chapter 34
Mako and the twins stood on the beach, sparring. Karah saw a fluff of white in the corner of her eye and turned to see what it was. For a moment she was dumbstruck but then a huge smile spread over her face and she ran towards the familiar polar bear-dog.
"Mom!" she screamed. The Firebender looked up and felt his heart stop. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It had been so long. But he couldn't ignore the way his heart quickened when he saw her, the love of his life, the mother of his children, the only woman he had ever loved. He smiled and walked towards her.
Korra hopped off Naga and ran to her daughter, holding out her arms. The little Firebender jumped right into them and held her mother tight, fearing she was an illusion and would disappear. The Avatar embraced her daughter as well, kissing her face repeatedly.
"You look so big," she noted, holding her face between her hands. Karah smiled.
"I grew a little," she admitted.
The Avatar smiled. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Mom, I understand. But please don't ever leave us again."
"Never," she replied. The Waterbender hugged her again and felt her heart skip a beat when a familiar Firebender stood inches away from her. Her daughter gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before stepping aside. The Avatar nervously gulped and stood up, looking down.
He gently cupped her face in his hands and she finally looked at the familiar amber eyes that saw right into her very being. All that time away from him hadn't changed the feelings she felt for the Firebender that had stood by her side all those years.
"Mako, I'm-" she began but was cut off by a fierce yet passionate kiss. The Avatar wasted no time in returning the warm embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck as he placed his hands around her waist. The kissed lasted for the longest time and the couple reluctantly pulled away when their lungs felt as they would burst from the lack of air.
He placed his forehead on hers and just looked into her blue electrifying eyes. She felt a blush creep onto her cheeks and he chuckled.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Can you forgive me?"
He sighed deeply as he straightened, removing a hand from her waist to place it on her cheek. "Korra, you don't need to apologize. I understand."
The Waterbender looked down. "Thank you. I don't deserve you," she whispered. He shook his head and placed his forehead against hers again.
"Do you love me?" he asked.
"What? Of course I do! Why-" she began.
"Then nothing else matters," he replied, She hugged him and suddenly remembered a certain little Waterbender. She pulled away from her husband and looked around to him and smiled.
"Mac," she called. He slowly looked up. "Come."
The boy stood there for a while, not knowing whether to move or if he even could. He had imagined this for days, for weeks, for months. He used to sit at the highest point in the island waiting for his mother's return, and now that she was here he didn't know what to do. Slowly he walked towards her. Korra kneeled and hugged him as tightly as she had hugged her daughter.
He didn't return the embrace. She put a hand on his cheek. "Mac, I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long. I-"
"Is that all you have to say?" he asked in a rather cold tone. The Avatar blinked at him.
"Mac," she began, caressing his face in her hands. He slapped them away.
"You've been gone for a year. A year! And all you have to say is that you're sorry?" he yelled.
"Mac, calm down," Karah said.
"Don't!" he snapped at her. "Don't you dare defend her!" He turned his attention back to his mother. "I waited for you every day for eight month's on that bluff for you to come back. Did you think that everything would return to normal after you just decided to leave us here?" he asked. Korra's eyes became watery and a tear slid down her cheek.
"I know I hurt you. But I had to leave," she tried to explain.
"You didn't have to!" the boy roared. "We tried to tell you it wasn't your fault! We tried to comfort you and you pushed away! We watched as you collapsed in on yourself from the guilt and never left your side!"
"At the time I was confused. I didn't know what to do."
"Don't make excuses!" he spat. Korra flinched at his words.
"Don't talk to your mother like that," Mako said, a little anger in his voice. The Waterbender held her hand up in a sign for him to relax.
"They're not excuses."
"Then what are they? Hmm? Reasons? I don't care what they are. I don't want to hear them."
"Then you won't. But please," she pleaded.
"Do you remember what you did the day you left?" he asked. The Avatar looked down. "I ran up to you and hugged you. I begged you to stay and you know what you did? Nothing. You treated me as if I meant absolutely nothing. You gave me, your son, the cold shoulder. I cried for weeks after you left," he continued, growing colder.
"Let me explain-"
"I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything you have to say," he said as his hand went to his neck. With a tug he broke the string that held his mother's engagement ring and threw it onto the floor. "I wish you would have stayed away from us," he added as he walked away.
Korra froze in her place. Each word echoed in her head and chipped away at her heart. Those words pierced her heart like sharp daggers, leaving a bloody wound in their wake. She felt numb, like she'd been sat in ice cold water for hours. Sure, she'd known it would take time for her family to forgive her, but she never expected such a cold welcome from her son.
Mako knelt next to his wife and pulled her into a hug. She pressed her face against his chest as silent tears came down her cheeks. Korra didn't know how but she had to make it up to her son. She had to show him she wasn't going anywhere. She was done running. Mako scooped Korra up and she smiled as he gave her a quick kiss before heading inside the main house.
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"What do you want?" Mac asked anger in his voice as he turned to face his sister.
"What is your problem?" she yelled at him.
"My problem?" he scoffed. "What is YOUR problem? How can you and Dad just forgive her so easily? After everything she did, after all the time she was gone? You two ran up to her as if she deserved it!"
"Mom deserve our comfort!" she yelled again.
"No she doesn't!"
"Mac," she said softer, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You need to understand that Mom did what she had to do. Remember when we were kidnapped? She stayed behind to save us, to protect us."
He shrugged off her hand. "That was different."
"No it wasn't. Maybe it was longer but the same intention was there."
"Well if you love her so much why don't you go stand by her like a good little girl."
Karah resisted the urge to smack her brother across the face. While their mother had been away she had taken up meditating until her return. It had helped her control her temper but this kid was throwing all those months of meditation down the drain.
"Ugh!" she grunted, exasperated. "Fine! Do what you want! Drown in your hatred for all I care! But I'm warning you. I won't let you hurt Mom's feelings," she said before heading inside.
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"Korra!" the kids called as they made their way to her. Mako put her down and she hugged all the kids, picking them up with no effort.
"We missed you!" Rohan said as she put them down.
"It's been no fun without you around," Ty added .
"I've missed you guys too," Korra said as she kissed all their heads. She looked up and saw her parents. The Avatar immediately ran over to them and they embraced their only daughter with so much love.
"We're glad your home," Tonraq whispered as he kissed her forehead.
"It's good to be back," she whispered.
"I'm going to go get Mac. He'll be happy to see you," Senna started but stopped when she saw the sad expression on her daughter's face. "He saw you already, didn't he?"
Korra slowly nodded. "He doesn't want to see me," she whispered.
The group of kids looked at each other.
"Korra!" Sozi yelled as she and her uncle walked inside the living room. The Avatar smiled and kneeled to embrace the girl. "I'm so happy your back! I want to say how sorry I am for everything that happened."
The Waterbender shook her head. "You don't have to. It wasn't yours or anyone else's fault," she replied reassuringly. Sozi smiled and went after her friends, noticing as they left the room.
"Avatar Korra," Zuko greeted with a smile. She smiled and gave him a hug. For a moment the old Firebender stiffened but returned the embrace.
"Korra?" Tenzin asked as he and Katara went to see what the commotion was. She smiled broadly and ran right into him. He huffed but hugged her tightly.
"It's good to see you again," Katara said as she also embraced her former student.
"Have your children seen you?" the Airbender asked. The Avatar looked down and slowly nodded. He understood and gave her a nod. Mako wrapped his arms around her waist before looking at the crowd.
"I'm going to take Korra home, she needs her rest after the trip she made," he stated. The Avatar smiled. She really was tired. He picked her up again and she let out a laugh as they went back to their house.
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"Mac, why aren't you with Korra?" Ty asked. He looked up and glared at his cousins.
"None of your business." They all gave him a shocked look.
"Hey, what's wrong? I thought you wanted Korra to come back?" Rohan asked confused to why he was acting this way.
"You're right. I 'wanted'. Not anymore."
"Stop being such a dunderhead and forgive her already," Ty said.
He shook his head sadly as he let out a hallow laugh. "You guys don't get it," he began. "She left us. She left me so she could 'clear her head'. But you know why she really left? She was sick and tired of having to care for us."
"That's not true," Sozi said. "Korra needed time to get herself together. It had nothing to do with you two."
"Yeah, Korra never ran away from her responsibilities," Rohan added.
"She has given her life time and time again for you," Ty whispered as well. "She's your mom."
"No," he replied coldly. "She isn't. Not anymore. I hate her and I wish she'd never came back!"
The children took a step back and gave him a shocked look.
"Now if that's all you have to say, leave," he added, his voice still cold as ice. Slowly everyone departed till only a certain airbender was left.
"That's a lie," she whispered. Mac slowly turned to look at her.
"Is it?" he asked. Ty shook her head and turned to leave the little Waterbender alone with his thoughts
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Later that night
Korra looked everywhere for the little Waterbender. She was about to head back to the house when an idea came to her and sure enough she found him sitting on the bluff.
The Avatar sighed heavily and sat next to him. The boy immediately scooted away and made a move to get up but was stopped when his mother placed a hand on his shoulder and gently sat him back down.
"We need to talk," she whispered.
"I have nothing to say to you."
"But I do," she insisted. "Mac, I know you're upset. I know the way I treated you." She paused as she remembered the look on his face. "I need you to understand that I acted that way because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to leave and it only would have delayed the inevitable. I wanted to make it as painless as possible. I know I failed and I'm sorry."
"Are you done?" he asked coldly, not bothering to look at her.
"No."
"Then get on with it so I can leave."
"I don't blame you for being mad," she continued. "You have every right to be. But please, try to understand that it was hard for me to leave you, and I wanted everyday to wake up and see you cuddled up next to me, that huge smile on your face."
"If it was so hard why were you gone for so long?" he asked, turning to face her blue eyes.
"I wanted to make sure that when I came back I was ok. I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had," she replied, moving to place a hand on his cheek but recoiled when he moved his head.
"I watched and heard you crying every day," he started anger in his voice. "I watched how the guilt that you threw upon yourself slowly ate you from the inside out. You didn't think about our pain. You didn't think about my pain. You didn't think about anyone but you!"
Korra flinched at her son's words as she shook her head. "Because I knew I'd failed at protecting you from myself. I didn't want you to see me that way. I love you so much."
"Well you have a funny way of showing it!" he snapped. "You want to know how I feel about you?"
The Avatar slowly nodded, feeling a pit in her stomach.
"I've never hated someone so much in my life, not even Azula. I hate you. And if you're going to make this apology thing a routine, I'm telling you right now you're wasting your time. Stay away from me and I will do the same," he said not a flicker of emotion in his face.
Korra tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Never in her lifetime did she think any of her kids would hate her. Never.
"Now if you will excuse me, Korra." The way he said her name made her wince. "I'm going to bed," he said as he got up. She grabbed his arm.
"You can't-" she began, her voice cracking. He shrugged it away.
"I can't what? Mean it? Sorry to break it to you but I do," he said his voice cold. "I hate you. Get used to it and engrave it in here," he said, tapping her head before walking away.
Korra sat there, feeling like…her whole world had been turned upside down. She felt tears go down her cheeks. The sky darkened and rumbled as rain started to pour down. She looked up as the rain soaked her, blending in with the tears.
"I'm so sorry, Mac," she said to the dark night. She loved her son. She wasn't going to give up that easily. She was determined to show him that she wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't running away from the problem. Not again. The Avatar was determined not to make the same mistake twice.
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Everyone seemed to accept Korra back as the days passed; everyone except Mac. He still refused to talk or even be in the same room as her. The Avatar did everything in her power to talk to him but he would either walk away or yell how much he hated her until she backed off. Each time he said it didn't make it any easier for her . Each time only seemed to make it worse.
The Waterbender sat at the beach looking out to the bay, her head on top of her legs. The sound of sand being crunched made her turn to see a very familiar figure and she managed a small smile.
"Hello, Korra," Katara greeted.
"Master Katara," she greeted back before returning her attention to the waves.
"Have you spoken to Mac?"
Korra sighed and shook her head. "No. He doesn't want to hear what I have to say."
The old master nodded. "He needs time to heal."
The Avatar sighed heavily. "He said he hated me," she whispered, choking slightly. Katara sat next to her pupil and Korra immediately buried her head into the elder's parka, letting tears fall freely. "I've been battered and beaten and tortured till I couldn't move. But hearing him say that…it makes all of that seem so insignificant."
Katara sighed. "Korra, he doesn't hate you," she assured. "He's just confused that's all. The separation was hard on him but he will come to his senses."
The Waterbender nodded and straightened up, wiping away the tears. Katara stood up and gave her a smile before heading inside once again.
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Mac, can I talk to you?" Katara asked as she spotted the little Waterbender outside the main house. He nodded and followed her inside.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" he said as she closed the door to her room.
"I talked to your mother," she began.
"I'm sorry, who?" he asked coldly. The Waterbender stiffened at his comment but continued.
"She's very hurt by what you said. You can't possibly mean that."
"Can't mean what? That I hate her?" Mac asked. "Every word."
"Hate is a very powerful emotion," Katara replied. "I don't think you can feel that way towards your mother, the woman who brought you to this world."
"I didn't ask to be born!" he spat. The elder looked taken aback.
"You know, I still remember the day Korra found out she was pregnant," the Waterbender began with a soft smile. "She was so happy. She understood that there was a possibility she might have a miscarriage, but she told me that that baby was going to make it."
"Where are you going with this?" he asked, his eyes cold.
"Just listen," she patiently replied. "Three months into the pregnancy she had a hemorrhaging incident while taking care of Rohan . We almost lost both the child and her but the baby remained strong, like its mother."
"I've already heard this story."
"Mako and Korra would always bicker about the gender of the baby. Mako insisted the baby was a girl while she insisted the baby was a boy. She always said it was a boy. When she referred to the baby she would refer to it as a 'he' while Mako as a 'she'. Korra wanted a boy so bad, but when she found out she'd had fraternal twins she-"
"Had her happily ever after," Mac commented sardonically.
"She did," Katara admitted. "And she gave her life time and again for her two children. You came down with a fever when you turned one. I feared you might not make it because you were so little. Korra never left your side. She used to carry you around promising so many things if you would get better. She was completely heartbroken by your condition and refused to eat or sleep until you pulled through. I have never seen her so happy when you opened your eyes and smiled at her."
"Promises she didn't keep," Mac muttered, almost inaudibly. "What point are you trying to make?"
"You can say anything you want to Korra. Tell her you hate her if you must, but her love as a mother will never fade away. You are her son, her own flesh and blood. She carried you inside her for almost nine months. She raised you. She is your mother, nothing will ever change that," the elder finished.
"Korra should have thought about that before she left!" he shouted. "She left me and my sister like we were unwanted! What part of that is so hard for everyone around here to grasp?"
"I know how you feel Mac," Katara replied sharply. "My father left my brother and me when the war got out of hand. I was upset with him too. But I forgave him and you need to forgive her too before your hatred consumes you."
"Your father left to protect you from the war; to fight against the Fire Lord."
"Korra left to protect you too and to fight the war that raged in her own heart."
"It's not the same!" he yelled, standing up.
"Mac, calm down," she said, holding her hands up.
"Don't tell me what to do," he replied as he stared at her with icy eyes. "No one, not you, not anyone can change my mind about that woman," he added before running outside.
Katara shook her head sadly. Now she was beginning to understand what Aang had meant when her own heart had been filled with hatred for her mother's murderer.
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Mac was walking along the beach when he noticed the shadow that came and joined his. He narrowed his eyes at it and kept walking until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"What do you want, Korra?" he asked. He felt her cringe at his words.
"I know what you need," she simply said.
The twin turned to face his mother. "What is it you think I need?"
"You need to let it all out."
He narrowed his eyes at her again. "I'm listening."
"I challenge you to a match; just you and me, tonight at midnight."
"You're the Avatar," he stated.
"You have my word I will only use Waterbending," Korra reassured.
"Your word means next to nothing," he coldly stated. His mother flinched. "But I accept the challenge. Though, it'll have to be tomorrow night."
Korra gave him a confused look but slowly nodded. "Tomorrow then. Right here."
Mac nodded curtly. "You can go now." The Avatar gave him another nod before heading back inside.
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Mac, Mom and Dad said to come inside," Karah said as she headed over to her twin who was sitting outside the house. "What are you doing out here anyways?" she asked.
"Looking at the moon," he replied. The little Firebender looked up.
"It'll be full tomorrow," she stated absently.
"I know," the little Waterbender said as he headed inside the house.
Next chapter
It's Mac v.s Korra
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