So, let's explore the world of Coupledom (by the way, I just googled and realized it's a real word- turns out I'm smart :P)

First, question—Are you married? Are you simply taken? Do you have a significant other that irritates you to no end but you refuse to let go of because you love them too much? Well if you answered yes, let's explore if you're in an actual relationship.

WELCOME TO COUPLES THERAPY - WHAT MAKES IT WORK?

There are about three common aspects that make a couple work (THIS IS NOT PROVEN BUT MY OWN OPINION) and they are:

1) Love- but this obvious.

2) Common interests- something many people forget to explore.

3) Compatibility- ahem, the hardest one to find. But what does it truly mean?

So COMMON INTERESTS - What are common interests? Most people just think that it means things like enjoying the same genre of movies, or liking the same TV shows. Liking to ride a bike at sunset, or even laying down in the grass and staring at the sky—but it goes deeper than that. It's more than just liking material things, it's about having a deeper appreciation for the same things, and no it is not the same as deeply appreciating greys anatomy.

Things like reasoning and rationality. It's about like-mindedness. By this I mean, you both have a common interest when it comes to animals. Why you both like cats, or why you both like dogs. Well, in my relationship, it's not just we both like dogs. We like dogs because of what these animals are, how they interact with us, the things they do and what we are able to do with them. And that's a lot different than just saying, Oh, I like dogs because they're fun.

We both understand the fact that animals like dogs are just like people. They feel emotion, they get lonely, they understand our moods—where most cats are dicks (sorry cat lovers). We appreciate dogs for a certain reason. Not just because they know how to catch a ball, and they have wagging tails.

In the past, when I was single and could date whoever I wanted, I had a nice number of boyfriends. One of them(s)had dogs. I remember asking him one time if he spends time with them. What are their names? Does he walk them? (some of you are thinking his latent response is animal abuse but I come from a different place with different rules, so chill) Does he like them?

Well, his response was no - to all questions, and "I don't know" to their names. He said that they were just there to guard, and that they were dumb animals.

Now, I can't begin to describe how much that hurt me. It was like I was second guessing the entire relationship all because of that one statement. I mean, where I come from, most people see dogs primarily, in that way, and that's fine. But for me, to be with me, for us to share something other than lust and liking Poker, I needed him to care about animals. I needed him to have the same appreciation I did for them. (I ranted but don't I always)

And let me break down the TV show bit, because I know some people are like 'No- we love all the same things-' well it's more than that like I said. You can like the same TV shows, but why? Is it because it's the so-called hottest thing out right now and everyone is watching it? Is it because there's a really good actress in there? Or because the storyline is taut with vulgarity and apparent adult like things?

Well, if you're in a relationship with someone just because you guys met at a mixer and started talking about The Flash, and realized you both like the show, guess what—you're not in a relationship. 100 million other people watch the flash and love it too -- one of those is my ten-year-old sister.

There was one day, I was on the train minding my own business and listening to music—now this is way before I started writing, but I remember it well because I remember how awkward things got. There were two women, co-workers, who entered the train together. I only looked over at them because they were really loud- laughing and so on. I realized after, that it was because they were talking about a TV show.

Now, I'm not saying that this is a relationship, but I want you to look at what I'm about to say and really think about it.

They talked, a lot, about this show Parks and Recreation, but all they were doing was talking about the show, nothing else. No work, family, nothing, just the show. And I stayed tuned in because I figured hey- this sounds interesting, but I never actually watched it- regardless, when they were done discussing the new episode, the train got quiet. Like I mean silence except for the woman whose voice on the L train announces the next stop and tells us to beware of suspicious packages.

So can you point out why it got quiet?

Simple—they had nothing else to discuss. The rest of the time, I just watched them sit there playing on their phones, and not a word was spoken until we got to their stop and the brunette said, "Oh we're here."

Now apply that to a relationship, but add the factor of good looks, lust and basically overall attraction. There's nothing there. There's no real relationship.

So what's the lesson I probably just failed to teach you?

Don't be superficial, don't be generic. That's not what makes them work. In fact, from my own experience, it's better if you can discuss things that aren't just common. You should be weird, discuss why you think boogers are green. Talk about syfy movies that only show at 2 ambecause they suck. Have a common interest other than what's common. In a relationship, you should be able to like things that aren't at the top of the charts. And if you can apply that trait to things like Food, music, Fashion and books, then I'd like to tell you—you have a really great working relationship.

It's what makes them work. Having common interests that aren't actually common.

(I wonder if any of that made any sense)

NEXT- COMPATABILITY—Well, isn't this a tough one. Your compatibility with a person should never depend on what astrological sign you're born under, or what your fortune cookie said, or even the fact that you just have common interests (see how that ties in) It should be something that connects you with a mutual goal. Your morals and ethics and the way you want to live.

If you're a partier, and the person you've chosen to date goes to church twice a week and volunteers at a soup kitchen—chances are you're not compatible.

Why? Extremely simple. You have a path defining conflict that stems from not having the same morals and ethical practices.

Now I'm not saying that if you like going to parties and drinking excessively, that you don't have good morals and a proper upbringing, I'm simply saying that it's different from other people. I've watched relationships on a personal level go to crap because even if they found the other person attractive, and they could talk about the same weird things, they didn't share the same or a similar way of thinking.

It's hard to make something work, when one person is all about getting a steady job, getting married and then planning a future with kids. While the other person, would like to lay in bed all weekend, work part time because Video games are awesome and hates the prospect of taking care of children. The two things don't work.

To be compatible, you should be able to find a balance between the two of you. Even if you're opposites when it comes to ethical habits, social practices and so on, you should be able to compromise on distinct practices without feeling that the other person is suppressing who you are.

For example; two people who have been together since high school. Common interests—acting, writing, basketball, magic—and cooking. They clearly love each other since it's been six years and they haven't broken up. But things are rocky because, after six years, they're hanging on for love. Not for the things that they want in life. In fact, they're so opposite in their goals and morals, that they can't actually start a life.

One seems to value going out, partying, and hanging with friends. While the other values bills, family, yoga and living the right way (this can be perceived different ways). Those things can all actually go together, but when you have two people who are set in their own ways but love each other, you end up miserable.

A relationship like that can't work, sometimes even with the compromise, so think about that carefully before you just decide that it—being compromise—is the answer to all your problems.

ALSO- love doesn't conquer all, it's just a phrase they use in movies to make the hero sound cool!

You have to want the same things and want to live the same way to enjoy being with someone and being in their life.

My own personal example—ahem—I know this guy. He's super sweet, I've always liked him, we've known each other for years, and he always comes to see me when he's in town. However, when it comes down to it, I want someone who actually wants their own life and that's why I stopped dating him.

What do I mean by that?

He's the type of person that's all about me, what I want, where I want to go, and what I want to accomplish in life. If I don't like something  — he will literally drop kick it out of his life. Now, this is where some people, women especially, get it wrong. You should never want to be with someone who is simply reliant on your life for a life. It may seem awesome and perfect but after a while you end up miserable because there is no difference or variation in your life. There is no compromise, or conflict (note well I didn't say path defining conflict).

My mother would love for me and this guy to be together — not gonna happen. Because she sees all the things that we all perceive the perfect guy to be, but he's not my definition of perfect. We aren't compatible. How do I know that? Our morals, ethics, and goals are my morals, ethics, and goals. And that is not the same as saying that we share the same or similar thoughts. I swear it's not.

Be warned — I am about to contradict everything I just said.

You do not want someone who blindly agrees with you, because believe it or not — a life like that is boring. I've been through it. A little conflict is good. A little disagreement is helpful. A little debate is necessary.

Love, common interests, and compatibility. That's what makes a relationship works. It's what makes a couple work. And not just a couple, even a group of friends. (Yeah, I just said that) It's the reason why you can have the same friends for years and never get tired of them. Sheena726, Boabee19, JosieClaus, KimberlyC20, NicoleWhiteman0 (and others who aren't on wattpad) and myself. Have all been best friends for almost 10 years. And even if we argue sometimes, and fight, at the end of the day, they're the first ones I think about. I love them, we have the same goals, morals, and ethics, and we surprisingly share the same common interests. And that is what matters.

Now – I just went on this super long rampage to say this one thing. When you're thinking about what to buy for your significant other this Valentine's Day, it should be super easy. You shouldn't be sending yourself mad trying to think about what they want because you should know them just as well as you know yourself. And if you don't—you might wanna reevaluate your relationship.

Thanks for sticking with me through this terrible rant, and I promise that next month I'll try to understand adding Gifs more.

Peace, love, and compatibility. ~Teace

BTW, IF I OFFENDED ANYONE- SO SORRY