LEGOLAS

The longer I stayed, the more human I became. I was getting good at ignoring my unfailing elven abilities: for instance, I was oblivious with what the two had been arguing about downstairs, though I could hear their hushed tones and caught a few words. Okay, maybe not completely ignored, but it is a big step, right?

Nina had taught me a lot of things, although it had only been my fourth day. Yesterday, since I am not accustomed to this world, she had labeled bottles for me - from soaps to drinks inside the cold chamber known as refrigerator. Now, she had left me with a small device that plays music on two earpieces.

She left me listening to a song about "milkshake" and "boys to their yard" when Tristan called her downstairs. I was already catching up with the lyrics of the song, when they started arguing, trying so hard for me not to hear. I made myself busy so that I could give the two some privacy, but somehow, my ears rang when Tristan said, "Your Mom is on her way."

I felt myself stiff. Realization dawned me. If Tristan looked like my father, then does that mean his wife would look like my mother?

The possibility haunts me. I have not seen mine in a long time - her face is vague to me; no memory of her had been preserved in Mirkwood because my father refuses to do so. Her death had been the most painful memory he has, and the thought of seeing her would crush him. I do remember, the softness and stillness of her voice. Her voice would lull me back to sleep, creeping into every corners of my dreams; a voice as soft as the ocean's waves, its warm tone crawling up to the depths of my soul. It was her voice that would guide me in the night, when all is dark and the star's are gone, when the winds bring nothing but the cold. Her voice was the only memory I have of her, and I have sworn to the Valar that it would remain recorded into my head and my heart.

"Legolas, are you alright?" I glanced up and saw worried Nina, her arms crossed on her chest. A grin escaped through my lips, attempting to hide the sudden feeling of mourning.

"Of course," I assured.

She sat beside me, and I felt that she is trying to confide something with me. "Listen," she started, "my mom will be arriving in awhile, and you know our situation's a bit complicated right now... Dad and I are wondering if it's okay for you to stay upstairs? She might freak out-"

I cut her off, laughing. "Nina, you don't have to explain yourself. Go and meet your mother."

She stared at me, dumbfounded. I started to feel a little uncomfortable myself when she looked at me with her familiar eyes.

"You know I've been thinking, now that we've established that this world is a doppelgänger of yours, then it is possible that my mother could look like yours, don't you think?" she asked, leaning away, looking over her half opened window, as a gust of wind came by.

"I have thought of that too," I admitted. "But then I know I am not ready to see her."

She frowned. "Why?"

"She died when I was still young. I know very little of her, and it scares me to see her face on someone else, knowing she won't recognize me, her only son."

She keeps quiet, avoiding my gaze, playing with the cords of her ear plugs.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked. She nodded, smiling.

"Why does she not live in your home? She is Tristan's wife, is she not?"

She looked away, and suddenly I wondered if it was a thought that she tried so hard to forget. Maybe it was that one memory that is the reason for the hidden sadness behind her glistening eyes, the frown in her smirking mouth, and the tremble in her firm hands. Maybe it was that one memory she kept on burying, when I look so deep in her eyes.

I started to apologize, but no words came out of my mouth.

"She was," her voice breaking, her hands curled to fists, "but after that one incident, she was too sad, too lonely to look at my father's eyes and not see-" she stopped completely, tears started to fall from her eyes, and I had every reason to give her the only way I know I can comfort her - I nestled her head onto my shoulders and covered her in the warmth of my arms. She sobbed silently onto my shoulders, her hands curled on my shirt. After a while, she pulled away, her eyes red from all the crying, but her smile plastered across her face. She laughed silently.

"Sorry about that," she said.

"No - I am. I am sorry for asking such things. I should have known it was too much for you."

She shook her head, standing up. "Nah. It's okay."

And just then, a knock came and I knew it was time for her.

"Nina, your Mom is here."

She cleared her throat, wiping the last of her tears. "Okay, Dad, I'll be there in a sec."

She rushed to the bathroom, washed her face, changed her shirt, and when she was ready she waved goodbye. She walked slowly to the door, took a deep breath. But before she left, she ran to me and gave me a hug one last time.

"Don't leave while I'm gone, okay?" she whispered. She didn't give me time to answer for she quickly left after that.

I listened for her downstairs, and sure enough, her voice stood out, resilient, full of life and joy. "Mom! I missed you." she said.

"I missed you too, pumpkin." I froze. The urge to see her - it's coming back. I would recognize her voice anywhere.

But I promised Nina. And it's a promise I'm willing to keep.

I drowned myself with music, setting it louder until my eardrums hurt and my heart to beat faster. I stood up from the bed, pacing around the room, trying my best to concentrate. But despite it all I still heard the engine of a car come to life, and slowly, I walked to the window to watch them leave. I saw Nina, hugging her father goodbye, and then I saw her, watching them with a smile.

She is beautiful, my Naneth. Her hair is as golden as my father's, her smile as radiant as Nina's. She stretched out her hand to her, inviting her to come. Nina glanced at her window one last time, only to meet my gaze, she smiled, and finally, they left.

A few moments later, Tristan is at the door, his arms crossed on his chest. "You can come down now. Lunch is served."

At first, we ate in silence. Tristan refuses to meet my gaze, completely ignorant of the burning questions in my eyes. I know somehow he knows I would ask him what had happened. He reminded me more of my father; always stalling, never answering.

"Legolas, I know you've been dying to ask. Go on. I'm ready." His low tones resonated around the room, waking me up from my nosiness, and suddenly I felt embarrassed. This was a hard subject for the both of them - I know I shouldn't ask.

"She looked like my Naneth," I croaked.

"I suppose that meant 'mother' in your tongue?"

I nodded carefully. "Yes. I thought you'd like to know. She died in my younger years."

He sighed; too deep, too heavy. He dropped his fork and massaged his temple with his fingers. "I'm sorry - I should've figured it was also hard for you. You see, Alison - that's her - she left me and Nina two years ago. She made it clear that she'd like to live the rest of her life alone after... I figured it would be too hard for Nina. Losing so much in a very young age... but to my surprise, she took it well. She understood and she was happy for her. But hearing her quiet sobs earlier, in her room, I realized she'd been keeping it all, those weights of pain. And somehow you found a way to take some of it out of her. Something I should have done long ago."

I watched Tristan as he come up with more words to say. My father may have been the stronger person I have known, but seeing this man who carries his face, I realize I am not ready to see him crumble in front of me, just like what Tristan is now. His strong built suddenly looked fragile, as his shoulders shook, his hands curled to fists. He slowly shook his head, a sad laugh escaped through his lips. "I should have known."

"For what it's worth, Tristan, I believe Nina had thought this through and the only reason why she hid it is because of her love for you." I placed a reassuring pat on his shoulder, aware of how mediocre it had been.

He turned his gaze on me, sadness creeping up to his blue orbs, forcing me to realize my mistake. "I'm her father, Legolas. I should be the one protecting her, not the other way around." He sighed. "It turns out, you get to learn from your child, eh? That kid always surprises me with the biggest things. If I could keep her forever, I would."

"Maybe you do." I said.

"In your world, maybe," he countered, gathering up our finished plates. "But for now, I gotta make the most out of it while I still can."

I smiled. It's good to see him back to his old self.

"After I finish with this, I gotta grab some groceries for the party. Wanna come with me?"

"Or lose my chances of seeing my people? Haha. Yes, definitely."

For that, he laughed.

***
"Wow."

The sight of the so called grocery store left me in awe. It was a huge one storey building, with a wide lot reserved for leaving these humans' cars.

The inside was something even better. Rows of endless supplies filled the vast space, hundreds of people roaming around pushing around a "cart", as Tristan would call it. He made me push one, while he push another.

We first went to the aisles of their everyday use: an aisle that smells a lot like the gardens of Mirkwood (turns out, they are all detergent), an aisle filled with the bottles identical inside Nina's room ("Shampoos, conditioners and body wash," Tristan said), boxes of sweet goodies ("Cereals," he said, grabbing about five box), an aisle with colored plastics filled with air and chips ("Nina is addicted to Cheetos. Maybe you'll like some of it too," he grabbed what look like 5 bags of these orange plastics) and finally, he led me to an aisle that smells awfully familiar and intoxicating. Tristan smiled widely, knowing this would be my favorite part of the day.

"Go and smell each jar. Pick anything you want." he said.

My eyes widen, a grin plastered on my mouth. Without hesitation, I searched for the right coffee. I tried looking for the usual coffee Nina made me, but as I stood there in the middle of the aisle, the smell overwhelmed me so much I could pick any and still be addicted to the drink. Instead, I searched for the identical jar Nina usually carries. As soon as I saw one, I heard Tristan laugh behind me, and he proceeded to get two more.

"Okay, now we are done with the dry stuff, now we go to the wet goods." He explained, I remain oblivious to what he said. "I apologize for what are we about to buy - my friends are all meat eaters. This would seem monstrous you."

I looked at him quizzically and he just frowned, and led me to another part of the grocery. Once I caught sight (and smell) I fully understood what he said. Rows of slaughtered meat greeted me. It was a big variety of meat, with different cuts and sizes, grinded or chunks - is that fish?? And chicken?!?!!

"Like I said, it's seems horrible."

I turned to him in horror. "Horrible? This is beastly."

He laughed nervously. "Okaaaay... Why don't you wander for awhile while I shop here?"

I nodded in agreement. "Good idea. If I stay here for another minute I think I might vomit." I sighed. "Humans are really something else. How do you even..." I muttered.

I turn to leave, going back to my favorite aisle and continue sniffing the perfect air.

I was too caught up with the jars before me, that I didn't notice a fellow also scanning the aisle. We bumped to each other, and I muttered an apology, only to be greeted by a warm smile, a familiar smile. He apologized too, and I wonder where I have seen that face... Certainly not from Mirkwood. I try to picture him with longer locks, a bit of a scruff on his chin, I guess? I then imagined him with a taller built. I imagined him towering over me - although that made things worst. He might be smaller than me then...

Yes, he definitely was. I have met a lot of dwarves, and I am pretty sure he was one. Now, who could he be?

"I'm sorry, is there something wrong with my face?" His voice made me come to my senses, and the familiarity of his tone made me think of a couple of decades ago... No it could not be -

"Killian?" Tristan was suddenly behind me, along with all the meat he had shopped for.

"Tristan, hey!" I turned and watch their reunion, taken aback by the fact that Tristan had just enveloped this dwarf in a hug. I have to mentally remind myself that in this world, everything is different.

"Ah, so you've met my nephew," Tristan mentioned, patting me in the back. He raised an eyebrow at me and I reminded myself that I should apologize for my long disappearance, and for that he had to push two carts at once.

"I can definitely see the resemblance," Kili - Killian in this world - commented. I was not able to mutter words - everything that had happened years ago came back to me all of a sudden. Thorin and his company, Smaug, the battle of the five armies, Azog, Bolg... her.

The autumn-haired elleth whose eyes seems to glow, may it be under the glinting sun or the silver casts of the moon. The elleth who had managed to capture every bit of my heart, and yet chooses to let go of it, like a catch she did not want. The elleth whom I would loved to spend my eternity with, and yet chose to leave and wander without a word.

"Tristan!"

And there she was. Tauriel, in all of her strength and beauty. I felt my breath hitch, aware of how graceful she moved towards us, towards me. I have not felt such longing to be close to her until now. Many moons have passed since I last saw her, filled with grief, filled with angst, filled with sadness I know I cannot alter with my mere presence.

And yet, as she gazes over Kili - Killian - there is light, there is joy, there is love.

Love. What a beautiful yet painful thing. I wonder why did it even exist if the only thing it costs me is excruciating pain.

In this world, her fiery hair had been cut short to her shoulders, swaying as she moves. She had worn a yellow sundress that seems to fit her perfectly, blazing and gleaming as if she was the sun itself, with her hair and all. As always, a friendly smile danced on her lips, green eyes that seems to show every piece of her joyful soul, until - she finally saw who I was and everything stopped and she halted and my breathing followed suit and then there was only pure terror, oh yes, she was fearful and her jaw dropped and I looked away. I looked away from her and I felt Tristan became uneasy, shifting his weight quicker than he should.

And then I felt his warm arm on my shoulder, squeezing it a little too much. "Tiffany, this is Legolas. He's my nephew."

I know I would've regretted it sooner or later but I was as stubborn as my father, so I looked up and met her gaze. The haunting fear in her eyes was long gone, instead there was something much worse - sadness. The joy in her was gone, just like that.

We had an exchange of stares. I tried to become the rational one, acting and whatnot. "Nice to meet you... Tiffany." I turned to the now, confused man before me, "And you too, Killian."

Killian smiled, although half of it seemed forced. He turned to his mate, who had her eyes down. He draped an arm on her shoulders, gently massaging them, assuring she was fine.

Tristan cleared his throat. "Listen, Legolas and I really need to go, so I'm gonna make this fast - dinner at my house tomorrow. Nina will call you later and give you the details."

"Sure," Killian answered for the both of them, "We'll be there."

With that being said, Tristan practically pulled me away, waving goodbye to the two. I didn't even had a chance to mutter a farewell, but alas, Tristan and I quickly checked out of the store and left without even turning back.

•••
"Hey," Tristan called, "You okay?"

I looked up to him, who was eating a triangular shaped bread topped with what he called "good stuff", crease his forehead with worry. It would have been a touching moment if only there wasn't a trail of hot sauce left on his cheek. I chuckled but didn't say anything. If he was trying to cheer me up it was definitely working.

"It's about the pizza isn't," he concluded, "The vegetarian flavor is clearly not good stuff at all."

I shook my head. "No, actually the taste is divine."

He rolled his eyes. One check off of my list - seeing my father act like a youngster.

"Then it's the girl. You know her."

I smiled, nodding. "I do."

"Friends?"

"Closest. And yes, just my closest friend."

It took him a while to realize my tone. When he did, his eyes widen.

"Oof. Ouch. Sorry 'bout that."

"It's fine. It's just... it's been a while since I last saw her. And she was grieving, and I can't do anything about it."

He frowned. "Who died?"

"Him. Kili was his name."

He didn't say anything anymore, and I was glad. I didn't want to appear as a lovestruck hormonal youngster in front of a man who looked like my father. He left me with my thoughts as he finished his last pieces of pizza, more hot sauce trailing on his cheeks. It was until we were back home when he noticed - or rather Nina did (who at first frowned for not being invited in our impromptu grocery shopping and pizza party), who laughed until her stomach hurts.

"LEGOLAS!" he called in horror. I joined Nina and laughed, forgetting what happened earlier.

•••
i finished and edited this while im in a bus, on my way to the university. like most of my chapters, this was finished in haste, and so i apologize😅

this was by far the hardest chapter yet and i just 🙃🙃🙃 anyways thank you for all your lovely comments i appreciate it!!!!! gaaah im sorry if this is such a failure.

also the pic is irrelevant but its legolas and i just 😌

and yes im a big legriel fan lol. but i actually love how tragic it seems you know so 😂

dont forget to vote, comment, and share if you liked this fic 💖 happy new year!

christel xx