Owner // Fenrirroar

OC //
Name: Jaywing
Gender: Tom
Rank: Warrior
Clan: ThunderClan
Appearance: Silver tom with grey mackerel tabby stripes and a short tail. He has long, yet strong legs, and thick fur. He has a blue-silver mask going up his chin, around his cheeks, between his ears and around the other cheek to the chin again. He too has a rosy pink nose. He has silver ear fur. Green eyes.
Personality: quick thinker and quite the kind cat. He is stubborn and rude as well, and quite a hard shell to crack through, when you do, you find a gentle cat, who is actually quite soft and vulnerable. He is very snappy when mad, and quiet.
Age: 27 moons(at death)
Family:
Mother: Unknown (deceased)
Father: Brackenleap(alive)
Brother: Ashleap/star(alive)
Mate: Finchfire(alive)
Daughter: Soulkit(deceased)
Son: Larkkit(deceased)
Backstory:
Born to an unknown she-cat and his father, Brackenleap took him to ThunderClan. Jaykit and his brother Ashkit were very close, despite how Jaykit spoke to him. As apprentices, Jaypaw had his mentor, Mistyrun, whom taught him very much. Jaypaw often sought her for guidance. He was visited by the Dark Forest cats, Breezepelt and Nightcloud one night. They asked to train him, and he was accepted as he was jealous of Ashpaw's skills. As well as how close he was with Finchpaw (Finchfire). Jaypaw soon got caught practicing by Finchpaw. She asked him to teach her, and Jaypaw did as he had developed a crush on her. Breezepelt and Nightcloud then visited him and told him to either kill Finchpaw or himself fighting them. Jaypaw fought them. Meanwhile, Finchpaw's mother, Silvereyes, died and visited Ashpaw in his sleep. She brought him to the Dark Forest to save Jaypaw, and they fought off Nightcloud and Breezepelt. The next morning, Ashpaw and Jaypaw had a long talk. Jaypaw told Ashpaw he could have Finchpaw. Ashpaw rejected and told him Finchpaw deserved him. Jaypaw finally gave in after Ashpaw continued to reject. Jaypaw took Finchpaw on a walk to the lake, and told her he loved her. They became warriors and mates. Finchpaw became Finchfire, Jaypaw became Jaywing, and Ashpaw became Ashleap. Soon Jaywing and Finchfire had kits named Larkkit and Soulkit. About a moon after they were born, they were taken by a fox. As Finchfire weeped, Jaywing went out to find them alone. He found their bodies, and he was killed by the fox as well. He went to the Dark Forest. After Ashleap, now Ashstar, became mates with Finchfire, Silvereyes came to the Dark Forest where Jaywing was and used to her life to bring him back as one of their kits.

Reviewer // Morning🌟

| Creativity |

His name is quite common, so I suggest changing that. ThunderClan, like his name, is also overused Clan wise.
I do like how he is a Tom though, good job on that. Jaywing becoming part of the Dark Forest is not too original. However, him going when he dies is, as most characters are redeemed. Him being reincarnated is something that I don't really think makes sense. Why would Silvereyes reincarnate someone in the Dark Forest? Why would he be so important to that to happen? His kits dying from a fox is also a good addition to his backstory.

| Opinion |

Overall I think he is a good OC. He just needs some tweaking. While he does to seem be a male version of Ivypool, so I would try to be unique more often with him. Jaywing, like I said before, should probably changed to something different that is not as common. For his Clan, WindClan or ShadowClan would work just as well. His appearance is also good, you don't see a lot of tom OCs that look like that.