Everything was going too well. It was only a matter of time before things started to fall apart. There are rumors about Build and his girlfriend and writer, Poi, that have serious repercussions for their careers, KinnPorsche, and BOC. It's even caused Mile and Apo to fight. Mile has been taught to always believe women. Apo has had bad experiences with women stabbing him in the back after he rejected them; he was automatically defensive of Build.

What BOC has could've changed the game, if not for this scandal. Mile knows that if BOC doesn't disassociate with Build, it will never recover. Mile is unfeeling when it comes to business; he has Build fired from the company in cold blood.

Meanwhile, Jeff is talking about wanting to move on to bigger things. Pain throws Mile's heart to the ground. On an intellectual level, he knows he isn't responsible for all of this. It has nothing to do with him. But it is in his nature to blame himself. He should have been paying more attention; instead, he was distracted by Apo.

Mile is venting about it all to the only person who could ever understand it all, when Apo hands him a book.

"I got this for you."

"A cat encyclopedia." Mile smiles, accepting the proffered gift. "Thanks, Po."

Apo twists his hands behind his back, rocking back and forth on his toes.

"You'd better read it."

"Absolutely." Mile is used to doing things he has no interest in doing for Apo's sake. Mile always lets Apo win at rock-paper-scissors. Apo picks scissors; Mile picks paper. Apo looks so gorgeous and sexy when he wins; it's hard not to give in. And, yes, Mile reads wrist-thick encyclopedias about animals he's not crazy about - for Apo.

"But not now. Try my cocktail."

"Is it ready?"

Apo takes a sip, and purses his lips.

"What is that taste? Did the lime go bad?"

Mile would like to kiss that pout. "Needs a little something extra. Can't remember what I used to add in New York..." He adds a touch of this and a touch of that and finally seems to be satisfied with the result. He gives some to Mile to try.

"Very good, my American," Mile praises. "Make me another one."

Mile used to listen to rain sounds and ambient music to fall asleep. Now he lies in bed with a sleep mask on and listens to Apo wander around the apartment, to the little sound effects that come out of his mouth, to his sweet singing voice and his childish laugh as he talks to himself in the mirror, playing dress-up. Mile could listen to him forever.

Mile is in the middle of teaching Apo guitar when his PR team sends him a message that essentially equates to: we need to talk.

•••

"So here's what we have." His PR manager spreads her hands across the table. "Long calls involving the color of your underwear and romantic confessions in low voices. Serenading with romantic songs. Brazen, unabashed flirting on social media. A plethora of, uh, phallic jokes. You called him baby on stage, outside the act. You...share...beds? Unnecessarily?"

She removes her glasses slowly. "All of this is now public domain." A crease appears between her brows. "Are you interested in men, Mile?" She cocks her head. "Is that what this is? If your intention is to pronounce yourselves married, we can talk about that angle. Just let your team know. But otherwise..." She spreads her hands, palms up. "Help us out here, Mile."

Mile, sitting opposite her, stares stonily ahead without responding. He knows he hasn't made their jobs easy. But he doesn't want to live a life where he can't be his authentic self, shackled by rules and obligations.

Behind his manager, the team sits arrayed in grim silence.

His manager shuts her eyes and breaths deeply through her nose. "Just one girl."

"No," is Mile's emphatic reply.

"Sir-"

"No."

"It would just be rumors. We'd-"

"No."

"It would be harmless, sir-"

"I said no," Mile snaps fiercely. It would not be harmless. Seeing someone else while he and Apo have this thing going on - whatever it is - would be extremely unfair to the other person. "I didn't just...fall off a turnip truck one day and suddenly become the most famous man in Thailand the next. I was born into this empire. I know what I'm doing. Your concern is duly noted - and appreciated, really. But I'm not going to start any false rumors for the sake of my image."

"Your image- sir. Look. Here is my Twitter feed." She taps madly on her phone. "MileApo living together? MileApo buying a house
together? Apo post a pic today drinking with Mile's glass cup. Apo at Mile's place? MileApo bought pillows together, for their joint house or for Mile? MileApo following home interior decor accounts on
IG? Mile ordered two rings for index finger but different size? Mile heard asking Apo during Gangnam Live hot mic moment, 'should we buy one for the office?' Are you two planning your marriage or are you just playing house?"

Mile massages his temples.

"I've always been the subject of rumors. Leave it alone."

"They're saying things about Apo, too, sir. They're saying..." His manager swallows. She had expected a firm no, and now balks at the opportunity to finish her sentence. "They're saying, uh, that... if you would only stop wasting your seed up Apo's, um, rear, Kalasin would have an heir by now. Sir." She shuts her eyes firmly.

The room is so silent that the click of Mile's jaw sounds like gunfire.

"Get out," he says softly.

Nobody moves. "GET OUT! NOW!"

Everyone is instantly scrambling, falling over themselves to do his bidding.

Mile is left alone in the empty meeting room, mind roiling with an endless reel of thoughts. Thailand hasn't changed much from when he was young. It's still a homophobic country that lives off of gay BL series.

If Apo falls in love with him, Mile will never tell the world. The world tends to ruin beautiful things. Let it be their little secret. No one has to know what they do.

His hands are still trembling when Apo texts him.

Have you read the book? :)

Poor, sweet Apo and his cats, still so clueless about the adult world. Mile wishes his own heart were that innocent and naive.

Not yet. I promise I'll read it before the end of the week.

Mile buries his head in his hands.

•••

Mile is in Paris for Dior Men's Winter 2023-2024, without Apo. Management's idea. But Apo is supportive, posting three different times to his Instagram story to gush about Mile's Dior collab - not unlike the way Mile turned his Twitter into an Apo stan account when Apo was in Taipei. Solo events are harder, but they support each other through the individual growth.

Mile stumbles on a store called Husbands, and instantly snaps a picture to send to Apo.

What are you trying to say, Phakphum?

Mile finds himself wondering if there is a name for people like them, more than friends, less than boyfriends, two people who care deeply about each other without labels. What do they tag that?

Nothing. It's just a cool store.

Mhmm, is Apo's reply, followed by a flurry of hearts.

He knows.

Mile and Apo do a livestream before the New Year's event, Mile joining from Paris. It's practically expected at this point that he wear something revealing. Apo, being Apo, takes the bait every time, and murmurs an appreciative, "so handsome."

Apo has his makeup done already, and is wearing red. Red is his color.

Mile loves cute but he prefers sexy. And Apo at his Chinese New Years event is all kinds of sexually frustrating for Mile.

Mile usually keeps it generic and noncommittal on social media. He had started commenting back on Apo's posts with "oh"s and "ugh"s - because even his good breeding is no match for Apo's bad influence - but for the most part, he doesn't comment at all. That way, he won't say the wrong thing and rouse suspicion. But today...

Mile leaps out of bed as though it were a hot bed of coals when he sees the post in his feed. Holy shit. No. He shouldn't. He's been doing so well. But he can't not comment this time.

The picture is hot. Mile wants to tattoo it on his forehead.

Apo needs to be encouraged to wear red more often. But what will his PR team say? He breaks his silence and starts typing a comment, backspaces, reconsiders, almost throws his phone down, then settles on "very cool."

Then he switches to their private messenger.

Here's what I need you to do, he types to Apo. Find somewhere where you can be alone...

•••

Mile's phone rings, Man Poomchai flashing on the screen.

"'Sup, bro?"

"So what's it like seeing a pretty woman on the arm of your man?"

Mile blinks, opens his mouth, then closes and opens it again.

"He's not... We're just friends."

"Mhmm. Remember when Apo couldn't do a simple push-up and had to do a down dog to stretch his back while you watched and gulped your saliva during the Gangnam live? Yeah, everyone saw that."

"Shut up."

"I'm not blaming you. He is literally, like, the most attractive Asian male. Isn't that little factoid on billboards somewhere? Not to mention Miss Universe Thailand's dream guy. That's gotta be pretty validating for you."

It's true that Apo could have anyone. Anyone. After being clueless the entire time she was flirting with him, Apo turned her down. Mile knows he's good-looking enough, but he's no Miss Universe. If they weren't brought together by KinnPorsche, he's not sure that Apo would give him the time of day.

"We're friends-"

"With that sexual tension? Good luck to your friendship."

"He's like a brother to me-"

"More like a distant cousin who turns you on."

"-and she only shared that rejection story to chase clout because he was becoming famous. Once the rumors started circulating that he was gay, she and her friend group dropped Apo. I'd rather you didn't mention her to me ever again. Thank you," Mile seethes.

"Look, my point is...you know we support you, right?"

"Yes, I know. I wish you'd maybe do it less..."

Mile's family has been bending over backwards to support him and Apo. They're all waiting on baited breath for some kind of big reveal. If Apo ever breaks his heart, he'll be breaking theirs, too.

A beep lets Mile know he's getting an incoming call.

"Hold on. Hate to interrupt your gloating but Jeff's calling me."

Mile picks up and instantly knows from the tone of Jeff's voice that he needs to sit down for this conversation.

Jeff has his own company that he's prepared for quite a while, Studio on Saturn. And he won't be renewing his contract with Be On Cloud, to focus on that. Mile should've seen it coming, what with the man's insane talent and aptitude for the entertainment industry.

This is information only he, Jeff, and Pond are currently privy to. Mile has a decision to make. He can oblige by company rules and keep it from Apo, along with the rest of the actors, or he can oblige by his heart and do the right thing for their relationship. Apo is good friends with Jeff and the news will hurt him - but it will hurt more if Mile knew and didn't tell him, just because of his privileged position.

Mile buries his head in his hands after hanging up. First Build, and now this.

There are more skeletons in the closet. Mile didn't like the way the writers touched him setting him up for a scene. But he'd tolerate anything to make sure KinnPorsche gets the attention and untainted legacy it deserves and Apo's dream comes true. He knew scandal would be the end of that dream, so he preferred to deal with it quietly, privately. But now...it's all going to hell in a handbasket anyway.

Mile knows it isn't all about him, and there are other people suffering worse in this situation, but he does wish he didn't always have to make such difficult decisions. Life wasn't easy before KinnPorsche, but it sure was simpler. Now he worries about minute details with huge implications, like the sensors in the BOC building being in compliance with legislation and replaced on time so they don't trigger false alarms and bring the fire department out.

Yet, his top priority right now is Apo, and protecting Apo's feelings. Either way, Mile will be in trouble, but his love for Apo affords him no choice. People think that being in love is all giggles and sparkles and rainbows, and shouting it from the rooftops. But when a man really loves, it's all quiet angst and throwing all his money, his energy, his back, into solving any problem that stands in the way of that love - all in the background without needing to be seen. Apo probably has no idea just how much Mile loves him; he doesn't show it in obvious ways. But Mile doesn't need him to know, just to be oblivious and happy.

He makes up his mind to tell Apo, confidentiality regulations be damned. He can only hope Apo doesn't tell anyone else, or somehow let Pond know he knows. Mile is not the same man who once inhaled business textbooks and slept in his office in Kalasin. He has something bigger and better to live for now, and this newfound purpose just wants transparent communication, trust and equality in their relationship. Everyone else can sue him.

•••

Apo's birthday used to be just the two of them on a couch at Filmania HQ, live-streaming for maybe a thousand people. Now it's a month-long national affair with an ocean of bouquets from all over the world, but Mile and Apo aren't together. Technically, they are. They're all under the same roof in the convention centre on Apo's birthday for the world tour debuting the very next day. But Mile and the others sign autographs while Apo films birthday stuff off to the side. Mile isn't called over. So he stays away and sulks.

Yesterday, Mile's older brother posts a photo of his dad in front of Apo's birthday project. Now the hashtag "Romsaithong is ours, baby" is the subject of the moment, suggesting that Apo has conquered the heart of Romsaithong family.

Apo didn't even notice.

The one good part of today is Apo playing the guitar Mile bought for him. Mile has two vintage Gibson dove guitars; one in black for Apo to play and possibly damage, and one in white.

They are a couple.

Mile tweets happy birthday for appearance's sake but doesn't message Apo directly. Apo is so busy he probably wouldn't even respond anyway.

He is pleasantly surprised when Apo calls him over to join him during his One News interview.

"Is this shirt too..?" Mile frets under his breath.

"Too booby?" Apo supplies. "Yes, but I like it."

"Of course you do. But-"

"And we're rolling!"

Apo is asked how he feels about the incredible reception and gifts from the fans. He describes feeling overwhelmed, and compelled to do something in return. That's why he bought his fans thank-you gifts.

The interviewers figure they probably shouldn't just let Mile stand there smiling and nodding mutely.

"What about the person next to you, has he bought you a gift yet?"

Mile grins, shifting his weight.

"Uh..." Apo says, looking at him.

"I'm preparing it, I'm preparing it," says Mile. Because he doesn't feel comfortable telling the entire world just how he planned on rocking Apo's world on his birthday night.

Apo jokes that the gift is parked outside, or that maybe it's the shoes he's had his eyes on and begged his sugar daddy for.

Mile is asked if he has wishes for Apo, which he imparts sincerely.

"What if Po wants your watch?" comes the next question. Apo has indeed coveted Mile's Rolex publicly on numerous occasions. Mile makes a show of brandishing his watch-less wrist.

"Oops, don't have it," he grins, while Apo laughs. He makes a mental note to order one for Apo. It won't arrive in time for his birthday, but it might get here in time for their pseudo-anniversary.

After the interview, Apo is swarmed by people and Mile loses him in the crowd.

Mile goes to their room feeling glum and dejected. He doesn't expect Apo will be finished with the birthday festivities until morning, and resolves to go to bed alone.

To Mile's surprise, Apo barges through the door close to midnight, shouting, "honey, I'm home!" He finds Mile stripped down to his boxers, tangled in the sheets.

"Well, well. Happy birthday to me," Apo grins, advancing slowly.

"Po," Mile breathes, his arms suddenly full of Apo.

"Get up, we need to celebrate."

Which is how they end up in the kitchenette at midnight, strains of music wafting throughout the luxurious suite while Apo pulls things from the fridge.

"What's that?" Apo nods to the flowers in the corner of the room.

"Oh, those? Nothing," is Mile's hasty reply.

Mile feels suddenly ashamed. Handpicked yellow flowers wrapped in newspaper look pitiful compared to the massive money bouquets Apo has been receiving.

"Mile, I love them." Apo buries his face in the sunflowers. He opens the card and starts reading. "Dear baby sun..." He looks up after a minute with tears glimmering in his eyes. "This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever written me."

Mile rubs the back of his neck shyly. "Were you even gonna give this to me?"

"It's...it just seemed so..."

"This is perfect. You're perfect."

Mile's heart hammers against his chest.

"Really?"

"Really." Apo envelopes him in a hug.

"I'm getting you a Rolex, too. Just like the one I have. I know you really wanted that."

Apo's eyes widen. "It doesn't feel like enough. I should've done something more extravagant. You deserve a car, or expensive shoes. Everybody else got you such cool things..."

Apo shakes his head.

"You're the only one that gets me. I've said publicly numerous times that I almost quit this industry because I hate how Thai showbiz deifies actors. And they still... No one listened. Except you. I prefer your gift, Mile. It's small, but it's me. You really understand me, and..."

The golden glow of the lamp casts soft shadows on his adoring face.

Mile snaps out of his trance when Apo pulls away. He pads across the room to the record player and starts fiddling with it. He puts on one of their favourites, by Paul Anka.

Mile is soaring. He's buoyed by a love so strong it makes him weightless, in spite of all the burdens on his shoulders.

"Let's make birthday mocktails," Apo suggests brightly. And so they do. Every word out of his mouth is gospel to Mile.

"Put your head on my shoulder..." Apo belts out as he works. There is perfect tranquility in watching Apo move about the kitchen. His smile is serene.

Afterwards, they lean on the balustrade overlooking the city and smoke.

"You're such a bad influence," Mile coughs. "This is absolutely terrible."

"I know," Apo sighs. Mile likes that Apo trusts him with his weakest, most vulnerable side. "But it's my birthday; I'm allowed to indulge in bad things."

Mile has forgotten that he's a celebrity and a socialite. For the first time in his life he feels like a normal person, just a person. He can make mistakes.

A call comes in from his publicist about the May 4th interview he has with Apo. He lets it go to voicemail.

Apo has noticed that he is ignoring all incoming calls.

"Your phone has been going off all night. You sure you don't wanna take any of the calls?"

Mile can only imagine what his stylist, assistants, publicist, PR team, makeup artists and others are saying. Why did Mile drop us?! I've got a plane to catch; where is he?! Does he even know about the interview coming up? Mile couldn't care less.

"Fuck them." Mile sends one last message - we are not to be disturbed unless it's an emergency - and puts his phone on Do Not Disturb. Right now, his only priority is Apo.

They turn the lights down low. Only the glow from the lamps throughout the suite and the city lights shining through the window light their way. Drink in hand, they dance along to the record player. Mile's playlist of their romantic favorites - songs for a 'good night' - goes well with the wine and baklava Mile has brought to their room. He can't drink much because of their event tomorrow, but Mile wouldn't want to anyway.

He'd rather kiss Apo's hand sensually while they dance to Tuyo by Rodrigo Amarante, and make out against the wall to All I Have to Do Is Dream by The Everly Brothers, and slow dance to Killing Me Softly With Her Song by Perry Como, before gently lowering Apo onto the bed. Come Away With Me by Norah Jones starts playing and they undress each other slowly. Mile brings Apo's face close, close enough to see every fine line and pore in it. Apo's eyes are shining with love.

Mile feels like baring his heart out.

"There's something I haven't told you," he whispers. "About my ex. Who died on your birthday seven years ago."

"Oh."