How Dovewing Really Accepted Bumblestripe to be her Mate in Bramblestar's Storm

Dovewing: Tonight I should see Tigerheart... and tell him I wanna be mates with him!!

Tigerheart: *comes out of shadows* But I already know. Seriously, Dove, everyone does.

Bumblestripe: *attacks him* GETYOURFILTHYPAWSOFFOFMYMATE!!!

Dovewing: BUMBLESTRIPE, STOP!!! THAT'S MY MATE YOU'RE ATTACKING!

Tigerheart: Yeah, you mistake of a cat! Get off of me!

Bumblestripe: But I was your mate, Dovewing! That's the only way this can all work out!

Dovewing: But I don't love you! I love Tigerheart! The warrior code can't stop that!

Bramblestar: But I can.

Squirrelflight: Seriously, Dovewing, we all know what you really did with your powers.

Tigerheart: YOU WERE SPYING ON ME???

Dovewing: But I spied on everyone! Just to make sure they were safe!

Tigerheart: THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! *stalks away*

Bumblestripe: I guess you only have me now, huh?

Dovewing: *sighs* Fine. You can be my mate.

Bumblestripe: REALLY? GREAT! ^0^

Dovewing: We wish you a happy Valentine's Day, I guess...

Why Leafpool, Nightcloud, and Feathertail Should Never Meet

Feathertail: Maybe I should visit Crowfeather... He loved me, after all! *goes to WindClan*

Leafpool: Hmm... Maybe I should go to Crowfeather and tell him our relationship never worked out. *also goes to WindClan*

Nightcloud: Maybe I should ditch this hunting patrol and go to Crowfeather's just to annoy him. >:3 *goes to Crowfeather*

All three she-cats: HEY CROWFEATHER!

Crowfeather: Feathertail? Leafpool? Nightcloud? What are you all doing here??

Feathertail: I wanted to visit you and assure you I was happy!

Leafpool: I wanted to tell you our relationship didn't work out at all!

Nightcloud: I wanted to annoy you!

Leafpool and Feathertail: *stares at her*

Leafpool: *clears her throat* There's only one way to find out who can leave this moor alive...

Feathertail: Though I'm already dead!

Nightcloud: You can be killed twice if you're a StarClan cat hare-brain. You can still evaporate into nothingness and can't be remembered.

Leafpool: Like Spottedleaf.

Feathertail: True.

Nightcloud: The term YOLO isn't true for cats.

Feathertail: Anyway, we need to fight!

Leafpool: YEAAH!

Crowfeather: She-cats, she-cats, I'm sure there's a better way for--

Nightcloud: Shut it, Crow. Okay, on three! THREE!

Leafpool: *bails out at the last moment and runs away* OUR RELATIONSHIP NEVER WORKED OUT CROWFEATHER!!!

Feathertail and Nightcloud: ...Leafpool's the one who caused the term 'scaredy-cat' to crop up.

Crowfeather: *sighs*  And I loved her.

Nightcloud: *spits* And the saying 'don't let a crow cross your path or you'll die an early death' came from Crowfeather.

Feathertail: I'm still gonna shred you someday, Nightcloud! *unsheathes claws as she disappears*

Crowfeather and Nightcloud: ...

Crowfeather: Happy Valentine's Day, I guess. Don't have one like mine, kids.