Proofreader: SMV2454

Lately, I've been paranoid about being invited to go out. For several days now, I've been wary of whether that bastard Phum will take me somewhere. It's not that I'm afraid to go, but what I'm scared of is wearing that shirt, that wretched shirt, while going out with him. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

That day when he gave me (what a high-class word!) that hideous shirt, I almost ran headfirst into the wall to forget the message on the shirt. Maybe it was just a dream. But no, it was real 😭. Those two white shirts still hang prominently in the closet, making me tear up every time I see them. I'm so sad.

"Shorty, are you done? I'll turn off the light."

"Yeah." I replied to Phum, who was about to turn off the light and go to bed. I put down the lecture notes I borrowed from Fai next to the bed and pulled up the big, soft, milk-scented comforter to my chest.

As soon as the bright light was turned off, the soft green glow from the hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars and the fairy lights I see every night before bed replaced it, along with Phum who slipped under the same blanket.

"What's wrong? Are you mad about the shirt?" he asked, pulling me into a hug like always.

I'm not mad, but I'm embarrassed and wondering what he was thinking. Geez.

"No." I glanced at Phum, who was hugging me too tightly. He switched from hugging to snuggling into my chest. This handsome guy... Just thinking about the word "handsome" makes the image of those shirts flash before my eyes.

I tried to turn over to get comfortable, but Phum tried to follow me and kept snuggling into my neck, making a whining sound, not letting me move away. Hey, this position is uncomfortable. Let go.

"Phum, let go. I can't sleep like this; it's uncomfortable." I said, lying on my back and unable to sleep because I'm used to sleeping on my side.

Phum let me lie on my left side facing him as I requested, then quickly snuggled back into my chest, hugging me even tighter. We always fall asleep in each other's arms, but once we're asleep, it's freestyle. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and we're miles apart.

"Phum, seriously, would you dare wear that shirt?" We were silent for a while before I asked, stroking his soft hair.

"Why wouldn't I? The shirts are cool." Phum said, and I felt like he was sniffing my neck.

"If we wear it out, people will know what we are."

"So, what are we?"

"We're a couple."

"Oh... we're a couple? Heh heh."

"Phum, don't tease me." Please be serious with me. Sure, your shirt is fine, but mine is a disaster, a total disaster. Oh, gosh.

"Why are you overthinking, Peem? Whether people know or not, so what?"

"I don't care about others, but... I'm afraid it will reach your parents' ears."

Phum's family is well-known in the society, and of course, Phum is also known by many. What will happen if someone who knows Phum tells his father that they saw his youngest son wearing a couple shirt and walking hand in hand with another man? I'm so frightened by just imagining the scenario that will happen after that.

Phum moved up to a higher level than me, pulling me up to hug me close. His warm, soft lips pressed against my forehead for a long time, a gentle touch that made me feel secure.

"I don't know what my parents will say, but if that day comes, we'll face it together."

"Uhm."

Tonight, like every night, Phum and I lay on the big bed under the soft blanket together. We fell asleep in each other's warm embrace, with hundreds of stars sending us to sleep and wishing us sweet dreams.
No matter what we face in the future, as long as we're together like this, it's enough.

Right, Phum? ^^
...
..
.

I finished my exams! I want to shout it out loud, a million times louder, but I'm afraid the neighbors might throw bottles at my head. Haha, I finished my exams. "Finally, the suffering is over. Walking the path we hoped for."* Haha, just kidding.
[*From song Horizon (ขอบฟ้า) by Bodyslam.]

The sleepless nights are over, the endless reading until my eyes hurt, sneaking in some comic reading without Phum catching me, and giving up games. Today, I'm free!

So, we ended up lounging at Tan's house (or is it Fang's? You'd have to ask Tan about this. The money is Tan's but who actually owns the deed, haha).

"Hey Peem, why are you shouting so much? It's annoying," the house owner threw a book at me, almost hitting my head. Fang, what if it hit me and my head split open?

"Hey guys, exams are over. Let's go on a trip next week." Q suggested.

"Where to? Peem, aren't you going back to Chiang Mai for the break?" Khun Chai Beer paused his game to ask about my plans, unlike Phum who kept playing. Who's my boyfriend here?

"It's just a month break, so I won't go back. My parents are coming to visit grandma. They've canceled on me many times."

"Alright, let's vote on where to go," Beer suggested.

Do all the law students like democracy like Beer? They always vote for everything. One man, one vote, but there's always one man above the vote, haha.

"Iran." Mick voted first. Do you have relatives in Iran, Mick?

"Going to see your dad in Iran? Or are you going to help him in the war?" Q dismissed the idea.

"How about Chiang Mai?" Chan suggested.

"Got a thing for northern girls, huh? No, I've been there too often, I'm bored." Q saw through him, haha.

"Bored of Chiang Mai or the girls? Got the back and forgot the front?*" Beer saved Chan, haha. Q couldn't respond. He's so good at teasing others. How was it when Khun Chai softly cut him down? Haha

[*Since smv2454 and I understood this sentence immediately, we assumed you would also understand it 😳😏.]

"Come on, you guys should try it. You'll love it." Tan quickly sent help to Q as well.

"Can I try with KhaoFang?" Chan reached for Fang's hair.

"You pervert, don't touch my wife!"

"Sure, Chan, set the time and place. I'm free," Fang smirked at Chan.

"Enough, tonight I'll give you a big set, free delivery to your bed." Then he got hit by Fang's holy palm.

"Alright, enough playing. Where are we going?"

"Peem, where do you want to go?" Phum finally paid attention to me. I was so touched I almost cried, I thought he only cared about racing games.

"Anywhere, up to you guys. What about you?"

"Anywhere, up to you."

"Who!!!!!!!"

"Hewwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The gang teased us again. They've been teasing us for a year. Aren't you tired of this?

"Khaofang, where do you want to go? I will take you anywhere." Tan teased in a high-pitched voice.

"Anywhere with scumbag like you, darling."

God dammit! Fang and Tan were mocking us. They were mocking me. Fang leaned on Tan's chest, smirking and winking at us. I... I ... I hate you both!

"P'Phum, sugar is expensive these days, tone down the sweetness. Pity us single folks."

Oh, Matt, you're single? Yeah right. Ptui, you can barely trick me. Matt has been studying and becoming a disciple of Chan for a while now. Since his heartbreak with the senior accounting girl, Chan's been teaching him the ways. I wonder if Chan has led him to the top of Shaolin. But I feel like Matt's become full of wiles.

"Great job, young disciple. Lonely single guys like us, no one understands." Chan said.

"Spit." Phum.
"Spit." me.
"Spit, spit..." Fang.

Hahaha, Chan barely dodged the spit. The lonely single guys laughed, holding hands.

"Alright, I think the best way..." Tan started.

"Is the expressway." Pan interrupted. What the hell is that?

"Huh?????" We all turned to Pan. The best way is the expressway??? So the bad way is a dirt road? Do I have to translate your jokes?

"Someone take Pan away." Hahaha.

Pan walked off to get more food.

"We've never gone to the beach as a group of ten. I think the beach is good. Phuket, the whole group. What do you think?" Chan suggested.

This guy keeps beating around the bush about the same thing. Not sure if you're obsessed or if it's a hobby, my friend.

"Yeah, let's go to the beach. We haven't been to the beach together in a long time. But is Phuket a good idea? We can stay for free in Krabi!" Q untied Toey's arm that was wrapped around his neck and face, and quickly got up to agree with Chan.

"Hmm, your dad has a resort in Krabi, right? Okay, let's go to Krabi then." Fang suggested, which was basically a command. So, it's settled.

We're going to Krabi this holiday, yay!
...
..
.

After deciding on the travel destination, Pan started holding a court in the middle of the group. The topic he was rambling about was Mick's past declaration that he wanted to be gay. Remember that?

At first, I thought he was joking. He was probably just rambling on like when he wanted to be a hip-hop or B-boy (which he tried for three and a half days before giving up, saying it wasn't for him). I don't know how many days he will be able to be gay, but what I do know is that Pan has already offered to help Mick.

How to be Gay

"I think your method is too difficult, Pan. I'll ask Tan and the others instead." Mick started to lose heart after listening to Pan's explanation for a while. Tan was startled to be dragged into the conversation, haha.

"Why would you ask those newbies? They  don't even know if they're gay or not. You should trust me, Mick. Look at Q and Toey, they're doing well because of me." Pan said, patting his chest.

Everyone, including Q and Tan, laughed. Q tried to kick Pan in the face, but couldn't reach because Toey was lying on top of him.

"It was because of Hia Pan that P'Q cried. Toey remembers. There, there, P'Q, don't cry." Toey said, pulling Q's head to his shoulder. But his P'Q didn't cooperate and even tried to kick him. How violent are you?

[T/n: 🤣🤣🤣 I can't]

Look at Tan and Fang. They're tangled up like snakes. They're probably finding ticks and lice in each other's hair to eat.

"What's wrong with you, Toey? Are you out of meds? Should I take you to Wat Phra Bat Nam Phu?" Uh, is this the wrong place, Q? Toey giggled and climbed back on top of Q. Phum and Beer continued playing their game, leaving me to listen to Pan's speech alone.

[*Wat Phra Bat Nam Phu, a serene Buddhist temple on the mountain, is renowned for its compassionate mission to care for people living with HIV/AIDS. The temple also features beautiful spots for visitors to explore and is home to a lively group of monkeys.
T/n: I think Q means to return him back to the monkey group. What do you say, guys? 🤣🤣🤣]

"Alright, Mick, don't waste your time with them. I don't want to talk to those with balls (an-tá)."

"Relationship (pan-tá)!" Hahaha, damn, saying the wrong thing like that makes me feel scared.

But Pan didn't care and continued teaching Mick, "The first rule of being a gay, Mick, is that you have to choose a side. What do you want to be? Top or bottom?" Pan said, smirking.

"What do you mean by top or bottom?" Mick asked, confused.

Huh? Are you really dumb or are you playing dumb, Mick?

"Oh, you don't know what top or bottom is? And you want to be a gay? You don't even know the basics. It's simple, do you want to be like Tan or Fang?" Pan said, laughing. Fang might get up and tear  you apart, Pan. Mick stared at Tan.

"Fuck you. Why are you staring at me?" Tan asked.

"What's the difference between Tan and Fang?" I thought Mick was clearly trying to be annoying, because his face was so fake.

"If you choose to be like Tan, you'll be tired but not in pain. If you choose to be like Fang, you'll be in pain but not tired. Choose one." Pan explained.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Oh, then I'll be like Tan," Mick decided.

"Okay, you'll be the top," Pan said.

Fang was furious and almost punched Pan in the mouth. Hahaha. Luckily, Chan grabbed his collar in time (because Tan was laughing on the floor). Hahaha. Q gave Pan a thumbs-up, like he was pressing a 'like' button. Pan, you're such a troll.

"The next rule of being a gay is that you have to be handsome. I've observed that 80% of gay people are handsome. Here are some examples." Pan said, gesturing to us. "Mick, you're just a bit below my level (he was praising himself), so you're considered handsome."

"If anyone were as handsome as you, they must be a monitor lizard (dtà-gùuat), oiii, they'd participate (bprà-gùuat) in the 50 CLEO Most Eligible Bachelors contest ." Beer joked.

"Don't speak the truth, Beer. Yesterday, I went to the mall with Pluem, and people were staring at us, probably thinking we were Korean stars." Pan said.
Korean again, huh? Don't you think they might have been looking at something strange, Pan? Haha.

"Why didn't you invite me, Pan? We could have gone as a duo, Mick and Pan Ki Bum. So Cool." Mick said.

"Pan Ki Bum, haha, that's so cool, Mick. I'll change my Facebook name. You guys better lice it." Pan said.

"What does 'lice it' mean, P'Pan?" Matt, the half-foreigner, was confused by Pan's accent.

"It's whatever I say it is. Come on, Mick, let's continue. The third rule," Pan said. "Like you read before, you have to always extend your pinky finger. Got it?" Mick tried to extend his pinky finger awkwardly.

"It's hard. Why do people want to be gay?" Mick asked.

"Being gay isn't like becoming a government official- if you want to be one, you can take the exam to be one. It's about your mind, hormones, and environment, and many things combined. Why do you want to be gay? I'm asking you seriously." Chan asked, pushing Mick's head.

"I want to follow the trend. Being gay or bi is popular now." Mick said.

I admire your reason, Mick.

"If you want to be gay, Mick, the book says you should change your name." Pan continued explaining without listening to anyone. "According to my survey, the name 'Bank' is very common among gay people, followed by 'Golf', 'Nut' and 'Ta'. Most importantly, whatever you are, you should be a good person. Good gays are cute."

"How do you know what a good gay person is like, Pan?" Q asked.

"Good question, Q. Use your brain. Why do you have Google? Let Brother Google help you. There are many gay websites. Go study them." Pan said, proudly pointing to his temple.

"Pan, are you gay? You know so much it's scary."

"Hia Pan might have learned P'Angun (means "grape"), Hia Phum."

Hmm? Grape? Who is Grape? Tell us, Matt. Pan turned to stare at Matt. Pan now looked very pale. Uh oh, then...

"Which Grape? Are you hiding something, Pan? Huh? Say it or I'll tear your mouth." Tan said, locking Pan in a headlock. Here we go, big news, the hottest news of the year. Pan, you're dead for hiding this from us.

"No, Matt, shut up!" Pan yelled.

"Tell us everything you know, Matt." Tan was scary, Fang looked even scarier now. Pan, you're not getting out of this easily. Better spill the beans.

[T/n: Nong Matt always is the one who spills the beans. He's everywhere, knows everything.]

"Hehe, I don't know much, P'Fang." Matt said.
"Ai Matt!!!" Pan yelled.

"Phum, Beer, hold Pan down." They obediently obeyed their older brother's order immediately . They jumped on and grabbed Pan.

"Last Wednesday, I saw Phi Pan's car parked at the faculty. I was about to say hi, but then I saw P' Angun get out of the car..."

"Mmmph, Ai Mae Matt..." Pan struggled. He was very strong. Even though he was being held down, he still tried to fight back.

"Wait, Matt... Is Angun a guy or a girl?" Beer asked.

"Neither, P'Angun is gay." Matt said.

"Yes!!!" We all turned to stare at Pan, who was trying to escape from Phum and Beer. Uh huh, I have to admit that right now I'm both shocked and laughing. When did this happen? And how did he keep it from us for so long? What a jerk!

"No wonder P'Pan knows so much about being gay. He has a good teacher." Toey teased, poking Pan's nose with a brush. This kid was always mischievous.

"Why didn't you invite me, Pan?" Mick asked, feeling left out. Is this the right time to be upset, Mick?

"Mmmph, mmmph." Pan still tried to wriggle.

"Keep going, Matt." I urged.

"Well, P'Angun is a fourth-year student. He doesn't look very gay, just like a normal guy. But he's super cute, the cutest guy I've ever seen. Even my straight friends like him. He's nice, speaks politely, and his smile is heart-melting. He's even smaller than P'Peem." Matt explained.

Hey, don't compare him to me. I'm not cute, I'm handsome. But from what Matt described, if Pan and P'Angun really have something going on, I have to say that guy made a big mistake. He really made a mistake by grabbing Pan. Damn, Pan even got a cute guy. You must have cast a spell on him, right?

"Hehe, you like Angun, huh?" Beer teased. We were all shocked and amused.

"Let me go! I'm going to kill Matt! Fuck you Matt. You're dead!" Pan yelled, chasing Matt around the house.

We'll have to interrogate you more, Pan. Hehe.
...
..
.

And finally, the day I dreaded arrived. The day I had to wear that embarrassing shirt in public because the supplies in the house were running low. So, the handsome guy suggested we go out to buy some stuff. But why, oh why, did I have to wear this shirt?

ToT

Why?

My current state? Have you ever seen someone walking around with their arms crossed, picking things up while trying to hide? When people walk by, I quickly turn to the side or back. Is there anything more pathetic than this? 😭

"Peem, if you're that uncomfortable, just change your shirt." Here it is. "Shorty's husband" was starting to sulk, and now, what should "Handsome's wife" do?

[T/n: I was drinking milk while reading this. Guess what happened?]

"It's not that, I'm just not used to it." I said, looking up at Phum, whose face was as hard and cold as granite. Look pitiful, Peem, and he'll stop sulking.

"When will you get used to it, Peem? When? I can already tell you care more about what others think than my feelings."

And what about my feelings? Does anyone care? Damn it!

"Other couples wear matching shirts to announce to the world they're a couple. I also want others to know what our relationship is. But if you're embarrassed to wear it, I'm sorry."

Before I could say anything, Phum pushed the cart out of the snack aisle. I looked down at my shirt. Honestly, I'm not that embarrassed. I'm actually proud that Phum made this shirt (though it could have been better if it was different words). What he said about wanting others to know our relationship shows how much he values me.

I don't know if Phum is genuinely upset or just being sarcastic, but he should know that his feelings are more important to me than anything.

But I'm... shy. Do you understand? Is there anyone who understands me? If you've ever had a handsome boyfriend, you'd understand. People already look at him, and now we're wearing matching shirts. My face isn't made of reinforced concrete like Fang's.

[T/n: I was about to say I understand him, then he said "If you've ever had a handsome boyfriend". F*ck you Peem 🖕]

"Phum, wait up." I called, running to him as he pretended to choose chocolates. He glanced at me and then went back to what he was doing. "Don't sulk. I actually like this shirt. How did you come up with this? Only a real jerk could think of this, right? Haha." His sharp eyes turned to me, looking serious.
"Sorry, let's make up na. I won't hide it anymore. I'll wear it proudly every day."

"..." Silence.

"Na, babe. I'll buy you a new teddy bear collection na. Let's make up na."

[T/n: 😲🤭🙏]

"Huh... heh heh... haha, you're so cute, Peem. Do you know that?"

I stood there, stunned, trying to gather my thoughts. He tricked me. I punched him in the stomach out of frustration. He tricked me, making me coax him.

"Ouch, Shorty, that hurts. Haha, if I knew sulking would make you wear it willingly, I would have done it long ago."

"You motherfucker! How do you see that I'm willing? I will wear it only for today. After this ,I won't wear it any more." Now it's my turn to sulk. Go ahead, Peem can sulk too.

"Sulk all you want. I won't coax you, but I'll devour you right here."

"Hey!" I backed away quickly as Phum reached for me.

"Haha, oh, you're not sulking anymore?" He let go of the cart, walked over, and cupped my cheeks. We looked into each other's eyes dangerously close before Phum said...

"Phum is sorry. Please stop sulking, my dear."
[smv2454: OoO]

Knockout! I lost completely without a scratch, but my face was red. Does Antacil (stomach upset medicine) cover this? I quickly walked away from the handsome guy, avoiding his cheesy gaze and evil laughter.

Phum, you dog. I'm so embarrassed.
>////////////////////////////////<

We continued shopping, teasing and hitting each other, while people watched. It was fun. He even bumped the cart into my leg. Did it hurt? Yes, it did.
And many times, when no one was around, he would sneak a kiss on my cheek. In the middle of the mall! It was like I was struck by lightning, but he didn't care. He kept trying to steal kisses from my cheek. It felt like a newlywed couple shopping for their new home.
>////<

"Phum, stop it. People are watching." I said, feeling embarrassed and ticklish from his stubble.

"Why be embarrassed? It's a personal right, and I'm just kissing you. It's not inappropriate. Besides, I checked, and no one saw."

See? Do you see his reasoning? I had to accept my fate while he kept smiling widely. Hmph.

"Okay, okay. Do you need anything else? Are we out of bear milk? Should we get some?"

"Yes, yes, get a lot," Phum said, pushing the cart ahead of me. But he didn't push it normally; he stepped on it and let it glide.

"Huh?" I was confused when Phum loaded liters of fruit juice into the cart.

"What's confusing? Haven't you seen a health-conscious person before?"

I wanted to laugh. Health-conscious? What about all those white and green cans packed in the fridge?

"If you buy it and don't drink it, you'll get your ass kicked, Phum."

"Are you threatening me, Shorty?" He said in a stern voice but smiled at me while loading apple juice, kiwi juice, carrot juice, pomegranate juice, and even jujube juice (though that might be unrelated).

"Peem, let's cook dinner together tonight," Phum suggested, but I quickly shook my head.

No way. My cooking skills haven't improved at all 😭. Unlike Phum, who can cook a bit. He said that since I can't cook, he'll do it for me. The handsome guy has his cute side too. For me, whatever Phum does is always good ^__^.

After we finished shopping at Big C, haha, we carried the stuff to the car. On the way back, Phum was chilling like a boss, sipping on Bear Brand milk with honey flavor. Meanwhile, I was his chauffeur. Not only did he get me, but he also made me work.

Damnnnnnn

And this guy couldn't sit still, poking my cheek and pulling my nose, resting his head on my shoulder, stroking my thigh. Why are you so naughty?

"Hey, Handsome guy's wife, why are you so grumpy? Did you eat a wasp nest? Hehe."

"I'll eat your head instead. Can you sit still? Annoying."

"Short dog, how dare you be annoyed with me? Remember your place."

I glared at him. Damn, he talks like I'm beneath him. But Phum just kept laughing, biting the straw of his milk and winking at me.

"Here... drink." He handed me the milk carton. I looked at it and hesitated for a moment, then took a sip so he wouldn't think I was ignoring him.

"You kissed me indirectly. Hehe." The handsome guy smiled at me with sparkling eyes. Damn, how did he twist my innocent gesture?

"Huh, if I wanted to kiss, I'd do it directly, no beating around the bush. That's not manly."

"Don't be loose-tongued, Peem. Otherwise, you'll get fucked in the car without a chance to react."

Ptui, you even warn me before you fuck me, huh? Hehe.

"Hey Phum, stop it. Take your hand away." He put his hand on my thigh and started to move it higher.

"Let's try it in the car, Peem. Hehe."

"Phum, shut up and sit still. I'm trying to concentrate on driving."

Damn, we'll both end up dead. He laughed and sat properly as I told him, but still grabbed my left hand. I want to say that even though my boyfriend is a race car driver, it doesn't mean I can drive with one hand. I'm not very stable.

"Your hands are so small, Peem."

Phum played with my hand, massaging and turning it, then kissed it. Damn, I blushed so hard I almost drove the Mercedes into the median. Barely missed the streetlight.

[T/n: My heart beat so fast. Where's Dr.Chan?]

"Well... I'm small, so my hands aren't going to be big like palm leaves, right?"

"Your hands are this small, so your fists are this small too." I smiled at Phum, and we smiled at each other. Phum held my hand in both of his. "Then your heart must be this small too. I'll protect and take care of your heart." I felt my face getting hot. Phum, you...you idiot, I'm touched.

"You already do." Should I pull over and do it with Phum right now? Why is he being so cute?

"I'll do even better. I promise."

End of Chapter 58 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

T/n: This is no good. I have a heart condition and diabetes after reading this chapter. Phum can be smooth as butter. Oh my heart!

smv2454: I've just been this the whole last segment >////////////////////<