27. Heart to Heart
The bunker was cramped and hot, and Bo already couldn't wait until they could leave. The wounded groaned in pain and discomfort from the makeshift beds the Forlorn had managed to fashion from anything they could in the airship. The rest of the group stood pressed up against the wall, barely able to move from one end of the bunker to the other. No light from the outside touched the interior, and they had to rely on dangling bulbs from the ceiling. Bo could imagine the suffocating blackness that would engulf them if the militia dropped bombs and the lights were knocked out.
Trying not to dwell on such thoughts, Bo turned and looked down the line of people to where Helga vigorously cleaned a rifle. Bo had been trying to keep an eye on the other woman, unable to shake a strange feeling of pity ever since Khan had mentioned Helga's attempts to capture Mi's attention. Even as she watched now, Helga's glance stole every few seconds toward Mi's figure across the bunker. Bo saw the softening of Helga's eyes and the way her hands slowed until she was barely cleaning the rifle at all. There was a pain there, like the kind Bo remembered in another pair of eyes that longed for something more. Adam had once viewed love from the outside, but been held back by Bo's own anger and fears. Now, she saw Helga experiencing the same thing.
Bo stuffed her hands in her pockets and picked her way across the bunker toward Mi. When she cut across into Helga's line of sight, she saw the other woman's expression slam shut and that familiar prickly anger come back in the form of a scowl. Bo merely shifted her gaze away, knowing that while Helga wouldn't want her talking to Mi, she might be appreciative in the long run.
Mi glanced up in surprise as Bo stopped by his side. He had been talking to one of the men in his team, and now both of them stared at her as if she was a creature from the stars. She cleared her throat and tried to act casual by leaning against the wall and propping one foot against it.
A small silence stretched out as Bo waited for Mi's underling to get the hint and leave. When he finally did, it was pretty obvious that she hadn't just wandered over for no reason.
"Hello, Mi," she said.
He raised an eyebrow. "Um, hello?"
"I was just passing by. Thought I'd say hi."
Mi nodded, already glancing around for any excuse to get out of the situation. Bo sighed, knowing she was the worst at subtly or small-talk. Might as well cut straight to the point.
"About Helga."
Mi's eyes widened. "Helga?"
"I noticed... well, there's stuff that's gone on between you two. I don't know any details, or anything about who was in the wrong or right. I'm not here to push you to forgive or forget, and in fact I know just how impossible that can be."
"Bo, I don't want to talk—"
Bo held up one hand, pleading in her eyes. "Just listen to me for a minute more. Please."
Mi sighed, but didn't make a move to leave.
Bo continued. "Adam wasn't the one to kill my mother, but he did kill other humans. He tore apart families with his teeth. While my mind logically knows that he was tortured and driven to do such deeds, my heart also knows that his hands are still the ones that are stained."
"And yet you are with him?" Mi said, a smallest edge sharpening his words.
Bo closed her eyes, remembering all those raging feelings from years ago. She had once been like Mi. She had once hated Adam just for simply being from the same species as the creatures that had killed her mother. She knew the struggle that went on in his chest every day, and what the sight of Helga must do to him.
"Yes. I am with Adam," she said. "Because I love him. And it took me ages to admit that to myself, let alone act on it. I was so mad at him and myself, and the feelings warred inside me until I felt sick."
"Then you know not to talk to me about this," Mi said, pushing away from the wall and turning to leave.
"Wait! Mi!" Bo grabbed his arm, stopping him but not able to turn him to face her. "I learned that it's so hard to forgive someone who has done such terrible deeds, but that it is also hard for them to forgive themselves. Adam and Helga... I can see in both of them a longing to scrape the blood off their skin. Both of them long to make amends and right the wrongs they committed."
"It doesn't matter to me what they wish," Mi muttered.
"I know. But I ask that you do just one simple kindness for Helga. And if you can't do it for Helga, do it for the person you lost. Please, just tell Helga to move on and not wait for you. Don't let her wallow in the torture that you do. Let her know that she has no chance."
Bo caught a glance of Mi's face as he glanced Helga's way. His eyes rested on the other woman, who now was back to cleaning her rifle with full-concentration. She looked so small from this distance. A thin young woman with eyes as lonely as the moon. Mi must have noticed it too. His eyes stayed on Helga's face as she sighed out, brushing stray hair from her damp cheek with the back of her forearm. Bo bit her lip as she saw a softness in Mi's face, the first she'd ever seen him have with Helga. It was the same sort of look Helga sent him in the shadows, and now she was the one missing it. Perhaps.... Perhaps it might be like Adam and herself. They might learn to—
"Why would I deliver her from the pain that I must suffer through all my life?" Mi whispered. He glanced behind him at Bo once, and then pushed his way through the crowd to the opposite end of the bunker where the door was. Bo sighed in frustration and smacked her leg with a balled fist. Had she ever been this stubborn with Adam? She made a mental note to tell him sorry if she'd been as pigheaded as Mi.
"What's going on here? First Khan, now Mi? Are you on a mission to make me beat up every single male in the Forlorn?"
Bo turned to see Adam standing behind her, a smirk on his face.
Bo rolled her eyes. "I was just talking to him about something unpleasant. No need to worry."
"Well, good. I was getting worried I'd have to start keeping an eye out for you leaving me."
"That would never happen," Bo said, leaning forward on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
"Good to know," Adam replied.
"Did you come to see me for some reason, or you just wanted to snuggle?" Bo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Wow, way to ruin my credibility in front of my men," Adam said, rolling his eyes.
"I mean if you're too ashamed for cud-"
"I'll take you up on it sometime when we're not packed into a dark tunnel with a hundred other people." He ran his hand along her side, resting it on the small of her back. "But for now," he whispered in her ear. "We need to talk about plans."
"Oo, plans. My favorite," Bo said, in a husky voice that mimicked the one Helga used on men.
Adam shook his head and laughed, pulling away from Bo and pointing to a section of the bunker away from the injured. "Come on, we'll talk over there with Khan and Helga."
The group assembled and Adam took the lead. "We can't stay here for very long, so we'll need to start looking for a new place to stay while we wait for the militia to grow tired of looking for us."
"Where?" Khan asked.
"I was thinking maybe an abandoned settlement?"
"I can think of a few places that might be suitable," Helga said. "We'll have to get some supplies in, but they're pretty well hidden in the dust fields."
"Right. Good," Adam said. "I wanted three of us to head out and start looking for a new place in the airship tonight."
"Tonight?" Bo asked. "But isn't that a little dangerous?"
Adam sighed. "Of course. But I don't trust these smugglers. We're a heavy drain on resources, and I have a feeling they may think the reward isn't worth it and murder us all in our sleep."
"Yeah, being practically in a grave already doesn't help much either," Khan said, looking up at the low ceiling with apprehension.
Adam nodded. "Once the sun falls, Bo, Helga, and I will go on the airship with Silver and start looking."
"What! Why not me?" Khan demanded.
"I'd rather someone who knows how to be in charge stays behind to take care of our people," Adam said.
"What and Mi can't do that?"
"He can, but I'd really like you to," Adam said.
"But Adam—"
"Khan!" Helga barked. "Just follow orders for once in your life!"
Khan frowned and Bo could see he was fuming. Yet, miraculously, he finally agreed to being left behind. No doubt Mi would be hearing a great deal of complaining while they were away, and she almost pitied him.
"All right. Let's tell Silver he needs to have the airship ready in a few hours," Adam said. He glanced around the bunker. "Where is he?"
"Last I saw, he was at the end over there," Helga said, jutting her chin toward the end of the bunker with no door. Sure enough, Silver stood with his back to the wall, barely illuminated by a hanging lightbulb. He was busy talking into a radio, but when he saw them looking at him he smiled and waved. Adam waved him over, and he stuffed the radio in his pocket as he picked his way through the people.
"What is you want, boss?" Silver asked, cracking his neck. "Hopefully something out of this hole."
"Today's your lucky day, then. That's exactly what we want."
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