sighed as he left, muttering something under her breath about marauders.

5

Lily was glad she got to miss her Arithmancy class in favor of her career advice with McGonagall, a given reason to avoid Severus and a quiet moment to lead in to the multitude of questions she had.

"Hello Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said brightly as she took her seat and crossed her ankles. "Any questions, before we begin?"

"Yes mam," Lily said at once. "Is Mulciber being expelled?" It had been three days since the incident and he still had the audacity to stroll through the hallways!

She looked sharply at her now, but while Lily flushed under her gaze and guiltily looked to her pointed hat instead, she kept her face firm.

 "The discipline of this school is not your concern Miss Evans," McGonagall told her coolly. "Professor Slughorn and Professor Dumbledore have had words with him-"

"Words?" Lily interrupted with incredulity. "Please Professor, isn't there something more we could do than just, have words! He can't just get away with doing that!"

She gave Lily a deeply appraising look, and she looked away with chagrin again, but quickly forced herself to look back. She was done with her and Sev's deal about not asking questions and keeping her nose out.

"It's good to see you taking a more active role in school Miss Evans, I always knew you had it in you," Professor McGonagall surprised her by nodding calmly as she went shuffling back through her papers. "I'm sorry to say that there is nothing more to say on the matter currently at hand, but perhaps something of this nature will interest you."

She pulled out a glossy brown pamphlet that had a quill moving across a bit of parchment on the front writing the words Magical Law in big letters.

"But, I'm a Muggleborn," Lily needlessly reminded. "I only know the basic laws, like don't do magic at home," she added, still as flushed as ever from her many warnings from the Ministry about this very fact.

"Yes, you do have a few marks," she nodded, not even looking at them as her head of house continued to meet her eyes, "but you're a bright young woman. You've never shown natural talent for Transfiguration like Professors Flitwick and Slughorn rave about in their notes, but you do very good work because you try, and study, and put more effort in than half the students. I'd rate you at an E right now, and that's good enough to continue as you'd need to for this sort of thing."

Lily just gapped at her now, she hadn't even realized her mouth had fallen open until she snapped it closed and still couldn't think of anything but to stammer back, "th-thank you, mam." She'd never been complimented so much in her life, even Slughorn's praises had become common place to her.

"It's the truth," she said gaily, with that ever present edge of sharpness that made this a no nonsense conversation. "You've a bright mind Miss Evans and you'll go far, and I see in you a girl who's been holding herself back. You are not to let others tell you the kind of careers in your future."

"No mam, that's your job," she giggled. Professor McGonagall gave her a rare smile as she put the pamphlet on the edge of the desk.

Lily's hand didn't tremble as she reached out and took it.

5

Remus sighed as he forced one foot in front of the other to come up here. He was missing his favorite class for this, and they were supposed to be going over chizpurfles in class, and he'd really been wanting to ask Kettleburn if they were attracted to werewolves. After class of course, so maybe he could nip down there anyways and get it casually in without witnesses anyways, but he had a nasty bite on his hip and had been wanting to ask someone other than Pomfrey, who fussed over the smallest thing even when he still came away miraculously unscathed most nights now.

"Come in Mr. Lupin," McGonagall called, and he tried not to let his surliness show as he eased onto the edge of the seat.

"Any questions before we begin?" She asked patiently, looking at him with dark eyes.

"No mam," he shrugged, what was he supposed to ask, a specific pamphlet on people crazy enough to hire werewolves?

"Well then, let's go over some possibilities, judging by your classes," she offered, plucking up the first paper from the pile. "You're easily making an O in your DADA and Creatures class, so I'm sure you're aware of your strengths in practical, hands on magic."

"Yeah, I suppose," he nodded along.

"Your potions and astronomy could use some scratching up, but otherwise you're making overall passing grades," she surmised, placing it back down and looking expectantly at him.

He just looked back, unsure what to make of that.

"Perhaps you'll follow your father's interests," she prompted, "traveling and seeking out magical creatures."

"That's, an actual job?" He asked in disbelief. He hadn't been aware his dad was payed for his efforts of never being home in his youth.

"Lyall Lupin had gained notoriety in his past, and people now pay him to search out and document magical creatures for them," she nodded, a tone of surprise now.

Remus flushed at realizing he'd admitted the lack of communication there. Like he needed anyone else realizing he hadn't a care to talk to his parents anymore than Sirius did.

He didn't know how to delicately phrase the question, he'd never even outright asked if she knew of his affliction, but Dumbledore had once said his entire staff knew what they were getting into, so he swallowed and asked, "and I'd get paid same as my dad, despite being a werewolf?"

She seemed surprised at his bluntness, but there was something to be said for familiarity breeding acceptance. His friends had been saying it so casually for so long now, why shouldn't he? "I don't see why not," she agreed after only a moment's hesitation. "Your status as a werewolf is not unknown to many in his circle and out of it, his name was in the papers rather a lot when it all first came about, but if you simply took up the mantle and began helping him along I see no reason for the difference."

"Yeah?" He asked, almost wistfully now. It sounded like a nice dream at least. It was hard to imagine anything not going right for him nowadays.

"You're a capable wizard Mr. Lupin," she nodded keenly. "There's great things in store for your future."

He was actually smiling as he was dismissed, but that wasn't so unusual these days.

5

"Good evening Mister Pettigrew," McGonagall said crisply as he kept squirming in the chair. "Any questions before we begin?"

"Erm," Peter felt his mind go blank, just like it always did when she asked a question of him in class. Sadly none of his friends were here to kick him and whisper the answer, even though he knew that and now looked like a fool. Now he was just left to stammer and look at the neatly assorted piles of papers on her desk, realizing how much work must go into being a teacher, let alone head of house.

"It's alright, you can speak up," she offered, but when he still remained silent, she gave him a disapproving look and went on sternly, "I hope you've been giving this some real thought Mister Pettigrew. You're essays and theory assignments are top-notch, but you've always seemed to lack in your practical's, this from my own observations in class, but your other teachers agree."

He shrunk into his seat and wished he could just vanish, but he still hadn't managed that spell either on the smallest of rodents. He could turn into one for crying out loud, but even that advanced practice had not gifted him the superiority of natural ease like it had James and Sirius.

"There seems no excuse for this," she continued, her voice sounding harsh in his ears. "When you do perform your spells, the results are sublime, what you seem to struggle with is concentration."

Peter couldn't think of anything to say to that either, he probably looked like a complete doof right now.

"Your top grades back up this assessment well, Arithmancy, Astronomy, Potions, and you flourish in Study of Ancient Ruins. I see a correlation here I hope you do as well?" She once again tried to engage him.

"Erm, lots of Acceptables," in the important classes anyways. He really wished she would quit staring him down, he really felt the need to run and find James, and she was a teacher!

She tutted disapprovingly and set his marks down, giving him a stern look that promised detention on the horizon. "You have a sharp mind Mister Pettigrew, and if no job catches your fancy now, I hope you see in the future your strengths lie in what you can do all on your own."

He flushed miserably and felt like putting his face in his hands, great, she'd obviously noticed his co-dependency on his friends to get him through any of the useful classes. He gratefully left and thought about making a visit to the owlery before going to find them and laugh all this off like a bad nightmare.

5

James sprawled out in his seat, very pleased he finally had an excuse to miss potions Slughorn couldn't give him detention for first thing in the morning. "Good morning Professor!" He called belaying the knocking of a door as he walked in, she knew he was coming after all.

"Good morning Mister Poster," she agreed, stirring sugar into a morning cup of tea as she watched him from the corner of her eye. "Any-"

"Quidditch," James said at once. "Can't believe the Kenmore Kestrels haven't attended any of my games! I know you will be though Professor, you've never missed a match, let alone for the cup next month, and a great letter of recommendation from such a fine player as yourself will do me just as much wonders."

She waited patiently until he was done before clearing her throat and turning back to his grades. "Yes, well, as I'm sure you know, making it into the professional leagues isn't your only option, and it's always good to traverse other avenues. Perhaps, with you-"

"Oh, I also brought this!" James pulled from his pocket a bit of parchment with a flourish. The design was simple, but he'd etched all sorts of intricate details into the picture of the broom. "I call it the Lilliam Model! Let any prospecting teams know I'd be happy to make a new design for them too!"

"Mister Potter," she began to sigh, but James was already leaping to his feet, he'd been still far too long already.

"Yes mam?" He asked politely rather than bolting for the kitchens like he so wanted to.

"At least consider a little more structure for your future, even though your grades are adequate to get you through, perhaps-"

"You got it mam, have a lovely day!" He grabbed a pamphlet at random from her desk to show he really had listened to some of those words and took off. He chanced a look down just as he was about to throw it in the nearest bin though and saw the dark blue pamphlet, with gold letters stamped across the image of security bars or something: AUROR'S OFFICE.

He'd heard of those, his dad had been mentioning them a lot over the summer. He flipped it open curiously and read the first paragraph curiously:

Dark Wizards and Creatures abound in our world, and there are those few qualified to be the Auror to stop them, are you?

Founded by Eldritch Diggory in 1743 as an alternative to Azkaban, our hero's of the wizarding society seek out and capture those who would do our world and even the Muggles harm and bring them to our courts for the justice they deserve.

He found himself wandering corridors absently instead until the bell rang and he shoved it into his pocket to go find his friends.

5

Sirius and Peter were making their way down from their common room. Peter had sworn he heard a familiar song coming out of Sirius' radio, but they couldn't be late tonight and James had already gone off impatiently while Sirius tried desperately to get the thing going before the moon's peak and made Peter stay behind, just incase. Now they were half running down the hallway, they didn't at first take notice of the voice that called out, "and where are you lot off to in such a hurry? Off to torture some more first years?"

Sirius seemed to recognize the voice first, or at least he froze up and whirled around before his friend had even reacted. Peter groaned as he seemed to know at once what was about to happen, while Sirius puffed up his chest and said, "Why, I thought that was your job Snivellus! It is you after all who makes all the girls around here walk about with plugs in their nose."

His pale face lost a little bit more color as he glared with absolute hatred at Sirius. He opened his mouth to snap something right back, but Sirius was in no mood for it now, they were late enough. "We're going to the Whomping Willow you prat. Going to have a nice poke at the tree, care to join us?" Then the pair of them took off before he really could say anything.

"Sirius," Peter hissed at him, "why did you do that?"

Sirius released a snort of mirth as he turned a sharp corner and gave his friend a look of disbelief as he demanded right back, "What? It's not like he's going to believe me."

Peter made to argue the point, but at that moment they had reached their destination. Glancing around, Sirius quickly opened up the window on the ground floor, then the pair of them slide out.

"About time," James muttered as he eyed the two, "come on, we're going to be late."

There was silence for a moment before Peter grumbled, seeming unable to help himself, "Just hope we get there first."

"What's that?" James asked, only slightly distracted.

Sirius nudged Peter in the ribs hard, causing him to stumble.

"Knock it off you two," James snapped at them, "I don't want to know the state Moony's going to be in if we get there late, it'll be tricky changing and getting the hatch open if so."

"You worry to much Prongs," Sirius shrugged as he easily loped along.

Peter, undeterred from either boy, continued on as if there had been no interruption and answered James' question, "Sirius decided to invite someone else tonight."

Sirius stopped and really did punch Peter this time, snapping, "Would you let it go? Snivellus isn't going to-"

"What are you two going on about?" James snapped at the pair. He had suddenly gone very still, his eyes going back and forth between them with more anxiety than they were used to seeing.

Sirius crossed his arms and told them they were exaggerating, but Peter told James about the quick encounter before they had come here.

James suddenly went very pale, then without warning he turned into his stag and galloped off. Sirius let out a derisive snort as he continued following at a much slower pace, he and Peter still on two legs.

"You're both idiots," the black haired youth continued growling all the way there. "Just because I told him what we're doing- not going to listen-"

Peter eventually phased him out. When the two did get there they froze at what they saw.

James and Severus, doubled up and panting on the ground, just inches away from the tree. It was not happy about it, but they were still too close to the trunk for any of the branches to make a proper blow, so the very ground beneath them was rumbling up as the roots tried to shoot up and get to them. Disregarding all formalities now, they ran forward until they were in shouting distance, Peter casting a charm instead to get a branch to freeze it in place, while Sirius demanded, "What-"

"Don't," James wheezed, his fist clutching the grass as he looked up and around at him, "just don't."

Severus seemed to be regaining his composure faster, as he staggered to his feet, glaring around at all of them as he hissed, "Lupin is a werewolf! You, you lot," he broke off, then made a run for the school.

"We've got to stop him," Peter yelled, unable to do so himself lest the tree get free.

"Let him go," Sirius snorted in disgust, eyeing his form with distaste. That look of fear for his friend angering him. "Who's he going to tell, Dumbledore? He already knows."

Even if he hadn't been watching Snivellus make his way to the castle, he wouldn't have had the sense to duck as James Potter cracked his fist against Sirius Black's chin.

Sirius fell to the ground hard and did not try to catch himself in shock, as he turned wide-eyed and demanded, "What the bloody-"

"I should ask that!" James snarled, his fist clenching up again as he continued looking on at Sirius as if seeing him for the first time. "What in your bloody mind made you think it was a good idea to, to tell him about, this!"

"I didn't," he snapped, jumping to his feet, starting to get mad himself now. "Jeez, would you listen to yourself. I didn't tell him to come here, I just-" he broke off in disbelief as James snorted with mirth.

"No, you just told him to come here is all."

"James," he growled, "it was a joke, like last week when I told him to jump off the tower! How should I have known he'd take me at word?"

"You guys," Peter jumped in, his eyes flickering from one to the other, "We've got bigger problems! If we're not in our dorm, McGonagall's going to go spare, we can't explain why we're not in bed tonight!" He reminded looking only at James now, then he turned surprisingly cold eyes on Sirius and finished, "and you can go after Snape to make sure Remus isn't expelled in the morning."

His mouth actually sagged open in shock for a moment. He quickly shook it off and snarled, "You out of your mind? Remus didn't do anything wrong-"

"Because that's surely what Severus is going to tell them," James cut him off again, his voice brittle.

The two gave a longing, painful look to the hollow of the tree, a sharp wind gusting the branches into attempted movement before they began an uneasy walk back to the school. Peter barely waited until Sirius started to follow to finally drop the branch.

Neither of them looked back at him in full moon light.

5

She found him first.

He had been making his way up to the castle, feet dragging, mind still circling over what the bloody big deal was, James and Peter had long since ditched him back for the tower. He would have to go to Dumbledore, tell him that Snape kind of figured out what was down at the Shrieking Shack, and then leave. He just so happened to be walking out on the grounds, past curfew. His involvement need never be known, he just so happened to come upon the event, yeah because that was going to work.

Then McGonagall was marching towards him at top speeds. Sirius froze, and for a moment he actually considered running. He had never seen her quite this angry before. Her lips were as thin as could go, her nostrils were constantly flaring, she looked ready to spit fire.

When her eyes did land on him, they narrowed into slits, and then she pointed back towards the castle and began walking that way herself, not looking back.

It took him a few floors to realize he was being taken to Dumbledore's office.

He was still too distracted to really care much, stuck on James' reaction. So Snape had gone and nearly gotten himself hurt, what exactly were they blaming him for again?

McGonagall lead him into Dumbledore's office and didn't say a word to him as she continued in further to go and fetch the Headmaster. This wasn't the first time he'd been in the office, and he was still too lost in his own thoughts to particularly care and take another look around.

Both adults came in, Dumbledore looking angrier than he'd ever seen him, which automatically made him take a seat across from him and hang his head in the expected 'shameful' look.

Instead of yelling like he'd expected, he merely requested in the quietest voice, "Explain."

Sirius winced, almost wishing he would shout. That heartfelt disappointment cut far deeper than he'd expected. So he gave a quick rundown of how he'd met Snape in the corridor, how said Slytherin had provoked him, and he'd casually thrown out how he should spend the rest of his night, ending with, "-it was a joke really, how was I to know he'd really do it?"

How many times had he said that tonight?

McGonagall started off by taking so many points off, it made him do a double-take. Without even giving pause, she then spent what felt like a fortnight digging into him about what a stupid, careless act that had been. He zoned out after a few minutes, his friends faces still plaguing him.

"-ought to expel you for this stunt!"

That finally brought him back to life, he lunged to his feet, his eyes flashing wildly between his Head of House and the Headmaster. "What? No! Look I'll apologize. I'll, I'll do as many detentions as you want, but please, I- no one got hurt!"

The teachers exchanged a look that drove him crazy, because he couldn't read them. Then she turned back and asked slowly, "Mr. Black, aside from your careless jab at suggesting a student go and play with a dangerous tree, I would like to know if you know what is under that tree."

Sirius swallowed hard, rocking back on his heels as his mind geared into fast forward and floundered all at once. He wasn't exactly supposed to know about Remus, of that he was sure, but if he admitted he did that would land him in even more trouble. If he didn't admit though, would they know he was lying?

He'd stalled for too long, so he blurted out, "Ah, I've heard rumors, like anyone else."

Well, that wasn't a full lie anyways. He was positive they didn't know he'd started half those rumors himself just for kicks about some monster he'd created on the spot lurking in that tree.

Dumbledore gave him a pensive look, blue eyes x-raying him. It took all the effort Sirius had not to wring his hands together. Finally he turned away, back to facing McGonagall as he said, "I shall leave the final decision with you Minerva, but I feel Mr. Black seems repentant enough of his actions."

McGonagall's nostrils flared, she continued glaring down at him with utter contempt, and for a heart-stopping moment he truly feared this might be his last night here.

For one brief second, he thought of being shipped out, back to living with his parents. He could barely stand being around them during the summer holidays, but back to living with their deranged ways full time? His shoulder ached at the very thought- thankfully that mental dialogue was cut off as the Professor finally said, "You have detentions every day for the rest of this year. Come see me in my office today after classes."

With that she swept from the room, and he was left staring miserably after her. He got wearily to his feet as he glanced back at Dumbledore, feeling obligated, he began, "Thanks-"

But he was cut off by taking to his feet and saying in the gravest voice, "I don't want to hear that, I want to make sure nothing of this magnitude ever comes up again. You will be very lucky indeed if I can convince Mr. Snape not to take actions in a more ah, public nature."

Sirius took an automatic step back, feeling close to fainting all of a sudden.

"Pro-professor, he can't! Remus didn't do anything!" Then he winced and shuffled his feet in shame as he fully realized what he had just admitted. For a horrible second he even wondered if he was going to call Professor McGonagall back and have him kicked out anyways.

Instead, he gave him a pitying look, and said, "That will be all Mr. Black, please go back to your dormitory now."

Sirius stood there, shaking at the horrible prospects. Remus could be dragged before the Department for Dangerous Creatures, he could possibly be killed, all because of him! He'd go down to the Slytherin common room himself and make Snape disappear before that happened.

Dumbledore turned to probably go back to his own private room, so Sirius took a hasty step forward and blurted, "Professor, please, I'll do anything, just don't let them hurt Remus. Snape, he won't-" he cut himself as he realized, there truly wasn't anything he could say in that moment.

His white beard just shook sadly from side to side, before finally exiting as well. Sirius stood alone in an empty office, the night finally sinking in.

5

Remus could say with absolute confidence he woke up in the worst pain of his life.

Not that he had forgotten his years before of the pain, his euphoria lately was only equal to the lack of it because he was so keenly aware of it finally being gone. What had changed?!

Every single thing that could hurt did, he couldn't imagine how many bones he must have broken and rebroken through the night to still feel them like this, and even as he forced himself to awareness amongst pitiful whimpers he could see a bandage was already leaking fresh blood on his arm. One of his eyes wouldn't even open, it seemed to have been lacerated so bad there were bandages there too!

"Oh, Remus," suddenly Madam Pomfrey's kind face was there, his neck wouldn't quite turn to even get a good look at her as she bent over him once more, his vision was already blurring out again as tears threatened at the corner of his one eye. He couldn't remember anything. "I'm so sorry love, I was worried about you having so many easy nights, and now it's all just built up hasn't it. You've been out for two days, and I'm still making sure the worst of it is healing properly."

He felt more than saw her peel back the red dappled bandage and reapply a smelly salve, silver and dittany mixed together. It burned but was supposed to seal the wound, but it seemed to be having trouble sowing itself back together from the intensity of the werewolves attack. It was the only thing he was confident of right now, only his kind could hurt him this badly.

This only left a slew of very dangerous questions that began cramming into his head. Was it possible another werewolf had found them in the forest? Where were the others, had they tried to defend him? Were they somewhere out in the forest dying? But no, she had to have found him back in the Shack or she'd be asking questions, so someone had made it through to drag him back. He forced his only slightly more functional arm into movement, gritting his teeth against the pain as he brushed impatiently at his eye to get a proper look around, but he was alone, and it was late evening judging by the sun. His friends weren't in sight.

Head pounding, he found himself passing out as she began peeling the bandages from his face.

The next time he awoke, it was fully dark, though he doubted it was the same day somehow, he felt a tad more rested, and the only bandage still in place was the one on his arm. Still no one came for him that night, and fear got the better of him as he forced his aching body into motion, still accompanied by the pathetic whimpers of pain, but he could move, and he was going to find them.

The nurses' sixth sense kicked in the moment he opened the door, either that or she had a silent alarm in her room. Regardless, he only took a step out when she came flying towards him in her nightgown, berating his ears senseless as she threatened to tie him to that bed if he pulled such a stunt again.

He forced one foot after the other back and slumped down to the mattress, lying face first into the pillow miserably. It burned, and a chill crept up his spine as he remembered his eye. He sat up impatiently and glared as her door shut before forcing himself back to his feet and stumbled to the loo, at least that was in the room, even if she'd somehow put him in the farthest one from it. He tried not to imagine the state he'd been in when he arrived she'd put him in the first available bed instead.

The mirror over the sink showed a grisly sight. There were now cuts along his face, still visibly silver in the faint light, prominently dragging from eye to across his nose. His blood chilled in disgust as he prodded them, trying to convince his mind they were already fading a bit around the edges. Surely it was because of how absolutely pale he was they stood out so bad, and he did look a new kind of awful, eyes still dark and haggard even from days of sleep.

Where were they?

He wanted to pace and fidget in agitation, but found himself unable to even make a full lap around all the beds before he was huffing in exhaustion and slumping back down onto his bed, he even nodded off a bit because his eyes flickered back open to morning sunlight.

He stayed in Madam Pomfrey's good graces all morning, holding out his arm for inspection eagerly, which had finally sealed itself up but she kept the bandage in place just in case, not uttering a single word as she gave him a thorough once over while lunch rolled around, and thanked Merlin and anyone else who was listening she did not come over with a tray of food, but instead excused him for Tuesday evening.

He bolted down to the Great Hall in such a daze, at first it was overwhelming to see the mob of students all in there eating after so long alone, he hadn't realized how used to not being alone he was anymore. His eyes scanned wildly, then carefully, but he didn't spot any of them, and it's not as if James and Sirius were hard to miss. Something had happened, he could feel it even without the tangible proof.

Cursing Peter and James for having the mirrors last, he instead made a beeline up for the common room, hardly needed a look around to see they weren't here either, and went pelting off for James' trunk. The map was still blessedly in there, and he enchanted it breathlessly, his romp around the castle had cost him dearly and his ribs were aching like the wolf was about to burst out of him all over again, every nerve he had seemed to have balled up into the center of his spine and his eyes were starting to water from pain again, his face and arm still stung something awful. Hopefully they weren't too far away... yes! James and Peter were actually walking right this way!

He watched their little dots impatiently as he forced himself back to his feet, only just restraining himself from going down there to meet them because this was a conversation he didn't want a chance of being overheard, but his fear ramped up with every step he watched them take. Where was Sirius?

The door finally opened and the two stopped to look at him with such amazement, he felt the need to check if he remembered his pants. He didn't care either way, stumbling forward and grabbing them, shaking them a bit as he demanded, "where's Sirius? What happened?"

"He hasn't told you yet?" Peter looked outraged, while James' shoulders slumped and he easily sidestepped away. "He was supposed to be there when you woke up to tell you!" Peter kept going, shouting more in this moment than Remus remembered him ever doing.

"What, happened?" He asked slowly now, to make sure they caught every word while he felt his hands start to shake.

James wouldn't look him in the eye, his glasses flashing bizarrely as he watched Sirius' bed instead when he whispered, "sorry we didn't get a chance to be there, we didn't think it would go that bad though. When we saw you that morning in the hospital-" He stopped with such an awful wince, Remus really did look down to check if he wasn't a ghost talking this out.

Peter offered in a quiet voice, "We think it's because, you know Moony, he's used to being out now, so when he wasn't, he-"

"Not me you idiots!" He snapped, he couldn't believe what they were doing, why were they stalling? "Where is Sirius? Did I kill him?" He couldn't believe he said it so calmly when he felt like he was on fire.

"What, no?" James finally did jerk and look at him, but now his face was a ghastly color, and the fire was starting to cool, and be replaced with an ugly cold feeling. He was missing the obvious, but the answer wasn't coming to him.

"Did I-"

"You didn't do anything Remus," Peter said kindly, patting his arm, and then suddenly seizing him and steering him towards a bed. Remus let him without even seeing where he landed, eyes laser focused on James, who was back to not looking at him.

Remus had worn out all of his patience on the matron though, he was ready to smash their heads together in frustration if they didn't use their real words!

Peter finally licked his lips before saying it in plain English. "Sirius told Snape about the tree. Snape went down there and saw you. James pulled Snape out before anything else happened."

He stopped there and hopped back a step, but the frustration with them was gone, he just clung to his ignorance now like a security blanket.

James was addressing his nose, he must have ripped at it so hard he realigned it for that to be so fascinating right now, but he finally added in, "Dumbledore's taken care of it, Snape won't say one word, he's been sworn to secrecy or expulsion, first time I ever heard the threat of that!" He made an odd sound that might have been an attempt at a laugh that died quickly. "Sirius was supposed to tell you, I told him to stay in the hospital wing and miss all his classes if he had to, he's already got detentions out the arse anyways, so he could tell you the moment you woke up, but we haven't seen him since that first morning."

His blind faith had slowly worn off with every word James spoke. Now he just felt numb.

Mechanically, he pulled the map back to his face and looked, but he was no where to be seen. No matter each individual dot he forced his eyes to drag apart, there was no sign of him in the Great Hall, or the kitchens, any secret tunnel, or anywhere on the map.

Getting up still hurt, he creaked like a man twice Dumbledore's age and gave it no care. He had a feeling he knew where he was. The warning bell for evening classes to begin rang as they exited the castle and made their way to the Whomping Willow in the middle of the day.

Neither James or Peter tried to stop him, or even breathed a word of caution as Remus drew his wand and stopped the tree with practiced ease. He kept it in hand as he strode blindly down the tunnel.

Sirius had his back to them even as the hatch swung open, he stowed his wand away rather then whatever he was doing pointing it at the walls. There was a single moment of silence as Remus leapt into the room, and Sirius hesitated only a beat longer than normal before turning and smiling at the sight of him.

"You're awake!" He cheered, gray eyes sparkling bright, but voice very even. "I was thinking, maybe we could put cushioning charms on the walls and floor, not really necessary next time, but-"

Remus' hex hit him with such force he crashed right through a chair, breaking a leg off to spin wildly away while he finally settled against a wall so hard dust rained down from the ceiling. Looks like he hadn't managed those charms yet.

"Remus!" James jolted forward and tried to drag his wand away, but Remus shook him off like he wasn't even there as he stalked forward.

Sirius had the audacity to look momentarily confused as he slurred, "why does everyone keep hitting me?" Then a look of genuine fear crept across his face as he really looked Remus in the eyes.

James still had his arm, he'd been dragging his feet uselessly on the lumpy floorboards with no success, but Remus wasn't going to hit him again, he wanted him to hear every word. "You stay away from me. You don't come in here again, you don't talk to me, you don't come near me ever again Black."

He flinched worse than ever at the use of his last name, watching him yank his arm free of James and turn back for the hole, vanishing without looking back.

Sirius only realized he was shaking as he tried to speak, "what did you say to him?" He was sure his voice only cracked from delayed shock at the flash of color he'd seen in Remus' eyes.

"Us!" Peter snarled, and even made as if to kick at him before James pushed him roughly away as well, and it did work on him, though he just yelled louder than ever. "You were supposed to tell him Sirius! He thought he killed you, and you were too much of a coward to admit who he'd almost killed!"

Sirius jumped to his feet and glared Peter down, who visibly flinched as Sirius easily stood over his head. "Remus is fine! What's the matter with everyone, since when does Snape listen to a word I say!"

"Sirius," James' voice cracked, scaring him more than anything. Remus' anger or Peter's defiance, he didn't know what that look on James' face was. "You're really not sorry at all?"

Sirius looked at him appalled. "Moony nearly killed himself, of course I'm sorry!"

James shook his head slowly from side to side, eyes closed, before looking down at his shoes and speaking with an eerie calm. "Clear off for a bit. Do as Remus says, give him some space, he'll come talk to you when he wants to."

Sirius could not believe his ears. He'd never felt so dismissed in his life!

Peter jumped down into the hole and vanished as if the matter was settled, but Sirius reached out for Prongs as he turned too.

"James, I-"

He didn't know what he was going to say, he was glad James stopped him with a hard look in his eyes. They were all angry now. "I mean it Sirius. You think about this, and Remus will come to you when he's ready."

5

"Hey, Lily!" Sev called excitedly, jogging to easily catch up to her while she paced in the courtyard.

"Hey," she greeted without breaking pace, not even sure if she could look at him without snapping right now. She and Mary had been talking quite a bit lately, and while the other hadn't brought up Severus herself, Lily had been carefully broaching the topic, and didn't at all like the rumors she'd been purposefully ignoring for so long now, especially this most recent one. 

She'd gotten a subscription to the Daily Prophet, she'd been reading laws, old ones in practice for centuries, and new ones being instated for something called Death Eater's. The more she listened now, the sicker she felt.

"What's the matter with you?" He laughed in surprise. "Don't you want to here about what happened, I know you've heard. Mulciber had this great idea for a new study group over those trees, and maybe this time-"

"I don't want to talk about them!" She snapped at once.

Severus stumbled just a bit at the intensity in her voice but kept her pace. "Why don't you ever want to talk about my other friends? How are we ever all supposed to get along? Thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with!" Lily finally snapped, she really couldn't believe the nerve of him. It was the first time he'd sought her out rather than the other way around in days, and the first thing he did was bring up Mulciber! "I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.

"That was nothing," said Snape. "It was a laugh, that's all."

Her heart stuttered, maybe he hadn't heard the same things she had, maybe he really hadn't been on that balcony. She tried testing the waters, "It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny-"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Snape. His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?" She wondered if it was her imagination his tone sounded more accusatory than curious for once. She still had no care to hear his theories regardless and would not engage.

"He's ill," said Lily at once, dismissively, she couldn't believe he was still on this. "They say he's ill."

"Every month at the full moon?" said Snape.

"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. She didn't care. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are." The intensity of his gaze made her blush.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She dropped her voice, "and you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there."

Snape's whole face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to- I won't let you- "

"Let me? Let me?" Lily's bright green eyes were slits. Snape backtracked at once.

"I didn't mean- I just don't want to see you made a fool of. He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not...everyone thinks...big Quidditch hero- " Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across him. "I don't need you to tell me that, but Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

Severus had already relaxed though like they were in agreement once more, following along with her and nodding along politely as she finally got out of her system what she'd been holding in far too long and berated Mulciber and Avery to the fullest extent. When she was done, she felt more calm than she could remember being in years, and he was still smiling, so that must mean something.

Maybe, maybe he'd finally promise to be done with them, her accusations surely had to be a wake up call, and she'd love to hug him again, she hadn't in so long...

"I'm glad we're on the same page about them," Sev told her, dark eyes still dancing with delight, that boastful smile in place. "I'll see you later Lily!"

He took off, and Lily began to ask herself if she even wanted him to come back. She couldn't lie herself through it this time, they were not agreeing about the same them, he hadn't heard a word she said.

5

The dungeons where Potions were held had always felt like the most oblique part of the castle, and Sirius had been in every corner of it to claim as such. It wasn't entirely the fault of the dark stone walls, sweltering hot air from the many flames, or the often unexplained fumes. The feeling seemed to seep up straight from the cold stone floor no matter how many fires were lit, as if the wooden stool itself were trying to pin them all with the unknown.

Sirius had never been more grateful for a Potions class to be over, and that was really saying something. It was the last one of this bleeding school semester, and if he had to spend one more day glaring at a cauldron and somehow inexplicably turning it the wrong color one more time without the usual helpful hint from Peter telling him why, he was going to chuck every last drop of it in Slughorn's face for constantly telling him he'd figure it out!

He'd never packed up his bag faster, even managing to multitask by muttering under his breath how stupid all this was. He was the first person to make it to the door, but collided with someone even less pleasant to see than the three people he'd most been avoiding lately. He cursed loudly, earning several dirty looks as the rest of the class was now passing. His bag had ripped upon stumbling into his little brother and smashed to the ground, sending his things flying and managing to spray him with ink.

Regulus hesitated in the doorway, muttering a quick, "sorry Sirius."

"Oh, it knows my name," Sirius growled under his breath, though his tone was far less hateful than usual, considering this was the first time he'd had a proper conversation with someone in nearly three weeks.

"Yes, he does," Regulus' scowl looked remarkably close to Sirius', the two put side by side at once was rather eerie. His tone though was even more friendly than Sirius', which wasn't all that hard as he tried to explain his abrupt appearance. "I ah, I came sprinting down here to see if I could catch Slughorn, ask him if I could pick up an extra credit assignment."

Sirius straightened with his stuff still half strewn around, the urge to talk to anyone after his nearly month long silence nearly tantalizing him into speech, but then he glanced over at him, them. If James and Remus still wanted him to be thinking about it, talking to Regulus Black was the last person who would be of help with that, so decided against it, he wasn't that desperate. He left the remainder of his things in place and shoved Regulus out of the way as he left.

Regulus watched him go with an odd feeling of remorse as he looked from him to Potter, but it's not like he cared, he quickly reminded himself as he went to go find where Slughorn actually was, it obviously wasn't here.

James sighed in relief, finally looking away from Evans as Sirius left, and releasing her from his thrall for now as he grabbed Remus and pulled him out, just in time apparently, his cauldron was wobbling unsteadily and the last thing they needed was him knocking that over and making a mess. Peter jogged behind silently all the way up to the tower.

Lily went back to packing her stuff up in relief, hurrying a bit now as other students began trickling in for their own class. She darted past a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff holding hands while biting at her lip and trying not to wonder what Sev was doing now.

5

Remus had been trying not to think much lately, it hurt more than any full moon had ever done to him as the next just loomed closer. It was the last weekend he'd have patrols this year. At least Mary would be thrilled, she'd been muttering runes translations under her breath as often as Peter lately and it had been driving him nuts as he avoided her like the plague, at least this was the last time he would have to and all the others to boot. They were released from duty starting exams.

The silence waiting for him back at the dorm wasn't anything to look forward to though. He knew James had already forgiven Sirius, probably even before he'd woken up, but he'd kept it to himself and just waited patiently at Remus' side now, resorting to just silently staring at nothing like the life had been drained out of him.

Peter wasn't much better. He'd been trying to be oddly chatty during classes and meals, or maybe it was just the first time James and Sirius had ever shut up long enough he got more than a word in, let alone a whole joke before one of them screamed the punchline for him. Regardless, he'd stopped being so pleased that wasn't happening, and after dinner he studied relentlessly instead.

He trudged down to the fifth floor, ignoring rule number three in his handbook to follow Peeves as he went whizzing by and laughing, he just wanted this over with. Then his heart stuttered in surprise to see who was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs on the landing, and it wasn't Mary.

"Zeta?" He called in surprise, guess he'd been doing a better job at keeping himself distracted than he thought, how had he not noticed this?

"Hi Remus," her voice was still quiet, her smile much older than Ersa's ever seemed somehow. He'd never even thought to ask who was older. He'd given up asking all of his questions in fact, halfway through a book on blood curses right before- well, he wasn't unhappy to see her.

He stood awkwardly on the last stair, realized his mistake too late as it tried to move beneath him, and had to hop to make it to the landing, stumbling a bit on his still sore muscles.

She just watched patiently, eyeing him carefully as he stood back up, neither offering support or laughing at him.

"Um," he rubbed awkwardly at his nose, for the first time remembering his now visible scars with actual care and hoping the dim lighting hid them. When was the last time he'd talked to anyone, why was this so hard? "How have you been?" Merlin he must sound like some preteen, his first time talking to a girl!

Her laugh was soft, he really must be as embarrassing as he thought, or just pathetic enough she took pity on him as she shrugged and beckoned him to follow. He did so and they traveled half the floor in companionable silence once more. His heart restricted in his chest though and he looked away from her intentionally as she checked the Prefects bathroom. He'd shared the password to that his first night here and Sirius had been using it unrelentingly, and still somehow managed to take the longest showers in their dorms.

He startled when Zeta gently cleared her throat and he looked down to see her dark brown eyes watching him with concern. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Ah, pity it was then. He wasn't a fool, the whole school knew the foursome were missing a member, and with their Quidditch finals in the morning, Gryffindors in particular had been anxious what two of their players were so clearly arguing about and had tried to step in and help.

Vosper not so subtly, threatening and pleading alternately in any moment so he could help mend the wound. They had no idea if he'd come across Sirius to also offer, as none of them saw him outside of a few sporadic classes. Regardless, after James had sprouted antlers on his head for the seventh time, the captain had stopped offering and now shot his chaser dirtier looks than the Slytherin's in the corridors.

Zeta was offering a friendly ear as well, he must look truly pathetic for someone outside his house to be offering, he wondered how big a fan she was. He wasn't going to curse her though, but instead just shrugged and tried to walk back off the way they'd already come. Whatever crush he'd been developing on her had dimmed anyways, he didn't care about much of anything anymore.

"Remus," she called after him, and at first he just wanted to ignore her, but then he checked himself and forced his feet to stop moving. She was breathing a bit harder than normal when she caught up, and he winced with guilt, he really was an arse taking this out on her.

"I just want to say one thing, and I'll leave you to it," she promised, her dark skin wasn't even flushed, she didn't seem ill at ease at all around him. "I don't know what you're arguing about, but life's short, alright," she brushed her hand over her heart, and his own stilled in shock. "I hope it wasn't unforgivable, anyone can tell you lot are the best of friends."

She turned away as promised, and Remus really was tempted to just let her go, but that spark of curiosity caught hold of him once more as her long hair hung free down her back and swished a bit as she walked away. He went jogging after her this time, and he'd swear she smiled. "Helps to have an impartial ear, I guess," he muttered.

"So I've heard," she nodded.

He bit his lip and immediately regretted it though, he couldn't tell her anything. Snape had somehow, remarkably, unbelievably kept his word and nobody was now screaming in the corridors about the werewolf at school. He was too terrified to ask Dumbledore how he'd done it. He'd take the twisted, disgusted looks received from Severus as a saving grace, not even others of Slytherin house were yet eyeing him the same way!

They made it past the music room and were now traversing the gargoyles situated above the quad, the warm air funneling in only had him sweating more. "Sirius, he, it was one of his pranks," he finally said, choosing every word carefully. "Well, no, it was one of his impulsive decisions, he never thinks before he does, and this time, well, it almost got someone killed, and he doesn't care!" The words finally burst out of him after three very, very long weeks of silence. "I don't know how to look at him again, how can anyone be so callous? He didn't even apologize," the words burned from his throat, he was beyond embarrassed to hear how raspy his voice had gotten. He would not cry in front of her, he'd chuck himself over the banister first.

He laid awake most nights playing back Sirius smiling at the sight of him, laughing about the next time like nothing had happened. He liked to think if Sirius had just apologized, even without meaning it, he wouldn't have lost his temper so bad...

"To you, or the person?" She asked gently, her every tone and slow movement made it clear he could shut this down at any moment and she'd keep walking like nothing had happened.

"Neither," he whispered, or at least if he had to Snape, he certainly hadn't done it with them around, and it wouldn't do a damn bit of good anyways. He knew that, Snape would never believe Sirius hadn't really thought through his actions, that Sirius hadn't spent nearly two years of his life becoming an illegal animagus and looked out for Remus in every way that mattered. Damn it all, he missed him! His anger had bled out by the first weekend, if Sirius would just show a touch of remorse he'd walk right up to him at any time and try to talk to him about it, but the arsehole was just as aloof as ever, like they didn't exist anymore than that brother of is.

'It's your own fault,' Remus kept telling himself. 'You told him you didn't want to exist to him anymore, what's he supposed to do, follow you around begging for you back?' Sirius would make out with Snivellus first.

"I laid into him," he almost forgot Zeta was there now, he couldn't even bring himself to say any of this to James or Peter. Would they encourage him to go find Sirius? He still wasn't sure he wanted to, this wasn't something he felt he could overlook no matter how much he missed Sirius. Just because it had been impulsive didn't mean Sirius was so thick he shouldn't recognize the consequences of his actions. "Now, I don't know what's going to happen."

Zeta remained quiet until Sinestra arrived and dismissed them. They traveled back to the seventh floor before she turned to look at him, and he watched her with a desperate sort of hunger for an answer he didn't know how to give himself.

"Ersa doesn't like me talking about it," she told him out of the blue, hand brushing over her heart again, "but it's not a secret. Remus, I'm not going to do patrols next year," she tapped the eagle badge and looked solemnly into his eyes. Her face was alive, but haggard with as much exhaustion as his now, and he realized she'd been hiding as much from him as he'd been poorly attempting to do. It had taken them so long to get up here for her slow pace, a teacher would likely give them detention for being out of bed so late now. "My sister wants me to, but she likes to live vicariously, thinks I don't get out enough. I liked the experience, but it's a bit of a strain."

He decided he didn't like the way she said that, the badge was pinned right over her heart.

"Remus, I'm not going to pretend to tell you what to do, and what your friend did sounds really awful, but just remember, we're not even of age yet," she didn't say that like someone on the cusp of adulthood, more like a wistful child speaking of the future. She was still as calm as ever, he was starting to wish for the silence back. "We're all still figuring out how the hell this world works, and I'm sure he's just as many questions as you do. Have you tried talking to him, since you, ah, laid into him?"

His mouth had gone very dry, he didn't want to take his eyes off her now. "No, I was, I pretty much told him not to talk to me ever again. Kind of, regret that now, but if I take it back, he'll just think it's all okay and, maybe even, do it again." He didn't really believe that, but who knew with Sirius, maybe the next time Mulciber or Avery annoyed him, he'd send them down the Whomping Willow without thinking.

"Maybe he has some regrets too though," she said kindly. "I hope you talk to him again, for your sake, or you'll always wonder." She smiled one last time and turned to leave.

"Zeta?" He called on impulse, watching as if in slow motion as she turned back, and refusing to allow himself to second guess as he asked, "are you dating Dirk Cresswell?"

She burst out laughing, it was a very pretty noise. "No, he's just a friend, I won't be dating anyone in school. I'm eight minutes older than my sister," she added like that explained everything, smiling one last time and slowly, very slowly walking into the shadows of the west.

He walked back to his own, feeling as if he'd aged a lifetime. His dorm was as quiet as it could be with Peter's snores, Sirius wasn't awake in one of his midnight moods to greet him. His bed was the same as he'd left it, the radio cannibalized across the mattress, a half empty pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a deck of Chocolate Frog Cards on his nightstand, muggle posters Remus had gifted him over the holiday of scantily clad women he'd refused to have magickly activated, Remus had hoped it would deter gals from lingering in here. Peeking out from underneath the thrown blankets were old candy wrappers and half finished assignments. His trunk was even still open, the tail of his broom tangled up with a scarlet tie. Remus sunk down onto the long cold comforter and brushed his hand over the stray black hairs. 

If he asked Sirius to apologize, would he? Maybe, if he was as miserable as Remus felt, but maybe not, if he really thought he'd done nothing wrong. Even if he did, did it count since Remus had asked him to do it? If Sirius had felt true remorse, he would have done so already. Instead he was acting like a pouting child. Like his friends were his parents and he could just ignore their existence until it became inconvenient to do so otherwise. When he showed up at the Quidditch Cup tomorrow and played as spectacularly as ever, during the party, would he waltz right up like nothing had happened and start giving him a rundown of the game?

He crept quietly over to James' trunk and pulled the map out, still sitting on top. He was positive James had been doing this as often as he had, though neither had caught the other at it. He whispered the phrase and watched the corridors come to life, but still no sign of Sirius hiding out anywhere in the castle. He wasn't still in the Shrieking Shack, but that was all Remus was positive of about him anymore.

His friends had made him feel human, and more than that, normal. Never before had anyone gone out of their way like Sirius had to make every available joke under the sun about werewolves until Remus had no choice but to laugh along, he would have done anything to repay that to them without question. He never would have imagined it would go this far.

What would he do at the full moon next year?

This more than anything had been the question that knotted his stomach terribly. Would Sirius just let him free on the grounds once more, galivanting around with his barking laugh? This was his fault, he should have realized that a long time ago. He'd never put his foot down in any regards against them, now Sirius thought he could get away with murder because of him.

5

He wouldn't go back. It was the only clear thought in his head for the past three weeks, every night he sat in detention, every class he realized he should be in long after it had started, avoiding looking at them just like he'd asked. 

He wouldn't go back to Grimmauld place, he would not survive another summer there without letters from them, James offering him a reprieve away, his best friends laugh- but even Prongs couldn't laugh his way out of this one.

He wouldn't go back to the dorm, not until Remus asked him to, because he was loath to make this whole thing worse! He'd show them he could make it right by doing what was asked of him. Remus would come talk to him soon, any day now, and he'd be right out here in the Forest when he did, their real home. He changed spots every day or so when he remembered to move, to another location any of them could get to blind, laying up in the trees and waiting. 

He wouldn't go back at all next year, those lessons meant nothing to him but a half-hearted hope they'd finally come up and talk to him at the end of one. At some point he lost track of time so bad he started waking up in cold sweats if he'd go up to the castle and they'd be gone. Would they forget about him over the summer? Would the school take away his bed next fall if he vanished off the face of the earth and nobody cared?

 He wouldn't go back to being Padfoot, not ever again if this was his fate. If they wanted him to think, than he'd be able to honestly tell them he was doing that in abundance when they came.

If they didn't...

Then he had nothing to go back to. 

5

Sirius was missing this game? Sirius was absent from the lineup below! Sirius wasn't here for the Quidditch Cup!? This had been much, much worse than any of them realized.

Captains Greengrass and Vosper were down below on the pitch having some intense conversation, Madam Hooch standing patiently in between the pair as they came to some decision, James was spinning on the spot like a loon as if he still hoped his mind were playing tricks on him, while Remus was forcing his way through the stands, determined to go tearing through the entire country if he had to, they needed to have this conversation now!

Several people were muttering, even more were giving him in particular dirty looks as they recognized the idiot Gryffindor who was friends with their lost match. He didn't know if he was tripped, or stumbled down the stairs in nerves, only Peter catching him saved his head from getting bashed open on the last one as he got back to his feet just as the whistle blew.

James was jogging over with a very white face.

Remus didn't look twice at his guilt ridden visage, he carried plenty of his own as he sprinted to the forest's edge before the rest of the stands had even let the first person out. Underbrush tore at his clothes, strange noises he had no care to identify echoed around, he had nicks and scratches a plenty and nothing to show for it. Only his many years traversing this place was the reason he wasn't hopelessly lost, and even still he had no care to leave yet as he found himself dangerously close to the slopes in the grounds where the acromantulas lived in the heart of the forest.

This place was bigger than the castle, they could look for the next few years and still never find him if Padfoot didn't want to be found. Would he even show up for the exams on Monday?!

"Sirius!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, for the first time wishing he could transform at leisure, he knew Moony would find him in a heartbeat. Why hadn't they learned locator spells yet? Was there even a spell for that?! "Sirius, please, I want to talk! Sirius!" His mind was flying into overdrive once more, of creatures that could easily best him out here on his own. Maybe he was in Hogsmeade though, living as a stray and someone had taken him in, finally a loving home that would never say another awful word to him. What if he just vanished and was never seen again? He hoped James would kill him. He wouldn't stop him.

They met back up under the awning of the empty stadium as night began to fall. He didn't need to ask if the other two had found him, it was obvious.

"I changed and caught a bit of his scent," Peter told them, "but it was a day old at least, over by the-"

James didn't even seem to hear him, his scarlet robes were more torn up than any game had ever done to him. "I'm going back to the castle for some parchment," he stated, barely even looking at them. "Map out the forest, section it off until-"

"Should have known, Quidditch," an odd voice said behind them, and they all whirled to see he was leaning in the shadows right where the dark shade of the trees stretched and the Quidditch pitch blanketed, casually watching them. His voice had never sounded so odd, could you actually lose it from disuse? He huffed, an unfriendly sort of noise as they just looked at him.

His shoulder was pressed casually to a post, that arrogant look of aloof coolness in place as he watched them from a safe distance. Remus fought back the urge to hit him in relief, that wouldn't help anyone right now. Instead he walked cautiously forward, like he really was approaching an animal that would bolt the second it felt too threatened.

Sirius didn't move though, watching him come closer with narrowed eyes, and the closer he got, the worse Remus felt. His hair was the worst mess it had ever been, there were barbs and twigs sticking out of it, his eyes were so dark it was a wonder if he'd slept at all these past weeks. His face was paler than Remus would swear his had ever been.

He turned his head just enough it was very clear who he was addressing even as he kept his eyes on Remus. "Well James, you call me out here to kill me for losing the cup? Can't believe Vosper isn't starting the man hunt yet."

"The guy will get on fine, he's a great player, his stats are good enough without one more win." James smiled, it was the first time Remus heard it in his voice in too long. "If you ever miss any of my practices next year when I'm captain though, I'll give you to Filch, have you strung up by your toes."

Sirius didn't laugh like he'd been hoping, Remus and Sirius were still having a staring match, you could just feel the crackling energy in the air. James fought the urge to grab Peter and pull him away, this was probably supposed to be private between them, but he feared they'd kill each other. 

James cleared his throat in the awkward silence, it was fully dark now and he felt like screaming. "So, Padfoot, err, have you thought about-"

"Yeah Prongs," Sirius still didn't take his eyes off Remus. "Been thinking a lot, and you were right okay. I, shouldn't have, I mean I should have thought it through. I'll apologize to Snape, and Remus, and whoever the bloody hell else you want. I swear, I solemnly swear, nobody ever goes down there again Remus doesn't want."

It was almost hysterical as James realized what he was doing. The arsehole was being literal and still respecting Remus' wish, 'not talking to him.'

Remus huffed then as he realized the same, but in that way he'd been doing since they started hanging out with him. That friendly, dramatic little exhale that clearly said, 'why do I put up with this?' He pulled Sirius into a hug and hung on for dear life. "Padfoot, you idiot."

Sirius finally relaxed as well as he hugged him back, and then James and Peter were laughing in relief. They didn't care if they were caught on the way up, the four hung onto each other all the way back up to the castle.

5

June

"I can die happy now that I never have to take another History of Magic exam!" Sirius cheered as he threw himself to the ground.

"I think I'm going to miss it, just a bit," Remus shrugged as he sat casually beside him.

James gasped like he'd been stabbed and Peter leaned forward in concern to check his forehead.

"What?" He laughed as he slapped his hand away. "My favorite naptime's gone! I think I might keep the class, merlin knows I'm not going to get to use the free periods for homework next year."

"You're just adding to your homework though!" Sirius looked at him like he was mad.

"Do you think they even have NEWT History of Magic?" James asked as he scratched at his ear, but he was still too full of energy to sit despite the blazing hot day and just finishing said OWL, so he started circling the tree. "I don't think anyone's ever been daft enough to continue."

"I don't even think Binns has ever had to put sixth and seventh years into his schedule," Peter agreed, eyeing James' progress with admiration, he was already sweating from being outside for five seconds.

"Perfect, I'll get the whole place to myself, maybe make a fort and sleep in there," Remus said with no regrets. Sadly they didn't have long to relax, lunch was over in the blink of an eye and Peter was jogging off for his Runes exam while the three of them tried to do some last minute studying for Astrology that night. Dinner was a particularly quiet affair for it, aside from James and Sirius of course. Remus was ignoring his steaming bowl of onion soup with no appetite while he poured over star charts, and the two loudly regaled anyone who would listen about all the O's they were about to get from their secret stash of Baruffio's Brain Elixir and offering a sip to others for only a galleon. Most people were, rightfully, calling crap on the two idiots, but they had a laughing crowd around them just like always.

Peter was staring just as morosely down at his cut of bread, he hadn't even put butter on it yet nor dunked it into Remus' food encouraging him to eat, or anything. Remus tapped him on the shoulder and jerked his head out, hoping for some last minute studying in the library before curfew, at least if the two followed they'd have to be quiet in there. Peter stood up and more than happily went with him, but his eyes strayed to the Slytherin table as they walked past.

Remus suddenly froze in confusion, looking all up and down it, and then back to Peter, who kept walking without a second glance. They made it up three steps before Remus whispered, "so, erm, I just realized, haven't seen Atria around, shouldn't you have been studying with her on those Runes? She mention how she do on her exam?"

Now Peter stopped, and just stared at him. Remus tried desperately to remember the last time he'd mentioned her at all, had they been fighting?

"She hasn't been here for months," Peter said bluntly, not staring at him at all, but looking to the dungeons where some of the others of that house were starting to make their way from dinner. "Her Mum was found dead. I've been sending her homework notes and owling her, but..."

"Oh my god!" Remus blurted far louder than he should have, some Ravenclaws passing turned and looked back in surprise. "Why didn't you say anything?"

The ugly look Peter shot him made him hop off the steps, they were finally eye level. "I tried, in March, but none of you could stop laughing for more than five seconds."

Remus opened, than closed his mouth, the word sorry sounded pathetic all of a sudden. He tried anyways, "merlin Pete, I really am sorry. I wouldn't have even thought, I mean, why her mum?"

Peter shrugged, watching the Great Hall now with a look Remus didn't even recognize. It wasn't quite longing, but something more bitter. "I still don't get the whole blood status thing, both her parents are half-bloods, her mum even came from one of those 28 Sirius and James are always blathering about. Shouldn't she be a pureblood, safe? I don't know, don't know why any of this is happening."

Remus had no idea what he meant by that, what did blood status have to do with anything?

Snape came out then, and gave Remus such a loathsome look he had to fight the urge to hide behind Peter. Only a few steps behind were James and Sirius, snickering and arguing who got the coin they'd actually managed to scheme while looking eagerly around.

Many students were milling about this way and that, some even stopping in place and going for a book now that their meal was over to check some answer right there. Tension boiled in the air, a Hufflepuff kid automatically walked entirely around them to the opposite side of the room before circling back to get to his side of the downward stairs.

It hadn't been a mistake though, Sirius caught Remus' eye, and walked right up to Snape, hands raised in surrender. "Oi!"

Snape spun away from Remus with a grace that disturbed him, hand already holding tightly to something in his pocket.

Sirius was no fool, but he stood his ground firm and didn't even flinch for his own now that he knew he had his attention. "I shouldn't have made any kind of insinuations about you dying, tree or no tree, and I'm sor-"

Snape flicked his wand, and Sirius found himself dangling dangerously high up by his ankle. Snape took off down the stairs while a few students snickered in surprise, but by the time a teacher was finally leaving to check out the noise, James already had him crashing back to the ground with that flash of light and they were taking off as well before anyone got caught.

"Can't say I didn't try," Sirius laughed off, smoothing out his hair and throwing an easy arm around Remus once more, though there hadn't been any tension left regardless, and Remus hadn't really expected him to go through with that part. "We all knew it wouldn't make a difference, slimeball that he is." They were all still snickering away when they got to the library, but Remus could have kicked himself as he realized they'd done it again and gave Peter a curious look if he was going to bring it up.

He didn't, just sat and muttered to himself the coming nights sky. Remus swallowed but decided to leave him to it, trying to comfort himself at least he'd asked, and James and Sirius probably long since noticed and were just politely not asking about it until Peter brought it up himself. Right?

5

Lily rubbed at her temple in frustration as she strained her mind to come up with the counter jinx for wiggling ears. Surely she'd get points knocked off for using Finite more than five times, and there was an exact one, she just couldn't remember-

"Quills down," a voice called from the front of the room. She sighed and watched her DADA exam fly off. Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed. Mary and Ersa came forward to help him to his feet, holding Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back upright.

"Thank you . . . thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

Lily stayed in her seat and kept pouring over her scratch paper for the answer still so she could swat herself in the face with it. They still had practical's after lunch, and she just knew this exact thing was bound to come up!

"Erm, Lily?"

She looked around in surprise to see Mary hovering by her desk. Bless and Ersa were standing at the doors impatiently.

"Oh, yes, err, coming," she laughed nervously as she grabbed her bag and realized she'd been the last one in here, she still wasn't used to anyone waiting around for her for once.

Mary had been going out of her way lately to include Lily, and she wasn't going to ask why anytime soon in fear it would end. Ersa and Bless were a tad less enthusiastic, but neither had spoken a word against her as far as Lily knew. She could only guess Mary had told them about what happened, and the fact Lily had been avoiding Severus this past month seemed to have put them in a slightly more easy going mood towards her of late.

"So, how do you think you did?" Mary asked eagerly. "I got all the wrist movements I'm sure, Professor Liz has been great about that, but I'm positive I swapped an incantation or two."

"Yeah, we got really lucky with her our OWL year," Lily agreed. "I can't believe she won the thousand galleon draw and left to travel, I'm so jealous!"

Bless and Ersa actually giggled in agreement, it was a wonderful feeling as they began circling towards the lake. They began taking off their shoes and letting their feet cool in the water as Lily properly answered, "alright, I guess, not as bad as I feared anyways. That question over werewolves was silly, I think, I absolutely missed that. Who's going to look at whether the tails tufted or not when you've got any kind of beast coming towards you?"

The girls laughed in agreement again, and Lily was starting to feel a bit euphoric at how normal all of this felt.

"All right, Snivellus?" Potter's voice once again shattered the peaceful air.

She looked around with everybody else and was not surprised at what she saw.

Potter had, as always, been hovering somewhere near her. Severus wasn't too far off, engrossed in his paper, or he'd just been looking for another fight and trying to follow Potter once more. She grit her teeth, but couldn't seem to force herself to turn away.

It must have been the first reason though, because he didn't react in time. "Expelliarmus!" His wand went shooting a dozen feet away. She grasped her own but forced herself still. Mulciber and Avery were his friends, they'd come along and see this and help him out.

"Impedimenta!" Potter shouted next, and she went as stiff as Severus did when he fell.

'It's not your problem,' she kept chanting at herself. Sev never left them alone, and he never would if she kept stepping in. Somebody had to stop the pattern eventually. He was disarmed now, surely they'd waltz off laughing like braying donkeys.

Instead they began going closer, Potter even looking right at her with a clear challenge in his eye for what she'd do next.

'Don't, don't do it,' but she wasn't sure who she was even hoping for anymore, Sev, herself, or Potter.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Potter demanded.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Black viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed, Bless and Ersa sounded particularly grating right next to her.

Sev was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"

"Wait for what?" said Black coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

Lily got slowly to her feet, heart thudding madly away. 'You're just giving them both what they want,' she tried one last time to stop herself.

"Wash out your mouth," said Potter coldly. "Scourgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

"Leave him ALONE!"

Ersa and Bless cringed away from her, Potter had the audacity to look at her again and ruffle up his hair with a smile he'd finally gotten his reward, and Severus didn't even look at her.

"All right, Evans?" said Potter, he sounded like a complete ponce when he made his voice do that.

"Leave him alone," she repeated. She'd never hated anyone so much in her life, she couldn't ever have just one thing without him ruining it. Not her best friend who now hated her because of him, not even any new friends, surely Mary wouldn't even want anything to do with her after this. She couldn't change her ways, she'd never just stand by and let them be so awful to anyone. "What's he done to you?" Maybe one of them would answer, Severus never had.

"Well," said Potter, pretending to have a brain for a moment as he clearly strained himself to think, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean . . ."

Even more people laughed this time, like this was funny, their weekly show they'd been lacking this month now back at the best time ever. She wanted to hex every last one of them, starting with this one. "You think you're funny," she said coldly, "but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. "Go on . . . go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Sev was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

She was not responding to give him a chance to recover, she told herself. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." Sev was getting ever closer to his wand. Maybe, this one time that she told them both at once she wasn't playing their games, Sev would walk off with her instead of fighting back.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Black briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"

He'd directed his wand straight at Potter; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of Potter's face, spattering his robes with blood.

Potter whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered now. Lily swallowed a laugh for the first time herself, the comeuppance for him never listening to her being thrown in his face like that. Instead, she snapped, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said Potter and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Black said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now, beyond tired of all of this. They eyed it warily, so there were some brain cells left.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

He sighed deeply, then turned and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said casually as Severus struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus - "

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Something fell into place, it felt oddly light as it settled around her, this clarity of how he'd always seen her, who he'd really been pretending around all these years. She blinked the fog away for the last time. "Fine, I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

It didn't feel as good as she'd hoped stooping to their childish levels of using that insult, she didn't feel much of anything right now except that crystal clarity.

"Apologize to Evans!" Potter roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want you to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on him, this was normal, this should make her feel back to normal. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." A feeling finally began kindling in her chest like she'd hoped, and it was for him, for Severus Snape, for every goddamn student in this whole castle. She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

She didn't look back.

Instead she moved faster as her façade began to crack, the first one came as she found the familiar steps, and she finally collapsed in her potions classroom without a clue how she'd gotten onto her stool as tears began.

There was no brewing potions, the place was empty for exams and felt cold for the first time without the simmering heat and haze of colors. Her own cauldron was already packed away in her trunk. His was in an unused classroom a few doors over, their love potion to beat all love potions still brewing. Instead she sat at their usual desk, shoulders shaking and coughing so hard it hurt because she couldn't stop the horrible sobs from coming no matter how much she wanted to.

Her hair fanned a curtain around her, it was the only color in her blurry eyes until a pretty flash of rainbow danced about when she swiped at her nose. She moved on instinct, but the clasp wouldn't come loose, and she began seething in frustration she couldn't get it off, he'd probably locked it in place back then and she'd been a fool for too long. She started slamming her wrist down on the desk now, she'd break it into a million pieces before she left that thing in place. She fell off the stool and still didn't stop.

A lifetime later and no seconds at all, she was alone with an overturned desk with no idea why the leg was halfway across the room. Her hand was a swollen, ugly mess from the wrist joint, every one of her fingers looked more like sausages and her arm was tingling unpleasantly, but the blueish tint it was starting to resemble was the only bit of color she cared about.

Trying to move her right arm as little as possible, she got slowly to her feet, using the smooth wood for support and hoping she didn't get a splinter now of all times, her mind only on the hospital wing instead of the rainbow links in all corners. Just one thing at a time.

She made it to the hallway and barely registered Professor Slughorn passing her, but he noticed, his great stomach nearly flattened her as he did a double take.

"Miss Evans! We've been looking all over the school for you, you've missed your Defense practical's!"

"Oh," was all she could think to say to that.

His eyes cast over her, and quantified laughably so when he saw her wrist. He escorted her up to the hospital wing demanding who had done this to her, he'd see them expelled, but she didn't bother to answer. She only listened with the most passive of interests later when McGonagall came by to see her and explain she could retake the DADA exam this summer for free, but she'd have to pay out of pocket for the rest if she missed,  as she wasn't excused from them since Madam Pomfrey had already fixed the damage to her arm.

The Matron was kind enough to adhere to her request to put curtains up after a seventh year came in hyperventilating about their final exam, ironically the one time she actually wanted to be alone and the place she'd found a modicum of solitude had people all around, and as always, the worst one of all as night fell.

"Mr. Potter? What on Earth-"

"Won't stop bleeding mam," his voice sounded as cheerfully casual as ever like he was still hailing her in the halls.

A slight creak of bed springs and several uttered charms seemed to prove his point quickly. There was something in her voice Lily suddenly suspected students had been hearing a lot this year, as the usually quiet nurse who always respected the students boundaries of how exactly they'd gotten into their latest magical accident asked in a no nonsense voice, "Mr. Potter, how did this happen?"

"You've never asked that before," his voice was edgy, unsure now, Lily had never heard him actually unconfident before.

"This is Dark Magic Mr. Potter, to not be closing properly! Please tell me, it will help find a solution faster."

Silence was her answer, and she gave a resound sigh when it hovered in the air and told in strictest tones, "you stay right there mister, keep pressure now."

Black's voice made her startle, she hadn't realized he was capable of being quiet, let alone here the whole time. "Why didn't you rat out that freak! The only reason I didn't is the last time I opened my mouth you didn't speak to me for three weeks!"

"Like it'll do any good," Potter sounded exhausted, she got the feeling this was not the first time they'd had this argument. "I'm far more concerned where Evans has run off to, can't believe you dragged me down here-"

"You're like snow in July mate! Here, swap out, you're dripping again." 

It was so inconceivable, the care in his tone, the human conversation she was living apart from.

"Listen Prongs, all her dorm mates swear on their wand she's not up there, and she wasn't in the dungeons, Peter said some fight went on down there and she's good at avoiding those, right? Shall I go get the map, if you're so worried?"

A smaller pause, she was just lying on her side, staring at the gaudy curtains, hardly daring to breathe.  She didn't know what map would be useful, but she was far too hollow to care. Finally, her blasted answer how he always seemed to know where she was with an answer so close at hand, and all she wanted was to make the noise stop.

"No, I guess not, won't do any good now. Pomfrey will have me in here the rest of the night thanks to you!"

"Moony and Wormtail will come down here and tell us when she comes up to the common room," his voice was so soothing and gentle. "Just relax back, yeah?" How close had he come to passing out before allowing this? "Far more importantly, what's Snivilius' punishment this time? I am not joking anymore about tying him up and leaving him in the Forest after this stunt." She reached up to touch her ear, just to make sure it hadn't fallen off in shock as he switched gears like that. There was that familiar cruel tone she knew so well.

"We'll have to plan it, make sure Hagrid can't walk in and stop us, might have to wait tell we get back." His voice was in tandem, and her empty stomach clenched.

She was saved from hearing the rest of that by the nurses return. "Here now, let me see how deep it is- oh yes, you're going to have a scar there dear. Start dabbing this on now, and drink up, I'll be back in just one moment."

The curtains did not part enough for her to get a peek out, let alone them in. She already knew the question on Madam Pomfrey's lips, and begged of her in the softest, most pleading voice, "may I have a dreamless potion? Please?" She was spent beyond her years, begging not to have to face the noise again so soon.

Her face was kind and understanding as she nodded and gave her a gentle pat, Lily wondered just how often people asked to stay here.

She'd lost track of the two, but now their voices trickled back through the curtains. 

"James, mate, don't fall asleep yet. Come on, drink some more."  

"Tastes like I'm sucking on a knut," his voice slurred with exhaustion.

"I'll tell Evans you said that!" His voice had a joking tone she wasn't used to hearing, there was no menace or threat in it. "She might actually talk to you if she finds out you don't swing her way!"

Another pause, the slightest sounds of the gulping stopped. "Sorry." She could not even begin to imagine the look on Potter's face for his best friend to sound so genuine.

"I just can't believe she really thinks I'm the same as him! I'd never call anyone that, let alone her! Hurts worse than this bloody cut she really- I, I don't know how to bloody-"

"We've been telling you for years she's up her own ass too much mate," he still sounded more apologetic than anything. "Maybe though, maybe this'll finally get her to ease up some, even she can't come back from defending that?" 

The final bell for curfew rang just as the door opened again, and the matron did not sound pleased. 

"Mr. Black, I will issue a detention if you linger any farther. Go on now, shoo, off to bed with you while I treat my patients."

There was no rebuttal or argument, just the soft thud of the door closing. It was not even the second most unbelievable thing she'd heard today.

"I'm going to patch this on Mr. Potter, yes I know it stinks but please, no don't scratch! We'll try another salve here in a moment, drink some more, you're so pale love. I'll be back in one shake."

The curtains fluttered again as she was handed the vial. She popped the quark without a second thought, a tangible need to tip it all the way back and escape. The blackness inside her began swirling up, behind her eyes, she was finally just allowed some peace as she sank back to the pillows in the quiet.

She woke up on the first day of the rest of her life still alone. With a painful feeling lodged deep in her heart, but finally a sense of feeling at all she would not ignore, she shoved the pattern aside to see Madam Pomfrey was tidying up. The bed beside her was still rumpled, she was tisking and putting away three chairs that seemed to have moved themselves overnight. 

She didn't bother to attend her Potions exam that day, but heard the cheers of delight even from a floor above as fifth years exalted. It went in one ear and out the other as she kept replaying it all in her head. Mudblood, dark spells, had there ever been anyone more pathetic than her? And Potter, James Potter, what a mystery that lunatic was...

Madam Pomfrey finally insisted she leave as dinner came and went, reminding she had to be packed for the carriages first thing in the morning. She didn't bother to correct she already was, she knew she couldn't hide in here forever, she'd have to get back on that train eventually.

Lily had hoped Mary had enough kindness in her not to bother her as she lay curled up in her bed in her night things to feign sleep having missed the Feast, but that was dashed as a tentative touch came to her shoulder.

A part of her wanted to hex the girl away, but she couldn't stand another fight, she'd probably evaporate into nothing. Instead she sat up and didn't care why Mary flinched and wouldn't look her in the eye as she whispered, "he's ah, down at the portrait hole. Said he'll sleep there again if you don't talk to him. He didn't believe me yesterday when I said you weren't-"

"Thanks Mary," Lily told her mechanically, she didn't even grab a robe as she slipped out of the door.

He really was there. She couldn't believe the nerve of him.

"I'm sorry," he said the moment she stepped out, but her hand didn't even leave the Fat Lady's portrait to swing shut on her. Every apology in their past might never have existed in this moment.

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!" He actually tried again.

"Save your breath, I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just -"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in her voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. Nobody can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends, you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No, listen, I didn't mean - "

" - to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole. She never spoke to him again.

5

"You going to be alright tonight Moony?" Sirius asked as the platform began rolling into sight.

They all knew he was stalling, but Remus still indulged him anyways. James was still pouting he hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye to Evans, who had vanished after the latest of their squabbles that day, and Peter was being oddly silent as well.

"Oh, you know, just like old times. I'll be fine," he shrugged as the loud hiss and breaking of tires began.

"Yeah, but I mean, I saw you last time you were alone again," Sirius reminded, biting at his lip for bringing that up himself, but he did look legitimately concerned.

"Mum and Dad have a handle on it, " Remus reminded with a humorless laugh. "Hope you behave yourself this summer."

"Oh you know me," Sirius grinned without remorse as they began pulling their trunks down. Walburga and Orion Black were distinguished as always for their haughty demeanor in the crowd, the train hadn't been stopped for a whole minute and Regulus was already visible by their side, hands behind his back and waiting with the same expression as them, the good little son he was, never keeping them waiting. "Going to have a blast with them."

HPHPHPHP

Friendly reminder that the reconciliation between Remus and Sirius isn't meant to establish that one side was right and the other was wrong. Remus is canonically a person who carries the choices of others on his shoulders in guilt, and Sirius remained an impulsive person the rest of his life which meant he never really did learn his lesson.

The fight between James and Snape has no right and wrongs. Both were in the wrong, plain and simple, but at least James grows up eventually.

Note that I am pushing complete on this for now not because I'm not going to do the last two years eventually, but because I really want to get back to All in the Family and this prequal was as much for the benefit of that fic as this one. Plus James is being stubborn about next year and giving me writer's block so a break will do me some good anyways.