"What??" I nearly yell.

No, this can't be true!!

"Are you freaking kidding me??"

No, damn!!

"Chris...." I falter.

I cannot believe he's gone. Just like *snap* that!!

I still remember how Tiffany and his wedding day started out (for me) ...

"Wil, get up and get ready, or we'll be late for the wedding!!" I yell for probably the zillionth time.

"Mmkay." Wil grumbles and falls back asleep.

"Wil, I'm not joking, seriously, get up!!" I pull out Wil's pillow from under his head and pull of his blanket.

I scoff at him and walk off to get ready.

After what seems like a million days later, Wil finally gets up and I can hear his feet thumping on the floor.

After I'm fully done, I walk into my room to grab my purse and then run down to the living room, only to see Wil asleep on the couch.

"WILMER VALDERRAMA!!" I yell, making him jump off the couch.

"Dammit, Wil, we're supposed to leave in five minutes!!" I tell him.

"What?? It's that late??" he mumbles.

"Yes, Aurora!!"

"Shoot!!" he says and runs off to the bathroom.

By the time he walks out, I have his suit ready.

Actually, it's lucky he didn't take it out of the bag from the dry-cleaners, else I wouldn't have been able to get it ready...

Well, look at that, yesterday's lazy cures today's crazy!!

A couple of minutes later, we're done and outside...

We reach the area, and I can't help gasping at the sheer beauty of the venue!!

"Wow!!" I exclaim.

Wil, who has been in a quiet, regretful silence ever since we left, now turns to me and smiles.

"Beautiful, isn't it??" he says, and I nod in response.

"Just like you..." he whispers in my ear.

Oh, Wil, if only you feel that way forever...

We walk in, hand in hand...

After the wedding, we wish the happy couple congratulations, Wil jokingly wishing Chris, "Good luck, Chris, you need it to put up with her!!", resulting in me elbowing him in the side of his stomach, making him yell, "Ow!!"

"Sorry, I was just joking..." he then tells Chris, Tiff laughing at this now.

After some more light-hearted banter, we leave...

"Well, they wanted a fairytale wedding, and that's what they got!!" I tell Wil, whose smile widens in response.

The wedding was so amazing, but the only doubt in my mind: will I ever have that?

I mean, I do have Wil, an amazing guy who I love, and who can stand me at least...

"Demi?? Demi??"

"Hmm??" I reply absentmindedly.

"Hey, are you okay? You just blanked out for a minute!!" Wil tells me.

"Did I? I didn't even notice..." I utter.

"Demi, I-" Wil is cut off by my blank stare.

He looks into my eyes, mine locked on his, and we stay that way for a while...

Wil just looks away and walks a few steps and pauses.

Turning around, he gives me a look that strikes a certain fear in my heart.

Probably reading my fear on my face, he gives me a small reassuring smile and starts towards me, but remembers something, so turns around and pauses, only to start again...

Shrugging off the feeling of doubt threatening to overpower me, I randomly scroll through my phone.

Before I know it, I find myself looking at a couple of pictures of that amazing wedding...

One of Wil and I...

Another of the breath-takingly beautiful wedding area...

Ooh, the next one was particularly fun!!

Unexpectedly, a picture shows up, leaving me choking for air as I fight back the tears...

Their near perfect life shattered in one instant...

The answer to what has been nagging me a lot lately finally dawns on me: That could be anyone...

Anyone could face that situation, their world caving down on them in an instant.

I have been largely taking my time, as well as that of mine with others, for granted.

It's time I stopped doing that...

True, I do love Wil a lot, and he does like me as well.

But, then again, one day, one fine (actually, not so fine) day, either one of us has to bear with the other one being gone, forever, with absolutely no chance of turning the clock back...

One part of me is selfish, wanting to go first, so I don't have to feel the pain. The other wishes I don't go first, even though a world of sorrow and pain awaits, just so he doesn't have to feel it...

And then again, it could be totally unexpected...

I also realize something else: now that I've got to know this, all I can think of is how it's not going to be forever...

Someone shakes my arm, saying, "Demi??"

I didn't even notice anyone coming here, so I'm caught off-guard, like a deer in headlights.

I unconsciously flinch and step back several steps.

Confusion now spreads across his face.

"Demi, what's going on??"

When I don't respond, his eyes soften and he slowly approaches me and takes my hand.

"I take it you heard?? About Chris??"

I nod in response.

He pulls me into a long hug, and I finally let go of the sob stuck in my throat, and let it all go...

- - - - - - -

R.I.P. Chris Carney

- - - - - - -