If you guys didn't already know, the past chapters were a full letter broken up to match the title. Here's the full letter in case it's easier to read. <3

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Hi, Ashton.

I hope that this is you reading this.

I love you.

And, like, not in the way that you'd think.

I've loved you since I was 18.

I thought it was obvious, the other boys know, but I guess not.

Remember that time you kissed me on my 18th birthday?

Of course you don't, because we were drunk.

You more so than me.

I didn't realize I loved you until the next morning.

You woke up after passing out beside me on the bed, and you couldn't remember a thing from the previous night.

Funny how I realized that I loved you because you broke my heart.

I never kissed anyone again after that, because I was afraid that it wouldn't feel the same.

I was afraid that my heart wouldn't skip eight beats at once again.

Now, it's eight years later, and god is it hard loving you.

First of all, I'm around you all the time, and because you're my best friend, you demand cuddles every night.

But, you don't know that I kiss your forehead or cheek and tell you that I love you once you're asleep.

I know that I should have stopped, but I couldn't help myself, even if there was a voice in my head telling me that "If we were meant to be, we would have been by now."

Luke doesn't like that I've fallen for you.

He's not homophobic by any means, it's just that he thinks it'll tear the band apart.

Which, it probably will.

My parents hardly agreed with me being friends with you, so they'd for sure murder me if we were to get together.

I guess it's a little late for that, though.

They always thought you were bad because your parents were, but I don't care.

I see my heart that you won't give back, so I don't give a flying fuck about what anyone else sees in you.

Oh my god.

Remember that time we were cast for that dance together and we had to pretend we were in love?

Well, I didn't have to pretend, but you did.

You're a really good actor.

That's why I went home crying every day of practice: because it felt so real when you dipped me, and then the song would end and I'd be reminded that it was all fake.

It hurt.

I wish you'd loved me.

Maybe then I wouldn't be writing this letter.

I really don't think that it's so hard to love me, but I guess for you it was.

Of all the girls and boys that have fawned over me in the past years, the one I actually wanted to didn't.

My doctor diagnosed me with insomnia.

I diagnosed myself with overthinking.

Am I weird?

What's wrong with me?

Why won't you love me?

I spent every night replaying questions like that in my head.

I was always so tired going into a concert, but coming out of it, I felt like I was dying.

But I still couldn't sleep.

I don't know how many years it'll take for me to catch up on sleep, but I'll have all the time in the world, so.

"Calum, I love you."

I remember the way my heart skipped when I heard you say that in response to the little girls.

I also remember how it hurt when it dawned on me that it was a joke.

Please don't lie like that.

I have a feeling that I may be wrong about this, but I think that you're gonna realize a lot of things through this letter.

Like how you, maybe, love me.

But it doesn't matter if you do, because it's too late for me to run to you.

This is gonna sound really selfish, but you realized too soon, if you did at all.

You never ran to me before, and now you can't.

It's too late to.

When you go to sleep tonight, tomorrow, in ten years, will you dream of me like how I dreamed of you?

When you stare into space during interviews that you don't want to be at, will you be thinking about me?

Will you be wishing that I'm still here with you?

Well, now you know.

Now you know that I, Calum Hood, was in love with you, my best friend, Ashton Irwin.

You can tell the fans that Cashton was one-sidedly real.

You can tell Luke that I'm sorry if this broke the band apart, but I had to do it.

You can tell Michael that Luke is a complete hypocrite because he's been in love with him forever.

You can tell my family that I love them, and that maybe they were right.

Maybe I shouldn't have been friends with you.

But I know that I'd be stupid enough to go against their warnings every time if we lived another thousand lives.

You can tell the world that I'm free.

You can tell yourself that no matter how much this letter doesn't seem like it, this isn't your fault.

It's not your fault that there's money attached to this to pay for your new car.

It's not your fault that I'm watching your car go up in flames.

It's not your fault that I'm inside it.

It's not your fault that you're a slow reader and that by the time you've gotten to this point, I'm already just a burnt corpse.

It's not your fault that I'm dead.

My heart burnt when I fell in love with you.

I've just taken it up a notch this time.

My last request is that you don't make the same mistakes I did.

If sometime during this, you realised you love me, please don't kill yourself.

If you do, I won't ever forgive you.

If you die naturally, maybe we can be together in the afterlife.

I want you to live a long life.

I want you to remember me, but not all the time.

I want you, Luke, and Michael to become closer than ever.

Please don't let the band fall apart because of my mistakes.

Please don't fall apart because of my mistakes.

I'm at Park Street in case you want to say goodbye, but you don't have to.

I'll always be around to dance with, even if it's just the ghost of me.

I'll love you forever,

Your best friend Calum. <3