ミ●﹏☉ミ

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It was the afternoon and the kids-except Mary- were in the kitchen attempting to make ice cream while the queen's go on their usual Sunday shopping.

Liz: So- You take this.. heavy cream?

She lifted it up and down.

Liz: It's not even heavy-

Roy: I don't think that's what it meant Liz-

Mezza: dumbass-

Liz scoffed.

Liz: I heard that-

Janie: Does anyone know how to open cans?

Ed: You need the can opener I think-

Janie: Oh okay.. how do you use can openers-

Others: We have no idea-

Mae: I want to crush the oreos!

Roy: Okay Mae- c'mere.

He picked her up and places her on a high stool.

Liz: If she falls I'm telling on Mary-

Roy: Oh please, Mae is a smart girl, like her mother-

He patted Mae, who smiled.

Mezza: So that explains why Lizzie is a dumbass because her mother is a crackhe—

Liz: Don't finish that sentence if you don't want another furniture rammed into your skull finishing that scar on your head!

Ed: Mezza is Harry Potter?

Liz: Wha- no-

Janie: Hermione?

Liz: NeVeR.

Roy: Luna Lovegood?

Liz: That cinnamon roll acts NOTHING like Mezza-

Mezza: Bitch-

Ed: Oh! I know! Bellatrix??

Liz: That's close but she's not that crazy-

Roy: It has to be Umbridge, cmon!

Mezza: You guys are mean-

Janie: Liz... dOnT tELl mE sHe's sNaPe.

Liz: HE'S TOO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT TO BE MEZZA.

Mezza: wHo aM I tHen.

Liz smirked and turned.

Liz: mARY WHO'S MEZZA IN HARRY POTTER???

Mary: wHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS FROM THE KITCHEN-

Liz: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION-

Mary: VOLDEMORT.

Mezza: Are you fuckin' kidding me—

everyone bursts into fits of laughter  as Mezza glared at them.

Roy: That's so- a-accurate-

Mezza: sHut uP aLl oF yOu-

Mary walked downstairs to check what the commotion is all about.

Mae: Mary!

Mary: Hi Mae-

She walked to the kitchen and gave Mae a small hug before covering her ears.

Mary: What the fuck- did you idiots do-

Mezza: Liz started it-

Liz: No I didn't-

Ed: We're casually making ice cream sis-

Mary: "casually"?

Ed:

Ed: Chaotically-

Mary: . . Seriously- don't do anything stupid- because it'll be coming out of my pay-

Janie: You get payed to look after us?-

Mary: uHm- weLl-

Others: 👁️👄👁️

Mary: dOnT loOk aT mE liKe tHat- aNd yEs I gEt pAyEd-

Liz: That's so unfair-

Ed: I'm not letting you babysit me for mOnEy-

Mezza: sHarE tHe dAmn mOnEy-

Roy: Hey- I'm just a year older than you why am I not getting payed-

Liz: We got to know they were leaving first though-

Mary: Well, I was born first.

Mary removed her hands off of Mae's ears.

Mary: What on earth are you guys even making-

Mezza: Ice cream, dUh.

Mary: Don't "dUh" me, Stuart-

Janie: Hey Mary, do you know how open a can??

Mary: Can opener.

Janie: We don't know how to use it, besides I don't even think if we own a can opener-

Mary: Fair enough- give me that can.

Janie hands Mary the condensed milk, she reached for a knife and took one out.

Roy: Are you going to sacrifice us-

Mary: I would love to but I'm not really in the mood-

She drops to the floor and starts banging the top of the can with a knife.

Mezza: jEeZuZ-

Ed: Don't cut yourself-

Liz: Is that how you use a can opener?-

Mary stands back up with a freshly opened condensed milk in her hands, she places it on the counter and starts licking her fingers.

Roy: Can we have som—

She pointed the knife at Roy.

Roy: Okay-

Ed: diBs oN pOuRiNg iT-

Mezza: That's boring, diBs oN eAtiNg tHe rEsT-

Mary: N O- we are not using it all- this goes in the fridge where it belongs-

Ed had already began pouring the condensed milk on the cream-

Liz: Can I mix it?-

Roy: No- I'm the one who's going to mix it.

Liz: What's my job then-

Roy: Putting this in the freezer.

Liz: But- You know what fine-

Mary: Well you guys do that I'm outta here-

She picks Mae up.

Roy: Put the child down-

Mary: I don't want her to get corrupted by you guys-

Ed: Are yOu rEpLaciNg mE ?

Mary: I asked that question to father twice; in my previous life- and you're 10 so.. it's too late-

Mary marches out while carrying Mae in her arms.

Ed: mArY nOoOooOoo-

Liz gently smacked Ed.

Liz: That's alright bud, you're one of the older kidz now-

Ed: gasp Oh yeah- which means Mae is the only one left.

Ed:

Ed: Wait- That poor child all alone?? Oh my god- now she's gonna feel left out with no one to relate to—

Liz, to Mezza: Like mother, like son I guess-

Roy: Dude, chill—

Ed: mAE, BIG BRO IS COMIN'

Ed ran out of the kitchen without letting anyone speak.

Roy:

Liz:

Mezza:

Janie:

Liz: And then there were fou—

Janie: Hey Mezza, wanna watch cute cat compilations on my phone?

Mezza: Yeah sure.

Liz: Wait-

Both of them had already left ignoring Liz-

Roy: And then there were two.

Liz: This is sad-

Roy: Yeah- but atleast it's peaceful now.

He continues to stir the cream in the bowl, peacefully thinking.

Liz: It's too normal though-

Roy: Can you help?-

Liz: .. Yeah okay-

Roy: Put the crushed Oreos in.

Liz picked up the bag and unzipped it, letting the Oreos gracefully land in the bowl.

Roy: Nice-

Roy stirred it again and then poured it in a tray.

Liz: Can we eat it now-

Roy: No- gimme those untouched Oreos.

Liz slides the bag of Oreos to Roy's way. He began cutting them into little pieces and spreads them on the tray.

Liz: You're pretty good at this Roy-

Roy: Why are you still calling me that-

Liz: Because "Henz" reminds me of chicken-

Roy shoves the tray in the freezer and sat on the counter swinging his legs.

Liz: I think this is one of the most sane moments that I barely have-

Roy: I'm surprised you even have a sane moment-

Liz: Now you listen here—

Roy hopped off and starts searching for something.

Liz: What are you-

He pulls out trumpet.

Liz: wHaT-

Roy took her hand and placed it on an oven.

Roy: You don't want this to be normal- then let's not make it normal.

Liz: Okay-

He passed her shades and wore his own. They exchanged glances and nodded.

Liz:

Roy:

Both:

The others ran into the kitchen desperately covering their ears, suffering.

Mary: cUT IT OUT-

Ed: mAKE IT STOP-

Janie: mY EARS ARE BLEEDING-

Mezza: wHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE—

Mae: That's catchy!

Mary: BOTH OF YOU qUiT iT-

They stopped with a bow, and miraculously the queens arrived.

Anne: I hear heaven- who played that legendary tune???!

Jane: Did anything break when we were gone?-

Mary, who's on the floor: They broke our ears-

The 5 queens looked over to see Roy, Liz and Mae, casually eating ice cream.

They all looked at eachother and shrugged and went outside to get the rest of the bags.

When they left Roy and Liz high-fived eachother.

~•Le End•~