Alex's POV

I sat at my desk, my head in my hands, just thinking. Eliza was sleeping in our bedroom down the hall, unaware that her husband was just a few steps away, contemplating all of his life choices. I just made one of the biggest, no, the worst mistake of my entire life.

I could still remember the warm feeling of his lips on mine. And worst of all, I missed it. I enjoyed kissing my best friend, the man I had known for so long, and I would gladly kiss him again. But what about Eliza?

She's my smart, beautiful, caring wife who loves me.

And I love her.

Or do I?

I think I do.

What are these feelings I have towards John? I get the same feeling from just being around him, hearing his name, as I used to get from Eliza. But ever since I got home, I haven't felt that way about her once.

My face hasn't turned red, my heart hasn't skipped a beat from hearing her voice like it usually does. I loved Eliza, and I feel the same about Laurens as I used to about Eliza. Does that mean I love him?

Oh shit.

I think I love John Laurens.