Proofreader: SMV2454

I never knew that behind that cheerful, smiling face that laughs and jokes all day, there were so many hidden stories and feelings, and the pain of an unrequited love.

I listened to Toey's story with mixed feelings. It was sad, touching, and impressive. It might be painful with the hopeless waiting, but it was full of good feelings. When Toey was telling the story, he probably didn't realize he was smiling, a smile filled with indescribable happiness.

When Toey finished telling the story, we were all silent. There was only the sound of the air conditioner humming and Pan's sobbing and sniffing.

[T/N: 🤧 Pan, tissue?]

"What's wrong, Pan? Are you that touched?" Tan, who was stroking Toey's head, asked Pan.

"No, damn Toey stepped on my hand."

[T/N: 😳]

"You idiot! Hahaha."

We, who were feeling touched, burst out laughing. Toey quickly lifted his foot off Pan's hand. Toey was sitting on the sofa, while Pan was sitting cross-legged at Toey's feet. We didn't know when Toey accidentally stepped on Pan's hand. Toey laughed and apologized to Pan. Toey smiled through his tears. His smile was still as bright as ever, and his eyes still had that mischievous sparkle. But I felt different. I felt sorry for him and wanted to help, but I didn't know how.

"You're amazing, Toey. How did you endure it?"

"Yeah, if it were me, I would have told him on the day we met at the camp." The alumni from the same school as Toey started to make a fuss. Mick was frowning, Beer and Phum were still quiet, while Fang said, "No wonder when I called you over, you didn't come and just hid behind Phum." He complained.

"I didn't know what to do, Hia. Suddenly, P'Q appeared at the school."

"Yeah, I just noticed that you call us 'Hia' but you call Q 'Phi'."

Oh right, I just realized that too. You're smart, Beer. Toey has Chinese heritage. Actually, most of us sitting here do, but Toey's family is the most traditional, calling their elders Ama, Agong, Ajek, and Ahia. It's not strange that Toey calls us 'Hia' but I just realized now that he calls Q 'Phi' Q.

"Because P'Q is my special person. Toey wants to make him more special than others, even if it's just a small thing."

I felt a lump in my throat again. It's a small thing that Toey does for the person he loves, even if that person doesn't know it.

[T/n: 🤧Does anyone need tissue?]

"Toey, you can do all this for love?"

"I can't really explain it, Hia Chan. I don't feel like I'm doing much. I just want to do it, so I do."

"Hic, sob." Here it comes again. Pan was sobbing, but there wasn't a single tear. How can he sob without tears? Phum, annoyed, threw a pillow at Pan's head.

[T/N: Pan, do you want a slice of onion?]

"Ouch, Phum, why did you hit me?"

"What's wrong now? Did Toey step on your front leg again?"

"No, my leg is numb. Mick, help me up."

We shook our heads and laughed. We wanted to stress about Toey, but we couldn't for more than two minutes because of Pan's foolishness.

"Which leg?"

"Dammit, Peem, don't, don't, argh, it hurts." Haha, I got up and squeezed both his legs. Pan screamed before pushing Tan aside and sitting next to Toey.

"Toey"

"Yes, Hia."

"Go ahead and attack." Look, look at the advice from someone who calls himself Cupid. Toey smiled and shook his head.

"When I was waiting, not knowing anything, not seeing his face, not knowing where P'Q was, it was much more torturous. This is nothing."

"Don't you really think of telling Q? He probably loves you too." Now I'm starting to be sure who the first and only love Q ever mentioned was.

"My love is wonderful. Fools like you guys wouldn't understand."

[T/n: ☹️]

Q's half-joking, half-serious words on the last day. Yes, love is wonderful. It drives someone to do so much for someone they love.

"Yes, I think Q loves you too, Toey."

"Yeah, before the end of Mathayom 6, he looked sad and absent-minded, you guys all saw it, right?" We nodded in agreement with Pan.

"No wonder he liked to carry post-it notes." Chen started to think.

"I remember now. Do you guys remember? Q liked to order milkshakes every day, but there was a time when he bought them but didn't drink. He was also gloomy, right, Peem?"

Why are you asking me? But it's true, as Pan said, before we finished M.6, Q was gloomy. During that time, he didn't date anyone, even though he never lacked girls.

Q would go to draw every evening after school. We knew about it. We also knew P'Oh's shop. We had been there with Q a few times, but not often. He went every day. He was such an artist. But what we didn't know was that he created many good memories there.

"If he loved me, then why did he disappear?" Toey lowered his head, as if asking himself more than anyone else.

"He probably had his reasons. Q was afraid of love."

Everyone turned to look at Phum, probably because Phum had been afraid too and understood. I smiled at Phum and reached out to hold his hand.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore."

"Yeah, I'm not afraid anymore."

I know that Q has hurt many people, whether intentionally or not. If I had to guess why he chose to abandon his own love, it might be because he had never loved anyone before. He was probably afraid of getting hurt.

More importantly, he was likely afraid that his 'special person' would get hurt because of him. And if that's the case, I don't know who to feel more sorry for: someone who acts out of love like Toey, or someone who is afraid of love like Q.

...

..

.

Toey has gone home. Beer and Mick took him because Beer had to run an errand with his dad. But the truth is, we wanted to separate Mick from Pan because if those two are together and plan to help Toey, I can tell you it would be a disaster. So, we continued planning what to do next.

"You're amazing, you completely shut us down." We were ganging up on little Matt, the key player in helping Toey hide his love for Q because he was the only one who knew everything, but the rascal kept quiet.

"Hehe, I was trying to help my friend, P'Chan."

"Don't worry, I'm here," Pan said, crossing his arms and looking serious.

"I'm worried because you're here, Pan," Tan said, intercepting the rising star. Pan's face immediately turned sour. Luckily, Mick was taken away, otherwise, heh heh...

"I know you guys want to help Toey, but he's endured it for many years. It's better to leave it as it is."
"But it's sad, you know, having to see the person you love every day but not being able to express your love."

I was with Toey and Q almost all the time. Whenever they met at the faculty, they would argue, tease, and play pranks on each other. From now on, I probably won't be able to look at this scene with a smile like before because of the truth I just learned. The bright and cheerful Toey has another side that must be suffering quite a bit.

"Does he pretend to argue with Q, Matt?"

"No, not pretending, Phi. When they talked via notes, they were always teasing  each other. Besides, Q is a tease, and so is Toey. When people like that meet, it would be strange if they didn't bicker."

We nodded in understanding.

"I once urged him to confess to P'Q, but he said it wasn't necessary. He was satisfied with this, being like this was good enough."

"I think he was afraid of losing a brother and not being able to face each other."

"Yeah, don't worry, guys. I told you I'd play Cupid. Plus, we have four experts here, two pairs." Pan gestured to Phum and me, and then to Tan and Fang. Oh great, it comes back to me.

"Guys, don't tell P'Q, okay? Toey will definitely kill me."

"And you're just going to leave it like this? He's in so much pain right now, you know."

"Toey is used to it, P'Tan. But the reason you saw him down when we went drinking was because he saw Q with his girlfriend... uh... in the car. That's why he was upset."

I don't want to imagine how Toey felt when he saw Q with his girlfriend.

"In the car? Wow, whoa, whoa, awesome, what a the fuck Q! So what? Did he film it?"

"Fuck Pan, is this the right time?"

"Yeah, I know. Let's just say I'm going to try talking to Q."

"Please, P'Pan, I'm begging you, don't tell P'Q. Just leave it as it is."

"We have to tell Q. Tell him."

"Pan, do you understand Thai? Or do you need me to translate Thai to Thai? He said to leave it alone, you buffalo."

"Don't stop me, guys. I was born to be the hero on a bathing cloth (pâa kăao máa) to save Toey."

"White horse (máa kăao), Pan!!!"

Oh my, looking at the helper, I feel like I need to take a couple of packs of paracetamol. What kind of Cupid is this crazy?

[T/n: 🤣🤣🤣]

"First, we need to call Q for questioning. Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a hundred battles and win one."

[T/n: Omg, I'm rolling on the floor. My stomach hurt.
Khun Pan shared his own variation of Sun Tzu's quote "Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories."]

"Whose teaching is that, Pan?" Even Phum was confused.

"Yang Guo."

Huh? Yang Guo (杨过)? Oh my god! Isn't he the hero from The Return of the Condor Heroes (神雕侠侣)?

"Don't you know Yang Guo, Phum? He's Xiao Long Nu's lover from The Return of the Condor Heroes*. I'm Yang Pan."

[T/n: Don't stop me, guys. I can't stand him anymore. I need to figure out what's going on in his head. Is it brains or just soy pulp?"

"Uh..." We could only look at each other, bewildered. Uh... We were talking about Toey and Q, and somehow ended up at the Quanzhen School on Zhongnan Mountain from Jin Yong's The Return of the Condor Heroes. And Pan even appointed himself as another character. But instead of Yang(ia) Pan, I think he should be called Hia Pan. Hia Pan is a distant relative of Yang Guo, not in The Return of the Condor Heroes, but in another series called The Return of the Fools. Heh.

[* Yang Guo is the protagonist of the wuxia novel (historical martial and fantasy literature) The Return of the Condor Heroes by Jin Yong and the TV series of the same name.
Pan probably admires him because he has the looks of a lady-killer (🤭), intelligence, and most importantly, he served his native land by participating in defending the country from Mongol invaders.]

"What should we do?" We stopped paying attention to Pan and turned to seriously discuss the matter.

"If he's satisfied with this, then let it be." Everyone looked at Fang, stunned.

"You're so heartless, Fang. You're cruel, a demon, a devil, Satan." Pan was getting worked up.

"I think we should help him a bit. I feel sorry for the kid," Chan agreed with me. "Evil spirit, zombie..." Pan's voice kept interrupting. You stupid bastard!

"How are we going to help? Are we going to force Q to break up with his girlfriend and be with Toey?" We looked at Fang, confused again. Toey was his beloved little brother, so why...

"What's wrong with you, Fang? Don't you want to see him happy?" Tan pinched his boyfriend's prominent nose playfully. Fang snorted and shook his head.

"I don't think he'd be happy if he's going to end up being rejected by Q."

We fell silent again.

"Think about it," Fang turned to Tan. "One day, Peem comes up to you and says he's been secretly in love with you for a long time. Will you be able to look at his face? How would you feel? At the very least, you'd feel awkward, and at worst, you'd stop being friends."

Tan and I looked at each other, bewildered. I didn't mean to, but my mouth twisted on its own. I felt like throwing up. Me, in love with Tan? What a comparison, Fang! Just thinking about it makes me feel like I have an ingrown nail.

"But it's not the same, Fang. Q used to love Toey."

"He didn't love Toey. He loved someone named Nompan, the one who exchanged notes with him."

I started to understand what Fang was trying to convey. It's true, if Q dared to leave Nom Pan while still being in love with him, he would probably dare to reject Toey as well.

"But I insist on helping them." Your determination is very strong, Pan.

"It's not that I don't want to help. I just want us to take it step by step, not go straight to Q and tell him. Do you understand, Pan?"

"Oh, I understand. So, I'll call Q then."

Fang got up and started chasing and kicking Pan around the room. Sigh, these Cupids might kill each other before they even shoot their arrows.

...

..

.

After discussing without much progress, they all went home to prepare for the final battle. We had to put the issue of Q and Toey on hold for now. But, now there's Khun Chai Phum, who refuses to go home. He followed me upstairs and is now rolling around on my bed.

"Phum, I'm hot and uncomfortable. Why are you hugging me?" It's not just the hug, but he's also draping his leg over me. It's heavy!

"If you're hot, go adjust the air conditioner."

"That's a waste of electricity. 25 degrees helps reduce global warming. Let go of me, damn it!" I struggled.

"If you don't stay still, I'll do more than just hug."

There was no need for a second warning. I stayed still immediately, not even daring to breathe heavily. This jerk was enjoying himself, laughing happily while hugging me tightly. Ugh, I'm so uncomfortable. Does he think I'm his teddy bear or something?

"Peem"

"Yeah?"

"Are you wearing perfume?"

"Yeah."

"Don't wear it next time. I like the original scent."

"The scent of Baby Mild powder, right?"

"Mm-hmm." To show that he really liked it, Phum leaned in to sniff and nuzzle into me immediately.

[T/N: 🫠]

"Haha, Phum, that tickles! Haha, stop, stop!" Phum had some kind of a goatee, so when he nuzzled my neck, it tickled. "S-stop, I can't breathe!" By the time he stopped, I was panting. He smiled at me for a moment before leaning in to kiss me. If I couldn't breathe before, now I felt like my heart was going to stop.

"Damn you, Phum, are you starving to death? Damn it, I almost died." I pushed him away and quickly gulped in oxygen before getting up to sit at the computer desk, leaving him grinning like a fool on the bed.

"Just a kiss and you're making a scene. After exams, you'll get more of this, Shorty."

I threw a paintbrush at the pervert. "You're such a jerk."

"Heh heh, come sit here." He patted the bed for me to lie down with him. Dream on! "Hurry up, I won't do anything." I still looked at him distrustfully. "If I get up, you won't survive until the exams, Peem. Come here, quickly."

"Yeah, damn it, always bossing me around, you Hitler."

In the end, I walked over to lie down and let him hug me. We lay there hugging in silence, not saying anything. The exams were are coming up soon, and after that, it would will be the holidays. I'd have to go back to Chiang Mai and wouldn't see Phum for several months. Just thinking about it made me feel lonely, so I unconsciously snuggled closer to him.

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking about Toey... Phum, do you think Q still loves Toey?"

"I don't know."

"And if he finds out that Toey is Nong Nompan, what will happen?"

"I don't know."

Right, how could Phum know? Since there's only one person who knows the answer to that question.

End of Chapter 29 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>