After dinner and everything is cleaned up, Morgan drags us teens to her house to sit on the roof.

"We could've done this at any house. Like for real." Dylan says as he climbs out of the bedroom window and jumps onto the awning and then hoists himself up onto the top of the house. Morgan shrugs him off and I punch his shoulder. "Ow! I'm just saying!" He exclaims as he rubs his newly sore shoulder.

We all lay on the roof and look at the clear night sky dotted with brilliant white stars.

"This place actually has showers. I didn't think I'd see them in a million years." Kennedy breaks the silence.

"And a washer and dryer! Now I can actually change clothes more often and not smell like a dumpster." Oscar adds.

"And food. Don't forget about the food." I joke.

Austin sighs. "I never thought we'd see any of these things again."

"I never thought I'd live a normal life again." Zainab says.

A normal life. My silly fear came back and it swallowed me whole. I don't want a normal life, but yet I do. I don't want to forget how to fight or how to survive, only to get back out there and be killed.

I stand up and walk towards the edge to hop down onto the ledge. "Sorry guys. I'm gonna take a walk." Before anyone can say anything, I'm in the window and out the front door.

I begin walking down the dark sidewalk when I hear footsteps walking towards me from behind. I turn to see my boyfriend with a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his eyes searching mine.

I look down to avoid his blue eyes. "I don't want a normal life." I mumble.

He lifts my chin up with his finger. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't want one either." He smiles a bit which causes me to smile. He grabs my hand and we continue down the sidewalk.

We talk about nonsense. We talk about life. We talk about pre apocalypse. We talk about whatever comes to mind. It makes me feel better.

"Can you believe that in the CDC, Glenn got so drunk?" Carl laughs.

"Glenn? Drunk? I couldn't imagine that." I laugh along.

"Right! Dad actually let me try wine, mom-" His voice fell at the thought of his dead mother. I stop and face him.

"Tell me about her." I know from experience that talking to someone about something makes you feel better. It hurts me to know that Carl doesn't want to express his feelings, but I can't blame him because I don't express mine.

He drags me through a yard and to the lake and we sit on the bench. He sits staring at the lake while I lay my head on his lap as he plays with my hair.

"Her name was Lori. She met my dad while he was at work because her boyfriend had gotten arrested for possession of drugs and she didn't even know he had them. Of course she had to go in the station to be questioned, and dad fell in love with her. They went on a few dates and two years later they got married. A year later I was born and mom claimed that dad went overboard on child proofing the house,  Dad still refuses to this day." He chuckles. "She would insist on making breakfast on Sunday and it would always be pancakes. They were so burnt that it'd break the wall if you threw it at it, most of the time she gave up and we'd eat Cinnabons. She used to buy me the ugliest clothes from the clearance rack that dad used to take back the clothes I didn't like when she went out. She worked at a bank until I was born, then she quit and became a stay at home mom. Now that was something awful. She'd get so bored while I was still school, that she'd try new recipes and one time I came home to eggs burnt on the ceiling. When dad got shot two months before all this, she was miserable. I got taken out of baseball and Shane spent a lot of time with us. When we saw the person getting shot but still walking on the Los Angeles news, mom freaked out and rushed to the hospital. She begged dad to wake up and cried until Shane came and got her, promising her that he'd look after him since he worked there that week for security. Well, that week turned bad and I remember I was home from school that day because of the school shutting down. Shane rushed back to our house and told is to pack up and get in the car. I watched my neighbor's face get eaten off. She cried the whole way to Atlanta when Shane told her that dad's heart stopped. She ended up sleeping with Shane and felt bad about it when dad came back. Still don't know who Judith's real father is. Um, she wasn't very good at keeping track of me."

"How so?" I interrupt him for the first time.

"For instance, when the farm fell, I snuck out without her knowing and according to Glenn, she ran around screaming 'Where's Carl? Where's Carl? I told him to stay in the house.'" He mocks her voice. I chuckle as I imagine a woman running around a farm house with her hands flailing in the air screaming that. I have an active imagination. Sue me!

"What's so funny?" He looks down at me with a smile.

"Nothing." I say quickly. "Continue."

"Nothing left really to tell. She died in labor when the Governer attacked the prison." His voice turns sad. I sit up and hug him.

"I'm sorry." I whisper in his ear.

"Nothing to be sorry about. You didn't kill my mother." I let go of him. "Tell me about your mother and father." He smiles a little.

Oh dear.

Mother and father?

I go back to laying on his lap and look up at him. "I don't have a mother and a father, I have two moms. Well, l had two moms. My father was a donor and my moms weren't married, so I was born and they broke up and blah blah blah, Some more confusing stuff."

Carl shakes his head. "That's really confusing. Start with the dog tags."

I pick up the heavy metal plates hanging on a chain and run my fingers over the engravings. I tell him all about my parents. In the end, we both feel better and I'm glad.

"It's getting late." I say and get up. Carl pulls me back down. "What a-" I'm cut off by his lips against mine.

We kiss for a minute until a familiar voice yells "Eww, gross!" I pull back and see Glenn and Maggie walking along the sidewalk.

"Shut up, Glenn! Like you haven't kissed Maggie!" Carl shouts at the Korean group member.

"And more!" Glenn shouts back before Maggie hits his shoulder. I shake my head and chuckle at them.

"Aw gross." Carl moans. I grab his hand and we walk in the opposite direction towards our houses.

Carl walks me up to the front door, like a gentleman that I saw in books in movies. "Good night." He kisses me quickly before walking get down the stairs. "Love you." He smiles at me.

"Love you too. Night." I smile and open the door to the dark house. I peek out the front window curtains and see him walk back to his house.

I quietly make my way up the stairs and to my room. I change out of my clothes and into a pair of blue plaid sleeping pants and a plain white t-shirt. I totally forgot to go to the infirmary and make a note of it to go there first thing and then hop into the soft bed. For the first time in a long time I fall into a dream less sleep.