(Back a few hundred years back)

Jay Wing: Oi! Sista! Get in the bunker! A war has been staged!

Dove Wing: Jay Wing! What kept you, laddy?

Jay Wing: A foolish Twoleg corpse was chasing away all the prey, so I had to go and drag it off. Look, Stoneteller yowled his battle cry! Quick! Inside!

Dove Wing: Mum's paying for ya to take care of me, am I right, mate?

Jay Wing: ...Maybe...

Dove Wing: ...

Jay Wing: JUST GET IN THE BUNKER!!!!!

~Inside~

Half Moon: Jay Wing! Thank God you're safe! I would kill myself if anything happened to you!

Somebody I Used to Know: YO! LADDIES! EBOLA IS STRIKING US!

Jay Wing: Ebola...? This is worse than I thought!

Dove Wing: What? What's Ebola?

Jay Wing: Never mind what Ebola is! We need to get away, fast and safely!

Dove Wing: But we need to know the enemy before we fight it!

Jay Wing: They didn't say that when somebody has breast cancer!

Dove Wing: What does the doctor say? AYYYYYY YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

Jay Wing: I'm sexy and I know it.

Stoneteller: SHUT YOUR FLAPPING GUMS. Ebola is drawing neigh.

Jay Wing: *horrifed gasp*

Dove Wing: What's Ebola?

Stoneteller: There! Ebola! CHAAAARGE!

*everyone rushes forward*

Dove Wing: AHH! MY HIGH HEELS!

Jay Wing: Don't be cray-cray! High heels are not invented in this time!... Were they?

Dove Wing: IN MY WORLD THEY ARE.

Jay Wing: This is reality! Oh, look! Ebola! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR ALL OF THOSE LIVES YOU TOOK.

Dove Wing: WAIT, BRAH!

Jay Wing: I got you now, Ebola!

Ebola: *turns around* Choose your next words carefully, Jay Wing. They may be your last as king.

Jay Wing: *thinking* I ain't no king! *unsheathes claws and bares teeth*

Ebola: Madman! You're a madman!

Jay Wing: Earth and water? You'll find plenty of both down there.

Ebola: No tom, Disease or Tribe, no tom threatens a messenger!

Jay Wing: You are not a messenger! You are a murderer! You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my cats with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Killer. Perhaps you should have done the same!

Dove Wing: *secretly reaches for popcorn*

Ebola: This is blasphemy! This is madness!

Jay Wing: Madness? THIS. IS. EBOLAAA! *kicks her down the well*

...

Jayfeather: *closes the book* That's how I defeated Ebola.

Kits: ...