Snowpaw: Mama, today's Easter!

Brightheart: What are you talking about, Snowpaw?

Dewpaw: He's right, Mom. Today's Easter.

Cinderheart: *talking to her kits* Today is when we celebrate--

Lionblaze: We celebrate Jesus Christ.

Fernkit: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!

Hollykit: Jesus Christ, it's Easter!

Cinderheart: Stop saying Jesus Christ that way!!!

Hollykit: *looking puzzled* What? We're showing our RESPECT!!

Lionblaze: That's something Hollyleaf would say... *sighs*

Jayfeather: *marches out of his den and yells* BRAMBLESTAR, STOP FEEDING EVERYBODY CATMINT CANDY! IT'S DRIVING THEM CRAZY!!!

Molewhisker: Catmint candy... Candy made of catmint... YES... *passes out*

Bramblestar: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jayfeather: Purdy ate one piece and he's practically on his deathbed!

Purdy: *wheezes* I'm a goofy goober... YEAH... you're a goofy goober YEAH... you're a goofy goober YEAH... we're all... goofy... goobers... YEAHHHH... goofy... goober... goofy goober... YEAH! *dies*

Bramblestar: It was his time anyway.

Yellowfang: *appears behind Purdy and talks in a deep gangster-like voice* Yo, man, we ain't dealing with this jacked-up dude. It ain't his time yet, and we can't send him back to life! Ugh, kits these days! Disturbs my peace and quiet...

Purdy's Spirit: *dancing up into StarClan* GOOFY GOOBER, ROCKS! WE'RE ALL GOOFY GOOBERS, ROCK!

Rock: Sup. *eats some chocolate*

Midnight: Me probably a foreign badger. Or maybe all badger just have bad grammar. Midnight sad. D:

Rock: *hands her some chocolate* It'll probably kill ya.

Midnight: Some Twoleg will probably write a fanfiction about this called The Chocolate Fic.

Me: *dashes in front of them* WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, SOMEBODY ACTUALLY DO THAT! PLEASE. I'LL REWARD YOU.

Rock: Oh StarClan. This chick.

Me: Please. *disappears*

BACK AT THUNDERCLAN!

*Everybody's jacked up on catmint candy except Jayfeather*

Jayfeather: *sighs* ...Don't do drugs, kids. Or catmint candy.

Lilyheart and Cherryfall: *singing in a horribly high-pitched, off-tune voice* IIIIIIIIIII LOVE CANDY! IIIIIIIII LOVE CANDY!

Jayfeather: *whacks them with a frying pan* SHUT YOUR FACES, I'M TRYING TO END THIS WITH SOME GOOD MEDICINE CAT ADVICE!

Briarlight: *sighs* I wish he could be mine...

Half Moon: *appears* Hey, he's mine, sista.

Briarlight: No way, José. He's MINE.

Half Moon: NO, MINE!

*ThunderClan crowds around them*

Bramblestar: Chick fight!

Squirrelflight: Yeah, Briarlight, drop it like it's HOT!

Bluestar: *breaks down the camp entrance* HALT! THIS IS THE STARCLAN POLICE. WE'RE ARRESTING YOU ALL.

Firestar: WOOP WHOOP, THIS IS THE SOUND OF THE POLICE! WOOP WOOP!

Sandstorm: FIRESTAR! *cries a waterfall*

Mistystar: *plucks a fish out of Sandstorm's tears*

Fish: Yo, dude, I'm not even supposed to live here.

Mistystar: Why not?

Fish: This is SALT water. This is a cat's TEARS.

Mistystar: *drops the fish* Bye-bye, Sandstorm's-tears-fish.

Fish: See ya. *dies*

Me: *walks in the spotlight* Now you can see why the four warrior Clans shouldn't celebrate Easter... I hope you had a good one, though! Bye!

*Curtains drop*