43. I CANT THINK OF A WITTY/SNAZZY TITLE

I RECENTLY READ THIS book (it's not on Wattpad) called To All The Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han. It's a really good book, and I would definitely recommend it to people who like YA books and things of that sort.

You know, I should be paid every time I mention a work in this book and give them positive reviews. Or I should be sued. Not that I'm asking to be sued pls don't tell anyone about these.

It's about this girl named Lara Jean who writes letters to boys she's loved after she stopped liking them (or when she wants to stop liking them) and she never mails them because what idiot would?. Well, all of a sudden, these letters mysteriously get mailed out without her consent, and she enlists the help of this guy named Peter Kavinsky to act as her fake boyfriend so that all the boys that received a letter can believe that she has gotten over them.

I mean, she has gotten over them, but whatever.

Anyways, so I was reading this book and I suddenly realized something:

This fake relationship concept is actually pretty popular on Wattpad. Of course, we will have that one bad apple that will say that they've never seen this cliché, but you most certainly have I promise. You just didn't know it.

Another thing: I should be paid every time I expand you guys' minds to new things. Like you should pay me when you start listening to groups based on my recommendations or watch shows based on my recommendation. @Radish pAY ME TO RANT CUNTS.

But, because I read this story and thought about Wattpad, I am writing this chapter. So let's get started.

These stories typically involve a girl who's just been broken up with by a guy. Or he cheated on her - basically, this bitch has been dropped like a hot potato by someone she likes and she is all depressed or whatever.

Personally, if this would happen to me, it would be on to the next lmfao. I'm honestly not the type of girl who just pines over a dude who doesn't like me or whatever. Plus I don't open myself up to guys enough for me to be hurt so bE CAUTIOUS WITH YOUR HEARTS GUYS BC FUCKBOYS ARE EVERYWHERE #TipsWithMackenzie

Anyways, because idk what the hell I was talking about.

So she calls herself going on a revenge spree by getting with some dude who is better than her ex just to make him jealous. Though, for some reason, she doesn't understand that this dude obviously doesn't want you so he obviously wouldn't care if you got with another dude.

BUT WAIT! He would care. Not because he likes her; because for her revenge plot, she decides to get with his most hated enemy. And, I mean, this is totally logical to me.

I am possibly the Queen of Petty. I will literally be petty over a bag of damn chips. So, I do understand why she would get with his enemy because legit me. Gotta hit him where it hurts.

Because the BB knows that the girl(she's not really a good girl to me) was dating his enemy and that she is his ex, he of course agrees to fake date her. Who wouldn't - this is a chance to make your enemy's skin crawl.

So they fake date or whatever, and ofc the Ex-Fuckboy is disturbed by this. So he decides that he wants to intervene at every point possible and it's honestly so annoying. Like you broke up with her because you didn't like her or whatever so why even care?

And he is such a damn idiot, one of the other reasons I don't like him. I mean, your ex getting together with your enemy right after you guys broke up obviously isn't a goddamn coincidence. They're obviously together to get under your skin and instead of not giving them the attention they want, yOU GO AND GIVE THEM THE ATTENTION THEY WANT IDIOT.

I always shake my head when I read Wattpad stories, like what if I snap my neck or something.

So the BB and the girl start fake dating or whatever, and it's inevitable that they will get close because they have to be together all the time practically to make the faćade work. They hang out get close, whatever.

AND THEN IT TURNS INTO THE FUCKBOY CHAPTER AND YOURE LIKE WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT STUPID SENPAI.

Then she remembers that they're only faking so there's no use in getting tricked by his fake kisses and hugs, but she doesn't know that he's lowkey feeling attraction.

SHE RANDOMLY DECIDES THAT SHE DOESNT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN AND-

omg i just heard about the bts masturbation thing on twitter im laughing so hard

- SHE DECIDES TO BREAK UP WITH HIM. Which I can kind of understand, but why doesn't she be smart for once and she can ask him if he likes her fr and he will say whatever and that will determine if they date or not.

No, she just decides to make moves on her own and it's honestly so irritating lmfao she only thinks about her own selfish feelings and no one else's I cannot understand the idiocy.

Then for about three chapters she mopes around her house or cries in her room because she finally realizes that she doesn't want to lose him or see him with another girl, but ofc that happens.

She finds him with her enemy (bASICALLY DOING WHAT SHE DID TO HER EX LMFAO I AM LIVING FOR THE PETTINESS) or just another random girl, and she gets mad and makes a big scene and starts crying and runs away.

I CAN LITERALLY TOLERATE HER UNTIL THIS POINT. Like are you kidding bitch you literally dropped him and told him to end it so you have no right to cry you stupid figlet. I cannot find it in me to feel sympathy for her because of her idiocy.

I wish I can feel sympathy for idiots but I'm completely in-tolerate of them.

BUT THEN HE FINDS HER AND FORCES HER TO ADMIT THAT SHE LIKES HIM EVENTUALLY THEY KISS AND GET TOGETHER OR WHATEVER.

Sans the Ex-Fuckboy because who gives a shit about fuckboys honestly. Plus he barely makes up 20% of the book anyways. He's basically the training wheels for an expert cyclist.

Unneeded.

She's obviously the person riding the bike(the BB) because she eventually ends up riding his dick anyways so ahaha.

If you see these types of fake relationships going on at school, and it's obviously fake, first of all, slam their heads into the lockers and run because we run from the police-

*cough* I mean. It's cliché. Don't run from the Police.

-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY S.COUPS YOU SERIOUS BEAN YOU SMOL BEAN YOU LOVELY BEAN

*me still believing that i'll one day meet seventeen*

I GET ASKED THE REASON IM READING AFTER LIKE TEN TIMES A DAY LEGIT SHEJSJSJEJ

first of all, ofc i gotta prove all the bitches who said i judged after before reading it wrong. people alwaayss complain about me lowkey throwing shade at the book without me knowing anything about the book (thats debatable) or reading it. so ofc im gonna read the book and officially tell you guys what i think about it. so thats coming obviously.

plus, i literally laugh so hard when im reading dirty scenes and you guys flip lmfao

definitely expect the longest author's note ever when i finish that book