Chapter 1

Life is in constant motion. Time doesn't stop for just one person. I personally wish it did. So that now I could pause time and maybe even reverse time. To stop the moment that changed my entire life. It was my fault anyways.

  My name? Jessica Rose Michaels. You are probably wondering who the heck I am, and about that moment that changed my life. The moment that will live with me for the rest of that different life. I've lived in this tiny town in Georgia since the moment I was born to the best family a young girl could ask for. But that family has changed. So I'm now moving with my older brother and my perky yet innocent five year old sister Lily.

We are moving to yet another tiny town, yet this one I hope is different. All towns hold that same charm, homy feel, but I don't want that at this one. The town is Eberly. As soon as I saw it on the map months ago I dreamed that it would be my escape. We could live there with our heads down, people not knowing us for what happened. That they would just know us as three children who came all the way from perfect Georgia to the big state of New York.

     I've always felt that I was different, or maybe I was praying I was different. I didn't want to be some regular girl who grows up to be a boring women with a bland job, family, and lover. I guess now I know I will never be bland. The nurse at the hospital made sure of that when she gave me a speech full of sincerity and sympathy the moment I woke up.

   After the accident, I should have never gone back to school. I already thought I lost everything, but I guess there was more to my life. But only a bit. I lost my so called friends, all my teams and clubs went down hill. I was in matheletes(what I like math), debate team, volleyball team, track team, and the most important of them all the soccer team. I was the captain of the school soccer team and my mom was the best coach in the world. Without her, our team went downhill. Everyone hated me and was upset, but somehow they seemed to forget that I lost my mother in all of this. It was if I walked around yelling at everyone to just take their best shit at me. Except I didn't and all the people at my school are plain evil. I then realized that they were all just pinning me down.

What I needed was to be free.

So we decided to move away. As soon as my junior year of high school ended and Lily's year of kindergarten ended Nathan and I packed everything up.

And I plan to change. The moment we pass by the town sign reading 'Eberly'.

Little did I know, I didn't officially change until months later.

  "Jess! Did you get my unicorn stuffy?"

I turn around to see the culprit of the happily voice.

"Of course little flower." I give a grin as I hand Lily the vibrantly coloured unicorn, that I had been staring down at for the past few minutes in deep thought. I make a smile as she takes it at without hesitation, not knowing the meaning behind it.

"But dad," I laugh as I sit down beside him on Lily's bed. "I'm fourteen years old, you know I don't love stuffed animals anymore. I'm a big girl."

I give him an eye roll as he stares back at me with his fatherly gaze, but break out into a smile, revealing my braces.

"Ah yes Jessa, I'm fully aware you are a big girl with an even bigger attitude." My father chuckles deeply. "But I am also aware that you are also my daughter. And both of my daughters deserve my affection."

My smile never fades as both of us look down to little Lily. She peers back up at us, her big blue eyes watching us, even at two years old my sister is observant. She cuddles into her soft new stuffy. She's almost asleep, that's how comfortable and cozy she is. That even with a few seconds of having the unicorn, she is already at home with it.

"Here are your unicorns my beautiful princesses." My father looks back and forth between Lily and I.

I grin at him full of amusement. My father has always been quite the jokester, yet he can also be sincere and serious. I guess that's what comes with being a doctor. My dad has both a passion and love for children and saving their lives.

I notice Lily is indeed sound asleep, and I smile for what has to be the millionth time with in being in the presence of these two wonderful humans that I get to call my family.

I begin to stand up from my seated position on Lily's brand new 'big kid' bed. But my dad stops me right as I stand up.

"Jessa?" His voice calls out from behind me, making me turn around to face him.

"Yea dad?"

"Unicorns symbolize the spirit of purity, innocence, and childhood." He stares at me with his calculating eyes, his face full of seriousness. "Just remember that the next time you think you are a big girl."

That memory begins to flash away from eyes and I find myself standing back outside of our house. I look up at the window which is from Lily's room. Right where that happened.

That's why I needed to leave.

"Why are we leaving our home?" She speaks back, now sad. Luckily she can't read my thoughts, she's not that observant even though she has definitely grown up in the past few years.

"To go to a new home, to get a new start. Mommy and daddy would want us to do that." I avoid looking down at her, not wanting her to see the pain on my face as I still stare at the house.

"But I have friends here like Sadie and Sophia." she tries not to sound like a whiny baby, talking about our neighbours across the street.

Yea well I don't. I think about saying but don't. "Come on let's go help Nathan with rest of the boxes." I say instead meaning to change the subject.

This time I know I've grown up dad. I think to myself, as if a part of me thinks my parents can hear my thoughts. There's no need of that unicorn anymore.

But don't worry, I still have it.

"Okie dokie." Lily sings and skips off as if forgetting the whole conversation. I let out a deep sigh I didn't know I held in. It was if even doing the basic things like talking have gotten difficult to do.

Why does life have to be so hard, a voice in my head says. Suck it up, another voice says.

I finally turn my stare away from the house, knowing I've gotten a good enough last glance at it. And I painfully look at something else. Or someone else I should say.

  Yet as I watch her skip away from me I realize something. Lily might be like the mini version of me, but I'm the mini version of our mother.

  And our mother is probably either smiling down at me for realizing we have to move away. Or she's frowning at me knowing I will fail miserably at starting out.
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Thank the lord. After months at last I have put a respectable distance from me and that wretched place they call Madison, Georgia.

Now for the hard part. Now that I've gotten the fresh, new start, it's time for me to really use it.

I have to change, show them I can be happy, show them I can be myself again, just in a different.

"You don't have to play a part," The voice of the unknown singer sings through my headphones. "Just be who you are."

If only that were easy.

"I love that you're different, in a cool way." The singer continually sings strong, as if trying to telling me to believe him. But I knew they loved me. As I loved them and will forever love them.

"You always stand out, but don't be afraid."

I've never been more afraid in my entire life, well....

Except that dark, dangerous night.

"Let the whole world see that you're still free." I keep my eyes shut still, pretending to be asleep. I know I'm free, but with that freedom comes millions of responsibilities, and even more pain.

"I love that you're different."

I know I will always be different. But I just want to lay low for this year, live my life normally, if that's even possible.

"So please don't change."

If only life was that easy. But if it was I wouldn't even be in this car driving hours away from my old life.

And instead I'm so close to my new one.

"Jess! Jess! Are u awake?"  Lily whispers right in my ear from the back seat.

"No....why?" I reply snapping out of one of my many think pings that lead to sinkings. That's what I call them.

"Look, a horsie, ah it's so pretty!" She squeals, and I can already tell she is pressing her face up against the window, as if hoping to get a better view. That's what we used to do.

"They are beautiful." I say, pretending that I'm look out the window in fascination, when really my eyes are actually snapped shut.

"Get used to them Lily, this town is known for being surrounded by many horse farms." Nathan replies from the driver seat of the family car.

I don't even know how he would know that.

My older brother being my older brother, didn't spend his free time knowing weird facts like this, but instead hanging around with his other college friends at parties. I always told him he wouldn't get a good job by acting like that, even though I am his younger sister who isn't even in grade 12 yet.

But I guess we all had to grow up.

"Yay!" Lily cheers, clapping her small hands together.

"Are we almost there?" I ask, fighting back giving my brother a bored look.

"Yep in a couple of  minutes we will reach the little town of Eberly." He says smiling.

Why the heck is everyone in my family so happy? Oh wait, I know why. Because they actually believe that their new lives will be a success, unlike mine.

I was always an independent student, friend, daughter, and teammate, but everyone has these few people in their life they secretly needed desperately.

That is why I'm the one taking it the worst.

"My new start." I whisper to myself so quietly hoping he doesn't here it. I peer out the window as we drive by a basic town sign, signalling our arrival in this town with apparently only a few hundred more people than Madison, Georgia.

"Oh yea, our perfect new start." Nathan blurts out from the driver seat, thinking I was saying it to him. "I'm totally gonna find some sick restaurants in this town."

My brother ladies and gentlemen.

Cares deeply for food.

Well, it runs it our family, but at the moment I am completely unfazed by the food in this town and more about what the actual makers of the food will be like. And the children of those workers. More specifically the students I will have to interact with.

"So what do you think of starting kindergarten here Lily?" He then asks to Lily, who is sitting in the back seat beside me.

"Cool, I hope I make lots of friends like Sadie and Sophia." she says then goes back to humming some random song.

"Of course, I bet you will make tons of friends my little flower." Nate says using her nickname we all used to use.

"How about you Jess, what do you think NorthWood High will be like?" The guy who supposedly wants to actually talk to me a lot today asks me.

"It seems alright, I only want to join a few things, make a few friends." I say plainly. Last year I was in about four or five clubs and teams. Mathletes, debate team, track team, volleyball team and I was the captain of the soccer team.

"What about soccer?" He asks so carefully as if I'm about to explode with rage. I roll my eyes at this.

"I don't know yet, it depends on if I'm busy all the time after school." I actually reply truthfully. Which I will be, watching Lily.

"Mom would want you to tryout." He says as if talking about her and dad is the easiest thing to do. But it's not for me.

"Yea well mom is not here." I snap back at him. I'm very sensitive about the topic of my mom and dad.

"Hey look Nathy and Jess we are in Eberly now!" Says little Lily, who I complete forgot was there, as we drive down the Main Street.

"Yea and we will soon see our new house which is in a subdivision on the other side of Eberly." says Nate as he makes a right turn.
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"Wow it's so gorgeous." I gasp as we all hope out of the car. I look up at our new house. It was a beautiful two story gray house that had a modern yet cozy vibe from just looking at it. The front yard had a beautiful garden with a bunch of lilies and petunias and there was a large two door garage attached to the house. I could spend my days kicking a soccer ball up against one of the doors.

"It is." Nate and Lily both say in unison. We all grin at each other, me finally breaking the tough girl act.

"Let's go inside and check it out." Nate states. He unlocks the door and we all gasp again,well Lily squealed. We opened the door to find a gorgeous stairway leading upstairs straight ahead, part of a usages kitchen peeking out behind it, a huge living room to the right and a huge office space to the left.

"It's even more beautiful inside." Nate exclaims.
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A few hours later once we got all the boxes into the house and figured out all the rooms for each of us.

I got a huge sized bedroom with a window facing the neighbours to the left and a window facing the street. There is even a bathroom attached to my room! I could get used to this, I say in my head, as I flop down on my queen sized bed which was also just delivered. I should actually be productive and do something. I then roll out of my comfortable bed. I walk out of my room into the hallway and go to the bedroom across the hallway which is the room that Lily claimed.

I peek my head in her room to see her laying down on her bed while watching Nate take all her things out of the many boxes. All of it is pink, literally. Nate is lucky the walls are already pink or else Lily would have been making him paint them instantly. She is obsessed with pink, almost as much as I am obsessed with fictional characters.

"Having fun?" I ask them with a small smile playing on my lips.

"Oh of course." Nate replies with a tone that I speak fluently in, also known as sarcasm.

"Well, I'm going to do a bit of sorting through the boxes for downstairs and then make some supper, okay?" I ask them, with a small smile again.

"Can you make your one of a kind supper Jess?" Lily sings happily while jumping up and down on the floor. I laugh and reply of course then exit the doorway.

I haven't laughed in awhile. Maybe that's going to change. Maybe.

But I know things will never be the same, I haven't quite figured out why though. Maybe my friends will be perfect? Or maybe totally trash? But I know something else will happen.

Something different than last year.

Something that isn't my parents dying.

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Hey perfect people!!

  So this is the first chapter of the book. Yea, I know it's a bit short and doesn't explain much of the plot yet. I just recently sent back and fixed it up a ton, that's how crappy it was. But trust me, the whole plot jumps together literally right near the end of the next chapter! And the chapters get even longer (I'm writing this chapter after I've already gotten pretty far into the book), for example Chapter 20 is 20 pages!!

  Also, above are the pictures of the people who play Jessica and Spencer.... Jess will be played by Johanna Braddy and Spencer will be played by Francisco Lachowski!!

  Oh and the song that Jess was listening to in the car is Different by James TW, I just found him and his music is so meaningful and emotional, this song especially clicked with this story. It will be linked above!

Anyways what do you think so far? Why do you think it's Jessica's fault what happened to her parents? What do you think of Lily and Nathan? Let me know I'm the comments! Please don't be a silent reader!

Bye for now my lovely bookworms,
Ashley🌸