I staggered, carrying my things out of here when the security guard came to warn that the mall was about to close. The area that used to be crowded with people now had almost no one left. It probably wasn't much different from my current state of being alone.
Let it go! I'm going to be dramatic. Don't come arrest me! I pressed my lips tightly. My heart hurted so much that I wanted to cry but I forced myself to hold back until my eyes ached. Who the fuck do that bastard think he is? What the hell did he come from? He thinks he can act evil on anyone. The world doesn't revolve around you.

You bastard! Learn to think about other people's feelings, such as my feelings.

I was very angry at Phum. But more than that, I was angry at myself for being so stupid as to sit and wait for hours. I was angry at my own naiveté for believing the words of such a heartless person. Anyone who knew about this would probably laugh at me with pity. Only fool wait. Who can I blame? Huh! Er, I must be really stupid. Foolish for truly believing that Phum would come back because I believe in a promise. So I stuck to waiting.

[T/N: Phum is deducted 10 points]

After that incident happened when I was a child, if someone told me to wait, I would wait anxiously. I always expected to have to wait. Even if the wait is only a short time, if I make an appointment with friends and someone arrives late, I would be nervous and anxious. You can come late or cancel the appointment, I will never complain. But I just want you to call me a soon as posible, I will know and not have to worry about whether something bad happened. For me, waiting is not a difficult matter, it's more than enough, I just want the person I'm waiting for to be safe.

But the bastard Phum drove and didn't come back, didn't say a word. I didn't know where the hell he was going to die. Did he say that his condo is nearby? Huh, near Baghdad? The more I thought about it, the more I got angry. The more angry I got, the more upset I was. When I was upset, I wanted to throw the things in my hands into the fountain and stomp on them until they all were smashed under my feet. But if I did that, Phum would probably stomp me until I was a mess as well.

Sigh. In the end, what can a good person like me do to an evil person like Phum? He does bad things, so don't do bad things like him. Be patient until the two months were up. When the time was due, I would rush to make merit by pouring out all the water to cut off the bad karma. I didn't want to meet someone like him in the rest of my life. But this was just the first day, I was this misarable. I didn't know who will pour water for whom. Please continue to follow.

* กรวดน้ำคว่ำขัน a Thai ancient belief which is considered to be the action of bringing an end to a relationship, causing it to dissolve into a river.

[T/N: But Peem I read that they mostly do it to end with their ex]

"On Nut road, Phi." I told the taxi driver after scrambling to stuff a dozen shopping bags and myself into the car. Oh my-, he wasn't here but he was still trying to leave things behind to harass me.

"Oh, is there a sale off? You got a lot of stuff." The taxi driver invited me to talk as he started the car and smiled at me through the rear view mirror.

"They're not mine, bro, haha." Who has the wisdom to buy them? Louis, Gucci, Tom Ford. Oh! All of them cost nearly a million baht. I looked down at the brand names that... that was all piled up next to me, and I suddenly felt a chill. Did I carry around a million baht all day?

[T/N: 😑😑😑 sometimes I really want to knock on his head.]

"Oh, so they belong to your lover?" I almost choked on my own saliva. Lover? Haha, it's not a big deal at all. They were not mine, and not my lover's either.

"If it were you, I'd love her to death. Your lover gave you so many gifts. You're so blessed."

Well, Phi, let me to be the only person with a great imagination. Don't try to take my job.

"Newly couple always is like this. When I was young and handsome like you, I also was like this. When I loved someone, I would give my all. I've been deceived many times, but I was never scared. Haha."

P'Taxi told the past of being hurted by love in a cheerful voice. I only smiled dryly, but it's just a courtesy. Too lazy to deny him.

I was both tired and sleepy. Plus I met a taxi driver who was in a good mood sky blue, matching the color of the car. I even took out the inhaler and stuffed it into my nostrils. The pungent smell of the leather seats and the smell of the air freshener made the spaghetti crawl back up the original way and lodge in my throat. The image of the day Q and I sat in the taxi return from Phi Euay's pub flashed in my head like déjà vu. I had to quickly swallow the sour saliva in my throat, and at the same time tried to hypnotize myself 'Please don't! Don't throw up here. A Louis bag is not used to carried your vomit.' But the taxi driver didn't take it, kept inviting me to chat. I was dizzy. I was going to throw up. I wanted to take a nap. Phi, stop inviting me to talk or you would get it.

*In Thai culture, the color sky blue (ฟ้าใส) is a symbol of being cheerful, being happy

Finally, even though I was dazed and barely conscious, I was incredibly able to give the correct direction to my house. When the car stopped in front of the gate, I handed the money to the driver without waiting for more than ten baht in change and quickly climbed out of the car. I thought he should quit driving taxi and go for a duel with P'Nose Udom. He might have a chance to shine. Wow! What a good talker! Plus, the topics changes like in a second, which is awesome, really genius.

* Udom Taepanich, also stage name Nose, is a Thai stand-up comedian, artist and writer.

"I'm back." I said softly. It's a ritual. Who else would be here this late at night? Aunt Pui must have gone to bed at 8 p.m.

I dragged my body and walked up to my room, crawling over the railing of the stairs. My eyes were almost closed. When I reached the last step of the stairs, I almost fell backwards in shock before I opened my mouth and screamed throughout the house.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

[T/N: The day hasn't ended yet 😂]

Both I and the green-faced ghost shouted and jumped away from each other in complete fright. I almost got out of a drowsy state. The sleepiness and tiredness disappeared without trace. What kind of doomsday day was it for me today? I looked at what was in front of me before the soft yellow light of the mezzanine between my room and aunt Pui's room got brighter.

"Aunt?"

"Yes, it's me."

I looked at that person... Well, I wasn't sure if it was a person or a seaweed monster. Let's just say that what was in front of me right now was some sort of living thing that was round, with snowy white skin, and green mud covering its face and neck, leaving only blinking eyes. When speaking, it seemed like it could only move its mouth a little bit. It was wearing a bonnet that covered its mermaid green hair, and a hot pink bathrobe. And that figure pretended to be my aunt.

"Oh, really?" I still didn't believe her. I pretended to put my face closer until she glared at me and shouted at me again. Okay, That's the real one.

[T/N: He just have clay mask on his face🤣🤣🤣]

"Of course it's me. Oh Khwan, come back! Oi Peem, you made me so shocked that I almost pee my pants." Aunt Pui rubbed her chest to soothe herself. But I wanted to tell you that the person who should be called Kwan back should be me!

"Hey aunt, why did you stand in the dark? Why didn't you turn on the light? If I had been so startled that I fell down the stairs and broke my neck and died, who would have been responsible?"

"Me, of course. I am the one who will be responsible. Your life insurance, I am the one who pays." Aunt Pui stood with arms akimbo, looked at me seriously and screeched her fingers back and forth in a feminine manner. Actually, aunt Pui is a woman, but she is a transgender woman. And she is my father's younger sibling. She is, uh, my guardian. She is an academic, a university special instructor and the owner of Garden Café. And recently she had diabetes and high blood pressure . I just took her to be checked at a university hospital at the beginning of this month. The story of my family, if I have a chance, I promise that next time I will tell you because today I really can't tell it.

[T/N: "อา" is commonly used for the father's younger siblings, including both males "อา(ผู้)ชาย" (uncle) and females "อา(ผู้)หญิง" (aunt). At first (chapter 3) I had translated it to "uncle", but I fixed it. Hehe. But I'm not completely wrong, am I?]

"Oh my gosh, I forget that it's not good to move the muscle on the face too much. My face will get wrinkled soon. Boohoo!!!"
😂😂😂
Aunt, maybe it's too late! Aunt Pui spoke without moving her mouth and laughed by stretching her lips just a bit. That made my face tense along with her.

I was startled when my aunt looked at me. She looked like a ghost doll in a horror movie. Oh Khwan, come back!

"Don't you act like you're afraid of me, okay? And that's a lot of stuff. Day by day, you're becoming more and more crazy. And hoarding junk. Studying art or collecting things to scrap. Huh? What a mess! Carry them all around and your shoulder won't be able to sleep tonight. Don't eat on time. Just drink alcohol. Rarely return home. What's wrong with you? "

I didn't know what the starting point of the complaint was, but I can always put everything together. So what do you think about my aunt? Talented? My aunt is as talented as the taxi driver, right? All of a sudden aunt Pui rushed over and grabbed a bag in my hands to look at it while I was off guard.

"Gucci! Peem! Peem bought Gucci? Why did you buy Gucci? Peem already knows that I am a big fan of Chanel. But my nephew bought a Gucci. Oh, I'm about to faint. How can you repay the person who raised you by betraying her to use another brand's bag?" Aunt Pui's mouth trembled, her hands trembled, and she looked at me with reproachful eyes.

Uhmmm it's...

"Oh, calm down, auntie, this isn't mine, uh..."

"Lover's?" She immediately made an excited expression.

"No! I don't have a lover! No! Well, my friend entrusted them to me."

"Really? I smell something fishy. A friend? Ok, a friend. I won't bother you. I don't want to interfere in personal matters." Aunt Pui winked slyly. So I let him think like that, not being able to explain. "But kids these days are really good at spending money, how much is this?" She immediately became happy when she touched the bag, even though it wasn't her own. The love that my aunt has for brand name bags must be true love.

"His family is rich." I said, and aunt Pui stopped for a moment before asking me, "Nong Peem, do you want it? If you want it, just tell me. I'll buy it for your birthday. We can go choose together or ask my friend who is living in France send it to us. And if you like any particular model, just tell me. My nephew will not have to be frustrated."

"Ow, who's frustrated? What are you talking about? Haha." I laughed out loud. "Who would be frustrated because they don't use a brand name bag? Except ..." I teased and look at my aunt in order to let her know whom I was referring to. Then I quickly turned to yank her hand and pulled out the bag that she was grabbing before saying good night. "Peem goes to bed first. I'm very tired today. Goodnight, auntie."

"Goodnight, my dear nephew. Please take a shower. I forbit you sleep withour bathing. It's dirty. Oh, and don't forget to apply the cream that I bought for you."

"Got it." Just give a promise first. Whether I would do it or not was another matter.

Haizzzzz

As soon as the bedroom door closed, I carelessly dropped all the expensive bags onto the floor and threw myself down to lie sprawled on the bed, exhausted. The bed spring vibrates slightly under the weight. I fumble around for the air conditioner remote that should be on the bed. I let out a tired sigh. The light from outside keeps the room from being too dark. I lay with my hand on my forehead and stared at the ceiling through the dim light. The ceiling was empty. My head was also empty. I couldn't follow my own thoughts. I couldn't keep track of what I was thinking. It's like my brain was slowly compiling what happened today.

In the morning I submitted a sketch to Professor Na. I was left waiting. I had fun chatting with my friends. I went to class in the afternoon. I ran out of the classroom without asking the professor's permission. I was tricked into waiting. I was tricked into buying water by Phum. I went out with him. He bought me food and used my labor all day. Then I was left waiting for hours. Then I met the taxi driver. The smell of the car made me feel sick. How did Phum grow up to have such a bad personality? I returned home and lied to aunt Pui. Phum, you evil bastard. I have a work due the day after tomorrow but I haven't finished it yet. I was left waiting. No matter how many hundreds of thousands of things I thought about, in the end, my brain kept coming back to that. I was left waiting. The cool air from the air conditioner and the tireness I had experienced all day made my body was ready to rest. And before I go to sleep, I have something I want to confess, which is...tonight, I will... will not take a shower. I'm tired. Let's go to sleep. Good night.

Rrrrrrr

[T/N: It's a realy long day.]

ตาเถรตา​ถั่ว!!! Who the fuck is calling at this time? I, who was half asleep, startled and rubbed my left chest in shock.

*ตาเถรตาถั่ว is typically used as an exclamation to express the idea of being clumsy, unable to see, or find something even though it's right in front or very obvious.

I searched for my phone in an irritated mood, then I grabbed the air conditioner remote instead. I was tired. I wanted to sleep.

"Hello, Cry*." I politely answered the phone without looking at who was calling. Even though my heart really wanted to say 'D*ckhead! Why the fuck do you have to call me so late at night? Everyone is sleeping at this hour.'

*suppose to be "krap".
[T/N: 😅]

[It's me]

"Who is "me"? I don't have any friends named "me"."

[Don't fuck up with me, asshole, it's me, Q]

Oh, it's Q. If so, what I accidentally cursed in my heart just now, I'd like to withdraw. I shifted and sat against the head board. Try to force my eyes open and shake my head to chase away the drowsiness that was invading me. But it didn't help. I kept my mouth opening and yawning until my jaws stretched as wide as they could, ready to yawn. Be ready to lay down at any moment.

"Huh, what's the matter? I'm so sleepy. I'm going to die."

[Where did you go?]

I frowned as soon as I heard the question and asked him back because I didn't understand his question.

" Where did I go? What the fuck is the matter with you?"

[Oh, all of a sudden, you ran out of the class, you buffalo. I was shocked. I thought something was going on, and I called but you didn't answer.]

"Uhmmmmmmmmmm"

That long uhm didn't mean anything. I was delaying thinking of a lie. I had forgotten that I had left a huge mystery for my friends when I stormed out of the classroom, and now it was time for me to face the dilemma.

"It's nothing. That is...uh... aunt Pui's friend just returned from Papua New Guinea." Oh-shit

If Q isn't confused, I'll be very confused. I'm so stupid I went out to sea so far* because I couldn't think of anything. The more late and sleepy liked this, the lower my RAM was. Every time I processed something, it's so slow that I began to wonder if I was on the phone with Q. Is it reality or a dream? If I'm dreaming, please wake me up. I don't want to see him in my dreams.

*= exaggerate
[T/N: That's your best friend 😂]

[Papua New Guinea? So?]

Believe it or not, I could imagine Q's face expression just by listening to the tone of his voice. I knew what kind of expression he was making because he was so careless, indicating that there was no trust in his tone at all. It's like hearing him say 'Aunt Pui's friend is here. So what the fuck does that have to do with you?' when he just said the word 'so'.

"So...so that's it. I had to go pick him up at the airport."

Like this, I thought I would probably survive. I ran into a dead end. Damn it. Lately, did I lie to my friends, lie to the people around me too often? I really didn't like this guilty feeling, but I had no choice. To keep the shameful secret I have to keep lying.

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you. I was a blur in the morning. And when I remembered, I was in a hurry. I'm afraid that Pui's friend will wait a long time. Then I was busy when I got home, so I didn't pick up the phone. What happened then? What did Professor say?" When I saw Q's silence, I hurriedly changed my conversation to something else. The opportunity is in your hands.

[Professor was shocked. But he didn't say anything. I apologized him on behalf of you. But I don't think he'll remember. I saw him talk to the board. But next time, don't do something like this again. Heck, I was so shocked. I thought your relative has died.]

[T/N: He talked to the board? Maybe your professor used to run out of class like this when he was a student]

"Your relative must be the one has just died." I chuckled deep in my throat. "But thank you, and I'm sorry for making you worried."

[Who worried about you, you're have an unreaonably high sense of self-importance.]

"hard-mouthed"

*ปาก​แข็ง literally means hard-mouthed, figuratively means say something versus what they mean.

[My mouth isn't hard but something else...]

"Is it hard?"

[Ugh softer than bean sprouts, Doctor! What I should do this time, Doctor? Are you satisfied yet?] Q asked sarcastically. I laughed as I slid down onto the bed.

[T/N: Anyone don't get their dirty joke?]

"I'm satisfied, you bastard. So can you hang up yet? There were a long line today. The cafe is closed. I'm sleepy."

[Ah, okay, but don't forget to call Tan or send him a message to let him know that you're not dead yet. I went to eat Suki with him in the evening. So I told him that you ran crazy out of the classroom. He was worried.]

Wow, my friend, dammit... so touching. I felt as if my heart was blowing up, like a balloon being blown up with a bicycle pump.

[T/N: me with a tiny needle in my hand 😏]

"Do you guys love me that much?"

[No, I just want to be nosy. Actually just trying to looking for a food sponsor.]

"Fuck you. That's all. I'm going to sleep."

I hung up the call even though Q was laughing with delight. My heart sank in an instant, faster than a balloon being pierced by thorn. Damn it. Said that to make me feel touched. Tried to trick me treat you food. I let out a laugh in my throat, closing my eyes in the darkness. Even on the days when my life was really crappy, my friends still made me laugh. It must have been another night when I slept and had a good dream. I dreamed that I saw a crocodile slam its tail into Phum's mouth several times. It was a very good dream. Hehe, it was very satisfying. And for the first time in my life, I wanted to make my dreams come true.

...

..

.