"We're just going for it, huh?"

I stare up at the house and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

Calum can be irritatingly convincing when he wants to be, and the fact that he managed to fool me and Emmie into coming over for a game night might have been impressive if not for the fact this could all go very wrong.

Emmie turns to me with a determined smile and reaches down to clasp my hand in hers. Even though she has as much reason to be suspicious of tonight's plans, she reassures me with a single touch and reminds me why I love her so much.

"It can't be that bad."

I stare back at her.

"Fine, it could be that bad. But I have faith in us. At least we're not drinking 'cause that could get bad."

Once I take a deep breath, I follow her up the steps to Calum's house, hyper-aware of who awaits us behind those doors. When Calum answers, I'm reminded that I was here two weeks ago. It feels like a lifetime, but the same could be said for the walk from the sidewalk to the door.

"If it isn't my two favorite ladies," he boasts.

A sweet aroma wafts in from the kitchen, followed by the gentle hum of a sizzling pan on the stove. Aside from the fact that Calum is about as useless with cooking as I am and Zachariah is the only other person who will be in attendance tonight, I know it's him because of the sense of euphoria that trickles down my spine. If our sense of smell is what we most associate with memories, take me back to the days of a much-beloved past.

"I picked up some special bubbly for our sober night," Calum croons as he swings a bottle in the air.

Emmie grabs it out of his hands and turns it over so she can read the label. "Sparkling Cider. How scandalous of you."

"Our boy is making kalua pig." He juts his chin in the direction of the kitchen. "And he's testing out his domesticity with a new cheesecake recipe."

"Nice," Emmie remarks, impressed.

He makes his way over to the living room to finish setting up. Emmie moves to join him, but not before sending me a look I read immediately.

I got this.

His back faces me while he finishes cooking. A bowl of chopped-up cabbage waits on the side, and a smaller bowl of Hawaiian sea salt sits beside that. I can't help but laugh at the sight because, as small as a bowl of sea salt might be, there's no way Calum had it before Zachariah showed up.

The sound causes him to glance over his shoulder. Our eyes immediately connect and my body tenses up before I remind myself this is just us. We're working toward rebuilding our friendship.

"That smells good." I pluck at some of the empty boxes of ingredients. "Heard you're making cheesecake."

"Seemed like one of those desserts that impresses everyone but requires little skill."

"I'm sure Cal and I could find a way to screw it up."

He laughs along with me this time. It sounds nice.

"I probably should've checked with you first before agreeing to this." Nervous laughter bubbles out of me as I rub the back of my neck. The uneasiness is prevalent in my voice.

Zachariah distracts himself by tossing the cabbage into the pot. "It's nice to see everyone together again."

Stepping up onto one of the stools, I watch him keep busy with cooking dinner.

"Too bad Jem's not here. I'm sure she would've been a bubbling mess."

It's easy to picture her sitting between everyone, eyes darting back and forth as she tries to keep track of where everyone is in the conversation. She'd eventually blurt out with pride that she's the only one that hasn't slept with anyone else in the group, and then would smack herself on the forehead and apologize, but the rest of us would just laugh because it's nearly impossible to get mad at someone like Jem.

"Have you talked to her since she's been in DC?"

"That's one falling out that has yet to be remedied."

With a final clink of the spoon against the edge of the pot, he places the lid on top to let it simmer. Once done, he turns back to me and leans against the counter next to the stove. It might be me reading too much into it, but his stance is purposeful in providing a cautionary amount of space between us.

"Seems more like a timing thing."

I tilt my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you got the hard ones out of the way, right?" He means him and Emmie. "Not that Jem's easy but she's the easiest to deal with."

"You're not wrong," I concede.

"I'm surprised you haven't tried some romantic gesture like show up at Georgetown to profess your love or something."

I can't help the laugh that bubbles out of me. "If any of my friends deserve that grand of a romantic gesture, it would be her."

Emmie walks into the room then, followed closely behind by Calum. The two of them look strangely at ease considering it's the four of us. It dawns on me that the last time we were all at this house together was when Heather threw a drink in my face.

Good times.

"Hey, Zach."

Her eyes shift quickly towards me and pull away before I can hold them for too long. She gives him a polite smile, even though we can all sense there's something uncertain about it.

"Hey, Em. How have you been?"

She brushes her hair to the side. "Happy to be back. Even though I miss the sixty-degree weather."

Zachariah finally makes his way over to our side and stands next to Calum. "One good thing about Waimea. It gets cold during the winter."

Emmie steps closer to me, gently tugging on my hand out of view from the guys. It's more reassuring than I realize a simple touch can be.

...

"Ok, where the hell is my birth control?"

Emmie picks up her piece, slotting it into her red car and tossing the LIFE tile to the side.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone get three kids in a row," I awe, almost impressed.

Calum and Zachariah, both sitting across from us on the other side of the coffee table, try (and fail) to hide their laughter.

She grumbles and points at the spinner, urging me to take my turn.

"Don't get mad at me because you're extra fertile this game."

Emmie smacks me on the arm while Calum bursts out laughing, raising a fist across the table for me to bump.

"They need to update their game and add the option to abort these things because who in the hell needs this many kids." She crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Also, why does this game make you pay more taxes if you have kids? Shouldn't it be less or something?"

"I think the whole point of the game is to deal with all of the suck-ass shit thrown at you," Calum chides.

"Well, what about her?" Emmie points at me and the excessive amount of cash next to me, as well as the nonexistent children in my car piece. "She's a single doctor raking in cash and living the dream."

I tug on the ends of her hair. "Who knew you'd be the one who'd get too into LIFE?"

"You'd think this was a game of Monopoly," Zachariah adds, amused.

I level a look at him. "Oh, that would be different. Families break up 'cause of that shit."

"I remember. You threatened to kick me out of my own house one time because I forced you to sell two of your hotels to pay me back for landing on one of my properties."

"And I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I turn to Calum. "You too. Don't think us being in your house gives you immunity from the pitfalls of Monopoly."

"That's why we're not playing it."

I spin the wheel and move my piece the allotted amount of spaces which lands me right beside Zachariah. He reaches over to hand me the LIFE tile I'm allowed to collect. Flipping it over, I read the text out loud.

"Save the planet. $50,000."

Zachariah laughs. "Imagine saving the planet and only getting that."

"Speaking of..." Emmie looks across at them with a proud smile on her face. "Did Lex tell you about how we're going to the Capitol to protest the telescope?"

Both of the guys look at me with unreadable expressions. Nothing about our time together thus far would hint at me doing this so I don't blame them.

"Like...you're organizing it?" Calum asks slowly.

I shrug, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. "One of them. I met up with some people online and a group of us have been setting things up."

"Wow."

All three of us look at Zachariah.

He clears his throat, casting his eyes back down to the game board. "That's cool. Cool that you're doing that."

"Thank you." I pause and look back and forth between the two of them. My eyes linger a second longer on the one further away from me. "Do you guys wanna come? I can send you the details."

Calum agrees enthusiastically, already pulling out his phone so he can make sure he gets the info. Zachariah takes a second longer before he pledges his support. When I scroll through my contact list and pull up his name for the first time in a long time, I have to pause.

"This is so cool," Calum boasts as his eyes scan one of the digital flyers. "I'm so proud of you."

I tuck my hair behind my ear and glance downward. "I just felt like I needed to do more with myself, you know? Even if I'm just one person on a small island, it's the least I can do."

Zachariah nods and slides his phone back into his pocket. My eyes catch the message left unread on his phone.

Emmie pulls me away, resting her chin on my shoulder and looking up at me with wide eyes and an even brighter smile. "Always proud to call you my friend. I can't wait to stand beside you."

I look over at Zachariah and our eyes connect for a moment before I eventually turn back to the game.

...

Calum sits on the front steps after we're done with dinner and the game has ended. Moonlight shines down on him, illuminating the red glowing tip of his cigarette he quickly stamps out with his foot.

"You stopped smoking, right?" he asks.

"Not entirely but getting there." I lower to the ground next to him, feeling his warmth radiate in a battle against the late-night heat. "Tonight wasn't that bad."

"It wasn't bad at all." He flicks my leg.

I rest my head against the palm of my hand; the weight of it is heavy from all the running thoughts. "You know me, always over—"

"Overthinking, yeah."

We laugh with each other, alongside each other for years, a friendship very much underappreciated.

"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about but never got around to it." Calum looks over at me, waiting. "We kind of just fizzled out. But when exactly did we stop? I always have a hard time remembering."

He glances out at the street and watches a few cars pass by. The lights of the houses in the neighborhood look like fireflies, flickering on and off.

"I don't remember the exact last time. But I kind of got the hunch I was intruding on something else so I think we just naturally pulled back." He pauses. "I'm not sure if this is what you want to hear right now given, well..."

"Was it that obvious?" I ask, picking up on what he's trying to say.

"Not to everyone. But after I first found out about you two, it wasn't a surprise."

After the first kiss, I remember asking myself a thousand times whether or not this was something I should have seen coming from the beginning. I replayed every memory, dissecting it through a different lens to see if I could pinpoint when it started changing. When I realized that some things can never be mapped out in such simple terms, I stopped asking myself questions that would never be answered.

"I don't think I've ever thanked you for being there through all the bullshit." I face him, my eyes momentarily drifting down as the final red heat escapes from the ashes crushed beneath his shoe. "I know things have been so on and off over the years, but you always welcome us back into your heart without hesitation, even though I'm not sure we deserve it."

Calum quickly shakes his head. "Time is not a deterrent for my love. If you feel it, it's because you deserve it."

I let my head rest against his shoulder for a second in solidarity. "Thank you for tonight. And for turning me away that night. You saved me from."

"One day, Alex, you'll stop allowing yourself to be your own worst enemy. But I'll help you get there, however long it takes."