Proofreader: azzianna

"Hey! What's the matter, Peem, Phum?"

I tried to turn my head to look at the owner of that voice but could only turn my neck a little bit because a hand that is as big as a palm leaf was tightly gripping my neck. Your arm and wrist strength is so strong. I admire you. If you add a little more force, my Adam's apple will definitely break.

I saw out of the corner of my eye that Tan's friend, who was like the prince riding a white horse, was running, looking alert, towards us. On the other side, there was a group of nearly a hundred young men also approaching me. If I guess right, they must definitely be friends of this Popeye spinach-powered bastard. With so many people flocking together, I was sure my corpse would be a mess. Today, I invite everyone to join in the weak-kneed experience, at the Faculty of Engineering football field right now. For the first time in my life, my legs went soft.

"Do you know this shorty, Tan?" a deep, gruff voice asked. It's the same question that I was wondering as well. Did Tan even know this asshole? And when will this bastard stop calling me Shorty?

[T/N: Never. I guess 🤔]

The person who was asked had a clearly embarrassed expression on his face. He slowly walked towards me with both hands raised at shoulder level. I thought this behavior looked familiar, like I had seen it on crime news. When the police were persuading a drunkard who had gone out of control and took his wife and children hostage.

[T/N: 🤔 Then you're the hostage wife. Poor you.]

"You two, uh, please take it easy." Even though he said that, his eyes seemed to only address the person holding my shirt collar. "This is Peem, Phum, my friend Peem, the one I once told you about, my best friend from secondary school."

Bastard, I was so touched! At least before I died, I heard Tan say that I was his best friend. Because before this, I always thought of Tan as a parasite in my life. Please forgive me, my friend. If the next life is real, we will probably be born to cook Mama (instant noodle) and share it with each other again.

"Do you guys have any misunderstandings? I think you'd better release Peem first. Calm down, Phum. Let go of Peem first. Then let's have a good talk."

Clearly, this kind of sweet-talking and behavior, I am the hostage and this asshole was the criminal. I was secretly worried about one thing. People like Tan never beg anyone. He is an old gangster. He quarreled and fought three times after lunch at school, that the administrative teacher had to punish him. But now, he's begging this person. He's also very careful. I admire this trash in a strange way. What the hell happened to my friend? My nosy gland wanted to come out and squirmed again. But I was being strangled, so it couldn't get out. And when are you going to let go of my collar, you shithead? I couldn't breathe.

"He threw his flip-flop at me!!!"

"Oh, he called me Shorty!!!" Come on, did you think you're the only one who can rat out? Now you know me. Everyone must know this, Potter*!! Above all else, I think I'm as tough as old boots. Even if I was half dead, I was still bite back without fear to the point that I still wondered why I didn't avoid this conflict like I usually did in the past.

*Harry Potter???
[T/N: 😂😂😂 They acted like two baby boys at kindergarten]

"You're short. I'm just telling the truth."

"Your father is short. No matter if it's the truth or not, you have no right to criticize my body, you asshole."

"Asshole? You call me asshole? Huh???!!!"

"Oh yeah, I'm calling you an asshole. Then what? Huh! What are you going to do? Well, you're such a asshole."

"You..."

"Yes!!! What?!"

"Stop!!! Enough!!!"

"WHO WILL YOU CHOOSE?" Both I and the one with king gecko's hands stopped splashing saliva at each other, turned, and asked Tan in unison.

The person in question, unexpectedly, got startled. He looked back and forth between the two of us with a distressed expression that looked like he was about to cry. You don't have to feel sorry, my dear friend. There's no reason for you to hesitate. This choice was easy to make because we are best friends. It's like choosing between gravel and diamond. I'm the diamond. I'm your only answer. Say it Tan, it's just on the tip of your tongue. Just say it.

"Uh...that's..."

[T/N: 🤣🤣🤣 Peem, you were Narcissus in a past life, weren't you?
Tan, leave them alone. By the way, where is your sweetheart?]

"TAN!! I'M YOUR FRIEND." We shouted in union again.

But is this guy Tan's friend? What kind of friend? Why did I not know? I thought as I tried to wriggle out of his grips but there wasn't much of an effect. I was tired of struggling on my own, so I stopped, while he was still staring at my face, so near that I could count his eyelashes. When he saw that I had stopped, he turned to look at Tan. Then he turned back and stared at me again, then turned to look at Tan again. Were you practicing physiognomy with us?

"Guys, don't do this. I'm distressed. You are both my friends. Why do I have to choose? You act like a second-grader fighting over toys."

"Come on, Phum. It's just a small matter. It's better to talk. He's a friend of Tan. Don't make a big deal out of it."

Someone standing near Tan spoke up. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't turn my neck now because it was squeezed by 'Superman' until it was completely sore. Even though it wasn't clear when I saw that person, it was enough to see a soft, glowing light radiating around him. It's like there's the aura of an aristocratic person shining. When I saw his face, he looked like a prince in real life. Most importantly, he's very tall. A tall man again? This area is really not a good place to live. I'm so jealous. I also want to be tall with long legs and high fashionable look like that. So that no one will shout and call me Shorty in broad daylight (you can't call me that at night either, it's forbidden).

[T/N: Phum, you hear that? You're not allowed to call him Shorty at night either 😏]

"Yes, people are looking. You should put Ai Tiny down."

"Fuck you, who are you calling Tiny? Huh!!!"

I jerked my neck back and looked the other way, looking for the guy who dared to call me "Tiny". Tiny or Shorty. My parents have never called me like that, you bastard. Because Mom and Dad call me the kid they picked up*.

* ไอ้เด็กเก็บมาเลี้ยง It's an Asian thing, I think, when you ask your parents where are babies from, they would tell you that they picked you up from a trash can, or the hospital, or supermarket (as a promotional gift) 😂😂😂

I prepared to jump and snap that golden-headed bastard's neck. But the asshole released his hands from my collar and made me lose control. Then he put his hand on my forehead instead, so I could only extend my short arms out to attack, and all I could do was wriggle like a fish lacking water, like a stupid thief in movies. Becoming a clown for them to laugh at.

The more I heard their laughter, the angrier I became. The sound pierced deep into my heart. I probably wouldn't have exploded, if I hadn't heard Tan's voice mixed with those scumbags. I am not your clown.

T/N: 🙁

"Fuck Tan! Are you laughing at me, too?" I asked loudly. Tan quickly shut his mouth. He waved his hand to deny his mistake with all his might, and a pale face.

"No, Peem, I didn't." You said no, but you were holding back your laughter so hard that your face turned green.

"Phummmm, have you seen that? Peem gets mad to this extent. He's not bad. He isn't dangerous. Never thought ill of anyone. My friend is a good person." Tan started pleading with that asshole again. But why did you have to roll your eyes and look at the sky when you said I'm a good person?

"Please free my friend, Phum. Listen to me. If there's any problem, just talk about it. We're friends. Right, you guys?" Tan turned to ask for opinions from Ai Golden head and Ai Angel, and all the engineering guys who were ready to jump in and stomp on me at any time. I was confused. Why did he have to talk like it's my fault? The one at fault is that motherfucker. Why was he begging for mercy from him?

The person in front of me sneered as soon as Tan finished speaking. He started pinching the collar of my shirt again. Oh my gosh, what the hell are you doing to my shirt?

"I won't let him go!!! / Don't beg him!!!"

We spoke together again. Three times is no longer a coincidence. Fate? Haha, it must be bad karma. I stared into his eyes without ceasing. He also stared back indifferently. His face is so clear. His skin is very smooth and glowing, not a single pimple, and no rash at all. If I ask him about his tips for taking care of his facial skin right now, would it be ok?

[T/N: Yes, of course. Now or never 🤦‍♀️]

"Have you guys seen that he hasn't realized it?"

"Well, it's not my fault, why do I have to feel guilty? You have to realize this because you are the one at fault."

"Oh, really?" he hissed out. Is that really bothering him? Ai... while we was having a battle of eyesight (there was no elephant, just eyesight, so there was no elephant duel*), Ai gecko hands looked at me with strange eyes from head to toe, then slowly revealed a smile at the corner of his mouth before saying something that his evil brain could think of.

[* Elephant duels were a historical martial practice where opposing army leaders engaged each other on the battlefield in a single combat on the back of war elephants.]

"Hmmmm... ok, you look cute. I'm back down. Considering that you're Tan's friend. I can let you go, but..." Why does it have "but"? I hate everything that has "but". "But you have to apologize to me first."

Oh my gosh!!!!!

"Are you sleepwalking, you asshole? You kicked the ball and it hit me. Plus, you call me in a disgusting way. Now you're still going to ask me to apologize? Are you crazy? I'm asking you a real question."

Just wait, wait for salt to be as sweet as Mitr Phol sugar, I'll be willing to apologize to you. When I turned back that butthole gritted his teeth until his jaw formed a ridge. Then he leaned forward, bringing his clear face down to speak near my face.

[* Mitr Phol Group is Thailand's and Asia's biggest sugar and bio-energy producer.]

"I gave your friend a chance, Tan, but he didn't take it. You can't blame me."

"Phummm..."

"You don't have to get involve, Tan. I can handle it myself."

"Peem, but..."

"You're that brave, huh? I think that apologizing would be too easy for you. You probably like something challenging, then..." That arsehole was silent for a moment before spitting out words. Words that made the blood boil and almost explode. Words that make me want to stick my thumbs in both of his nostrils.

"Why don't you kneel down, and prostrate at my feet? In case you like it."

Wow, hahaha, I was speechless. I couldn't explain how I felt : shock, anger, unexpectedness, hurt. I just felt the side of my temple pounding, my body trembling with emotion.

Prostrate? Hey, who are you to make me bow down to? The only person I will bow down to is Siddhartha*. How the hell did you grown up to have such a bad nature? Like the villain who has bad manners, likes to show off power, in a Chak Chak Wong Wong lakhon**.

* The last life of Buddha
** Thai television dramas that were based on folk tales. They often have similar storylines, such as a prince has to leave his country and go on an adventure, meet the heroine and fight with the villain.

All my patience had come to an end. It was completely gone when I saw that bastard's mischievous smile. No need to wait to file charge in court. I myself judged his guilt by ... kicking him in the balls*!!!

* original expression ผ่าหมาก chop the betel nut 🤣🤣🤣

"Oops!!!!!!"

"Shit!!!!!!"

The son of a bitch dropped to his knees and grabbed his Jumoko* while screaming loudly, barely able to speak because he could only scream two words then he couldn't scream anymore. His face changed to a different shade as if he was using Maybelline New York. Everyone around him screamed loudly, shocked by what happened as fast as light. Maybe I hit him so hard that his ears turned green. His friends all rushed over to check on his condition. They shouted and yelled until I couldn't understand their words. Heh, no need to waste time checking. I assured you that there would be no way he/it could raise up to spread (bad) seeds for a very long time. But even though it was between life and death, that asshole still looked at me with murderous eyes. He tried to lift his index finger to point at my face, but his trembling hand fell to his side. What a pitiful little dick!

[* จูโมะโกะ I don't know what it means but it's not difficult to guess 😅]

I stood there watching him breathe heavily for about two seconds before quickly running away, ignoring the gnashing of teeth and growls.

I ignored Tan's call to wait. As I got further away from the scene of the crime, I didn't even know which direction I took. Anger is fucking scary. My heart was beating fast. The sound of gasping was loud. My ears were ringing so hard that I had to tell myself to breathe in and out slowly. I loosened my tightly clenched hands. I almost didn't realize when I accidentally clenched it. I swallowed the viscous saliva into my dry throat. Close my eyes hoping that my breathing rhythm would relax. But in the next second, I opened my eyes. Then I shouted out loud in frustration.

Damn it, I completely forgot my flipfloppppppp.

TBC ​>>>>>>>>>