Peeta's POV.
I stare at my bedroom's ceiling. It's time to accept that I'm not going to sleep anymore. I look at the clock: 5:30, might aswell do something. I sight and drag myself out of bed into the kitchen. Earlier tonight I had a nightmare, so I went to my studio to paint a little, but after that I couldn't get anymore sleep. I go to the kitchen. If it was a normal day I'd probably go baking, but since I came from the Capitol I couldn't bring myself to it. I rareou bake anymore, only when Katniss pleads a lot for me to bake her my famous cheesebuns, and she knows she is my sweet spot. I'd do anything for her, even if it would kill me. And I think I already proves that. Other than that I never bake, it just makes me uncomfortable and somehow anxious that my mom will come with her rolling pin and hit me with it, eventhough she is dead. Actually that makes me feel worst. After all she was my mother, and it is partially my fault that she is dead.
I tremble at the though, thinking like that bring sem nothing good, just bad memories and flashbacks, and I'm trying to be more stable.
Me and Katniss have been meeting each other daily since last week, when we planted the primroses. Now we meet up every morning, or dawn, because none of us can sleep due to the nightmares. Anyway, we have breakfast together and tender the flowers in all the gardens from the Victors Village. Yes, every single one of them, it is a hard work but is gratifying, it doesn't bring bad memories, helps us kill the time and is an excuse for me to see Katniss every day.
We are actually going to start a project of redecoration of Katniss's house, you know, painting the walls, changing the furniture. I'm sure it's going to be nice, plus, I get to help Katniss. Every single time I see her, I somehow light up, she only makes me so happy.
Katniss has been doing good to, She's been going hunting more often instead of moping around, she is putting on some weight, just like me, which Greasy Sae keeps telling us it's great and I haven't been so paranoid lately. I only break things on purpose from time to time and have been able to have a normal conversation with people without saying something off context or laughing nervously. That is way better than the insane state I was in the Capitol, after the rebellion, passing my days rocking back and forth in a corner.
I look through my window, Katniss just woke up. She waves her hand to me and opens her window. I also open mine.
"Meet you in my back garden in ten?" She asks loud enough for me to hear, but don't wake up the neightbours. By neighbours I mean Haymitch, who is probably passed out drunk (he only wakes up at mid-afternoon to feed his geese) and Greasy Sae.
"Okay." I answer her. Katniss smiles and goes back inside to get dressed.
I go upstairs and take a shower. I don't even bother in turning on the hot water, Spring just started and I like the water better cold. After showering I pick a random shirt and pants. Neither me nor Katniss really care about the way we look. We're not doing anything special. I get dressed fast so that I don't have to look at my scares and run downstairs. Ivtake my morning pills that Dr. Aurelius keeps telling me to have every single morning. I don't even know what they are for, not that I really care. I pick a apple and run to the other side of the street, openinv the small gate that leads to Katniss's back garden.
She is already there, sitting on a swing, humming a song. Just like everydays she looks beautiful, her hair in a single braid running down her back, her eyes closed as she listens to the wind blowing from the meadow.
I smile at myself, I love looking at her.
"Good Morning." I finally say, after admiring her for a few time.
The corners of her lips curl into a small smile her eyes till closed.
"Good morning." She says standing up. "It's really nice out here today" she says.
"It shure is." I say.
It really is nice. The shadow of the willow tree gives a nice retreat from the sun, the flowers around the small garden spread a delicated fragrance to the atmosphere around us. Than, there's Katniss, the most beautifull thing out here, her big silver eyes, her waves dark locks, the light freckels on the tip of her nose from all the work we've been doing in the outdoors. How could I ever try to hurt something so miraculous like her, think of her as a mutt? This thought makes my heart hurt, how could I? This is the prof that I am the mutt.
Katniss's smile twists into a frown.
"Peeta, are you okay?" She asks.
"What?" I look around and I notice I'm sat in the grass, curled in a ball, rocking back and forth. How long have I been dazed off. "Oh, yeah, I'm great. I'm fine. I really am." I choke out, a little to fast.
"Say it one more time and I believe you." she jokes.
I smile getting closer to her "I'm fine." I say.
"Good because we've got a big, big day ahead of us." she says mimicking what would be Effie Trinket. If it was with another person I would freak out the imitation, because it reminds me of all those people in the Capitol, (which aren't exactly twisted or guilty about everything that happened, but I still get scared). But it is Katniss so I just laugh.
By this time mimicking Effie Trinket, or her accent, is already an inside joke that me and Katniss have.
"Okay then, let's start." I say.
And with that me and Katniss go to our gardening duty, which isn't precisely a duty. We planted different types of flowers in every garden. every type we could remember but roses. Both me and Katniss hate and are afraid of roses. The primroses also only belong to Katniss's front lawn, she didn't want to plant themanywhete else besides her garden. I think it's her way of having a piece of Prim only to herself, just like Buttercup.
After a few hours and some hard work under the morning sun we are done.
Katniss lies in the grass spreading out her arms. I follow her hand do the same.
"That is being produtive." she says. A satisfied grin takes place in her expression.
"Don't you tell me."
"Oh by the way I was talking with Dr. Aurelius on the phone last night and I sugested him an idea and he totally agreed. And I wanted us to do it together." she says, sounding excited.
"I'm already curious, what would that idea be?" I ask.
"Do you remember my family plant book, that we world on together after the Victory Tour?"
I take a little time. My memories are still a little rusty, and very, very confusing. I go back to the time Katniss twisted her anckle. I remember that day carrying her upstairs and she asking me to stay with her. I remember the way she always made me feel alive, the way she makes me feel alive. I remember coming to visit her everydays and I'd paint the plants she said me to. I smile at These memories, they are so welcome, warm. I love them, almost as much as I love Katniss.
I look again at Katniss she has her eyebrows raised waiting for me to answer. I assume I probably lost myself for a while.
"Oh, yeah. Of course I remember. Those are some of the best memories I have of us." I say, without even thinking.
Katniss chuckles.
"I miss that."she says "Anyway, I suggested Dr. Aurelius starting a book like that with you, but instead of plants, it would be about all the people that we met through everything. You could paint them and I would" she makes a break, thinking about what her contribution for the book would be "I would watch you paint them." She finally says, then she blushes. Deep down in my memories I remember some times glancing at her and noticing she'd be staring at me.
I chuckle "Maybe you could sing to me." I say. Now it's my time to blush.
We stand lies in the grass looking at each other, catching the sun rays.
"I think it's a great idea." I say.
"What, doing the book or me singing to you?" She asks.
"Both."
She giggles.
"I'm starving" I say standing up. "Let's go have something to eat." I suggest.
Katniss nods and I help her up.
We go to her house, hand in hand, as usual, where we meet Greasy Sae, making food.
It is still 11:30 a.m. but both me and Ktaniss wake up very early so we usually lunch together at this hour. Greasy Sae already knows that. She prepares our meals everytime so I always eat at Katniss's.
"Good morning to you both." she greets.
"Morning Sae." Katniss answers casually.
"How are you two?" The old lady asks.
Katniss shrugs "Good, I guess."
"Me too."
"Today is going to be hot in the afternoon. You two could use a nap this afternoon. You seem tired." Sae says.
She is Obviously referring to the bags under mine and Katniss's eyes, although I have to admit I still have been sleeping better than before. My nightmares have been getting better, and Katniss told me the other day that she has been sleeping better to. But better doesn't mean good. We both still have nightmares and the darkness creeps us out.
"That sounds like a plan." Katniss says.
"would you like to join me in my afternoon nap, Peet?" She asks.
I raise one eyebrow "Peet?"
"Peet."
"Fine by me, Kat." I say jokingly.
"Kat?" She asks, raising an eyebrow just like I did a few moments ago.
"Kat."
"Why don't you two cone sit down to eat." Greasy suggests.
She has a wide smile plastered to her face. Both her and Haymitch have had this expression lately,
"I'll leave you two to eat." she says and with that she leaves the house.
"Weird." I say.
We eat in a comfortable silence, like usual and go the living room.
Katniss has turned the Tv against the wall, she knows I hate tv's, for some odd reason.
We seat on the couch.
"So, nap?" Katniss asks.
For more I'd love to sleep with Katniss in my arms I'm scared I'll hurt her. What if I have a flashback and she is asleep, she couldn't defend herself.
"I don't know..." I say.
She frowns. "Don't worry, I'm sure you won't have a flashback." As usual she knows exactly what I'm thinking, somehow, she always knows.
"You never know." I say, unvonvinced.
"Please Peeta, you have been stable for ao long, you always take your medication, and I know I could defend myself"
"I don't know."
Katniss gives me her best puppy eyes "please."
"Fine, I give up." I say throwing hands in the air.
Katniss smiles and places her head in my shoulder. I put my arm around her. The feeling I have in having her in my arms is the best thing in the world, it feels so familiar, the way her head fits just right one the crook of my neck is amazing. I scoot closer to her and fall asleep, Katniss's soft breathing lulling me.