For the next three days at school, I avoided Luca like the plague and by Friday, I was exhausted from my efforts. Much to my disappointment, he hadn't given up and was using every opportunity to talk to me, although I was giving him the silent treatment.

"Hey," Rainn says as she sits opposite me at our usual lunch table. "You okay?"

I nod and pick up a French fry. I hadn't spoken that much to her since that day in the parking lot and she'd finally noticed. It wasn't even funny that she'd taken three days to notice my absence from her life and I was pissed about it.

I wasn't trying to be unreasonable. I understood the intoxication that accompanied a good relationship and I tried my best not to be hurt whenever she blew me off for Jace, but lately she was so preoccupied with him that she often completely forgot about me and that hurt.

"Are you all packed?" I shake my head. She knew that I wasn't. I hated packing for trips and always waited until the last possible minute. "I was thinking that I should over come tonight and help and then I'd just sleep over and we can come here together in the morning."

I munch on a few more fries while I contemplate her offer. Of course, I needed help to pack, but I'm mad at her and don't want to say yes only to be disappointed when she bails at the last minute. Again.

"That's not necessary." I don't say it with any malice. "My mom can help me pack and I'll just have Finn drop me off in the morning. Thanks though."

She sighs. "B, I'm sorry."

I shrug. It won't be the last apology that I'll get from her about abandoning me.

"That's it?"

I stare at her and although my heart melts at the sad look on her face, I don't give in. "What do you want me to say to that? It's an endless cycle of the same apology. You ditch me for a few days and then say that you're sorry and I forgive you and then a week later, it's on repeat." I push my tray away. "I'm over it. I'm over this."

She recoils like I've just slapped her, and tears pool in her eyes. "Do you want me to choose between you two?"

"Of course not. I'd never ask that of you."

A tear falls. "Then are you choosing for me? I feel as though you are and that it's not you."

I feel like an ass for making her cry, but I don't know how to stop. "I'm not. I just think that we should give each other space for a few days."

"No." She says it angrily and wipes her tears away. "We don't need space, B. You're my best friend, you can't just abandon me."

"Like you've done me?"

A silent minute passes between us and I almost apologize.

"Woah, what's going on here?" Jace asks, coming towards our table. He sits beside Rainn and pulls her into his arms. "What's the matter, babe?"

Picking up my tray, I leave the table without another word, pissed that we couldn't even have a fight without Jace hovering nearby.

On my way to the trash can, I pass Luca. He gently grabs me by the arm. "You okay?"

Shrugging him off, I walk away. What's it to him?

I walk down the mostly silent hallway and duck into the girl's washroom. I splash some cold water onto my face and sigh at the sad girl staring back at me. I didn't want to leave things with Rainn up in the air like that and I certainly hadn't meant to make her cry, but I'd done both and I would've gone back there and fixed it if it wasn't for Jace being there. He was so suffocating and neither of them realized how unhealthy it was that they spent so much time together.

Instead of going to my next class when the bell rings, I collect my stuff from my locker and leave. I doubt that my teachers will care since it's the day before our Senior trip and most of them hadn't even bothered to show up to our morning classes.

My phone rings when I'm almost home and I ignore it. If it's the school, it's too late and I'm too tired to make the trip back on foot, so fuck it. And if it's my friends, they'll get over it.

I tried my hand at packing while I waited for my mind to calm the fuck down. I was angry and hurt and confused all at the same time and I didn't want to think about it, so I packed.

"Whoa. Look at you," my mom says, leaning against my open door. "I take it that you no longer need my help?"

I shake my head. "This packing stuff is a piece of cake." It actually wasn't. It had taken me the rest of the afternoon to decide exactly what packing for a week's trip entailed and what I could do without.

"I'll be the judge of that." She comes over and scrutinizes my work, occasionally trading one piece of clothing for another. "Rainn called. She wants me to ask you to call her back. Everything okay with you guys?"

Dammit, Rainn! I try to keep my parents out of all the drama in my life and she knows that. Sneaky. "Just forgot that I was supposed to call." I fake a smile. "Where's Dad?"

"He should be home soon." She's still giving me her weird 'I'm worried about you' look that I've grown to hate, because it means that she won't stop prying anytime soon.

I zip up my suitcase and lug it to the door. "Okay, that's enough of you," I tell her. "See you at dinner."

She rolls her eyes, knowing that I'm only joking. "Fine."

I sigh heavily for dramatic effect as she's leaving and even shut the door, which is something that I rarely do, unless I'm getting dressed or about to go to bed.

When I'm alone, I grab my phone and call Rainn. I've got several bones to pick with that girl.

"Okay, I'm sorry about the whole 'calling your mom' thing," she says as soon as she picks up. "But I didn't know what else to do, except maybe come over."

"I asked for space, Rainn. This isn't giving me space. And I'm blocking your number from my mom's phone."

She groans. "We don't need space, B. What we need is to have an honest conversation without resorting to yelling."

"Well that option's out the window."

She doesn't laugh. "I thought you liked Jace. Why are you acting like this?"

"I do like him... when he's not suffocating me. He's everywhere that we are. And even when he's not there physically, you're on the phone with him or you're talking about him and it makes me want to cut my ears off."

"Wow, B. That's harsh."

I gather the piles of clothing that were left on the bed and begin sorting them. "No. You know what's harsh? I've lost my best friend because she has an unhealthy attachment to a boy and doesn't even realize it. I mean, really, Rainn, how can you not see how bad it's gotten between you two?"

"I—"

"When was the last time that either of you hung out with someone else? I haven't had any one-on-one time with you in over two months, except for a few minutes here and there in school and I don't know about his friends, but that's weird, Rainn."

"You don't understand, B."

Through with sorting the piles, I pack them away. "Understand what?"

"You don't understand what this kind of love is like," she mumbles. "You've never been in love, so of course you'd call it unhealthy. I thought you'd be more understanding. Now, I don't even know why I ever did."

She's not entirely wrong. It's true that I don't understand the obsessive kind of love that they have, but I have been in love before. It just broke my so bad that I never bothered looking for it again with anyone else.

"I've tried to be understanding!" I practically yell, not bothering to correct her. "But this shit is ridiculous. Let me ask you something, if you were to sleep over, how exactly were we going to get to the school?"

"Well, Jace of course, but that doesn't—"

"See? Why can't you drive? Why can't it just be us girls? And why on earth would you think that I'd be okay with being in the same car with you and Jace for even a second?"

"If my relationship bothers you so much, how come you've never said anything till now?" She sounds upset and that's ridiculous.

"Because I was giving you guys time to get over the infatuation phase! Seriously, it doesn't take that long to snap back to reality."

"I don't know what you want me to say, B, but I won't compromise my relationship with a great guy, just because you can't seem to get your head out of your ass long enough to stop acting like such a jealous—" She stops there, and I almost wish she'd continued her rant. "Look, I'm sorry that it bothers you to see us so in love, but I can't just give that up. Not for you. You're supposed to the one by my side no matter what and you want to bail just because you can't deal. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard and frankly, it hurts a lot."

I hear my mom calling and I just want to hang up in Rainn's face because she's pissing me off that much. There's so much that I want to address, but I also don't feel like continuing the conversation. "Okay," is all I say as I make my way down the stairs.

Rainn scoffs. "Are you being for real, right now? That's all you have to say. Really?"

"Space, Rainn. Give me some." And then I hang up. And damn it feels good.

My euphoria lasts until I spot Luca already seated at the table. I hated his stupid face even more in that second.

"You okay?" He whispers as I sit beside him because it's where I usually sit, and I wasn't about to change it because of him.

I ignore him.

"Blaise, come on, quit acting like I don't exist."

That gets my attention and I turn to face him. "But you had no problem acting like I didn't, for three fucking years, Luca. Just because you've suddenly decided that it's okay for us to be cool again, doesn't mean that we can be, alright?"

He just sighs as my family strolls in, save for my brother.

"Where's your other kid?" I ask as my dad passes the food around. It's spaghetti night.

"Somewhere or the other," he says with a smile that only he can perfect.

"And you're not worried? Like at all?" I wasn't either, except that he was my ride to school on Saturday and now I was probably going to have to take a taxi because my parents always sleep in on the weekends and I haven't bugged them in years about stuff like this. Ugh.

My mother laughs. "No. Why? Are you? Wait, is this because he's supposed to take you to school?"

Luca perks up beside me at the notion that I was stranded, and I couldn't deal with it. "Yeah," I mumble. "I'll just call a cab."

She laughs again and this time my head jerks up. She's being weird, which always means that she's hiding something. It's so comical. People become parents and they turn into the worst liars, like they erase all those teenaged memories of freaking lying to their own parents on a daily just to survive.

"You're acting weird. Stop it." I twist my fork around the pasta and point my finger accusingly at her. "Seriously, spill it or quit it."

She wipes her mouth with a napkin and smiles at me. "Well, Finn actually called earlier, said you weren't answering your phone." She shakes her head at me. "I've told you a million times to check your missed calls and your missed messages because you'll never know if it's an emergency and by the time you actually get around to it, it'll be too late."

I almost roll my eyes, but don't. I don't need another lecture before she gets done with this one. "Sorry."

"It's okay, but next time, just check. It can't possibly hurt to know."

It could. It could cause me a tremendous headache because for the past year most of my missed messages were from Luca and I hadn't opened a single one, I usually just deleted them and I'm pretty sure that in an emergency, I'd be the very last person that he or anyone else for that matter, would call. It's not rocket science.

"Mom, can you please get on with the story? So, Finn called and then what?"

"Oh, right." She exhales and looks between me and Luca and I get a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. "He said that he won't be home this weekend, and that he's asked Luca here, and he said it was okay if you rode with him."

I groaned. Actually groaned. "I'll call a cab."

"No, you won't." Luca's voice takes on a hard edge. "It's a fifteen-minute drive. It won't kill you."

It might, but I didn't want to fight anymore. It won't matter anyway, because my mom has her mind made up for whatever it is that she has on her agenda for me and Luca. "Fine," I say. "I'll go with you." And then because I'm not completely without social graces, I add, "Thank you."

The rest of dinner is uneventful and only mildly unbearable since Luca is unusually quiet. For a second I wonder if it has anything to do with our mini argument, but I don't care enough to dwell on it.

"Hon, walk Luca out." My mom says it in a way that leaves no room for argument and I glare at her. "Don't look at me like that. Go now."

I grit my teeth and follow Luca who doesn't even bother to wait for me. I stand awkwardly off to the side while he laces his sneakers up and wonder why the hell its taking him so long.

"See you at 6?"

I nod and open the door. I know that I'm being rude by not talking to him, but after years of radio silence, it's going to take a miracle for me to willingly subject myself to a conversation with him.

He steps out and says, "See you," before turning and going next door.

I shut the door and retreat to my room. Luca texts me as soon as I hit my bed and I groan. I don't know what more to do to make it clear that we will never have that kind of friendship again. He sends three more messages in the next ten minutes and I delete the thread without reading any of them. There was no point.

It's cruel and I probably should just block him, but where's the fun it that? I'd much rather him know that I'm getting all his shit and just ignoring him. Besides, if it hurts that bad, he'll just stop trying, right? Right.

"Hon, Luca says to please look out your window," my mom calls from down the hall.

I groan. "Tell him I'm sleeping."

A minute later, she appears in my doorway. "Just look outside. I'm not your messenger service."

"I don't want to talk to him. Why are you forcing this?" I couldn't believe her. She was there for all the initial heartache that came with losing Luca all those years ago and knew just how heavy a toll it had taken. Losing him was like losing my best friend and my first love all in one.

She gives me a pained smile. "I'm sorry, I just thought that since he's been trying so hard, that it couldn't hurt to give him another chance."

"Then you talk to him." I turn my back to her and hug my pillow. "Kindly shut my door when you leave."

I hear her sigh and then the soft click of the door closing.

There were some things that me and my mom would never agree on and Luca was one of them. She's under the impression that since our "disagreement" as she calls it, was so long ago and we're not kids anymore, it should be a no brainer, us being friends again. She's said as much every freaking time that she's invited him over in the past month and a half and we've had this particular fight way too many times since then.