On the big day, Apo wakes Mile up with tickles and sniff-kisses. Mile smiles, arms thrown over his head, and shuts his eyes contently. He's never felt so refreshed. We could've been doing this thrice a day for the last year, he thinks. We wasted so much time. What took us so long?

Mile wonders what he should say. He still has time to turn the whole thing into a joke.

Apo hooks his chin over Mile's shoulder.

"Morning, bae." Apo's voice is pure sex at this hour, like whiskey on gravel. Mile feels a flurry of butterflies start flapping their wings in his belly. The skin Apo's lips are pressed to tingles.

When Mile doesn't respond, Apo swings his legs over the side of the bed and rummages around the floor for his underwear. "So last night was fun," he says cheerily.

Apo starts picking clothing and clothing parts - Mile's shirt is now missing at least one button, he's sure - off the floor.

Mile lays in bed, staring at the ceiling and replaying that word over and over again. Fun. Is that all it was? Meaningless fun? Scratching a curious itch? No way. There was something more there. Mile saw it in Apo's eyes, felt it in his kiss.

"Come on, get dressed," Apo throws over his shoulder. Mile should say something. But Apo is bustling about the room so casually, Mile can't bear to open his mouth and ruin everything.

When Mile still hasn't moved, Apo comes to sit on the edge of the bed, one palm splayed on Mile's bare chest. "Are you okay? We don't have to talk about it, you know."

Something about the way he says that makes Mile wonder. Is this not the first time he's done this with a man? There's so much they should be talking about.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," Apo says. The intended reassurance has the opposite effect. What did it mean to Apo? Does he even want a repeat? Does he regret it?

What is worse? To know or not know?

As for Mile, he is teeming with love, but doesn't have the slightest clue how to express it all succinctly. He grasps Apo's hand and awards each finger a loving kiss, hoping Apo can somehow sense what he can't find the words to convey.

It is better to not know.

Mile chooses the music this morning: a playlist of legends. He completes his facial routine and takes their rings out of the top drawer of the nightstand. They are a gift from fans, blue for Mile and green for Apo, but they wear each other's.

When he slides Apo's on, Apo tackles him onto the bed and then they're kissing, grinning at each other, sharing the same rush of exhilaration. They've gone and done it. They've broken the rules and messed around with their costar against their better judgment, like the worst and most troublesome cliché. This is it. A look of understanding passes between them; they've accepted that this is their fate.

Mile can see the end as it begins. He knows this is going to lead to a disaster. But he will enjoy the plummet.

Mile heaves himself up again with reluctance. He's eager for the event, but not as eager as he is to retire back to their room at the end of it. He doesn't quite know what to expect. Is there going to be a repeat? Was it a two-night stand? Mile is not naive. He knows they're just hooking up, not making love. If Apo doesn't think it's a big deal, Mile isn't going to make it one. He also knows they will never talk about it. Mile has learned that Apo is going to do what Apo wants to do and Mile will just go along with it.

The men are getting dressed when there's a knock at the door. It's the camera crew.

"The fuck...really?" Apo mutters, scrambling to feet. "Just a minute," Apo calls out. He dabs some serum on his face just before the cameraman comes into their room. "Just film over here in this corner, please."

"Did you put this on?" Apo hands Mile the bottle.

"Yeah. I'll hold on to it for you." Mile pockets the bottle. "Let's go; we're gonna be late."

The world tour debuts at the Impact Arena in two sold-out shows with more than 20,000 fans in attendance.

Mile has missed Porsche. Yes, Porsche is a bit rough around the edges. Porsche's love language is physical attack, and he's hit, spit on, and slapped Kinn enough to cause brain damage. But he's also a pure and loveable baby.

Mile has missed Kinn, too. Few will ever know the extent to which Mile made Kinn his own. Kinn uses his left hand when he intends to kill; he uses his right hand when the gun is aimed at his beloved. Kinn uses his ring finger during Porsche's outburst, signalling the guards to stand down. All of this is by Mile's design.

During their pep talk meeting, the cast senses a change in Mile and Apo. For one thing, they emerge together from the stairway exit leading from their room, well after everyone has already banded together and started recording the KinnPorsche cheer on camera.

"Hmm, they ain't as silent as before," Job says.

"Apo is lucky he gets to have Farmhouse Royal bread and a hotdog for dinner," Tong says. Mile chokes on his D7 and needs three men pounding on his back to revive him. Then, just when Mile is able to breathe again, Tong adds in a hushed voice, "remind me to talk to you about PrEP later," and the coughing starts up again even stronger.

Apo introduces Mile on stage during the opening of their Cumulus band performance as "the most handsome man I've ever met in my entire life...MILE PHAKPHUM ROMSAITHONG!"

It feels weird for Mile, singing songs on stage with Apo that have previously never left their room. Perhaps he shouldn't have suggested: let Kinn and Porsche sing romantic oldies; Apo and I already know a ton. Apo makes it better, pointing to Mile all throughout their rendition of the boyfriend song. On the last 'I love you' of Fly Me To The Moon, Apo's finger points to Mile again. It reminds him that, despite the audience, it's just them.

"What about us?" he asks into the microphone when the applause dies down.

"What about us? Uh... I think Porsche and Kinn should continue this and do something backstage," Mile proposes suggestively. "Do you agree?"

They exit in a hurry, Apo carrying Mile's guitar.

For Mile, the highlight of the show is Apo agreeing to indulge in his fantasy and cosplay as Zhan Zhao. It started as a thought in his head, which he spoke aloud at a small conference: Apo would look so good in Zhan Zhao's clothing, don't you think? Then Apo showed up at his place in the costume. We all know you wanted to play with Zhan Zhao 2.0 so bad, he'd grinned.

Mile loves him for this. He is the luckiest man, with the best partner.

After a plethora of dirty jokes, he gives a tired Apo a piggyback down the stairs. His dream has finally come true, and Mile is elated, and therefore a little bit careless.

The pier script doesn't call for an actual kiss. It was left open to their interpretation. Mile blames endorphins for the impulsive decision to really kiss Apo, and keep going after the lights turn off. He knows he will have to answer for it later, but the undeniable pull Apo's mouth exerts on him is too strong now to resist.

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Then Mile remembers their parents are in the audience - together - and he is so embarrassed he resolves never to do this again.

Mile has kept his hands to himself for far too long. Now that he has a standing invite to touch Apo, it's hard to be with him on stage and keep it casual. Little touches and whispered I love yous keep Mile and Apo grounded throughout the remaining events, serving as reminders, proofs of love. Every look between them is a promise. Less subtle are the three separate occasions in which one touches or slaps the other's ass. But they can get away with anything because they've played lovers onscreen, emboldened to do whatever they want under the guise of fan-service and character bleed. And no one suspects a thing - which makes it easy to keep doing what they're doing without having to answer to anyone for their actions or define what they are. Besides, some of their fans have eagle eyes, so any efforts at secrecy are futile. Twitter has already picked up on the rings...and everything else.

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Mile wonders how his amorous glances and flirting are perceived, if they're misconstrued as acting, if they're noticed at all. He wonders if Apo notices. They haven't talked about anything. Mile doesn't know what they are or what the terms are between them - or anything at all, really - and that's okay. He knew from the beginning that Apo was an enigma. Every moment with him is enough.

Mike can't shake the feeling that this is something they shouldn't be doing, even if they both want it. They've had this great friendship going for a while now, and he knows the sex could mess it up.

The only problem is that Mile Junior is involved now. What does he need to do to get a repeat of the last two nights? Laying it all bare for Apo and talking about feelings is not an option. Mile can't even look in the mirror and tell the truth out loud to himself. If he tells Apo, he might lose their calls, their walks, their flirty looks, all the things he's come to love. He might lose Apo. They don't need to sleep together again. As long as Mile gets to keep those things, he can be very, very happy. Mile appreciates the benefits of playing it safe. Let Apo call the shots.

•••

Mile has been handing out NDAs like candy to everyone involved with him and Apo: bodyguards, managers, hair and makeup crew, assistants, trainers, film crew, chauffeurs... If they have eyes and ears, they get an non-disclosure agreement to sign.

Friends can kiss. And Mile and Apo have started kissing all the time, everywhere. No questions, strings, labels, weirdness, or demands for an explanation. Apo is needy with him. But Mile didn't know how much he needed an arrangement like this himself.

Apo need only say, Mile, I need it. Mile tuts fondly - Don't you always - and happily obliges.

On one of their adventures together, Mile and Apo manage to escape their handlers and run amuck through a foreign city at night. It's all clasped hands and hushed voices and barely contained laughter, running past restaurants and cinemas and convenience stores, shoving each other up against brick walls in alleyways. It's raining lightly, the city lights blurring into a golden bokeh whirl. Apo is staring at Mile's lips. From the open window of a distant store drift faint strains of All By Myself by Eric Carmen, a favorite of Mile's.

Their knuckles have been brushing at indeterminate points all night and he feels little sparks of electricity flying between them. Mile feels that magnetic pull, looking at Apo's face.

Well, you've got me right where you want me, Mile thinks through their telepathic link. They are saying things with their eyes that mouths can't speak. He leans in.

Don't make me say it, Apo thinks back with trepidation. Tell me if you understand.

I understand.

Their lips meet softly in a chaste kiss. Little thrills race up and down Mile's spine when they separate. They can barely suppress their giggles. The next kiss is longer, slow, then dizzying.

Other times, Apo is more confident.

"Kiss me like I'm the love of your life." Apo's eyes are hooded with passion, brow slick with a light sheen of sweat. Mile crawls up his body. Apo's pupils are blown, hair framing his face in wisps.

"You just might be," Mile thinks as he gives in. He realizes belatedly that he's said it out loud.

"I'm not asking for anything," Apo whispers. "Don't make promises."

"Why not?" For Mile, there's only been Apo, for a long time. He hasn't volunteered this information to Apo and would never demand the same commitment back, however.

"Let's see how we feel in a few years."

"What do you mean?"

"KinnPorsche is still fresh in our minds. It's affected our psyche. Wait a few years; what you feel might fade."

This sort of analytical thinking usually comes from Mile. Now, Mile is hurt by the cold, calculating advice. "It's going to die, Mile. It always does."

"I don't want it to go away."

"Then never stop working with me." Apo's gaze is feverish. "And in the meantime, put your mouth back where it belongs."

Mike moves back down Apo's body.

"No - up here, you idiot."

Another time, Mile was playing guitar, a classic song with some of his favourite guitar riffs - it may have been Lenny by Stevie Ray Vaughan or As I Am by Dream Theater - when Apo cupped his face and kissed him out of the blue.

It's happening again, a few days later. They've just come back from shooting the Man Suang trailer. Mile is patiently, carefully, explaining to Apo why FMCG - fast-moving consumer goods - are not that profitable, when Apo kisses him in the middle of a sentence.

Mile knew from the beginning that Apo would be a full-time job. The man thrives on skinship and physical contact. He refuses to be neglected.

"Mile," Apo whispers in the dark, lying next to Mile in bed.

"Yeah, Po?"

"I need it." Apo doesn't need to ask twice. His plush, sensual lips are too tempting not to claim. They are already swollen after many kisses; any more and people will start to talk. He indulges Apo with another long, slow kiss.

"Hold me," Apo instructs, and takes Mile's arm, looping it around his waist. "Like this."

"What are you, an instruction manual?"

"And you love it."

"I do." Mile shuts his eyes, snuggling contently under the comforter. Apo's cold feet are wedged between his. "Now either hush, or keep blabbering in a soft voice until I fall asleep."

"Okay."

Mile is sailing into dreamland when Apo blurts, "hey! Did you know Po is a another word for ass in German?"

Mile's weary eyes snap open.

•••

On July 27, BOC announces a lineup of new projects, including Mile and Apo's new historical movie, for which they release a teaser trailer on YouTube.

On August 5, Mile gives a speech in which he tells the world, with his family present, that he doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend - yet. He adds the "yet" because BOC has arranged an outing to Phuket and Apo wants to share a room with Mile. Mile hopes they will get closer during this trip and that maybe, by the end of it, they will really be an item.

He loves sharing a suite with Apo. Mile blasts one of his favorites, Yesterday Once More by the Carpenters, while Apo makes breakfast and sings along. Apo loves his coffee, along with something sweet, in the mornings. Who knew having coffee could be such a beautiful experience? Apo likes to make cofftails, combining caffeine with his favourite cocktail flavours, for the aesthetic vibes. Mile, who isn't as sophisticated, just drinks coffee to stay awake, and keeps badgering Apo not to waste the dregs.

"When I was young, I'd listen to the radio... Waitin' for my favorite songs... When they played I'd sing along... It made me smile... Smile for me, Mile."

Mile looks up from his laptop, sees Apo dancing around the kitchenette, and smiles.

Apo has a new camera which he puts to good use photographing his favorite muse. Pond snaps a shot when he isn't looking.

Apo's walk - more of a flounce - is energetic and sprightly, making his tousled hair bounce on his head. Mile loves travelling with him because Apo really knows how to live. He's free-spirited and playful, with the mannerisms of a child, kind of...helter-kelter. Everything is new and exciting in his eyes. Every outing together is unpredictable and fun.

They visit the Phang Nga Bay, which lies between southern Thailand's mainland and Phuket Island. It's a gorgeous place, with limestone cliffs, rock formations, mangrove forests and small islands - including Koh Tapu, which is known as James Bond Island for its appearance in a Bond film.

Pond sneaks a discreet shot of them and uploads it to BOC's Instagram. It's stunning. Mile will treasure the photo - and the moment - forever.

They sit on a secluded park bench and admire their photos. Apo is too insecure to share his own to Instagram.

"'Cause of my...you know, my..." He makes a vague, sweeping gesture in the vicinity of his tummy.

"What, this?" Mile tickles the little speedbump. 

"Mile, stop-"

"This? Right here?" He ducks down to give it the briefest of kisses.

"It's your fault I'm like this, you know. My phone is full of hot pics of you. It sets an impossible standard."

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"So that's why you always want to photograph me. Your phone is a spank bank for you to jerk off to at night."

The reason for Apo's tummy is in his hand at this very moment: an ice cream cone. Mile doesn't point this out, however; he loves that tummy almost as much as the way Apo moans when he's licking ice cream.

The rest of their trip is surreal. Mile wonders the entire time if he is dreaming. Their days pass in a whirl of softly crashing waves and cotton candy skies and sunshine splashing like hot honey on their skin.

Apo's comment on his vacation post at the end is the cherry on top.

On their way to a photoshoot in late August, Apo asks to drive.

Mile chuckles nervously.

"I love you, Apo...but I need to live to be able to do that."

Eventually, he relents.

They become aware of some fans following them. Luckily, Apo knows how to lose a trailing car, albeit not exactly legally.

This is not the turbulence Mile wants. Mile forgets his own name for a few minutes while Apo drives.

Afterwards, Mile gets to teasing Apo about crazy stalker fangirls, and Apo insinuates that Mile is probably texting a whole horde of them.

"You're enough." Mile shakes his head. "You're all I want."

"If there's another woman, I'll fucking kill you." Apo tries to pass it off as a joke but Mile suspects it's more of a promise.

"There's no one else," Mile denies solemnly. "You know my phone password. You can check whenever you want." Mile puts his phone on the console between them. Since the Filmania days, Apo has had a standing invite to go through Mile's phone.

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There are no secrets between them, and certainly no other romantic interests.

Besides, now that Mile has Apo, he doesn't need a wife.

And that's only the tip of the petty, nagging, needy, iceberg. As if Mile could manage that and another woman on the side.

Mile and Apo are shooting for Vogue Culture, set to hit stores in October. The piece underscores their winning relationship.

Apo dons cat ears for some shots and Mile thinks he just might lose his ever-loving mind.

After the shoot, Apo snaps some pictures of Mile using Mile's phone, which Mile credits him for on Instagram.

"What do you mean, take care of me?" Mile grins slyly when he's read Apo's comment.

Mile finds out the next day.

First, a shopping date to find a gift for Mile's mom that doubles as a promo for a handful of different sponsors.

Then they go to the Wat Arun temple to pray together, which Apo previously expressed his desire to do on Mile's social media. Mile doesn't want to read too much into it, but it is Thai tradition for lovebirds to go to the temple together and make meritorious deeds so as to be together in the afterlife. Mile mentioned something in their Madan Fun interview back in April about them reincarnating as a couple, but he doesn't know if Apo was paying attention. Besides, it's always a romantic date destination.

Then they ride a ferry across the Chao Phraya River to Mile's favorite cake café: the Pink Rabbit Cake Shop.

Finally, in the privacy of their bed, Mile takes care of Apo the way only he can.

•••

Mile has COVID again. It's September 11, the KinnPorsche send-off at the Paragon in Bangkok. He watches live as Apo carries his standee around.

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Mile is jealous of his two-dimensional self. After all the times Mile has carried Apo, the tables have finally turned. At first, a couple of the others thought it was funny when Apo brought it along, and posed for photos with it - though Jeff was a bit weirded out - but by the time they did group photos, all the cast members just went with it. Build helped Apo turn it around for photos.

Apo rips into him later that night. Mile's name - Phakphum - is practically 'immunity' in Thai, and Apo can't stop laughing at him.

"The irony," Apo cries. Mile can almost see the tears streaming down his face. "The irony..."

Mile posts on Instagram and Apo's comment is... typical.

Apo later calls Mile to check in on him. Somehow, the conversation takes a turn. Mile doesn't know how it happened, but now Apo is asking him if he's alone in bed, in that voice. As it happens, he is. "What color boxers are you wearing?"

Mile smiles softly to himself.

"Green," he replies.

"I thought so. Anyway, why don't you take them off for me..."