50. THE BODYGUARD

SO UM, I LITERALLY ALWAYS say that I have never read clichés and that I have read only one to specifically write that chapter, but I'm pretty sure I have read a few of these. I probably just don't remember them because they're so utterly boring they make my nose bleed.

Then again, my nose has actually been bleeding a lot lately and I'm convinced it's because of stress. But anyways.

These stories are about some rich girl, as are most Wattpad stories. Some Kylie Jenner type hoe that's hella rich and her Dad stacks mad coins. And she's pretty and goes to private school.

Smh I want that life.

But apparently, her Dad makes these coinz illegally and she needs protection because her Dad is mad Yakuza or something and her life has been threatened. Despite the fact that she has been alive for what I'm assuming is 17+ years (typically characters in clichés are teens) and they could have attacked her at any given time, they choose when she is a teen. Where she is slightly smarter than she was when she was a kid (let's be honest, most girls in clichés have peas for brains so they're not very smart) and has a sliver of common sense.

Because that plan sounds totally full-proof, hitmen kidnappers!

.. Sarcasm. Obviously sarcasm.

So for some reason, instead of her Dad doing the logical thing by calling the police and putting her in a protection program or hiring professional bodyguards, he throws all logic out the window and decides to hire some teen gang members. Mind you, these teen gang members are typically apart of his gang and are dangerous. Mind you, he is knowingly putting his Daughter in the hands of teen drug dealers and killers.

Yeah. Are these fuckers even trained in anything except Gang-banging or what is this a free for all? Like some Purge type shit? Because straight no.

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that this "multi-million dollar business" her Dad is running is almost always a drug cartel. Because normal rich parents don't exist anymore and everyone makes money off of drugs now and no one has real jobs.

So her Dad hires about 3 or 4 bodyguards, and these teeny-boppers have to be the rudest cunts ever, which btw I'll never understand because you're getting paid to watch over this girl like ik that doesn't require being nice but I would at least try to be civil with the cunt who pays my bills.

These teeny-boppers end up having to go to school with her, and from then on, the main teeny-bopper (the rudest one of the bunch, the one she almost always chooses) is introduced and is more cunty than the rest.

And he happens to be more cuntier than cunt. That's the one you know is gonna get the girl in the end. You're welcome I just helped you figure out the main character of any Wattpad cliché.

As always, I forgot to mention that our MC has this macho-man boyfriend who is also smart, cute, rich, and the captain of the football team. Basically, he is the cream of the crop and cant stand to see his girlfriend hanging out with "trash".

Which is kinda stupid because bitch youre a man you should know about your girlfriend and her issues and you should be protecting her and shit smh. Jesus fix it because you know he will.

So yeah for some reason she ends up falling in love with the cuntier cunt and forces this love triangle of the cuntier cunt always fighting the jock-strap over her. All the while he is lowkey protecting her.

Hm, this concept sounds extra familiar eheheh. BUT ANYWAYS.

Btw where the fuck are the other dudes that were supposed to be protecting her because honestly throughout the whole story they pop up like once or twice, which brings us back to previous clichés discussed about the dudes that are in this supposed squad but never show up.

I wish I got fictionally paid to be in 0.5% of the book I'm jealous.

Then you guys know the whole ordeal with her being kidnapped (despite the fact that you forget the plot was even about her running from the Mafia for her Dad because of all the petty high school bullshit) and ransom and him coming to save her.

Which is also mega fucking corny like apparently the people that kidnapped her are of Yakuza like caliber so you're not gonna beat them with a few shotguns and you're definitely not gonna leave unscathed.

But you guys know clichés and the consistent bullshit.

Also, why didn't they call the police? I mean I understand that the first thing that pops up in your head when you see/hear of someone getting kidnapped is to help them, especially with someone you like, but goddamn there's about four of these teeny-bopper mob boys so why doesn't one of them consider to at least call her Dad or idk, tHE FUCKING COPS.

Tragic.

Another thing, the corny ass confession. They usually officially confess to each other like right after all that shit happens and it's the worst timing ever. Like bitch you have saved my life or I just saved yours can we at least hold off on the confession for about a week jeez I'm overwhelmed and I'm only reading the story.

FINAL THING, why can't her Dad take fucking responsibility and pay back the debts he owes to these gangs or whatever he has going on? Like ik I should have talked about this earlier in the chapter but it's so late at night I forgot to care. But I cannot stand the stories where the Dad is dealing with the Russian Mafia and gets his daughter involved and all-of-a-sudden believes it's every man for herself(?).

But aren't the drug cartel people a.. drug family? Smh. "You're in good hands" my ass. This ain't Allstate apparently.

Anyways, if you see some girl walking around with bodyguards that are young-looking and cute.. I mean ig I wouldn't fuck with them because they may have skills but idk do something it's Cliché.

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.. okay but have you guys seen SHINee's teaser pictures like idgaf what anybody says idgaf if there are still comebacks that will occur this year and more teasers because these teaser pictures are the best ive ever seen in my life. and im a sucker for teaser pictures. i plan to stan SHINee after this comeback mhm its gonna happen. i will also be stanning monsta x if thats okay with the people. i mean idc if it isnt but okay.

YALL

YALL

YALL

stop playin with me SM. the first one is my favorite i love it so much oml watch when people make lockscreens of these teasers because its going down. and thats just the group pictures you guys jUST LOOK AT THE INDIVIDUAL PICTURES WOW. IM SHOOK