We saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

AN: Inspired by the song 'I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' by the Jackson 5. No cacti were hurt during this production.

Nuffink yawned as he groggily woke up. He felt that he needed to pee so he left the bunk bed he was sharing with his sister, Zephyr, and padded out of the bedroom while sporting a penguin onesie. The young boy, barely six, had to walk past the landing to reach the upstairs bathroom but he stopped when he heard giggling downstairs. It was already past nine, well past any young child's bedtime. To Nuffink it seemed weird since he thought everyone went to sleep during this time.

He stopped, got on all four, and crawled to the edge of the landing to see the living room downstairs. The Christmas tree was beautifully decorated with baubles and lights. And he could see his mommy on the couch reading a magazine.

"Ho Ho Ho!" Came suddenly and the little boy's eyes widened when Santa suddenly walked into the living room. Nuffink couldn't see a face since Santa had his back to the landing but he saw his mommy get up and approach the man. She then proceeded to plant a kiss on Santa. Nuffink's eyes widened and he did the only thing he could think of at the moment. He bolted from his hiding spot and rushed back to the room to wake his sister.

Rushing back into the room and calling out Zephyr's name only caused the girl to groan before rolling onto her side with her back towards her little brother.

"Zephyr!" Nuffink called again.

"Go to sleep you little turd!" Zephyr grumpily muttered.

"But I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus!" Nuffink told her. This caused Zephyr to groggily sit up and look down at her brother from her bed.

"Huh?!" The girl muttered as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"I did! I really did see Mommy kissing Santa Claus!" Nuffink stated. "Coooome on!" He then indicated for Zephyr to follow him. With a frustrated groan, Zephyr shuffled out of her nice warm bed and mentally promised herself that she'd whack her brother if he was pulling her leg.

When both children were sneaking to look over the landing Zephyr's eyes widened when she saw her mom dancing with Santa under the mistletoe. Soft Christmas music was playing in the background as the pair danced in the living room. Zephyr saw her mom lean in again, kissing Santa on the cheek and then whispering something in his ear.

"Come on!" Zephyr said as she grabbed Nuffink's arm and dragged him back to their room. Once inside Nuffink said "See! I wasn't lying! What are we going to do now?"

"Well, obviously we are going to tell dad," Zephyr grumbled.

"Daddy won't believe us!" Nuffink said. "He didn't believe me when I told him that there was a unicorn monster in our closet,"

"I didn't believe you when you said there was a unicorn monster in our closet," Zephyr deadpanned. "Oh if daddy had only seen,"

"So now what?" Nuffink asked as they certainly didn't get a picture as proof.

Unbeknownst to the kids, the situation in the living room was quite different from what they saw just a few minutes ago. Astrid was reading about Peach pie recipes when her husband came into the living room dressed as Santa.

"Ho Ho Ho!" Hiccup said as he watched Astrid lookup. She put her magazine down, got up, and walked towards Hiccup. Then she planted a kiss on his lips.

"Well don't you look handsome," Astrid laughed. "My very own Santa under the mistletoe." She placed her arms around Hiccup's neck and began to slow dance with him as Margaret Whiting's 'Baby, it's cold outside' played on the TV. The couple danced for a bit more, with Astrid kissing Hiccup on the cheek again and then giggling. She whispered in his ear that his beard tickled.

"The kids are going to be so surprised," Astrid smirked. "They almost caught us last year with the presents. This time they really will see Santa if they are creeping,"

"Yeah about that," Hiccup mumbled as he still swayed with his wife to the music. "I think the costume might be a bit too tight for me around...." Hiccup indicated towards the pants.

Astrid frowned before muttering "Well you are tall,"

"You know what, I'll wear the costume tomorrow night," She then suggested.

The following day both Zephyr and Nuffink made their way down to breakfast. They were less enthused than Hiccup would have thought and they were avoiding talking with Astrid for the whole meal.

"Now what was that about?" Hiccup asked after the kids went back upstairs while he and Astrid did the dishes. "You'd think they would say yes to helping me make Santa's cookies later on."

Astrid just shrugged and attributed the whole thing to children being... Well... children.

Meanwhile, back upstairs both Zephyr and Nuffink were holed up in their room plotting.

"Ugh, how can they act so normal!" Zephyr grumbled. "If daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night..."

"Why was Santa even in our house?" Nuffink then asked.

"How should I know?" Zephyr shrugged. "He was. And what about poor Mrs. Claus? You think she'd beat up mom if she found out?"

"So what do we do now?" Nuffink then asked.

"We need to make sure Santa doesn't come back," Zephyr stated.

"And....... How exactly do we do that?"

"We go Home Alone on his ass!" Zephyr then declared.

"But we aren't home alone," Nuffink didn't get the reference which caused his older sister to groan.

"Just hand me the colored markers," She then said in exasperation as she began to draw the outline of the house on a piece of paper. "We got planning to do for tonight."

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, except for the two kids, hoping to get Santa out;"

"Will you stop narrating?!" Zephyr turned towards her annoying little brother as they were creeping down the stairs towards the living room with a bag full of pranks.

"Oh come on sis! That was perfect!" Nuffink replied.

"Will you keep it down?" Zephyr groaned. "We don't want to wake mom and dad,"

"But sis!" Nuffink eagerly said "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.... NOT!"

"Okay, I admit you have a point with this rhyming parody," Zephyr sighed.

"So whatcha doing?" Nuffink questioned as he saw his sister dump Tabasco sauce from the kitchen into the milk laid out for Santa.

"Look, just go find me something hard and pointy," She then instructed her brother. Nuffink went to rummage around in the dark living room while Zephyr set up pointy darts under the fireplace just in case. She was waking out some rope she snagged from her father's workbench earlier that day and saw Nuffink come back munching on a peppermint sugar cane.

"I got this sis!" Nuffink then declared as he held up their mother's potted cactus and an extra sugarcane.

"We can't use Jerry!" Zephyr hissed. She wanted to get rid of Santa, not have her mother go on a murderous rampage because of her prized cactus.

"But you said to find something hard and pointy...." Nuffink mumbled.

Zephyr groaned as she looked at the clock. They didn't have much time anymore. Santa would be here in a couple of hours. "Fine, give me the cactus," She then said as she got the rope out of her bag. "You get your winter coat on and we'll start icing the driveway and lawn."

Zephyr was smart. She knew her dad's PIN number to the alarm system and easily shut it off. The siblings were dressed warmly as they scampered across the snow-covered yard to get the hoses. It was late at night so no one could see them spraying water on the front porch and lawn.

"Hey sis," Nuffink said as he was holding one of the hoses. "Shouldn't we be icing the roof? Doesn't Santa usually come through a chimney?"

"Have you seen our chimney? He'd never fit." Zephyr shrugged. She had, after all, already placed spikes and marbles around the fireplace inside.

"I guess you're right....." Nuffink shuffled to keep warm.

Once everything was ready the kids went back inside with enough time to spare. Meanwhile, in Hiccup and Astrid's room, the alarm went off.

"Hmmmghthjk," Astrid groaned and reached for her alarm to shut it off but unfortunately she reached with the wrong hand and ended up smacking her husband in the face.

"H-Honey.... That's my nose you're pinching," Hiccup said rather nasally as he noted his wife was trying to find the snooze button.

When Astrid finally did amble out of bed and made her way to the closet to pull out the Santa outfit and a sack of gifts Hiccup was groggily watching her try to put on a left boot on her right foot.

"Do you want me to go instead, honey?" Hiccup asked but Astrid just waved him off with an "I got this".

Astrid finally dressed as Santa, made her way out of the room and down the stairs. The kids who certainly hadn't been sleeping but instead lying in wait heard the thumping in the house. When looking through a crack in their door they saw a Santa hat as someone was going down the stairs.

"How did he get in?!" Nuffink questioned as he was really confused. According to his sister, Santa should have slipped on the lawn already.

"Shhhhh," Zephyr motioned and the kids crept out of their room, stopping at the landing to spy on the 'intruder'.

Both Zephyr and Nuffink spied on 'Santa'. They saw him place presents under their tree and in their stockings from his big red bag and then focus on the plate of cookies and glass of milk.

Astrid who was now more awake had been humming 'Jingle Bells Rock' as she placed the presents. Once she was done she focussed her attention on the cookies and milk. Her hubby always made the best gingerbread cookies and she wasn't about to let them go to waste. Savoring each bite she finished off the plate before grabbing the glass of milk. Though once she downed it, instead of cool milk she felt the burning sensation of pepper. Very very hot peppers.....

"HJKLKJHGF#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*!!!!!!" Astrid exclaimed as her tongue was burning.

"Nuffink go open the door quickly!" Zephyr instructed as she stood up from the landing to see 'Santa' fan his mouth.

The room was still dark, only illuminated by the Christmas lights, so Nuffink quickly crept by the struggling Santa and yanked the front door open.

Astrid who was still trying to get the heat of the Tabasco sauce off her tongue ended up sitting down on the couch only to yelp when her behind made contact with several thumbtacks. As she shot up again her feet ended up on the marbles scattered near the fireplace and she valiantly tried to keep her balance but it was to no avail.

Astrid fell backwards while grabbing onto the only thing she could find, which was the TV remote. The TV turned on and started blaring Mele Kalikimaka by Bing Crosby. When Astrid did get up Zephyr yelled "This is what you get for being a homewrecker Santa!"

Zephyr had put the potted cactus on a rope and makeshift pulley and chucked the plant at 'Santa'. The cactus acted like a pendulum, hitting Santa, sending him sprawling on the marbles and out the open door that Nuffink was still holding.

Astrid screamed as she slid across the living room floor on marbles and then on the cold slippery yard before ending upside down in a snowdrift on the side of the road.

Hiccup meanwhile had woken up from the TV being turned on. And as he dashed out of the room upon hearing the commotion he saw his wife sliding out the front door with Nuffink closing it behind her and Zephyr standing on the landing looking triumphant.

"Daddy! DADDY! WE DID IT!" A rather pleased-looking Zephyr exclaimed upon seeing her perplexed father.

"What in Thor's name is going on here?!" Hiccup questioned as he tried to get his brain to work so early in the morning.

"Daddy we did it!" Zephyr said as Nuffink joined her.

"We got rid of Santa, daddy!" Nuffink then proudly proclaimed.

"You did what?!" Hiccup uttered as his eyes widened.

"Daddy! You have to believe us! We saw mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!" Zephyr proclaimed.

"We did, we really did," Nuffink added as he was bouncing up and down.

"Wait what?" Hiccup was so confused.

"Santa wanted to steal mommy, daddy!" Zephyr exclaimed. "But we showed him not to mess with us Haddocks!"

"Mommy and you belong together dad!" Nuffink added as well. "Santa was just being a big meanie..."

Then everything clicked and it dawned on Hiccup. The scream and him seeing a Santa slide out of the house. "ASTRID!!!" He called out for his wife and dashed down the stairs, throwing the door open, and upon seeing that Astrid was still stuck in the snowdrift, ran out to pull her out. It was still 2 AM in the morning. No one could blame him for his brain being slow.

Hiccup helped his wife out of the snow pile and the kids who were standing on the front porch wondered in confusion why their dad would help Santa. Especially after what they had told him.

"MOM?!" Zephyr questioned upon seeing her mother yank the fake beard off after she had been pulled out.

"You two are in so much trouble!" Astrid exclaimed.

"It was her/his idea!" Both Nuffink and Zephyr said at the same time while pointing fingers at each other on the front porch of their house.

The kids gulped and then ran back into the house. This certainly would be an eventful Christmas morning.

AN: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!! (Porg and Vala wave to readers while being chased by Harry)