"Ilyse? Your girlfriend? Ju..Your mom and dad told me about her, seems I owe her many thanks. So, why am I owing her thanks for your lack of anger? What did she do for you that Juno and Josh couldn't do for you? They told me about you playing up too, I probably don't need to tell you to snap out of it though." I was glad that Ken didn't bother lecturing me, mom had just stopped with those lectures over summer break and I was nowhere near ready to hear them from this guy.

"Yeah, my girlfriend. She'll be over later in the week I guess, I'll introduce you. I don't know why you owe her thanks, she just helped me see the bigger picture. That even though my life had a sh*t starting it didn't have to stay so bad. That and she's experienced the same sort of loss that I had. She wasn't preaching or dictating to me." I felt lame explaining this sort of stuff to Kenneth, he was this masculine guy who looked like he could knock you over with the flick of a finger. I doubt he wanted to hear why I had been a douche and how a girl had 'fixed' me and how she'd fixed me.

"I'm sorry about that sh*t start you got in life, your momma didn't tell me about you until you were five and she was in deep by then. She begged me not to interrupt with her life so I didn't...but when I got that phone call I came rushing right back. I kinda panicked when I showed up and you were standing there, your mom wrote me a letter explaining things. At first I was angry, I'd been denied time with you and time with your momma because of that scumbag. But at the same time I was ashamed." I think a lot of what Ken was saying only made sense to him, I swear to god none of it was really making any sense to me but he just kept staring off into the distance like he was remembering something from his past.

"I was ashamed that I hadn't known how bad the situation was for you and your momma, ashamed that I'd been away enjoying my life while you two were living in hell. Ashamed that I'd ruined your mommas life, I got to live with all that sh*t for the rest of my life. Knowing I could easily have stolen you both away and given you both a better life...it'll eat at me every day. I hope you can forgive me one day Keelan, I really do and maybe some day we can have some sort of relationship." The thought of turning Kenneth away didn't sit well in my mind, I think as soon as I'd understood Ilyse and her life I'd made up my mind that if my bio-dad ever came back that I'd give him a chance.

This guy looked like he was suffering, I had the chance to make it better or worse but chose the former.

"If you were angry that you'd been denied time with me...why did you drop me off here? I mean I get that you were in the army and that dad could give me a normal life. But why did you never call or write letters?" The anger that I'd been feeling the other day was long gone, I found that when it came to family and Ilyse that I couldn't maintain any amount of anger or frustration. Was this what being mature was like? Did all mature people let things go?

"I dunno. I never saw myself being the husband or daddy type, so when you popped into the picture I did the first things that popped into my head and that was to unload you onto my brother. I thought that sending letters or calling would upset you and the connections you were trying to build with Josh. But, he did send me update letters and stuff." I guess knowing that Ken had some interest after unloading me was comfort enough.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't remember anything from that time. It's like my brain just blocked it all out, I mean I remember bits and pieces of mom but not a whole lot. I remember you coming to pick me up though, that's sort of one of the first things I remember from back then. Everything before that is kinda fuzzy." If possible I think Kenneth looked relieved, about what I wasn't sure but was sure that I'd find out eventually.

"That's good to know, real good to know. Have you thought about what you're going to do once you leave high school? I promised Juno I wouldn't pester you about it but I'm curious." I had thought about it, I'd thought about it a lot and had settled on my final decision but hadn't actually told anyone else.

"I'm going to enlist in the army, I want to serve our country and I want to follow in your footsteps." The surprise on Ken's face was hilarious, he looked as if someone had punched him hard in the balls and was finding it difficult to breath.

"You obviously haven't talked that through with Josh or Juno, you know they both detest the army...right? Why do you want to follow me?" God, I don't know why I even told Ken about my career path because the reason for joining was stupid.

"Because it seems like a cool job to go into, I get to travel and stay away from home for ages at a time." That wasn't the real reason for why I wanted to join.

When Ken had picked me up that day, he'd been in his camo gear looking like he had either just got back from overseas or was just heading off somewhere. But I remember standing there in awe of this big guy that had come to rescue me from something I couldn't really remember. Just the thoughts of a five year old kid looking up at this guy in uniform, it had stuck with me for that long that it had grown and morphed into something else.

"Well if those are the only reasons you want to go into the military you might want to think again. It's hard work, there are stupid people you have to deal with, you need to have an unbreakable will, no back chatting and most of all no goofing off. It ain't like football practice and your coach is being hard on you. It's worse than that, do you think you could put up with someone constantly yelling at you? Barking orders?" I thought it over, part of me knew I'd find it hard to take orders from douche bags but another part of me wanted to prove to my childhood hero that I could be just like him. I think the bigger part of me wanted to prove to Ken that I could be something just as great as him, I could be proud and capable. I could be dependable...I could be someone he was proud to call his son.

"I think I've got what it takes Ken. I work hard, my grades are high, I can handle sh*t that's thrown at me and I want the adventure." I tried to make that sound more convincing. Thankfully Ken seemed to accept that as he climbed out of the pool. It was weird that we'd been talking while he was still in there, I guess things just weren't normal when it came to him or us.

"Now that's the sort of spirit I like to see. If you need help getting ready for it then I'll help you, all you gotta do is convince your mom and dad that this is what you want as much as you just convinced me. What are you gonna do about your girlfriend, you can't exactly bring her along with you." The mention of Ilyse sorta stalled everything, I couldn't just leave her behind and forget we'd ever had anything.

We'd also never really discussed college or life after high school. Finally deciding on the military I figured it was time I asked Ilyse what she was doing or rather, what she wanted to do. It was good and all being in a relationship but I wasn't so sure that we could make it work long distance.

I had entertained the thought that she move to the town that I was moving to, but part of me wondered if that would hold her back.

"I don't know, I guess I better ask her when next I see her. I think she was looking at going away to college but I'm not sure where to. Do you think we could make it work long distance? Or she could come live where ever I go?" Ken looked a little puzzled at my questions and in the end shrugged his shoulders, which wasn't much help when it came to figuring out my dilemma.

"All I know is this, if she's worth it don't let her go for anything. I had my chance once and I let it stupidly slip away because I wanted to chase my career. Look at me now, I got a seventeen year old kid who doesn't know me and calls my younger brother dad." Yeah okay, that made a lot of sense. But I was sure I wouldn't leave Ilyse pregnant if she married some other guy. She was better than that and I knew I'd never have an affair with a married woman.

But it still left the question of how I was going to talk to her about it.