22. BLONDES OBVIOUSLY DO IT BETTER

FOR ME TO CATCH MY CHILL, I'm going to need some of the brunettes of this website to stop acting like they never get any cameo in these Wattpad books, as if they are the ones constantly being portrayed as sluts and not good girls.

LikE I REMEMBER READING A COMMENT ABOUT BRUNETTES ALWAYS BEING THE GOOD GIRLS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRULY COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LITTLE SHITS.

So are you saying that you'd rather be called tramps and sluts for being blonde? Oh, would you rather be happily strolling through the comments and see one saying "blondes are always sluts" or "blondes are idiots" are you kidding, that's so freaking offensive.

Honestly, I can deal with it because you're gonna need to say more than "blondes are stupid which basically makes you stupid because you're a blonde MackenziE" to piss me off. But there are other people who really get hurt by things like that and I have to defend my blondies against the cold world of brunettes.

Can we stop labeling a whole group based on a few people who subdue theirselves to the stereotype? That's like saying all brunettes are boring virgins. Maybe some brunettes are fun-

aHA.

Let's face it, I'm about to call out a lot of brunettes because y'all hoes try to feel victimized but no one's buying your act sorry.

So, here I am again, elaborating on character appearances and not their personalities (which is why this part is significantly different to "Slut Shaming and Shit"). Enjoy.

THE GOOD GIRL:

I'm gonna call it how I see it: Most of Wattpad's good girls are brunettes with "mud brown eyes" that are supposedly ugly (I personally think brown eyes are a grace from God), or they're Chloe Grace Moretz - she'd look better brunette anyways so let's just say she's an undercover brunette.

My problem with this is the fact that these girls literally call themselves ugly throughout the whole book while consistently boosting their egos. Like I can understand if you called yourself ugly maybe once or twice because I do it all the dang time are you joking.

BUT IF EVERY OTHER WORD INCLUDES THE FACT THAT YOU ARE UGLY OR HIDEOUS OR BODY TYPE BLAH BLAH BLAH. I've literally come to the point where I seriously don't care if these girls in clichés think they're ugly.

If you think you're ugly, dO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? Glo up! I'm not saying you have to buy Anastasia Beverly Hills palettes or Too Faced or expensive highlighters or anything like that. I'm just saying, stop moping around and complaining about your ugliness if you hate makeup or think it's "unnatural".

Then they claim to have very small boobs and petite bodies or whatever. Always.

Can we at least get a fEW girls with something on their bones please. Like I understand that some people may be naturally skinny but not everyone is freaking skinny so..

w h e r e a r e t h e t h i c k g i r l s.

Oh, good girls.

THE BAD BOY:

Wind-tossed, disheveled, gelled mess.

Confused? I'm describing Wattpad boys and their hair.

Does anyone realize that Wattpad's bad boys literally always look the same with their hair? Like it's always wild and things like that or something crazy like a middle part.

Boys nowadays wear tons of crazy hairstyles and this is something I can add onto it. I would never let my son go out with his hair everywhere are you joking.

I would maybe even prefer a man bun. We know how I hate man buns. -.-

Not only their hair, but they also always look like greek gods or whatever but in actuality they are played by Francisco, River, Sean, or Lucky Blue..

..

I mean, they're cute but I'm not sure about greek gods. But this topic is for another chapter.

Then the "chocolate brown eyes that you can get lost in" or something like that. What the hell. Are his eyeballs a tunnel how can you get lost in his eyes.

You get lost in huge parking lots, not someone's eyes. This whole thing is freaking dumb honestly.

THEN THEY ALWAYS HAVE THE NICEST BODIES AND BICEPS AND WTF. THEY ARE FREAKING RIPPED. DOES ANY HIGH SCHOOL BOY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE THIS PLEASE HMU DADDY.

But seriously, I literally knew no guys in High School with eight packs. Unless they tried to flex really hard, but that was basically ribs #TaylorCan(t)n(l)if(t).

Can we get boys that aren't effortlessly ripped? WhERE ARE OUR JASPER JORDANS??

So tired of this topic.

THE "SLUT":

Not all hoes are blonde. Stop categorizing us just because of Taylor Swift.

Most of the time, the sluts have blonde hair and blue eyes and huge tits and "butt pads" like what the hell. No.

Why you gotta do this to these girls. Why.

Then the authors add "big tits" in the description as if it matters. Poor girl can't control her tits don't blame her for it. Jeez. I don't even think you can get a breast reduction if you're under 18.

THEN THEY GET CRITICIZE FOR WEARING MAKEUP ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING.

At least these girls know how to wear makeup, because the GG just throws on some makeup and doesn't blend or anything. And I know maybe she did but it unnerves me. AND WHEN THE MAKEUP GETS PUT ON IN WEIRD ORDERS-

How can we insult the "sluts" for cakeface but we can't insult the beauty gurus that liTERALLY DO MAKEUP CHALLENGES OF ALL LIPSTICKS OR SOMETHING IDEK.

Can we also stop acting like she puts on this makeup for a dude. Maybe they make it look like that, but when I wake up and beat this face, it is not to impress some dude lets not get that twisted.

Why does she have to have blonde hair and blue eyes? All the time?? EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME. Find a story with a brunette-slut and I will paypal you money.

WHY TARNISH OUR NAMES LIKE THAT. WHY RUIN OUR REPUTATIONS )): GEEZ I HATE THIS SO MUCH IT PISSES ME OFF.

BUT IM GONNA END THIS AND HOPEFULLY I CAN CALM DOWN.

If you ever see someone get generalized because of the way they look please buy them lunch and take them to Sephora because I can use that rn and I want it for someone else. Plus that's cliche.

-

YOO IF YOU'RE WATCHING SUMMER ANIME WHICH ONES ARE YOU WATCHING/PLANNING TO WATCH? OVAS AND SHORTS AND MOVIES INCLUDED. I have so many, like legit six. im gonna write them all down and their update schedules.

MOST OF THEM LEGIT UPDATE ON SATURDAYS ARE YOU KIDDING MY SATURDAYS WILL BE FREAKING PACKED FOR THE NEXT 12+ WEEKS!!

This isn't directed towards all brunettes, because some are pretty nice and don't act like bitches. This is for any girl that's ever commented on a Wattpad story saying "thank god the girl is finally brunette" like what fucking books have you been reading evERY GIRL IS PLAYED BY BARBARA PALVIN. A BRUNETTE. STOP IT.

Now, I'm not generalizing all brunettes by saying this. I'm just saying some brunettes really need to chill with that okay. SOME. LET US ALL TAKE THE CHILL OF THE PILL.

sickness and periods and fourth of july and coke and excessive ariana grande do not mix. i dont recommend. but all great things i guess.