Snow drifted slowly and silently to the ground. It was quiet. So quiet. Iceslide lay in the snow near the side of the clearing, looking ahead dully.

Several days had passed since the last attack. The clan was constantly on guard now. The warriors were practicing battle moves and discussing tactics and ways to avoid trouble with the rogues, while apprentices and queens were very jumpy at the slightest noise, terrified of being attacked again.

Shimmerstar had lost another life in the battle, and cats were very worried that she was on her last life. She'd spent the last few days in her den, refusing to see anyone. 

"She must be afraid of losing her last life," Ravenfeather had commented scornfully. "Why else would she hide away at a time like this?"

Vixenwhisper had jumped to her defense. "She's lost her mate and both her kits, in case you forgot! She's grieving."

The black tom had growled. "Her clan should be put first."

"And what if she is on her last life? What if she dies?" Heronleg had asked anxiously. "Frostedcloud would never make it to the moonstone without being attacked by the rogues. Then we'd be leaderless!"

Otterpelt had begun taking on the responsibilities of being sole medicine cat of her clan. She seemed lost and deep in grief for Maplesky. But she was carrying out her regular duties and checking on every cat as often as possible. She seemed to avoid Iceslide at all costs. He knew that she had foreseen what would happen. She knew everything was his fault.

"Hey." 

Iceslide glanced over and saw Winterlight settle beside him. "Hey," He murmured.

It was quiet for a moment. "It's terrible, isn't it?" She murmured sadly. "It's a mess."

"It is. And it's my fault." Iceslide meowed quietly.

Blizzardfur was padding across the clearing with Troutspots. When he spotted Iceslide, he narrowed his eyes and lashed his fluffy tail before looking away and continuing onward. Troutspots bared his teeth at Iceslide before following.

They hate me. Iceslide thought. And they have every right to. The whole clan had grieved deeply for Coralshine. Heartsong had told the clan how she and Creekleap had fought bravely to defend the nursery. They'd given their lives for the queens and kits. Blizzardfur argued that Coralshine should have been in the nursery with the other queens, but every cat knew that she would have rather fought to protect the kits.

There was some good news in the days since the battle. Arcticblaze, Dovewhisper, and Risingmoon had become warriors, and Dipfoot and Shallowpool's kits had begun their training. 

Winterlight had become mentor to Ruskapaw, and she seemed very proud and excited. This was the life she wanted, not with kits of her own, but to train others and fight for her clan.

Just last night, Cherryberry had given birth to her kits. She'd named them Lemonkit and Rainkit, and though she missed Divetail and wished he could be there, she saw him in their kits and it comforted her. Heartsong was very supportive and kept her company often.

The news of Sunripple's death had shocked the clan. Iceslide had decided to lie, saying that they'd been hunting together when they'd been ambushed. It would have been much worse if they knew the truth.

Winterlight watched Blizzardfur walk away, then turned to Iceslide. "He'll recover," She meowed quietly. "He just needs time."

"Time doesn't change the fact that Coralshine is dead," He pointed out. "He's right to blame me for it."

She shook her head. "Any cat who blames you is mouse brained. You didn't kill anyone, they did."

It was silent for a while before Iceslide spoke. "Thanks, Winterlight. You're the only cat who doesn't hate me."

"You're my brother." She licked his ear reassuringly. "How could I ever hate you?"

Iceslide sighed and rested his chin on his paws. His sister rested her head on his shoulder, and he closed his eyes. I should be the one dead. Not anyone else.

***

He found himself standing on the frozen river again. He looked around slowly. It was silent, and there wasn't another cat in sight. The ground was blanketed with snow, and the air was so cold it chilled him to the bone.

"Hello?" He called warily, shuddering. He couldn't help but feel like he was being watched.

Suddenly, he became aware of something wet under his paws and blinked, looking down. He let out a cry of horror. A thick pool of blood was spreading under him, oozing across the ice. As his heart raced, he looked up and gasped.

He was surrounded by the bodies of dead cats, laying on the ice, their fur streaked with blood. His eyes darted around at them. Creekleap... Grayshadow... Whitedapple... Maplesky... Lilynose... Frozenripple... He grew dizzy as he took in the bloody corpses, staggering backwards.

His paws slipped and he shrieked as he fell forward, his chin and chest slamming into the layer of blood. "Gah!" He cried and staggered frantically to his paws, hot blood dragging at his fur.

"What have you done? What have you done?"

"You fool!"

"Murderer!"

The ghostly whispers echoed around him and he backed away in terror, only to step on Salmonstripe's body. He spun and leaped backwards. "I'm sorry!"

"You've destroyed everything!"

"You've doomed the forest!"

"Everything you love is gone!"

The whispers rose into furious wails and screeches that whistled like heavy wind around him. Iceslide wailed and cowered to the bloody ice, the stench of blood filling his nose. "I'm sorry!" He cried. "I'm sorry! I-"

***

"Iceslide!"

He gasped and jerked awake in his nest, breathing hard. Frostedcloud was standing over him, looking startled. "What's wrong with you?" The deputy exclaimed.

"I-I- nothing." Iceslide's fur slowly flattened, the nightmare still fresh in his mind. His bones tingled with fear. "I-I was having a nightmare."

Frostedcloud's eyes narrowed. "Worse than the one we're in?" He paused, then spoke. "I want you to go on the dawn patrol. The others are waiting for you."

He nodded and watched as the deputy turned and padded out of the den. It was just a nightmare... It wasn't- He broke off his thoughts, and his heart sunk as he faced a terrible truth. It was real. Everything about it was real. Those cats died, and their blood is on my paws. He let out a slow sigh and shakily stood, giving his shoulder a few licks before he slipped out of the den.

He didn't look up as he padded across the clearing toward the others. He raised his head when he reached them and felt his stomach churn. Blizzardfur was there, along with Perchstripe and Warmmoss. Troutspots was there with his apprentice, Eelpaw.

The second Blizzardfur caught sight of him, his fur bristled. "What's he doing here?" He glared over at Frostedcloud. "I don't want to be anywhere near him."

"You will patrol with whoever I say," Frostedcloud growled. "That's final."

Iceslide glanced at his brother apologetically, his heart aching. I'm sorry. I'd stay away if I could. Blizzardfur glared at him coldly, then looked away. He noticed that Warmmoss and Troutspots were also giving him looks of disapproval. But they said nothing.

"Let's go," Troutspots meowed and headed for the stepping stones, and the others followed him out of camp.

***

The sky was bright now. They were about halfway done remarking the SkyClan border now. Iceslide felt very awkward and uneasy. Only Perchstripe acknowledged him now and then. Warmmoss and Blizzardfur kept ahead of the patrol, purposely avoiding him. Troutspots was busy speaking to Eelpaw, testing his apprentice and showing him the border.

"Do you think the border is fresh enough?" Troutspots prompted, flicking his tail.

Eelpaw hesitated and sniffed the air. "Yes?"

Troutspots shook his head. "Not quite. A few patches of grass are still faint."

They continued onward, and Iceslide tailed the group, his head low. He felt like there was no way out of this depression and pain. There was no way to fix everything he'd destroyed. He glanced up at Blizzardfur. My own brother hates me.

Warmmoss suddenly raised her head sharply. "Troutspots." She meowed lowly.

Beside her, Blizzardfur looked at her questioningly, and Troutspots turned away from his apprentice to respond. "What is it?"

"I smell-"

A golden brown blur shot out of the bushes and lunged for Troutspot's neck, thrusting him into the snow. The tom yowled out in shock as Poisoned Sap sank her teeth into his neck. As she raised her head from the dead cat and snarled, her lips dripping with blood, several more rogues leaped out at them from behind her.

"No!" Iceslide screeched and crouched to leap at her, but weight cannoned into his side, rolling him into the snow. Claws dug into his shoulders, and he looked up to see Oil Tail sneering down at him, piercing blue eyes gleaming as he raised a paw and slashed at his face.

He huffed and kicked Oil Tail hard in the stomach, sending him reeling backwards into the snow. He scrambled to his paws and saw Warmmoss and Eelpaw fighting Dark Hawk and Heart Burn, while Blizzardfur grappled with Glass Face. 

"Fox-hearted fleabags!" Warmmoss shrieked as she thrust Heart Burn to the ground and slashed at her ear. Beside her, Eelpaw gasped as he was pinned by Dark Hawk. The black tom lunged for the apprentice's neck. 

No! Iceslide leaped on Dark Hawk and bit into his shoulder, snarling, but the rogue easily threw him off, and he landed on his back in the hard snow, gasping at the impact. He staggered to his paws, dazed. 

Blizzardfur was slashing at Glass Face, knocking him to the ground. Suddenly his eyes flashed to Iceslide, and he gasped. "Iceslide!" He yowled.

What? He started to look over his shoulder, but Blizzardfur shot forward and thrust him into the snow. Suddenly the weight vanished, and he heard his brother yowl in pain. He got up to see Poisoned Sap snarling and biting at Blizzardfur's neck. 

"No!" He started toward his brother, but Glass Face and Dark Hawk attacked him, and pain seared through him as they slashed and clawed at him. Iceslide struggled, but grew weaker and weaker, and the world began to fade.

***

"Iceslide? Iceslide, please wake up!"

What..? He slowly opened his eyes, feeling cold and numb. He moaned in pain and looked up slowly. Warmmoss was standing over him, her pale eyes lit with desperation. Her fur was clotted with blood.

"Thank StarClan, you're alive!" She sighed in relief. "I thought I was the only one..."

Iceslide slowly pushed himself out of the snow, wincing as pain shot through his hind leg, and he almost collapsed again. But he regained his balance and looked at her. "What happened...?" He croaked. His whole body ached. He felt wet, but couldn't tell if it was snow or blood.

The brown and white she-cat dropped her gaze, and he slowly looked around, inhaling sharply. Troutspots... Eelpaw... And... His heart skipped a beat when he saw his brother laying motionless in the snow. Blizzardfur...

He gave his life to save me from Poisoned Sap... Even though he blamed me for Coralshine's death, he was willing to... He staggered, and Warmmoss limped to his side, letting him lean on her.

"Let's get back to camp," She rasped. "We have to tell the clan."