19. HAND ME DOWNS

I FEEL LIKE I ADDRESSED the bad boy a lot of times, but it was brought to my attention that I never addressed the players - and they're just as overrated as the bad boy cliche. How shameful, Daddy Mac.

So it basically goes like this 100% of the time:

The dude is basically a major fuckboy who sleeps with every girl in the school, or is seen with a new one every week and is a total manwhore and the MC talks shit about him for the first ten minutes of the book.

.. Okay.

SO SOME WEIRD SHIT HAPPENS LIKE THEY BUMP INTO EACH OTHER (Well technically she bumps into a "brick wall" but whatever) AND SHE IS LIKE UGH MOVE WITH HER BITCHY ASS ATTITUDE AND HE BECOMES INTERESTED.

.. Now I'm like what the fuck.

Idc if I was a dude and this girl was a.. girl. Some bitch is not gonna sit here and catch an attitude because I accidentally bumped into her like if I chose to bump into a girl it wouldn't be your boring ass anyway. Staahp it.

The next day, he finds her and then they have this majorly funny chasing scene (ahaha so fucking funny -.-) with his gang of wild boars and he finds her and picks her up and throws her over his shoulder (ahah so hot) and takes her to an abandoned classroom.

And n o o n e has a problem with this and sees this as funny. I would at least try to help the poor girl like jeez she's getting man-handled and chased down like she stole his drugs or something. What is really the issue??

Then, the infamous "Let's Play a Game" cliche where he wants to see who would fall in love first. Who in their right mind would do something so stupid and immature? I would not have time to waste wondering when you're gonna fall in love with me bc it's inevitable to be honest have you met me? I am queen of queens.

Plus he probably slept with the entire school so he's just hand me downs. WHO WANTS HAND-ME-DOWNS? Because that's what fuckboys are. Bitch blame yourself when this dude passes you an STD.

They start the game. Annoying teasing and pointless dates and water fights and stolen lowkey kisses and annoyingness and me wanting to kill someone because I'm already bored of them..

This is where the lovey-dovey comes in.

Typically, he realizes that he is in love first, so he tries to play it off all cool and shit and tries to act like he totally isn't dazzled by her and she is oblivious to his hints because she is a fucking idiot.

Then she falls in love and it's just awkward for me because they are awkward and stuff.

Then they confess their love to each other and it's all "AW"s and you gotta admit that it's cute during a first kiss because all the butterflies and amazingness and yeah. Wonder-filled.

Then they have sex. Well, not all the time but in some cases it happens and it's weird because sex scenes are so unrealistic that it makes me laugh sometimes. Well, some are good I guess.

THIS IS WHERE I GET MAAAADD.

HE IS ASHAMED THAT HE FELL IN LOVE SO QUICKLY BECAUSE HE JUST REMEMBERED THE GAME AND HE THROWS IT IN HER FACE BY REMINDING HER THAT ITS A GAME WTF.

BUT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!

HE DOES THIS AFTER THEY HAVE FREAKING SEX OR THEY KISS OR CONFESS OR SOMETHING AND I GET SO PISSED OFF.

And the girls are just going after the guy like honestly? This dude just played with your heart are you insane, it would be on to the next for me. I'm not gonna cry for a dude, ever. Well, a fuckboy anyway. Guys are so temporary and there are so many finer guys out there soo??

Plus that would have been the perfect time for the glo up. Show your ex what he's missing girl!

Next thing you know, he is with a new girl the next day, rubbing their relationship in MCs face and making her "depressed" and whatever and she just nEGLECTS to come to school for a month or two because of a dude. Wow. Okay.

HE PRETENDS TO BE WORRIED, GOES TO HER HOUSE (because he is a creep and knows where she lives despite never being to her house miraculously) AND FINDS HER ALL SAD AND LOOKING PALE AND HE GETS MAD AND THROWS HER OVER HIS SHOULDER AGAIN (again, so hot) AND DRIVES HER SOMEWHERE. Her parents are completely fine with this stranger in her house by the way, fan fucking tastic.

She's crying and hysterical wondering wtf is happening (this is completely justified btw, no sarcasm) and he is driving like an idiot and yelling at her for basically moping around and neglecting school- hold up.

I'm going to be the calmest I can be when I say this.

Basically, this dude led her on and had sex with her and broke her heart, right? She doesn't come to school(which I personally feel is also stupid but just wait), so he goes over to her house and takes her away, acting like he cares. Basically rubbing salt and lemon all over the wound.

But he is yelling at her. Okay.

*deep breath* SO ANYWAYS.

He drives her to a mountain range or something and pulls her out of the car (because you know, he assumes that she is starving herself and decides that she is malnourished) and pushes her up against it.

Screaming match. Nice. I'm reading a fight. Even nicer.

MC Girl: "WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE ANYWAYS RYDER GOSH YOU FUCKING FIGLET"

Player: "BECAUSE I LOOOOVEE YOU"

Perpetual silence. So basically you did all that avoiding and sleeping with others girls to prove a point, but you decide not to go along with it? Wow.

THEN HE EXPLAINS AND THEY KISS AND BORINGNESS I FORGOT TO CARE AND THE STORY ENDS WITH:

"By the way, I didn't come to school because my Uncle died."

..

..

..!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING

AM I BEING PUNKED

I REALLY EXPECT ASHTON KUTCHER TO POP OUT WHEN I READ THESE TYPES OF STORIES. I LOOK UNDER MY BED AND EVERYTHING. IN THE DAMN CLOSET AND SHIT.

THEN THEY GIGGLE AND LAUGH IT OFF. I am so done with this rant and these stories honestly I don't know where I can put myself. Maybe in an incinerator or in a burning house.

But yeah, if you see a fuckboy, fuck him up. He is cliche and annoying and sTUPID BUT FUCK HER UP TOO BECAUSE "I didn't come to school because my Uncle died hehe" KYS. THEY'RE CLICHE.

--

IM COWRITING A BOOK IM SO EXCITED
i tried it once before but the other person and i were always so busy and things idek so we are trying this lets hope i do not fail.

i like this method of which i rant now. have you noticed that now instead of randomly stating what i hate, i go through how the stories typically go and point out the stupid shit within them? i feel like that also identifies little cliches and things and i like it so yeah ((:

i think i feel a sore throat coming on so i may not update for a few days bc sore throat means sickness for me.