Jisoo's POV

Two weeks, three? It took me that long to recover. Recover from the pain of being betrayed. I stopped spacing out, stopped crying myself to sleep.

I stopped thinking that the world will stop if he wasn't with me.

Relatively speaking, that was the shortest recovery span that I had with anything related to Yoongi.

The last one took me forever. I can't say I'm finally okay but I can say that I'm at least able to pull myself together.

And then fast forward, it's now more than a year after the whole fiasco inside our dorm, of us, suddenly learning that one of our members are secretly married for roughly two years, of finding out that Yoongi knew all that but he didn't bother telling me... Of him meeting my boss only for the end result to be bad as we both expected, of him telling me that we simply give in...

Everything...

I just felt like, everything just fell apart. I almost died when a car almost hit me after that time he went to our agency to talk to our boss.

It took me long agonizing weeks to finally adjust and accept the truth that Chaeyoung had been married to Jimin for God knows how long.

To say that it was a shock for us was an understatement. Their relationship had been a whole lot of merry-go-round, but the rides are not all fun though.

In all honesty, I wasn't mad that she was married. God, even I know that I don't have the right to question their decision. It's a family matter and I respect that.

It's just that, for two years, we were clueless. She had been through a lot.

We could have been there to help her when she's struggling. We were always here but it's different if we knew they were actually married.

I could have broken Jimin's limbs after that Seulgi incident.

I could have broken every bone in Jimin's body every time he made our Chaeyoung cried.

Above all that, I asked Chaeyoung a very impossible request and she still complied even though it's basically absurd.

But the fact that only Yoongi knows hurt me the most.

And I understood. After realizing that Yoongi knew their relationship, it was easy for me to put two and two together.

Yoongi's decisions could have been affected by their relationship too. It's no problem. He cares for Jimin like how I care for Chaeyoung.

But then again, I asked him. I asked him if there is something that I need to know but he didn't falter.

If he just told me there is something but he can't disclose, for now, I'd understand. But he didn't.

Is it wrong for me to feel hurt after all that has happened?

Am I not entitled to know even just a quarter of what's happening?

Truth be told, it wasn't just about Chaeyoung's relationship. It's about everything. He always chose to let things go his way.

I love my members and I love Yoongi but all these that are happening, it's draining me. The hurt I'm feeling inside is starting to consume me.

There's nothing left to Jisoo. All the happiness, the hope that I have within me, they're slowly getting off my grasp.

I'm starting to lose myself.

Until I get my shit together.

Seeing how crazy Chaeyoung's year had been, it knocked the sense out of me.

She had been through a lot. The Chaeyoung of Twice incident, and even that MC. It was exhausting and I admire Chaeyoung for being able to get through all that.

It could have killed me if it was me.

After all that has happened, my view over things turned into a hundred eighty degrees.

I started to see other things in an even more positive light. That there are a lot of things that I should be thankful for. That my world shouldn't simply revolve around hin.

The downside of this is that I still get to see him from time to time which makes it so hard for me to move on.

Things between us had been so awkward. We stopped talking. We stopped associating ourselves with each other.

We stopped loving.

Or maybe he did.

Because I would be lying if I say I'm over him. I won't be over Min Yoongi.

Heck, I don't even think it's possible for me to see myself with someone else except with him.

And here we are, with another obstacle before us that involves the married couple.

"Chaey..." I called for her name, her gaze shifting on my direction immediately.

"Ne?" she answered and I frown.

"You're binge-watching again. You will hurt your eyes, silly," I muttered before plopping my body just beside where she was seated. I grab a handful of popcorn from the bowl that was on her side before popping a few in my mouth.

Even without me looking, I was sure she raised her eyebrows in my direction, even pausing what she was watching.

"What?" I muttered, a little awkward to have this kind of conversation with her. My eyes snapped towards our side, her phone beeping.

Yoongi oppa 😊

My heart ached a little at the sight of the name who texted her.

I don't even remember the last time we exchanged messages. I know him and Chaeyoung are almost the best of friends.

And who am I?  His ex.

Just his ex.

My eyes closed for a moment, all the pain I had kept for so long suddenly coming back to me.

No Jisoo. Keep calm.

I let out a breath to calm my nerves.

Yoongi, I'm sure he's being protective of Chaeyoung. After the outburst Chaeyoung had with Jimin, I understood why Yoongi kept contact. He had been the closest Chaeyoung ever had with Bangtan.

I tilted my head a little to keep my focus.

"You do realize that you'll need to talk with Jimin eventually right?" I told her. I knew she needed time but at her condition, she needs to be calm and focus too.

"Says the girl who keeps on avoiding his ex, huh?" a smirked emerged on her beautiful face and I ended up grinning.

Bull's eye.

My eyes landed on her. I can't help but think about her future, her future with us.

"If Yoongi oppa asked you to be with him right this instant, will you leave us Blackpink behind?"

I was taken aback for a moment. The question she suddenly asked slowly sinking into my mind. In an instant, my gaze landed back to the television.

And we were both left with silence.

Will I leave them?

Will I let go of the dreams I never knew I wanted until I've learned to love it?

"It hurts." her voice cracked.

I know she's trying not to cry, trying to be strong.

"I know," I responded.

I know.

"When Yoongi decided to drop me like I was nothing,  I felt my world crumbling down before me," I started, the indifference in my voice can be heard.

"He left me like I was nothing."

"Unnie," she grabbed my hands, worry laced on her voice.

"So yeah,  I guess Yoongi did the same to me." I tried to laugh but my throat feels like hurting. I know any moment, I will breakdown, yet again.

"The truth is,  I felt apologetic towards you," I added and the tears I had been keeping now streaming down my cheeks.

"I never really apologized for what I did in the past,  how I asked you to stop communicating with Jimin. I was selfish and even though you can say No to me,  you still followed because you cared."

I wipe the tears on my cheeks.

"We were never there when you were having a hard time alone. We,  your friends didn't even notice how you were struggling by yourself. And even now, you're still about to face a greater obstacle in your life." I told her and she let out a sigh.

"You are a strong woman Chaeyoung. Remember, the girls and your family will always be with you. And regardless of what your decision or how you face this phase of your life,  don't forget the Blackpink got your back." I smiled at her and she did the same.

"But are you ready to live your life without Jimin?" I asked.

I know she's confused and a lot of thoughts are clouding in her mind.

"I don't know." she whispered. "I mean, would that even matter now if he actually can live without me?"

I pouted. "You know Jimin loves you,  right?"

"I know. But I think he doesn't love me enough for him to stay with me right now." she said, and I felt the pain she's been keeping.

"So are you telling me that you're ready to let Jimin go?" I asked her, my eyes bearing hers.

Her mouth mummed in silence unable to answer my question.

We were silent for a good five minutes and I can't help but laugh a little.

"Just look at how ironic things can be. I broke up with Yoongi and there's this possibility of you breaking up with Jimin. But then, there's Jennie who has Taehyung on her tails while Lisa is out there to God knows where pestering the life out of Bangtan's golden maknae." I stated and even Chaeypung smiled.

"It seems like our group is constantly being drawn towards them,  huh?" I added.

"I don't even know if that's funny or what but you're actually right." she agreed.

And then I saw the light on her phone flicker, another message coming in.

This time,  it was not the same person, but the name of the person I know she's dying to see.

And I'm dying just the same.