Special Chapter: The other side of the story... from Phum (I) ^^
.....Phum POV ^^
Proofreader: azzianna
Everyone says that my life is enviable, that it is a perfect life, with everything I have, I'd probably be happy all the time. Huh, that's just what outsiders judge from what they see. The truth is, I'm just a man, an ordinary person. Like millions of other people in this world, I have good days and bad days. There are things that hurt deep in my heart. I feel pain, I cry, and I want to see what happiness looks like too. What I always feel all the time is not happiness. Actually, I don't really feel anything at all.
As for love? Huh, it's the kind of thing that I don't think people like me will ever get to know.
Including being hit with a fip-flop.
Being hit with a flip-flop was definitely not something I expected to happen in life, especially when it was followed by being cursed.
"Your father is short, Ai Sat."
Since I was born, no one had ever dared to curse me like this. Who is this short guy? I gripped the collar of his shirt tightly. Repressing the anger that made me want to hit him in the face. I don't want to use force against someone weaker. I don't like to bully those without equal strength. I was certain that I looked menacing enough. It was usually enough to make the person I dealt with shit their pants, but the round eyes in front of me still shone brightly. But there was no sign of being afraid of anything and he was staring back at me.
That was the first thing that caught my eye - he has clear eyes that look like Japanese cartoon characters. I caught myself telling him 'Shorty', and followed by "Prostrate at my feet."
His big eyes widened even more. I didn't really want him to prostrate to me, and I knew he probably never would. Insulting one's dignity is the worst thing a human being can do, and this narrow- eyed bastard must've felt the same.
I gave him an annoying smile but before I could prepare, Shorty's foot kicked my beloved little brother with full force. At that moment, I swore to myself that I would never let Shorty's life find peace again.
...
I had to miss two days of school and stayed in hospital for treatment, to heal. Just thinking about that short guy's face made me want to kill him with my own hands.
I just found out that Shorty is a close friend in Tan. I was surprised because since I'd known Tan, whenever we had problems I usually only saw Tan, Q, Chan, and Pan, that I thought there were only four people in the group. I suspect he's a peaceful person. I forced Tan to take me to see that short guy. But he refused, he said he had to protect his friend. So I'm not your friend??? So I had to play my trump card - that's Khao Fang, my brother. If he didn't take me to see Shorty, then I won't let him ever get close to Fang again. Huh, Tan didn't have a choice.
In fact, it was thanks to Tan's boundless love that made things easier. If he was thinking more consciously, he should've known that my brother isn't interested in this kind of nonsense. But love was blind, so Tan truly had a choice but to agree to take me.
Actually, I had no exact plan on how to take revenge on Shorty. I didn't want to stomp on him. I didn't want to bully an innocent puppy. I just want to get back.
The day I dragged him to the warehouse in Samut Prakan, I just stopped by to see if my father's subordinates had cleared everything up. I just brought people here and stomped on them, yet he's probably still laying on bed and eating rice porridge. That bastard really annoyed me.
Shorty looked scared. He probably thought that I was going to take him to kill and hide in the forest. At first, he was so loud and unruly in the car, but when I shouted at him, just a little bit, he winced and felt silent. Haha.
When I arrived, I thought of something good. Get sassy with me? Then it's better to have the sasscat close to me. At that time, his face was really funny. I told him, whatever I wanted him to do, he must do it. It was very funny and satisfying. He was probably terrified of me. Heck, it was the price that he dared to mess with people like me.
Having said that, Shorty isn't a coward of any type. But it's probably because he doesn't like having problems. Just by looking at him, you can tell that he's afraid of conflict. How annoying are good-hearted people who are willing to do anything to make others feel good, even though they themselves are being taken advantage of?
I hate people like that. If it were me, huh, in your dream, I would never have agreed to serve someone I don't know.. But he did it. He probably wouldn't offend anyone, or to put it simply, he's the kind of person who doesn't know how to say 'No' to people, even with me who annoyed him in so many ways.
...
That day, I didn't intend to leave him at the mall. Mew and I just spent quite some time reminiscing about our past. When I remembered that he was waiting for me, his silly face popped in my head. I hurriedly raced my car back until other cars honked at me along the way. Fuck those people! But I knew I wouldn't make it in time because it was already 10:00 p.m. The mall was probably closed. For the first time, I can only hope that he wouldn't be stubborn enough to stay and wait like I ordered him to.
But the next day I found out that he really had been waiting for me for a full four hours.
For the first time, I felt guilty and felt something else stirring inside me.
...
I took him to the boxing camp. I like to practice Muay because I'm bored with the other types of self-defense I've been forced to study since I was a kid, like Taekwondo, Judo and Karate. Plus, one of my hobbies is fighting with people. So I must stay alert and be prepared all the time.
[T/N: wow, such a cool hobby!]
Shorty seemed excited about the new place. During practice, I looked at him playing on his phone. He is a person who shows his emotions on his face and eyes clearly. Sometimes he smiled, sometimes he frowned, and sometimes he laughed as if he found something funny. Just looking at his face is like watching a stage play. It helps to relieve boredom very well.
On the way back, he complained that he was hungry. Even though I shouldn't have been interested, I parked the car and ate noodles with him. I really didn't understand what was going on with myself. The more I looked at Shorty's bland face and round eyes, the more irritated I became.
At that noodle stall, Shorty probably looked at me like I was a clown, but what's wrong if I don't know how to order noodles? I don't think it's strange at all. Hey, I'm actually not a luxurious man, I can eat anything. I live a normal life like my friends around me - it's just that what we consider 'normal' may be different for other people.
I just haven't had the chance to do this, that's all. I've eaten on a roadside stall probably less than three times since I was born, and each time I've had Fang or Beer ordering for me.
As soon as we got the noodles, Shorty added a lot of stuff to his bowl. I was so clumsy. I saw what he put in it and followed along. But just the first bite, oh my gosh, I almost had to spit it out. Even though I didn't put a lot of chili in it, why is it so spicy?
I was afraid that Shorty would know that I can't eat spicy food. Afraid that he would laugh at me again. But although I tried to keep my cool, my body was not cooperating. I felt like my lips were swollen, burning like it was about to burst. I didn't have to look in the mirror to know that it probably had changed to red. I was worried about being teased but he just smiled, so bright that I didn't want him to smile like that for anyone ever again. While I was pondering why I had such crazy thoughts, something unexpected suddenly happened.
He reached out a cold hand and touched my lips to help relieve the spiciness.
I looked into his eyes and our eyes met, round black eyes, clear and pure like crystal balls. I know it's only for a split second but something made me feel like it was longer than that.
And it was he who had been able to compose himself first. He hurriedly pulled his hand back. He looked awkward and nervous. As for me, I could only cough lightly, still feeling the spiciness and stinging on my lips. But the trace of coldness that Shorty just gave me was replaced by a tingling warmth that made me feel good.
[ T/N: How's the ice? Peem felt those ice cubes were colder than normal ice.
azzianna he felt warm from it... hmm, extraordinary ice]
...
Shorty seemed annoyed when he saw me sitting in the pub. All the time he didn't look at my face. His face was bland and sullen. Probably afraid that I would expose his secret. Heh, when I saw that, it made me want to tease him even more so I wagged my eyebrow at him. Of course it worked, his face changed from bland to sour. I had to suppress the corners of my mouth that almost curled into a smile.
All the time sitting in the pub, I admitted that I was secretly looking at Shorty many times for no reason. There were times when our eyes flickered back and forth and there was a strange, annoying feeling that arose in me. Well, I didn't want to analyze what feeling it was because feelings are difficult to control. And I don't like things that I can't control.
They were quite shocked about Tan and Khao Fang. But in the end, the word "friend" made them overlook the little things and accept everything that happened.
I was the same when I first found out. They are my close friends. One is a close friend and the other is both a friend and a brother. And damn, they're both flirtatious, dissolute, playboys, but suddenly they fell in love with each other. But what can I say? One plus one equals two. But if Khao Fang says three, it must be three.
Everyone is jealous of me, saying my life is so damn perfect. I can have whatever I want. Just saying the word and the things I want will be piled up in front of me. Those things might actually satisfy my desires, but it's only temporary, it doesn't truly make me happy at all.
Who knows, though, that I'm just an ordinary man? I can hurt and I cry, like any other person. There were times when I felt like I had nothing at all.
As for love? Huh, I might have had it once. But it was ages ago. So who knows how long it'll be until I get to experience it again.
...
I didn't intend to buy the roses for Shorty. At first, I just felt sorry for the child who had to work late like that, so I helped by buying. That's all.
I hate adults. They're older and more powerful but instead of using their strength to protect weak creatures, those people use their power to take advantage of them - forcing them, cursing them, beating them, and hurting them both physically and mentally. It is even more pitiful when they say they do it out of love. Huh, love? That's so funny.
They do this because they know that children have no chance of fighting, even though they themselves have been through the same childhood. People are so eager to take the chance to dominate when it presents itself.
I hate the world that is cruel to children. They are human beings who still can't help themselves. It's the age when they should receive protection and care from the people who cause them to be born into this crappy world. They should receive love and warmth, not be abandoned to face the world alone.
Even though I didn't have to work and didn't have difficulties like that child, I know how painful it is to be abandoned by the person who's supposed to embrace us, and it's been etched in my heart ever since.
So I bought the roses. When that child misunderstood that me and Shorty were lovers, I didn't correct him, but what infuriated me was why I didn't feel dissatisfied. When I handed the handful of red roses to Shorty, his round eyes blinked and looked at me without understanding. His face was so confused that I felt like I wasn't acting right. When I pretended to throw a rose away, he quickly grabbed them.
Shorty sat and smiled looking at the withered roses in the car all the way home. He didn't know that I was secretly smiling too, and he probably also didn't know that even though I didn't intend to buy this bunch of roses, when I gave it to him, I meant it.
At that moment, I knew something I couldn't control had happened.
That night when I gave Shorty a blanket, I just wanted to tease him. But I clumsily tripped over the table leg and fell on top of him on the sofa. We made eye contact, his round eyes wide with panic. I didn't know how long our eyes locked, but what I did know was that if there wasn't a blanket separating us, he would've probably heard my heart beating strangely. And if he didn't push me away, I wasn't sure that I wouldn't "do something' to him.
The real disaster was that I caught myself smiling. I quickly stopped the smile. I admitted that I must've been confused. But I'm a person who doesn't like to fool myself. No matter how I feel or what I think, I won't lie to myself.
I won't lie to myself that I probably like him.
I really like this short guy.
Even though I'm still not sure which kind of "like" it is.
Well, since he has almost nothing attractive. The appearance is average. He's cute... just a little bit, because of his round eyes. That's what makes him so cute. Hmm, plus those orange lips that like to talk nonsense, speak harsh words, and are good at cursing.
I stood there and looked up at the ceiling, sighing, shaking my head at my fate. I really couldn't find a reason why I like him.
...
What kind of man has such long eyelashes? He lies down and sucks his lips loudly, and he also drools. It's really disgusting. Yee, I stood and looked at his strange sleeping position before deciding to use my foot to nudge him. But damn, he slept like a log.
"Shorty, wake up." I continued to use my foot to nudge him and last night's incident came back to me, making me smile for no reason.
"Shorty, if you don't get up, I'll rape you.*"
It worked. He jumped up and looked at me wide-eyed. He hurriedly walked and staggered to the bathroom, leaving me with a smile on my face when I saw him blush.
I already know what kind of 'like' this is.
[*🙄In chapter 10, Phum said "I'll increase the interest." 🤷♀️]
...
When we went shopping, my intention was to impress him a little, so I secretly went to buy him some clothes. Actually, I wanted to buy something better but in the department store there were no branded shops. But when I came back, I was confused that Shorty was so angry. He yelled at me. He was afraid that I would leave him again.
And that moment made me realize that I will never leave him alone.
Shorty is just a typical guy who doesn't really like the kitchen. I ate the food not because I have a crocodile tongue, but because I could see the look of concentration on his face. The way he grabbed the pans was chaotic but he was so determined to get it done. So I reluctantly shoved the food down my throat. The taste wasn't that bad, but if I could choose, it'd be better not to have it a second time.
[*ลิ้นจระเข้ Crocodile tongue means that there is little concept of delicious or not delicious]
...
On Loy Krathong Day, I wouldn't leave the house if Fang didn't force me. I didn't want to go. I don't like crowds, chaos, or the heat, those things annoy me. I'll get allergy*. I had my name change to Phum because of that allergy*. When I was a child, I was sick, allergic to dust, allergic to air, allergic to shrimp, allergic to chili, allergic to this, allergic to that, allergic to everything. So my Grandma changed my name to do the trick. My actual name was Khao Pan. But damn it, I only used that name for three years.
[*โรคภูมิแพ้ /rok phum phae/ allergy. Phum, you should feel lucky that your Gran didn't choose a weird name for you. The word Phum (ภูมิ) itself means: to be proud, dignified, respectable. It's such a beautiful name. And fortunately, Phum isn't allergic to Peem.]
[T/N: Do you know what does Khao Pan (ข้าวปั้น) mean? Rice ball. So cute ^^]
That day, I brought Mom with me, so there was no chance of walking with Shorty. Mom and I have a good but vague relationship. We were at a point where we're more than friends and even though people may call it 'lovers', Mom is worth more than that. I didn't know what she thought of me because I never asked. I didn't want to know, but I knew that she was okay with our relationship, and that's ok with me as well.
The thing that I was not okay with was seeing Beer wrapping his arms around Shorty's neck. I didn't understand why it made me annoyed. He's my servant. He's my person, even if Beer is a close friend, he has no right to mess with my things.
Seeing Shorty starting at my friend who was singing on stage, as if they were communicating through songs, made me upset. Moments later, I had no idea how I ended up walking there and pulling him away.
Damn it, I wanted to shout out loud: 'Do you like Beer?' But I was too afraid of the answer to dare ask directly.
As for Shorty, he was so frantic in the car that the car almost broke apart. Shorty has a dog's mouth. He's unbeatable at cursing, and even Jay, my Nong Code, is no match for him.
Although it might not be a good idea to drive when I am feeling hot, racing is a part of my life. When speed drives me forward, it helps me to cool down. But I swear, I barely realized it myself that I would get to Wat Arun.
...
It's not unusual for men to like dolls because I also like teddy bears. There's a reason for that. I don't find it strange at all, but in Thailand it seems there's a value that only girls can play with dolls. Therefore, I tried my best not to laugh when I knew that Shorty liked a buffalo doll. Plus that doll's face looked similar to him too - stupid, innocent face, hehe. Не looked pleased when I won the game (Because he will get the prizes), jumped with joy every time a balloon popped. It made me wanted to win even more so that Shorty could get his prize.
As for my prize, it would be his smile. His smile is always so genuine and brilliant that it makes me want to smile every time I see it. Why do you smile at people who treat you badly?
From now on, I will try to be worthy of his smile.
...
"There is something I want. But I don't know if I'll get it or not." He and I exchanged glances. This time I tried to convey my feelings through my eyes for him to know. But damn, Peem kept avoiding my eyes.
"What is it?"
"Um........" It's you.
Peem's krathong (well, I'm not used to calling him by his name) looks ugly. It floated sideways against the strong waves of the Chao Phraya River. But it didn't sink because my krathong was beside it, helping support it. If it's not just my imagination, Peem might like me a bit.
But I didn't dare ask directly. I've never been like this. No matter whom I like, it doesn't take long to get them. Or sometimes I haven't even gotten to do anything yet and they came to offer themself to me. Not that I had never liked somebody before, but even though it was not my first time, I knew this time was different from previous ones. With Peem, I'm just lost.
...
"I'd like to stay at your place ná." He probably didn't know what he was saying.
Peem probably couldn't sleep, he kept tossing and turning. I, myself, couldn't sleep either. How can I close my eyes to sleep when he was lying next to me like this. So I teased him to ease up a bit. He and I had a pillow war until we were tired. He's the size of a puppy but surprisingly strong. I went easy and pretended to let him get some hit in. If I were serious, he'd be dead by now. Hehe. But I didn't know where it went wrong, I fell down on him.
It was like there was some kind of attraction when he and I locked eyes. His eyes were like sparkling crystal balls, like the stars that twinkle in the night sky. My heart is pounding like a greenhorn who sleeps with someone for the first time. Haiz Phum, what the hell are you trembling for? Peem is just a guy with a beautiful smile who smells like fresh milk all around him. That's all.
I only understood the meaning of the word "restraint" when I had to avoid touching his pink lips. Instead, I bent over and whispered foolish words into his ear "Tomorrow don't forget to do the laundry."
But Peem probably didn't know that that night, I secretly kiss him on the forehead.
...
I've met so many people, and had countless girlfriends. Wanna know why? The reason is that I hate loneliness. I'm afraid of being alone. In the end, though, I still feel alone despite surrounded by a lot of people. The only time I don't feel that terrible feeling is when I'm with him, when there's a short guy nearby who makes those silly faces.
In the past I never had to worry about whether or not the other person would reciprocate my feelings or what they thought of me, because I didn't care. But with this stupid guy in front of me - why did I have so many feelings for this person?
Since I had him, I haven't felt lonely.
Since I met him, I haven't had time to look for any other girls.
Being with him, I am myself. Not the Phum who has to pretend to be strong all the time.
Being with him, I smile more.
Since I had him, I tend to laugh a lot even when there's nothing particularly funny.
Peem is just an ordinary man.
I am just an ordinary man.
And if an ordinary man like me happens to like an ordinary man like him, is it so wrong?
End of chapter 17 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Author's note: When our hearts beat to the same rhythm, we'll fall in love with each other. And there's nothing wrong with it.
Translator's note: So this is the Phum's pov that you had been waiting for sooo long 😅. Nong Phum is so cute. I hope Phi Peem won't play hard to get for so long.
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