in which Gilbert says goodbye before leaving for college
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«I must, then, repeat continually that we are forever sundered - and yet, while I breathe and think, I must love him»
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September, months after the Spring Ball

The sky was covered in a white mess of clouds. The first days of September were forecasting the upcoming seasonal change and a certain red-haired young woman hated the prospect of the arrival of cold and rainy days.

Change. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert hated that word.

Everything was changing so quickly in her life and she felt somewhat dizzy. Matthew was not here. Diana and Charlie Sloane were courting. College was just a year away. She would have leave Marilla and Green Gables.

And Gilbert Blythe was leaving for college that fine morning. As for her, she would have to stay in Queen's for another year, considering that he was older than her. He had just turned eighteen and he looked so different from the boy who saved her in the woods that day. He had changed, his shoulders were broader, he was taller than ever and although his eyes still had the same boyish glimmering, looked different too, as if they were full of newly-lived experiences.

Soon she will change too. She would have someone to marry — although she had Cole —; she would eventually become a teacher, hopefully. And she would probably have to levar Avonlea at some point. Leave Marilla. Leave Jerry. Diana. Gilbert.

She sat in her bed, probably re-reading some novel and taking notes so that she could take them as an inspiration for her own. She focused on this task, trying to get the image of the boy out of her head — which lately was more and more difficult. Everytime she closed her eyes she could picture him so perfectly, with those bright hazel eyes and his dark curls.

They had shared a great summer overall, almost exactly like the previous one: exchanging books, going apple picking and, her favourite activity: reading poetry and drama outloud. Something had changed, though.

The tension between them was... unbearable.

They were friends, yes. But there was definetely something else there that Anne could not — or did not want to figure out ye.

Gilbert had promised to visit her in Green Gables before leaving that day, but he had not showed up yet. He's probably busy anyway, she said to herself. But the thought of not seeing him again until Christmas created a knot on her throat that would not go away.

Then she heard a knock on her window, and that was when she saw him. Brownish messenger cap, white shirt underneath a beige vest and his sleeves rolled up, thick dark curls and his signature blinding smile — Gilbert Blythe, leaning against the trunk of her dearest Cherry Blossom, with a sly smirk on his face, was watching her cautiously yet amused.

"Gilbert Blythe, what on heck are you doing up there?"

She could have sworn she saw him blush as he bit his lower lip to hide back a smile.

"See how she leans her cheek upon her hand
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!" he quoted dramatically, drawing his hand to his chest. The girl just rolled her eyes in response.

"Romeo and Juliet, uh? Not impressive at all" she says from her bed, covering half of her face with the heavy book she was reading. The boy, eyebrows raised, looked at her as if he was expecting her to continue. She hesitated a bit before doing so. "O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?!"

Gilbert let out a genuine laugh, the kind of laugh only people like Anne were lucky enough to hear. His laughter filled the room and Anne felt as though she was under some magic spell. "To answer your previous question, I'm here because I recall you said you wanted me to come and say goodbye, didn't you?" his head rested casually against the tree. "Well, here I am".

"Normal people use the front door" she said as she approached the window. She was wearing a pastel green dress and her hair was down, a detail that made Gilbert's legs — which where swinging in the air — go terribly weak.

"Since when are we normal?"

She just looked at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Aren't you going to help me in?" he said, offering his arm to her. She took it and pull him inside.

"So" he said, taking a panoramic view of the girl's bedroom. There was a mess of papers in her desk, a pile of books in her night table and some more pieces of papers which the boy presumed must be personal notes lying in her bed. "What are you doing?"

"I was trying to read until a awfully tall and weird bird knocked on my window, distracting me from my thoughts" she said, trying to sound annoyed, although she was clearly glad of his visit.

"Do you find me distracting?" he joked, taking a few steps closer towards her so that their height difference could be more noticeable. Even though Anne was one of the tallest girls of her class, he had grown so much taller than her over the years.

"Rather annoying, actually" she said, narrowing her eyes. "Marilla would kill you if she knew you're here"

"Marilla likes me" he said, matter-of-factly. And it was true. The woman had grown to adore the young man, especially since he had been the biggest support for Anne after Matthew's death, along with Diana. "Besides, I bumped into her down in the field" he added, pointig to the covered in green grass field that could be seen from the window. "She invited me in but I told her I'd rather use the window"

"You're ridiculous, did you know that?"

"So I've been told, Anne-girl, so I've been told" he replied, scratching the back of his neck.

Anne suddenly laughed and he joined, both laughing out loud like the two old friends they were. Their laughter slowly faded away.

Silence.

Tension.

There was a letter in one of her desk's drawers that she desperately wanted to give him.

Shall I give it to him?

His voice filled the silence, startling her off her thoughts.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Anne"

"I'll miss you too" she admited, locking eyes with him. He was looking at her with a soft smile that made her smile back.

"Can I get a goodbye hug?" he asked cautiously. He did not want to be intrusive or inaproppriate.

The girl just wrapped her arms around his figure, resting her head on his chest. They stood like that for a few minutes until he separated from her, giving her a wink of his eye before turning around to leave. He thought it would be easier to just leave like that, without saying anything else.

Once he was about to hop onto the tree again, he took one last turn around to look at her. It would be the last time he would saw her until Christmas and he wanted to keep the image of Anne until they saw each other again. But then he caught a glimpse of a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Anne" he walked back to her. How could he not? There was something almost magnetic about her; he would always, always go back go her.

"Just leave already" she said, covering her face with her hands. "Please"

"Please, don't cry" his voice creacked. "I can't leave if you're crying" He took her hands off her face and then gently touched her chin to make her look at him. "Hey, what is it?"

"I... I just..." she started to say, wiping her tears away. "Nevermind! This is childish and immature from me!"

"Anne, there is nothing wrong with crying" he whispered. "I cry too!"

"You do?" she looked at him, curious at the fact that someone like Gilbert Blythe could cry. Then she remembered the time when she visited him at his house, and how he had cried over his father's death.

"Crying doesn't make you any less brave or strong" he said calmly as he wiped away the last tears off her cheek. "I think of it as something rather cathartic"

"Cathartic?"

"For such a passionate lover of poetry and drama, I find it alarming that you don't know what that means" he said with a sly smirk, trying to annoy her so that she could stop crying. "It means to provide psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions" he added.

"That's..." she said "insteresting, Gil. I'll make sure to use that word!"

"Now, after this cathartic moment, tell me what's wrong" he said, poking her nose with his index finger, which made her giggle.

"I just don't want you to leave again" she said. "I know it's such a selfish thing to say or even think" she added before he could say anything else. "But you were gone for eight months, Gilbert! Then you left again because I was mean to you, and now you have to leave again"

"It's not selfish" Gilbert whispered. "I actually think it's cute" he said, making the girl stop her crying and pushing him lightly.

"I'm not cute!"

"You tell that to yourself, but at least you stopped crying" he beamed at her. "Now, I really have to go" his expression turned a bit more serious, even sadder. "My train leaves in an hour or so"

"Gilbert, wait!" she cried out as she looked for something in her desk's drawers. "Here, take this with you" she held out a green, silky ribbon.

"For me?" he asked as the girl tied the ribbon around the boy's wrist.

"Yes" she smiled at him, now holding his hand. "So that you remember that, even though you're in college and everything... I'm still smarter than you!"

He chuckled, shaking his head lightly and letting go off her hand. "Of course"

He leant towards her to kiss her cheek softly, and then, just like that, Gilbert Blythe was gone.

"See you in Christmas", she whispered.