^Leave- Post Malone
3 Weeks Later|October 1st

"I'll see you on the other side of the stars." -Unknown

I hated funerals.

I mean, who didn't?

It had almost been three weeks now since the Stevens had gotten into a car accident driving back from church service. Almost three weeks since I had caught the bus to the hospital when I got a call from Candice.

Candice hadn't been in the car. The poor girl was out meeting her wedding planner when she received news that her entire family, including her grandparents, had gotten into a major accident.

The family almost never went out of town to go to church. It was only this one time, and look how it cost them.

I looked to my left, to where Bethany's older brother Andrew stood looking down at his shoes. He's nineteen, not that older than me. I remember the first time I went around Bethany's house when we were eleven and seeing him for the first time. He'd been thirteen, practically an adult in my eyes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a major crush on him up until year nine.

To my right, Maddy quietly cries. The sadness in the morning air is crisp and sharp. I hate it.

It is now that I decided to look up at the other guests, all in black. There, stands Mr Stevens, looking reared out and weary. Beside him, holding herself up on crutches wrapped in white flowers, Bethany stares at the casket lowering into the ground with dead eyes.

I wanted to go to my friend, but am held back by the service. Candice, an arm around her youngest sibling, looked equally as detached as she watched their mother being placed into the earth.

Why they waited so long to hold the funeral?

To make the situation that much worse, Alison Stevens was unable to be put to rest until the man driving the truck that drunkenly swerved into they was found. Until then, her body at to be examined and examined before he was eventually found and arrested.

The Steven's little family car had been forced off the side of the road and into a brush. It was a miracle the rest survived the crash.

I was unable to stop staring at my friend of six years, a friend I could have lost. I was unable to do anything but stand and watch.
__________________________
The Next Day|October 2nd

"When the soul suffers too much, it develops a taste for misfortune."
-Unknown

Bethany wasn't at school that Monday. I didn't blame her, of course. Not that she could do much anyway with a broken ankle and understandable aches and pains.

The funeral still being so raw, the day passed in a sluggish blur. I wasn't myself, anyone who bothered to glance my way would see. The same went for both Maddy and Tilly, equally as affected and grieving.

Romain had begun to take me to and from school on his motorbike. He understood what I was going through and thankfully didn't push conversation when I silently hopped onto the back that morning.

Ever since summer, our relationship had gone public. Well, public in school and never beyond. This basically meant my parents did not know and certainly did not know about him coming over on my day off, which just so happened to be Monday.

Walking into the house, Romain put on friends and told me to sit whilst he went and made us a snack. It was moments like this that I questioned if my boyfriend really was the village's notorious bad boy.

I mean, aside from the motorbike, when around me he was as kind as ever. Nothing bad about him, aside his constant innuendos maybe.

"How much have you drank today, Kate?" Romain questioned from the kitchen.

I shrugged, despite him not being able to see me. "I didn't count."

I heard him sigh. "I knew you looked pale. You should really drink more."

I refrained from snapping how it had nothing to do with my hydration and everything to do with my friend's mother dying suddenly.

"How about food?" Romain continued. "What did you eat today?"

Finally, I snapped. "You're not my bloody mother, Romain. I can take care of myself."

Romain walked into the room after that. With him came a horrendous smell that had my stomach rolling and nose scrunching.

It was at this moment I spotted the cheese and pickle sandwich in his hand. Standing, I made no excuses as I ran for the bathroom and threw up the day.

My eyes watered as I hurled and hurled until I couldn't anymore. At some point, Romain had come to keep my hair back and said, "I thought you were over the virus weeks ago?"

"So did I." I whispered, a strong daunting feeling coming over me.

"Do I need to call the doctor-" Romain began.

"I think you should go." I interrupted, quietly. I felt frozen on spot, my stomach churning despite knowing I was done vomiting.

"I can't just leave you on your own Catherine-" Romain tried with a scoff.

"Just go!" I snapped, lifting myself off of the floor. "I don't need you here, Romain. Stop acting like my fucking mother!"

I don't think I'd ever sworn like that before. A look I'd never seen Romain make passed over his face. From the spark of his blue eyes, I knew he was pissed.

"Fine. Be like that." He hissed before storming out of the house.

Running my hands through my hair, I looked into the mirror. I wasn't mad at him. Not exactly. I was scared. Terrified for what was about to happen next.

                                   ••

My parents thought I was going to Maddy's house. It was just another lie to add to the rest.

I took the bus that travelled the opposite direction to Maddy's house, my earphones in as I blindly stared out of the window.

The bus was thankfully empty. There was no one to ask questions I didn't want to answer. There was also no one to hold my hand as I made a decision that could potentially change my life.

My stop was the last stop. It had begun to rain pretty hard as I sprinted through the dark streets until I reached the drug store.

Walking through the isles, I'd never felt more numb. Finally, I reached the one section I'd thought would come later in life.

A woman looking at cough medicine in the same isle as me looked my way. I'd never felt more ashamed than I did when she spotted the pregnancy test and gave me a sad little smile.

The cashier did the same. I supposed I wasn't his first teenage girl buying a pregnancy test for he didn't even bat and eyelash. It didn't stop me from feeling embarrassed, though.

My bus wasn't to come for another twenty minutes. For this reason, I sat on a bench close to the drugstore, only one thing on my mind.

Was I turning into her?

The thought was too horrific to bear.

Is this how she felt?

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream.

If she'd been older, would things have been different?

What would I do? When would I have to make the decision?

What pushed her to make hers?

If I was pregnant, I guess I would just have to wait and see.

••

That night I returned to a sleeping house. I was thankful, as I was unsure to if I'd be able to face my parents, knowing what I had in the bag I held.

The walk to the bathroom was a slow and painful one. In that moment, I wished Romain was with me. I mean, in the end it was his fault too.

Taking a seat on the toilet, I let the first tear fall and the next when I actually peed on the godforsaken stick.

I couldn't look at it. Suddenly, my body seized up and I felt another panic attack come on. The usual question plastered in my head.

Unwanted.
Unloved.
Why else would she leave you?

Hurriedly, I locked the pregnancy test into the cabinet over the sink. Breathing heavily, I caved in on myself and sobbed until I fell asleep.