"Ilyse, can I have a moment of your time?" I swallowed as the nerves suddenly spiked, I hadn't heard Kenneth approaching from behind and nearly jumped out of my skin when he finally spoke. Briefly I wondered where Keelan, Natty and Cal were as the house seemed eerily quiet...too quiet for a family that usually stayed at home during the weekend.

"I won't bite, I promise." The way Kenneth smiled contradicted what he said. His demeanor just felt a little off, I couldn't place it though but nodded my head as I followed after him into the lounge where it was bright and sunny.

I sat down quite a distance away from Ken, he seemed to notice but didn't say anything as he leaned forward and let his elbows rest against his knees. For a few moments he did nothing but stare, the longer he stared at me the redder my face went and the more uncomfortable I felt.

"I know that I haven't been too friendly or open since arriving, call it an old habit that won't die. But, we're here now and I just....I just want to say something." I frowned at Kenneth, I hadn't exactly expected either of us to be sitting in the same room alone for longer than two minuets when I'd first met him. He wasn't who I was interested in and Keelan called him uncle, still I was curious enough to hear what he had to say so sat there.

"If you love Keelan even a small amount I'm begging you to fight for him, make him stay...make him see that his life here with you would be far more exciting than a war zone." Okay, that wasn't what I had expected when Kenneth had asked to speak with me. If anything I had assumed he was going to ask me to dump Keelan faster than a few months, not beg him to stay.

"I had my chance once, long ago. But I threw away my first love like a crumpled bit of paper, she hadn't begged me. But if Esther had begged I would have stayed, I would have been there for her. I'm asking you to do more for Keelan, I know you love him and I know that he loves you. I can't just sit by and watch that beautiful, innocent soul be destroyed by war. Everything good about Esther still lives in Keelan, war is going to wipe that out and I'll never ever see my Esther again." This was all so sudden and heavy, Keelan was so determined to go off and fight for our country but what his father was saying...it made sense but made dread settle in the pit of my stomach.

We both knew that Keelan was going to do what Keelan wanted, everyone else be damned. I knew that what Kenneth was asking was huge, major in fact. I almost didn't want to do it, if it went wrong it meant my heart would likely be shattered into a million pieces but if it went well...if Keelan listened to reason then things had the possibility of turning out better than even I could have imagined.

"I'll try Kenneth but I can't make any promises. Keelan is as stubborn as they come, I won't be able to do it overnight but I can at least try in the few months that we have left." I exhaled loudly as the monumental task began to settle in my mind. Butterflies did cartwheels in my stomach, the dread that had been there was still firmly stuck but it was accompanied by hope and a little bit of excitement.

"That's my girl, I knew you weren't stupid." At that the smile dropped from my face, Kenneth had a way of killing good moods.

"Uh, forget I said that. But I knew that you were smarter than Keelan, he overshot but you...jesus. I'm going to shut it before I get into more trouble. Thank you Ilyse, for listening and for trying. No matter the outcome you have my respect." Something told me that Kenneth wasn't all that good with his words, which was odd as I assumed military men had to be eloquent and know how to string a sentence together without messing it up.

"Good talk, I'll see you around." Kenneth had barely let it sink in, what he wanted me to do, before he stood and left the room. I half thought about voicing that opinion but was too wrapped up in his request to say or do anything.

How in the heck was I going to convince Keelan to stay? I already knew I wasn't good enough, not when it came to the military life. To Keelan that was far more exciting and exotic, it was like our relationship past high school would be some sort of prison to him and I didn't want to be the reason he didn't achieve his dream.

If I fought for him I could see myself ending up with a broken heart and an ocean full of tears but if I broke it off early I felt like Keelan would be the one left crying. Did I want to be cruel? Either decision meant I was going to be cruel to either him or myself...could I deal with hurting him that much?

My mind was suddenly in turmoil as I stood from the sofa and exited the Poller household.

What in the world was I going to do?

I went to bed later that night tossing and turning, no matter which decision I decided to pursue it meant pain and tears for one or both of us. I doubted Keelan loved me enough to stay, I think his love of his dream far outweighed his love for me.

It upset me when I came to that conclusion, I wasn't going to be good enough for him. The longer I thought about it the more I realized it to be true. When I woke in the morning, there were a few facebook messages from Keelan but none of it was too serious or urgent.

Going down to the kitchen I was glad to see dad standing at the counter drinking his usual coffee and half reading his newspaper.

"I need to leave, like in a few days. I need to disappear until the end of high school, I'm an A+ student so I can end the year early if need be. I've already gotten my acceptance letter in to university and I just need to get away. At least until Keelan is gone to the army." Martin lowered his newspaper and eyed me with angry eyes, part of me wondered briefly why he was angry but I'd never seen that expression on his face before.

"Has that boy done something to you? I swear I'll run him through if he has." Mortified I shook my head at the suggestion.

I would go into school this morning, I'd act normal and chat with everyone as normal as any other day. But I'd go to Mrs. Gasfell and beg her to release me early, I'd leave Keelan a letter explaining everything but I couldn't be there when things went south.

"No! No dad, he hasn't done anything. I just can't beg him to stay when I know he won't, I know he won't give up his dream and it's going to hurt too much for me to stay and watch him pick his career over me. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with it. Can I stay at Haversham Bay?" I know Martin said the house was mine but I still felt like I needed to ask.

"Yes, of course you can. The kids have private tutors so we'll pack the entire household up and move out there for the remainder of the school year. But, are you absolutely sure this is what you want to do Ilyse? I know you're only teenagers but the love I've seen between the two of you is much stronger than even you think. Just think it over for the day, please?" I nodded but knew what my decision would be at the end of the day, my mind wasn't going to change...I was going to run.

As had been planned, I went to school with a smile on my face. I hung out with Keelan and Natty, Cal and a newly re-appeared Brock. I chatted as happily as I could, I went to most all of my classes...I wrote Keelan my letter and then when I felt like I had fooled everyone I went to see Mrs. Gasfell.

She of course called Martin to make sure that I wasn't lying about having his support. He must have told her what he was doing, she reluctantly handed me my things so that I could be withdrawn from school and sighed sadly.

"This school is really going to miss you Ilyse, are you sure I can't convince you to stay? You've done more than an average teen would ever do and I can never thank you enough for everything you've done. You're a real shining star in a dark night." I tried to keep myself from crying or tearing up, I still had one more class before I could plant my letter and escape home.

"Mrs. Gasfell...letting me go is enough thanks. I really am sure about my decision, thank you for everything. I really appreciate it." I said before rising from my chair and exiting the room. Okay, so maybe I lied about the last class of the day.

Now that I was officially done with this school I didn't need to stick around. I went straight to Keelan's locker and slipped my letter inside, if he'd dumped his books before the last class then he wouldn't see the letter until tomorrow morning but if he hadn't then he'd see it as soon as he came out of class to grab things from his locker.

As soon as I hear the thud of the letter hit the bottom of his locker I ran, I rand straight out to Martin, Laura and the waiting car that would take me away from all of this.

It felt like a bad nightmare, one that I had orchestrated to maximize pain.

By the time we had pulled out of the parking lot I was crying like a hungry baby, blubbering quietly like a fool in the back seat. I could hear Martin and Laura saying comforting things but none of it sank past the guilt and pain I was currently feeling.

I did this to myself, I did this to us and I'd have to live the rest of my life knowing I had chickened out.

I didn't know if I'd every recover from this but if I did...it would be years down the track.

________________________________

That's it!

That's the ending, sorry it's so sudden but I felt like I needed to end it now or it would just keep on dragging out.

The end is left open like that because there will be a book two!

What do you think of Ilyse and her decision? Did you ever think she was capable of such things? 

Let me know!