Now you're gone.

Trembling, Swallowfern stared at her nest in the nursery. The moss in her place was tidy, but where her four kits always lay, it looked as if a whirlwind had swept through it.

But she never had four kits. There had always been two. Dashkit and Leafkit. Oh, my precious little stars. How could I have lied to you?

She was stupid to believe that RoseClan would forget those tiny, miserable balls of fur that they had rushed to the MoonClan camp one night to look for a nursing queen.

Their desperate meowing was still ringing in her ears. When she closed her eyes, she kept seeing the trembling bundles of fur in front of her. One of them was a dark reddish-golden tabby she-kit, the other one a tortico she-kit with prominently black fur. They were as different as day and night, as the sun and the moon.

From the moment Swallowfern had given them their names - Amberkit and Larkkit - she had been in love.

But every morning she woke up with the dark thought that one day they would have to return to RoseClan, as they had been destined to do from the beginning. Swallowfern knew that she should teach her kit as early as possible. As they began to open their eyes and ears and experiment with their voice, she had practised many times how best to teach them.

Each time she failed.

So her kits and foster kits had lived and played together for two moons without knowing that they weren't related.

Her Clanmates had repeatedly urged Swallowfern to tell them the truth. Only when her kits were two moons old, still young but already one heart and one soul, did she decide to put it behind her.

She knew the kits wouldn't understand. But when Dashkit and Leafkit had hissed at Larkkit and Amberkit and made their disgust known, her heart had shattered into countless pieces.

As luck would have it, a RoseClan patrol turned up at that moment. It was a mystery to Swallowfern what they originally wanted, because as soon as they had learnt that Larkkit and Amberkit knew of their true origins, they had wanted to take them with them.

Now Larkkit and Amberkit had gone with the RoseClan cats, Dashkit and Leafkit had ignored their mother ever since, and Swallowfern felt like the worst queen in the Clans, a piece of crowfood that no one wanted anymore.

Swallowfern slowly lowered her head and sniffed at her nest. The scent of her foster daughters had not yet faded. Her chest felt like it was filled with stones.

It would be best if she just forgot about them. They would forget her too. Swallowfern took a deep breath. They probably can't remember their time in MoonClan by now.

***

Dashkit had been hiding under this bush for a long time. Leafkit had tried to lure her out a few times, but she pretended not to notice.

What had happened? It was only this morning that her life was still in order. Then Swallowfern had claimed that Larkkit and Amberkit weren't hers. She said they were from RoseClan.

You lied to us. Dashkit dug a furrow in the ground with her claws, slowly and precisely, so that she could release all her anger.

"How could you?" she whispered, "Why didn't you tell us the truth before?"

She felt dazed, as if she had just woken up from a deep sleep. Just a pity it wasn't a dream.

Curling up, Dashkit thought of Larkkit, who was always by her side, and Amberkit, who was like invisible most of the time. One day they wouldn't recognise each other, wouldn't remember their time together.

They would be enemies.

***

They all act as if nothing has happened.

Leafkit crouched on a Sunhigh Stone and watched his Clanmates. It was a day as usual. But one thing was different.

Larkkit and Amberkit were gone.

Leafkit had already noticed a few days before that there was something different about them. Their fur was much more downy than his or Dashkit's. Of course, he hadn't thought anything of it. Who would have guessed that Larkkit and Amberkit weren't actually MoonClan cats?

If they had to go back anyway, why didn't anyone tell us? Leafkit looked towards the nursery, where Swallowfern had disappeared. It seemed extremely strange to him. Did they not want to? But then they wouldn't have allowed the RoseClan cats to take Larkkit and Amberkit away so easily.

He thought of Dashkit, who had been ignoring him the whole time. She had never done anything like this before. It was clear that the loss of Larkkit hit her the hardest, after all, the two of them were like burrs.

One day they would meet again, Leafkit was sure of that. But at the same time, he was afraid of it. Things would never be the same again.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. What if Larkkit and Amberkit didn't like it in RoseClan? Maybe they would come back.

Leafkit jumped up and trotted to Dashkit's hiding place. They just had to hope for that.

***

Swallowfern hardly noticed when Sandblossom entered the den. She heard the light red she-cat's pawsteps as she made her way to her own nest.

Meanwhile, it had become darker in the nursery. Blazedew, Dragonflystripe, Spotpelt and Violetwing had recently returned to camp. This meant that Larkkit and Amberkit were already walking through the middle of RoseClan territory.

When she thought about it, Swallowfern shuddered. Her kits alone in this gigantic forest full of dangers.

"How long have you been sitting there?" Sandblossom stalked towards her. "Listen, I understand you're blaming yourself. But that's what happened."

Swallowfern avoided her gaze. She knew that all she would see there was judgement. I'm a bad cat.

Slowly, she straightened up. "I'll never forgive myself for this." She had made a mistake, and she was prepared to accept its consequences.

I hope so.