Squirrelflight: Hey, Jay, can I borrow your phone?

Jayfeather: *looks up from an intense session of Flappy Bird* Why?

Squirrelflight: I just need to take a selfie real quick!

Jayfeather: No.

Squirrelflight: D: Why noooot??

Jayfeather: Because you ain't my momma.

Squirrelflight: WAHHHHHH!!!!! *runs away*

Jayfeather: *strokes the phone* My Squirrelflight hate comments are safe with you, my sweet.

Siri: Why, thank you.

Squirrelflight: *goes to ShadowClan* SPOILER ALERT, ROWANSTAAAR!!

Rowanstar: ATTACK THE THUNDERCLAN SCUM! SNUFF OUT THE UNCLEAN, SNUFF OUT THE UNNECESSARY! SNUFF OUT THE UNWORTHY, AND YADA YADA YADA!!

Tawneypelt: YES, I LOVE BLACK BUTLER! *makes out*

Tigerheart: WAIT, STOP, STOP!

*Everyone stops*

Tigerheart: First... let's take a selfie.

ShadowClan: *crowds around for a selfie*

Squirrelflight: Can I be in the selfie, too?

Littlecloud: No way, girl, you ain't part o' ShadowClan, you can't be a part of no selfie! Get the heck out!

Squirrelflight: ;__; *runs to WindClan*

Squirrelflight: Onestar, I really, REALLY need a phone to take a selfie with.

Whitetail: I have this really cool phone! *hands her a really old phone*

Squirrelflight: I AIN'T A PART OF THIS SYSTEM! AND I THROW IT ON THE GROOOOUND! *throws the phone on the ground and it breaks in slow-motion*

Onestar: Okay, now GET OUT, BEFORE MY MEDICINE CAT SHREDS YOUR FUR OFF!

Kestrelflight: Wait, what?

Onestar: Nobody really cares about you, so I tried to make you seem more interesting.

WindClan: OOOOOOOHHHH NEED SOME HERBS FOR THAT BURN????

Squirrelflight: So no one will help me?

Kestrelflight: * sighs and observes her* You seem to have a serious case of Selfieitis.

Squirrelflight: Selfieitis?

Kestrelflight: You're basically addicted to selfies.

Squirrelflight: Nonsense! It's just that my beautiful body and fabulous face needs to be treasured 24/7!

Crowfeather: I cheat on she-cats like the fox-heart I am. :D

Onestar: *slaps a rabbit in his face* No one asked about your life story! Now stop talking!

Crowfeather: But whatever I say is pure gold and should be heard because I am so awesome and so important!

Onestar: Aye-aye-aye, you sound just like Kestrelflight...

Kestrelflight: HEY!!

Squirrelflight: Whatever. Hashtag SELFIE YOU SOON! *goes to RiverClan*

Mintfur: *slaps her with a wet fish*

Squirrelflight: *dumps a cake on her head*

Mintfur: AAAHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?! *sparks electric sparks and goes all cockamamie* INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT. CODE RED, CODE RED. *dies*

Mistystar: Wait... my warrior was the intruder system from SpongeBob??? I always knew there was something off about her...

Reedfeather: I shared tongues with her, and she always had abnormally tough bones that were wires and her fur was cold...

Willowshine: *zooms out* Whenever she got a cut, there was wire poking out.

Mistystar: And you didn't tell me???

Willowshine: I was too busy thinking about Jayfeather. //>^<\\

Mothwing: Don't try to even deal with him. He's a player.

Squirrelflight: No, he just loves a dead cat. No biggie.

Willowshine: *eye twitches* He... loves... A DEAD CAT????!!! OVER ME?!

Mothwing: Jealous Willowshine is jealous.

Willowshine: *somehow gets a voodoo Jayfeather doll* You will love me or SUFFER!!! *sticks a needle in his tail*

Meanwhile, in ThunderClan...

Jayfeather: *feels a pain in his back* Ow, my back is killing me...

Cinderheart: Do you have an ache or something?

Jayfeather: Maybe...

Cinderheart: Do you want me to give you a massage?

Lionblaze: Oh, no, sweetie, my brother's a player. You don't wanna interact with him.

Jayfeather: How am I a player??? I'm a medicine cat!

Briarlight: *eyes fly open* I sense... a certain fishy medicine cat trying to make Jayfeather love her by using a voodoo doll. THIS MUST BE DEALT WITH AT ONCE! *drags herself to River--*

Squirrelflight: Um, yeah, that's great and all, but I really need a phone to take a selfie with.

Briarlight: Squirrelflight! How did you get here?

Squirrelflight: Mistystar slapped me with a fish so hard I flew in the sky until I landed here.

Briarlight: So the lesson is: If you're addicted to selfies, you'll get slapped with a fish.

Squirrelflight: Amen, brotha!

Oh my StarClan, I am soooooo sorry for not updating this book in over a month!!! I know, I'm terrible, I won't even try to make any excuses. Hopefully this chapter made up for all that. We chill?

Hopefully this chapter of Warrior Spoofs made your day, and once again I am extremely sorry for the lack of updates.

~D0veWing