Phum and I walked back home together. We walked along, screaming and singing, kicking cans, and kicking rocks along the way. We even had a running race. Phum tried to piggyback on me, and I sprinted away, nearly out of breath. When we finally got tired, we walked holding hand. By the time we got home it was almost 8 p.m.

"Nong Phum, stay for dinner. Today I'll show you full cooking skills. It's almost done."

As soon as Phum and I walked into the house, Aunt Pui suddenly swooped out to find his beloved nephew (Phum, not me, I fell off the edge a long time ago) with a spatula in her hand.

"Are you skilled at unpacking ready-to-eat food and putting them in the microwave?"

Phum stood and laughed as Aunt Pui and I teased each other.

"A'Peem, your mouth. N' Phum, don't listen to him. He's saying things. Peem, take N' Phum upstairs to play. When the food is ready, I'll call you guys."

"Ok, then I'll go play games." I sprinted up to the second floor, but I had to hurry back down because the queen's loud shouting echoed throughout the house.

"Peem!!!! Why don't you invite N' Phum up to play? Why do you behave like that!!!!"

"Oh, I thought he was following me. Come up then. See?I was scolded by Aunt Pui? Let's play games." I pulled Phum, who was standing confused, to quickly run away from madam Pui's spatula. Who would have thought he would be standing there dumbly?

"My room is a bit messy, hehe."

My room was like any typical art student's room, likein Something About Art*. It smells of plaster, thinner, glue, stool, marijuana. The last one was absent, hehe. On the balcony, there stood a drawing board, cans of paint, and an easel—ready for me to sit and sketch amidst nature. A second easel occupied the center of the room. There, completed and unfinished drawings coexisted, and some probably won't be continued, stacked like a jigsaw puzzle."

[*กลิ่นสีและกาวแป้ง (1988) – literally means"The smell of paint and glue", is a movie about art students.]

"You like white?"

Phum must have noticed that almost everything in the room—the bed, tables, curtains—is white. He just didn't know that the person behind all of this was Aunt Pui.

" Well, it just so happens that I have a pure heart. Hehe."

[T/N: 🤮]

"Really?" Phum shook his head, chuckling. He continued to explore my room, while I turned on my computer and went online, raising pigs as usual.

"Can I lie on your bed?"

"Oh, sure, go ahead, who's stopping you? But don't sleep, Aunt Pui will call us to eat soon."

"Uh-huh," is the only reply. And then theroom fell silent, accompanied only by the familiar MSN notification sound and the soft click of my mouse.

"You still keep them?"

"Hmm, what?"

I turned around and looked at the tall man sprawled out on the bed. I raised my eyebrows, not understanding what he meant. He then pointed at the tall glass next to the computer. Inside it were roses—the very ones he had previously claimed he didn't intend to buy. Now they were dry and crispy like they had been fried in batter, but I still kept them.

"Oh, the roses? Actually, I didn't intend to keep them. I forgot to throw them away."

"If you throw them away, I will..."

"Hahaha, alright, you're really good at threatening me. I won't throw them away."

I turned back and continued stealing the pigs. Who gave the Internet morning glory to eat? Slow as a turtle. I heard the sound of Phum getting up and saw out of the corner of my eyes that he had gotten out onto the balcony, but I didn't care.

[*Turtles are known to eat morning glory. Same here, I eat a lot of it too 😁.]

It felt like Phum would get up and stand on the balcony. But I don't care to look. Be careful of getting hit by a plant poton your neck ná, N' Phum.

"Peem, is this a picture of me?"

"Hey!!!"

Oh, shit! I slipped out onto the balcony in desperation. Damn, I'd forgotten! The white paper atop the drawing board held a sketch of Phum's face. Although I hadn't added the details yet, anyone could tell that the person in the picture matched the one standing next to me right now.

"Uh," by now my body must have shrunk to less than two fingers. I was tempted to jump off the balcony. Damn it, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. But Phum didn't say anything to embarrass me further. Hedidn't ask when I started or why I drew it. Instead, he stood there, gazing atthe unfinished portrait of himself, and then he smiled. Can he tell that I sketched this before he even began flirting with me? Does he sense that I secretly liked him first? Ahhh, I'm already blushing, Phum.

"Handsome, but can't compete with the real thing," were his remarks. Made me feel a little easier to breathe.

"Oh, and you say I'm narcissistic. But it's true,this picture can't compete with the real thing. However, the real person isn't particularly handsome; he just looks better than the picture."

"So sorry"

"Stop being dramatic, Phum." I tried to pull him back inside.

"Can I have it when you finish? I mean I want to buy it." Phum refused to leave. He still stood there, smiling at his portrait. This guy must be crazy, but secretly, I was delighted. Phum'swillingness to pay means he recognizes the value of art. Damn, I didn't make the wrong choice with my boyfriend after all.

"You can buy it now; I'm selling it inexpensively. A million or two. Is that okay?" I teased.

"Uh-huh, ok."

"Hey, I'm just joking." Sometimes I forgetthat Phum's rich but no matter how rich he is, shouldn't he use his money wisely? Every piece of art has value but the price has to be reasonable for the job.

[T/N: Beauty in the eye of beholder, in Phum's eyes your artworks are priceless.]

"But I'm telling the truth. I want it."

"Yes, if you want it, I'll give it to you for free. I'll put it in a gold frame, too."

"You aren't deceiving me, are you?"

"Oh no... but once it's framed, I'll put it inthe worship room with some flowers, incense sticks, and candles. Haha."

"Damn you." Phum tapped my head lightly.

I was a little relieved that he didn't ask me about the reason why I painted it. Even though he didn't say anything, and I didn't either,but he probably knew why I drew this picture. I sketched it without a model, without any reference to look at. It's because Phum's face is etched in my mind. Just thinking about it, I put it down on paper.

"Peem"

"Um?"

"Thank you for agreeing to be my boyfriend."

"Uh!" Damn it, what are you saying? >///< I pretended to be interested in the game on the screen, when in reality all of my concentration had gone to Phum.

"Peem"

"Uh-huh"

"Please give me a hug."

I turned the chair around and looked at Phum. Eventhough I was puzzled about what mood he was in, those sad eyes left me no time to think. Standing up, I walked over to Phum. As he sat, I had to look down tomake eye contact. Taking another step, I positioned myself between his legs andextending my arms, embracing him tightly.

Phum buried his face in my chest, both arms wrapped around my waist. He hugged me tightly, shivering as if he were cold.

"I can't remember the last time I received a warm hug like this. How long has it been?"

What a heart-wrenching statement.

"Why are you remembering the last time? Remember this hug, now that you've been hugged, you feel better, right?" I said and gently stroked Phum's back, like comforting a child. The man, who appeared strong, was no different from anyone else. Yet sometimes, even Phum might bemore vulnerable than anyone else.

For me, receiving a hug from my parents is truly warm. However, it's as if something is still missing, something my heart longs for. It's like life itself is incomplete until this moment, when I stand here, embracing Phum like this. Now I know what I've been searching for all along, and I want to share this feeling with Phum.

[T/N: I want to know what your father thinks if he can read your thoughts. ]

The childhood story of Phum that I learned from Beer still lingers in my heart. It must have been very lonely, and it surely carried the pain of past experiences. I don't know if Phum's parents ever hugged him, but if my embrace can provide some warmth, I want to erase all the wasted time for Phum with this hug. Let the good feelings I have be wrapped around Phum'sheart.

"I'm sorry, Peem, for everything in the past. Sorry for not being good to you." Phum rubbed his face against my shoulder.

Ah, I accept your apology, but forgiveness is still pending. Let me observe your behavior first," I teased, gently patting the back of the person in my arms. Phum appeared so despondent, I wasn't accustomed to seeing him like this. I continued to ruffle his hair until it was all messy, and Phum finally slapped my hand away.

"Let's go eat. Aunt Pui is probably finished."

"Wait Peem."

I stopped and turned to look at Phum again. He reached out and held my wrist, his dark eyes trembling with uncertainty and anxiety.

"I am a possessive person."

"Ah!" I stood there and blinked, waiting. What does he want to say?

"The more important things I love, the more possessive I become. I'm just saying, this doesn't mean you're an object. I mean, you'remy boyfriend," Phum explained further.

"Oh."

"Sometimes I get unreasonable and jealous. Can you handle it?"

I opened my mouth and thought for a moment before smiling at Phum and squeezing his hand tightly to reassure him.

"I won't rely on patience, but I'll try to understand because I also have many bad habits and disadvantages. I hope you will try to understand them as well. Are we cool?"

"Oh, very cool, hehe." Phum's beautiful smile always put my mind at ease whenever I looked at it.

You don't have to be afraid, Phum. Even if there is no one to hug you, I will hug you. If you're lonely, I'll hold you close. If you cry or feel sad, my embrace will always be there for you.

***

I pulled Phum's hand downstairs, where Aunt Pui was serving rice and setting the table in delightful disarray.

"Here, let me help."

"Oh, guys, no need to help, go wash your hands and come eat. N' Phum, can you eat this, right?" Aunt Pui asked like that because she knew what kind of family Phum came from.

"Yes, I can."

"Phum can eat everything. Just not too spicy. He's a little boy, hehe."

Because Aunt Pui was here, Phum couldn't fight back. You'vegot it coming! Haha. During our meal, Aunt Pui found so many topics to talk about and Phum was a good listener, smiling along or saying 'krub' occasionally.

"Peem, next week I'm going to work in Singapore."

"For work or countdown?"

"Haha, very smart, my nephew. You know everything. Wherewill you be for New Year? Will you go back to Chiang Mai?"

"No, this year Peem will stay in Bangkok with friends, right Phum?"

Phum replied with a smile. Seeing him smile made me feel relieved; I really didn't like his gloomy face when we were upstairs.

"If N' Phum is free, come hang out with Peem ná."

"Yes, sure." He smiled again. Hmm. He's been smiling so much. Aunt Pui, did you put weed in the soup?

After finishing our meal, aunt Pui said goodbye and heads off to bed. Ah, she's not a hygienic kid who sleeps before 9 p.m, but because her body couldn't handle it, she quickly went to bed, haha. Meanwhile, Phum and I cleared the table and washed the dishes. Honestly, I have to admit that I did it and Phum tried to help.

[*เด็กอนามัย (slang, humorous) one who adopts a healthy or hygienic lifestyle, such as a person who goes to bed early, is mysophobic, etc.]

"I'll wash them. You can go watch TV. Ben 10 is startingsoon." I lured him with cartoon.

"I want to help."

"You know how to do it?"

"I don't know how, but I want to."

Even though I won't let you, you insist on it anyway, Phum.

"Then you rinse them off." He looked confused, so I had to explain it to him. "No matter how you do it, make the soap foam rinse off completely until it's no longer slippery? Can you do that?"

"Hmm." Even though I didn't really trust him, I let himdo it. And let me tell you, it was the most chaotic dishwashing I've everexperienced —all thanks to Phum!!! Sometimes he was lightning-quick, other times he moved like ahesitant turtle. And sometimes he dropped the dishes. Washing dishes should only wet your hands, but I ended up looking like I'd survived Songkran. Fed up, I herded him out to the living room. But before he left, he messed up my hair with his wet hands.

[*Songkran (เทศกาลสงกรานต์) is the Thai NewYear's national holiday. People engage in playful water battles, drenching each other with water guns, buckets, and hoses. It's like a nationwide splash zone!]

And then, I heard a faint sound like Scoopy Doo, accompanied by Phum's laughter.

"Oh, guava, pear, lychee, orange, let's eat them all before Aunt Pui came down and hits me in the head for not consuming vitamins from nature."

Can vitamins help you increase your height? Why did he force me to eat after every meal?

Phum smiled and said that Aunt Pui was cute. Yeah right, we'll see about that later. He and I sat and ate all the fruit that AuntPui had carefully peeled. By the time we finished, Scoopy Doo also ended. Having a younger boyfriend means that you have to have regular health check-up and adapt to watch cartoons regularly. After finishing watching, we went up to my room.

[T/N:Oh gosh🤣🤣🤣 Phi Peem, Nong Phum is just few months younger than you.]

...............................................

I invited him to play games but he refused, saying hisfinger hurt. Damn, who was desperately asking to join? Phum lay on thebed reading a racing book. As for me, who was rejected from Winning (game), I had to sit and chat on MSN with friends to relieve boredom.

Just seeing that Q's status made me laugh. He said "I'mgoing to kill Nong Code". As for Toey "I will report you". So, I dragged both of them into a chat. Hahaha, they can even bite each other in MSN. This is amazing, my dear friend, my dear junior. Love it!

But what's more shocking than anything else in the world is Fang's status: "Love Tan krub". Damn it. I figured it was Tan's handiwork, but Phum suspected Fang might have done it himself—probably because he ticked Tan off and was trying to reconcile. And as for me? Well, it's just 'P&P^^'—my friends all piled in to rib me. Pan said it sounds like a cake brand. That's S&P, dude.

[T/N: They're all so cute! Pan, at least you're right about onething. They're both sweet!]

"Ha ha ha ha ha""

"Peem"

"Hahaha. What? Haha." I still laugh at Q andToey's friendly exchange on MSN.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Heh heh, I'm laughing at Q and Toey, and your brother. Damn, "Love Tan krub"!!! Oh, but they really love each other, so cute."

"People who are lovers must love eachother." Every part of my senses stumbled upon the word "love." Aslovers, they have to love each other. Phum and I are lovers, which means we also....

"Phum, what is the difference between love and like?"I asked without turning to look at the person behind me.

"Don't know."

"Then why do you like me?"

I have asked myself this question many times. Eventhough I knew the answer but this time I would like to change the wording of the question a bit. And I wanted to ask both him and myself.

The feeling we have for each other right now, what is it called?

"I don't know, there's no reason."

"Um, so?"

"Because you're cute."

"There're people cuter than me. Why don't you like them?"

"I don't know, there's no reason."

And then we were quiet. I left MSN to play game but why I kept seeing Phum's face on the screen, even though I had my back to him.

"Peem"

"Uh?"

I turned around, drawn by the sound of his voice calling.There he sat at the edge of the bed, cradling the guitar. My thoughts halted. Ifurrowed my eyebrows at him with curiosity.

"Come sit here," he said, patting the space next to him.

"Why? What are you going to do?" I smiled teasingly,but got up anyway and sit next to him as he asked.

"I'll sing you a song."

"Wow, my boyfriend's about to unleash his inner romantic. Seriously? Do you have a fever?"

I joked to cover my nervousness before switching tosit cross-legged, facing each other, ready to hear Phum sing.

Though I'm still not sure how to call my feelings, I decide to stop looking for answers. Instead, I'll embrace the present. I feel at ease, genuinely happy. I love spending time with Phum and this should be enough. Being with Phum matters most—nothing else compares.

"Listen carefully, Shorty." He smiled shyly. I suppressedmy own smile and nodded in acknowledgment.

As Phum's soft, deep voice began the song,embarrassment washed over me, and I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Ijust found out that when I'm embarrassed, I really liked to laugh.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(ไม่มีเหตุผล(No Reason) - Trai Bhumiratna)

Love... the moment we fall for someone,
It must have a reason, right?
Because they're good at talking. Because they're cute
Or because they're incredibly beautiful, gentle and bright?
I don't know yet, and I'm still not sure.

Phum didn't look away from me for even a second, except when he occasionally looked at the guitar chords. His gentle smile and sincere eyes never left me, until my face was about to burn.

Love... Do you know that I love you?
You are the one, but if you were to askwhy.
It's because your smile feels so familiar,
And your kindness knows no bounds.
Despite countless answers, none align withmy heart.

Yet, it's love... Can it exist without reason?
I feel lonely when you're not here, Idon't know why.
To declare love because the heart insists—could that be enough?
I struggle to find words that trulydescribe this feeling.
Which words can convey a heart that feelslove... Well, I just know it's true.

When Phum reached the middle of the song, he suddenly stopped,and our eyes met. He leaned down and kissed my cheek while I clung to the bedsheet, nearly tearing it off out of shyness. No need for flames; just a flashlight on me, and I was ready to melt. Phum himself was no different. He was as shy and didn't dare look into my eyes. He even strummed the wrong chords acouple of times. It was enough to make me laugh, and I playfully tapped hischeek in return.

It's love... can you love without reason?
I feel lonely when you're not here, and Idon't know why.
It's love because the heart insists—could that be enough?
No need to overthinking it.

To say 'I love you'... can it be without reason?
I feel lonely when you're not here, and Idon't know why.
To declare love because the heart insists—could that be enough?
No need for specific words; no need to complicate it.

Love, after all, uses the heart... to explain

The song ended, and we gazed into each other's eyes insilence. There were so many feelings could not be conveyed in a single melody.Yet, we could sense them in the depths of each other's eyes. Phum leaned down, gentlykissed the corner of my lips, then pulled away, revealing a shy smile and sincerelook in his eyes. And I mirrored that smile right back at him.

"I truly don't know. Is what I'm feeling rightnow love? It's unlike anything I've experienced before. And if it's love, Idon't know when I loved you. I just woke up one day, and there it was—arealization that I was in love. It's not like I never tried to find the answerbut I couldn't find it. Don't ask me again why I love you because I have noreason to give. Just knowing that I love you, and that's enough."

Satttttt!!!!!! Am I dead yet? Oh I'm goingto die! Damn, I want to die to escape the embarrassment.

In reality, I could only nod in agreement. What should I say? How blessed I'm that I can still breathe!

We smiled at each other for a short time. My face and Phum's slowly moved towards each other, our lips touched. We felt the warm of each other's breath. He playfully nipped at my lip, sending a delightful shiver through my chest. But I wasn't about to surrender so easily. I parted my lips, inviting him in. Our tongues danced, a rhythm of desire and longing. Phum skillfully balanced between gentle suction and fervent caresses. It was a kiss that blended sweetness and intensity, leaving me smiling and eager for more.

Phum and I kissed again and again.

Phum told me that

No need for specific words; no need to complicate it.
Love, after all, uses the heart... to explain

That's right, love doesn't need a reason at all.

Thank you na Phum, I said in my heart, for using your heart to explain to me the word "love".

And I hope you can understand the word "love" that I explained with my heart to you as well.

"Love you na!"

"Love you too!"

End of Chapter 20 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Translator's note: Hey guys, I don't watch the series - I quitted after the first episode. Did they use the song in the series?