The Ferris wheel of Mile's life has stopped brusquely, leaving him suspended in mid-air.

He knows immediately which night Apo is referring to. He himself has almost forgotten about it. Surely Apo, who acted so indifferently, isn't still haunted by it...

Apo sees Mile's blank stare and mistakes it for confusion.

"Did I imagine it? Dream it? Was I drunk?" Apo grows frantic.

"No," Mile snaps quickly. Then, in a quieter voice, "it happened."

"And we weren't acting?"

"We..."

The moment is crucial, pivotal. Mile should say no. The truth is that he wasn't acting. But he sees Apo's ensuing horror in his mind, sees their relationship fall apart, and thinks better of it. He has a wonderful, come-over-so-we-can-fall-asleep kind of relationship with Apo; Mile doesn't want to ruin it.

He shrugs helplessly, and changes the topic. "What does it matter now? Did I tell you I'm going to be playing with Slot Machine?"

•••

Apo has always wanted to learn guitar but it never worked. Mile has been trying to teach him, and Apo broke Mile's guitar string. If Mile weren't in love with Apo...

At a KinnPorsche press conference, Mile and Apo reiterate for various news outlets how they've been focusing on showcasing their authentic, natural relationship progression rather than fan-service. Also, Apo is beginning to learn that Mile is a jealous, possessive man.

During the Kuizap show, Mile is describing sharing a room with Apo after the waterpark, when Tong - who was also at that outing - throws Mile under the bus. He wants to know if Mile and Apo slept together. Mile panics and reiterates that they were on an outing together, though it doesn't answer the question. Tong could make the argument that he was also there and didn't share their room, that there were plenty of rooms, but - mercifully - does not. The interviewers would have a field day and Tong knows it.

About a week later, they dig themselves deeper into the hole when asked in a Fast Talk game: lights on or off? Mile and Apo start giggling. The interviewer clarifies that he's talking about sleeping, but their minds are already in the gutter.

"Oh, okay, I thought you were talking about sex, for us." Apo laughs.

After the countdown, both answer: "lights on."

"Both of us love lights on," Apo asserts boldly.

"It's more romantic," Mile adds, thinking back to the hot tryst in his living room that had both of them spilling in their pants like teenagers, the way the light played over Apo's skin and cast shadows on the planes and curves of his body.

"It's more romantic..." The interviewer echoes, gobsmacked. His eyebrows arc.

"Yes."

"Okay, okay." He claps his hands together, probably realizing everyone will know his name when this interview hits the internet.

"We need light," Mile and Apo say at practically the same time. "We like that."

Their translator has been having a grand old time in the background, her facial expressions worthy of an acting portfolio.

"In the series, is it lights on?" is the next question.

"Oh, yeah." Apo smirks. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to see anything."

"The silhouette."

"Ooh." All laugh.

"I'll suggest it to the director," Mile grins.

"We're talking about a thing in a room," Apo says vaguely, "not about us, right?" He gestures between himself and Mile, both men grinning from ear to ear. The translator pulls the most dubious face Mile has ever seen.

The interviewer plays along, downplaying the implications of the last few minutes. Apo laughs and nods along. But somehow Mile knows this question will be the thumbnail of the video.

Mile didn't know, before Apo, how fun it is to be naughty in public. To the chagrin of his father, his PR team, and his Kalasin empire, he is a changed man.

•••

"You'll never guess how my mom just greeted me."

"Did she call you Kinn again?" Apo surmises over the phone.

"No, she just...slammed her fists on the table. It took me a while, but then-"

"Ooooh."

"Then I got it."

"Did she see that episode?!"

"I don't know. But she was just waiting for me to come in and then she did it." Mile thinks about his mom thinking about Apo's socked foot on his crotch and never wants to think again.

"That woman is gold."

•••

During their Talk To Me interview in July, Apo explains how, one day, after giving up on acting, his manager told him about a series that contacted him, requesting he cast in it.

He still doesn't know. Mile realizes he's never told Apo.

Apo does thank Mile for making Pond pick up the project, but he still has no idea how it all began. He doesn't know who reached out to his manager, changing the course of their lives, or why.

The internet has its uncanny way of finding everything out, and certainly thinks the whole story is kind of funny.

When Apo says, "I love Mile a lot," Mile devolves into a puddle on the floor. Then, even worse, the interviewer makes him respond.

"Well, I don't usually... I try to say it regularly but I often don't because I'm too shy. I'll use a roundabout way...but in this moment-"

"He'll write it on a post-it note and stick it up," Apo jokes.

"Or I'll use questions, but I don't know if he can interpret it in those times... But for right here and now, thank you, Po. Thank you so much. When my emotions start to spill over, I'm not good at organizing them. Um, thank you very much. The time was right, or maybe it was destiny, for us to get to know each other. It's no small thing. We're just gonna let nature take its course. We've spent the last year, year-ish, together. It's been feelings and memories, both good and bad, blending so well together, and I cherish it, we both do. So thank you very much, and I love you too."

Belatedly, he realizes he's said, 'a year-ish.' They've known each other for almost two years. Nobody's questioned it, not even Apo. Mile wonders if he even remembers the ring.

•••

The series finale airs on July 9, 2022.

"My mom is watching the pool scene as we speak," Mile grins.

Apo's laughter is bubbly and manic with glee over the phone. He's been calling Mile every night.

"Send my regards to Khun Mae."

"I will. After she unglues her eyeballs from the screen."

"How are you feeling?"

"You mean apart from mortified? My throat is still sore."

And his heart hurts. It's difficult to be apart. Only five days ago, they were grabbing lunch together in Bangkok, laughing over all the comments their friends left of did Apo take this photo? Which, yes, he did, and he didn't enjoy it. He was hungry but Mile had him take a dozen different shots, and then couldn't decide which one to post on Instagram.

And the day before that, they were jamming out on the floor of Mile's music room, rehearsing. Mostly.

He misses Apo so much it's affecting his self-control on social media.

"I'm coming to you."

"There's no need." Mile doesn't want him to get sick. "My mom's taking good care of me."

"We need to practice for the show anyway." On the first day of June, Be On Cloud announced that there would be a KinnPorsche World Tour in collaboration with Live Nation Asia involving 16 of the series' cast members and Slot Machine. Their schedule is packed for the rest of the year, if all goes according to plan.

24/07/22 KPWT D1
25/07/22 KPWT D2
08/10/22 Singapore
16/10/22 Seoul
22/10/22 Manila
30/10/22 Taipei D1
31/10/22 Taipei D2
31/01/23 HongKong D1
01/02/23 HongKong D2
25/02/23 KPWTBKK2023
26/02/23 KPWTBKKWTF

"We'll practice when I'm better."

"Okay."

They tell each other 'I love you' before hanging up, because as they said in a previous interview, life is short and it's better to express how they feel while they still have the chance to do so.

Apo makes sure to be extra affectionate, which is in itself a sort of medicine.

Nevertheless, Mile is still recovering from COVID on July 14, so he can't be present during the KinnPorsche cast's reaction to the series finale. But that doesn't mean he can't attend virtually.

He surprises Apo, joining on Zoom. His eyebrows are doing gymnastics when Apo looks up at him on the screen. In a stadium full of people, Mile only has eyes for one man.

When he wants to say something, he implores: "Po-Po, pass me the microphone."

Apo immediately lifts his mic to the screen and Mile reaches behind his monitor to pull out his own in a hilarious 'magic' trick.

When he realizes what Mile has done, Apo laughs with his entire face.

"That was epic," He tells Mile over the phone afterward.

"I saw you cried at the end watching our scene."

"Fuck. It was so dark I didn't think anyone could tell. I missed you."

"The cameras were on you the entire time."

"God, the script was perfect. I was screaming. The fact that we had time to flirt with each other in the middle of a gunfight..."

"I know. It was amazing. We were amazing."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Mile does his best to recover quickly so as not to miss the world tour debut in a week. Apo, of course, is an idiot and comes over with his bags packed for an entire week, to make sure he eats chicken soup and takes his medication everyday. Mae is delighted to see him; Mile isn't.

"You're going to get sick," Mile frets.

"I don't care."

•••

It's a few days before the world tour, and the KinnPorsche cast is set to room at a hotel near the Impact Arena. They arrive at night, eager to unpack and get a good night's rest before rehearsal the next day.

Mile and Apo strip down to their boxers and slide under the covers of their hotel room bed.

Apo is never so calm and quiet as in sleep. It's a shocking departure from hyperactive, daytime Apo. Apo doesn't need coffee; he is caffeine. He has this unending, supersonic energy, like a little child, rarely getting tired and almost never staying still. Mile remembers Apo once saying he didn't feel good, that he was going to be sick. Mile told him he was just tired and needed a nap. Sure enough, Apo felt better when he woke up. The man doesn't even know what it feels like to be exhausted, so when he feels it, he automatically assumes he's sick.

Lying next to him in the dark, Mile traces Apo's beautiful features with his eyes. They call to him, those plush, pillowy lips parted in sleep. That smoothly sloped nose, those delicately flared nostrils and elegant, refined cheekbones. Mile feels lucky. He may be the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Many will love Apo from afar, but only he gets to do this. The thought is heady.

Mile wakes up with his arms around Apo, the alarm blaring at an ungodly hour of the morning amidst the sound of groaning, shifting and sheets rustling.

"Five more minutes, Mile..." Delirious Apo is so cute, stretching his arms over his head like a cat, letting out a series of nonsensical waking-up noises. Mile buries his nose in the exposed skin of Apo's neck and breathes in his sweet, dreamlike scent.

Rehearsals are gruelling. There's dancing, singing, acting, and more to practice.

Their trainer himself doesn't know if they're fighting or flirting anymore, just turning his palms up helplessly to the sky when Mile looks to him for direction.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

There are so many people crawling the grounds that it was bound to happen. Mile comes out of a sound check to find Apo getting hit on by the most attractive staff member Mile has ever seen, and Mile wants to die.

He grabs himself some food and sits a ways off, watching her flirt with Apo, sulking and overthinking.

His heart softens, seeing Apo smile and laugh. And Mile makes a stunning realization. He always thought that he was a jealous man. He never liked seeing his exes in the arms of another man. But, in this moment, his love for Apo is so strong that he just wants to see him happy, with anyone that makes him happy. If Apo finds someone else, someone who makes his smile reach his beautiful eyes and elicits that beautiful belly laugh from him, then Mile feels he, too, would be happy. It's mind-boggling; Mile can't understand it himself. He has never loved anyone so purely, so selflessly, before.

Apo eventually joins him in the stairwell.

"There you are." Apo takes up a lot of room, not just because of his leggy body but his big, loud persona.

"She looks nice," Mile offers nonchalantly. He nods vaguely in the direction of the fawning woman. "Are you two gonna...you know?"

Apo's eyes widen, and he grins.

"Man, I don't even know if I remember how to be with a woman," he laments, laughing.

Mile stares stonily ahead.

"You'll remember," he mutters more drily than he intended. He would be happy for Apo, yes, but it would still hurt.

Apo nods, fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of his shirt for a long moment before looking at Mile.

"What if I don't want to?"

It's three whole seconds before Mile processes his sentence. He whips his head around to stare at Apo, finding the tiniest hint of vulnerability in Apo's bright eyes.

Fuck, is he... Is this... Are they...

The rest of the cast is crammed like sardines, nine of them in one small room, playing video games on the too-small TV. Everyone knows, and resents, that Mile and Apo get a honeymoon suite with a queen-sized bed. It's no secret that the room has a single bed; Bas sussed it out and told Job, who then told everyone.

"Wish we could use a bigger room; I'm suffocating in here. What're Apo and Mile doing?" Jeff mutters.

"Practicing until Apo's voice gets hoarse," Job replies at the same time that Tong says, "making a baby in their room."

Meanwhile, Mile and Apo are kissing hurriedly, buttons ripping, belts flying, both men undressing each other as they tumble, grinning, into bed. They are in the throes of ecstasy, two men excited by the prospect of doing bad things together and getting into trouble.

Apo rips Mile's shirt open, giving it some relief.

"It's been screaming all day, trying to contain your chest," he pants.

Pushing Apo's thighs apart, Mile slots himself in between them and drapes himself over Apo's body. Then they're kissing like the world is ending, rushed and frantic, hands clawing at hair, Mile's shirt flying through the air. Apo's eyes roll back when Mile kisses his neck.

"I love you," Mile reminds Apo with wistful yearning. He feels like he hasn't said it enough. "Not like... I mean as a-"

"Shut up," Apo sighs, breathless. "Love you too, sap."

Mile has loved Apo for so long, there's a raw intensity to being together that he hasn't known before with casual hookups and one-night-stands. They love each other's bodies, love playing with them, whether or not there's a camera involved.

Mile has worked Apo out of his fly and is jerking him hard, making the bed-frame rap rhythmically against the wall.

"Mm, fuck yeah..." Apo groans deliriously. Mile rakes his shorts down to his ankles and rips them off, sending them flying across the room. Apo has wanted to be manhandled by Mile since he first saw him at the gym all those years ago; Mile's sure of it. Apo's thighs are thrown apart, and then Mile is going to town, kissing from Apo's inner thigh to the core of his need.

Apo is in another realm, panting in short staccato gasps, eyes unfocused. Mile has never felt so fired up. He can hardly breathe, a primordial desire to claim Apo as his own the single all-consuming thought on his mind.

"Mile, Mile, Mile," Apo chants as though in pain. Mile is kissing between his legs while administering a rushed, sloppy handjob that has Apo crying out towards the heavens and Mile helplessly trying to muffle the sound with the palm of his free hand.

Mile is a bit out of his depth here. Yet, he would rather suffer tears streaming down his face, a clogged nose, and a blue face than the shame of failing to service Apo properly.

"I love you, Mile," Apo pants after he crashes. He reverses their positions and takes Mile in his hands. Sweat shines on Mile's brow. He watches Apo's lips descend towards his achingly hard member.

"Your voice is gonna be hoarse tomorrow," he warns.

Apo gives him a daring smile as if to say, I don't give a fuck. He never does, about anything.

He's inexperienced, but his confidence makes up for it. Mile wouldn't trade this blowjob for that of the most skilled woman in the world.

He throws his head back, clenching his fist in Apo's hair, and fights for his life while Apo surely tries to kill him.

Mile unleashes his love down Apo's throat and on his pretty face. He can taste himself on Apo's lips when they kiss, panting like animals.

"Fucking love you so much," he murmurs, holding a shivering Apo tight. His skin is tacky with sweat.

"Love you," comes Apo's contented reply, the younger man nosing into Mile's neck. "What do you think the kids are doing?"

"Probably in the gym or playing video games, gossiping about us."

"We should go to the gym."

Mile groans at the thought of leaving the bed.

"I suppose we should probably show our faces, yeah..."

"We should shower first."

"Yeah..."

"It's a little silly, showering before going to the gym," Apo points out.

"We shouldn't..."

Apo grins like a daredevil. "We'll scandalize them."

"If we sneak in, they'll think we were just working out the entire time."

"Okay."

It almost works, except Bas and Ping catch them slipping in through the back door. Mile immediately averts his gaze, heading for the dumbbells, and they aren't confronted. Apo remains close by, practicing the splits.

"One stretching, the other lifting weights," Job comments, passing by. "It's so obvious what goes on in bed at the end of the day."

Mile's jaw tightens, but Apo's reassuring hand on his arm keeps him from reacting.

Back in their room, Mile and Apo rehearse their musical performance. Apo's throat is a bit hoarse - just as Mile forewarned - and it takes a lot of practice to reassure him enough that he can sleep soundly.

The next day, the cast exercises together in the spacious rec room. Mile thinks everyone looks washed out in their drab colors compared to Apo's radiance in bright green and red. Apo is an original and Mile loves that about him. They dance along to whatever tunes DJ Ping spins up on the keyboard. Sensing Mile watching him, Apo comes over to Mile and takes his wrist, and they dance together. On another occasion, he drags Mile across the the rec room by the wrist at a run. They are, in short, inseparable.

The Cumulus band gets together for an interview at the end of the day. Apo shares his nervousness about his upcoming vocal performance and how thankful he is for being Mile's roommate, because Mile was able to help him practice.

"Hmm?" Bas and Ping exchange knowing smirks.

Mile decides to have a little fun.

"He was worried he would cough because he has a sore throat."

"What?" Job frowns.

"Oh, because you got over COVID recently, right?" Ping supplies.

No, that isn't right, and the men react in increasing confusion; it was Mile who had COVID.

Mile shakes his head. His joke isn't landing.

"Okay, I'll be the one with the sore throat," Mile acquiesces, grinning.

The men are getting rowdier by the millisecond, and he loves it. Apo isn't helping to deescalate the sexual tension, either; that isn't in his nature.

"Didn't he mean that it was me? I thought I was the one who had a sore throat."

"I have no idea what you guys are arguing about," Job feigns oblivion. But they're all imagining how the blowjob must've gone down - and who went down on who - and he knows it.

The cast-mates are in a craze, some jokingly rising from their seat and asking, "should we leave?!"

Bas points towards the camera.

"The issue is gonna be how the editor cuts this video."

"Okay," Apo shouts over the raucous laughter, "the takeaway is that Mile has a sore throat."

Amidst the chaos comes a quiet, plaintive groan:

"Just let these two people talk!"