Why am I in love alone?
Why am I hurting alone?

The bus seat she sat in was lumpy and uncomfortable, and the bus itself smelled like stale potato chips and old sweat. But this crappy bus was the cheapest one that Chaerin could afford, and it was taking her back to Daegu.

When Chaerin left the apartment the previous night, she went straight to the bus station. Unfortunately for her, it was three in the morning, and the first bus to Daegu didn't leave until seven. So she waited. Chaerin sat at that bus depot for four hours, carefully guarding her only suitcase, until a large bus pulled up in front of her and the doors squeaked open. She got on that bus with absolutely no idea as to where she was going.

There was nothing left for her back in Daegu, aside from Grandma Min, but Chaerin couldn't go see her. If she stepped back into that house then Grandma Min would surely call Yoongi and tell him exactly where Chaerin was, and she couldn't let that happen. The reason she left, the reason she walked out was because she desperately hoped it would shock Yoongi out of his stupor, at least enough to help him see that he can't go on like he had been. He couldn't just give up on his dreams because things hadn't been going the way he hoped they would. No matter what he believed in the moment, Min Yoongi was not a person who gave up easily. Chaerin knew that he wasn't done pursuing his music dreams, she just had to make him realize it.

"Welcome to Daegu!" The bus driver yelled in a bored, monotonous tone, startling Chaerin a bit.

She scrambled out of her seat, picked up her little suitcase, and rushed down the aisle of the bus. Chaerin stepped down the steps and stopped.

She had no where to go.

Tears pricked at her eyes as Chaerin thought about the life and the friend she left behind in Seoul. It had not even been twelve full hours and she already missed Yoongi. Perhaps that's what happens when you spend every day of the past eight years with someone, you become attached to them, you start to love them.

As the bus pulled away from the station and Chaerin was trying to hold back her tears, she still didn't know where to go. And then a strange thought popped into her mind. There was one other person in Daegu that she could see, but Chaerin was hesitant. She hadn't seen that woman in over a decade.

But before Chaerin knew what she was doing, she had hailed a cab and given the driver the address. Soon enough the cab pulled up to the gray, concrete building and Chaerin stood in its shadow. It was a horribly imposing building, with barred windows and barbed wire lining the fences. But she supposed that if any building was meant to be intimidating then a prison would be the appropriate choice.

Letting out a weighted sigh, Chaerin gathered the broken remains of her courage and walked through the doors.

ㄴㅇㄱ

"I don't understand this, I don't get any visitors!" The woman practically shouted in annoyance while the guard guided her a bit too roughly towards the meeting tables. She wasn't exactly going along willingly.

"Hey! You're set to get out in three years. Do you really want to delay that further with disorderly conduct charges?" At the guards threat the woman reluctantly calmed.

"That's what I thought," the guard mumbled.

He led the woman further through the room as she kept her eyes on the dirty tile floor. But when they stopped walking and her eyes lifted, the woman froze. It was like she was seeing a ghost.

The girl in front her was grown and looked absolutely beautiful, albeit tired, judging from the dark bags beneath her eyes. This young woman was nothing like the little girl that she had left behind a decade ago. But those rich brown eyes were still the same: wide and beautiful and filled with tears.

"Ch-Chaerin?"

"Hi mom."

Not wasting a single moment, the woman crossed the small space between them and brought her daughter into a back-breaking hug. Tears flooded the woman's eyes, and in that moment she didn't care about the itchy orange jumpsuit she was wearing, because for the first time in a decade her daughter was back in her arms.

"Chaerin," she sobbed. "It's you. It's really you."

Chaerin didn't know what to say. She didn't even know how to act around this woman who was basically a stranger to her. But when her mother's arms came around her, something inside of Chaerin broke and she clung tightly to her mother, crying into her braided hair.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry," her mother's apologies were tripped up by her tears. "I'm sorry I landed myself here. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to raise you and take care of you. Im sorry I wasn't the mother you deserve. I'm just so sorry."

Chaerin's head whipped quickly from side to side on her mother's shoulder. "No, I'm sorry. I know you made some mistakes but you were doing it so we wouldn't starve after dad died, I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner. And I'm sorry that I never visited, but it just hurt too much, and I—"

"No no no," her moms gentle voice quickly cut her off. "You have nothing to be sorry for, you were just a child. I should have been better. I'm the one to blame here."

Calloused yet gentle fingers wiped the tears from Chaerin's cheeks. Her mother held her face in her hands, finally looking at the daughter who she hadn't been able to see grow up. They stayed like that for a while, just taking in the changes that the years have brought. But eventually, when the tears stopped flowing and they sat down at the cold metal table, Chaerin's mother couldn't help but grow curious.

"Chaerin?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

She fiddled with her fingers. "Sure."

"Why did you come here? Why now, after so long?"

Chaerin looked up at her mother with glassy eyes. "Because you're the only thing I have left."

Her mother's warm hands quickly grasped Chaerin's cheeks in an attempt to comfort her. "Oh sweetie," she cooed, "What do you mean? What about that friend your grandmother told me about?"

As the words left her mouth, Chaerin's forehead fell on her moms shoulder and sobs broke racked through her again at the mention of Yoongi.

"He's gone mom, he's gone and it's my fault! I left him. I just left him alone and I hate it! I miss him, mom, he's my best friend and I abandoned him!" Chaerin let all her pain and all her emotions spill out on her mother's comforting shoulder.

"He said he was giving up. He said he was done trying to be a musician because it was useless, but it's not! Yoongi is such a skilled musician and he works with so much passion and diligence, but things have just been so hard lately. He broke his shoulder and he couldn't work or write and that sent him spiraling back into his depression. And I've been killing myself working to pay off the hospital bills and the rent and my own dreams have gone down the drain and I have no idea how to fix it, mom. How do I fix it?" Chaerin sobbed loudly.

"Sweetheart, do you love this Yoongi?" Her mother's gentle voice soothed her as she ran her fingers slowly through Chaerin's hair.

"Of course I do. I love him more than anything in the world." Chaerin sniffled, one of her hands clutching on to the triangular charm that hung on a silver chain around her neck.

"Good," her mother signed in contentment. "I'm glad you do. But sweetie, sometimes even when you love someone, times can get rough and people do things and say things that they don't really mean. And the only thing that can fix it is time. Give your friend time, and take some for yourself, figure out what you want."

"I want Yoongi." The miserable little whimper that left Chaerin's lips sounded so pathetic to her own ears, but it was the truth.

Her mother smiled gently, but Chaerin couldn't see it, she couldn't see past her own tears at the moment.

"What else do you want?" The question made Chaerin lift her head from her mother's shoulder and wipe her puffy eyes.

"I want to be an actress," she mumbled, making the woman across from her smile.

"That's a big dream. But if I know one thing, it's that my daughter doesn't give up on her dreams."

Chaerin rolled her eyes. "It's not like when I was five and my dream was to have a Barbie doll, mom. This is different."

"Well this dream might be a bit more ambitious," he mom chuckled. "But if you work hard there is no doubt in my mind that you'll achieve it."

Chaerin's bottom lip trembled as she looked up at her mother with big, earthy eyes, and a pair identical to her own stared back. Chaerin sniffled. "Do you really think so?"

Her mom nodded, "I really do."

A weak, tiny smile formed on Chaerin's lips. She hadn't expected to ever see her mother again, but she was so damn glad she did.

"And as for this Yoongi boy," her mom took on a slightly sterner tone. "If he loves you as much as you love him, then he will figure himself out and he will fight for your friendship."

Chaerin didn't say anything. Her eyes fell to her lap and her fingers fiddled nervously with the chain of the necklace he'd given her. It was something she did when she missed him a lot, which lately had been all the time.

"What's that?" Her mother's quiet inquiry caught Chaerin's attention.

"Oh um, Yoongi gave it to me on my birthday," she mumbled quietly as her mom took the tiny, silver charm between her fingers and examined it. Chaerin, whose attention was focused on her fingernails, didn't notice the small smile form on her mother's face when she read the inscription on the back.

You are my happiness.
You are my home.

She sighed gently and shut her eyes for a moment. She may not know this boy, but judging from the things her daughter had said and from the beautiful words carved into that necklace, this Yoongi boy loved her daughter a whole lot more than he let on.

"It's beautiful."

For ten years all that Chaerin's mother had wished for, as she sat rotting away in that prison, was to be free. But now, she sincerely hoped that Yoongi and Chaerin would find their way back to each other. Because it seemed like they both had yet to realize what they really meant to one another.