Raphael circled half the pillows on the floor before choosing the seat across from her.

"Are those edible?" He asked, looking at the plates that had been pushed to the side of the table.

Leyla considered not responding, then pasted a smile on her face. "They are delicious."

"You're a terrible liar," Raphael snorted.

"And yet, you never seem to believe me."

The dig hit its mark, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. "And, what did your Alec want to speak to you about?"

Her eyes flew up to his face, but he was poking at the plate of green goop with a fork. Had he been wondering about that since this morning?

"Never mind, it's none of my business." He went on, turning his attention to the pink pickles. "This smells as bad as that green stuff, what is this?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, surprised at his strange mood. He seemed less rigid than usual; a little easier to read. "If you're hungry, just hold your nose and eat it."

"Gabriel often used that technique," he smiled, pushing the plate of pickles away.

"Who's Gabriel?"

Raphael's hand stilled for a moment, then he was pulling the next plate of strange looking food towards himself. "My brother."

"You have a brother?" Leyla's eyebrows lifted in surprise. 

"I had a brother," Raphael put his fork down, his expression inscrutable when he looked at her with his golden gaze. "He died a long time ago."

Leyla bit her lip, wishing she had kept her mouth shut. To others he might look unfazed, but she knew him well enough now to see the tells: the slight tightening of his jaw, the way he held his shoulders back a fraction more than usual, this was a topic that pained him.  "I'm sorry, Michael never mentioned, so I didn't know..."

"You couldn't have known," Raphael gave her a sad smile, then picked up the fork once more to eat from the closest dish. There was a long silence, then to Leyla's surprise he continued talking: "After Gabriel's death, the Leader forbid the mentioning of his name. All of his portraits were removed, his room was cleared out and his clothes burned. The fact that Teacher had born twins and not the single son, always disturbed my father, so he took the opportunity to make it like Gabriel had never been. If it wasn't for Annabelle, it would really have felt like he never existed."

Annabelle? It wasn't the time to indulge in her anger over his mistress, so Leyla attempted a smile. "It must be nice to have someone you can speak to about anything."

Raphael raised a quizzical brow. "The only thing Annabelle and I talk about it Gabriel."

Leyla's expression must have given away her confusion, because Raphael sighed: "Annabelle was Gabriel's fiancé. My brother was a few minutes older than me and thus meant to be Prorex and she, his wife." He stared at the green goop on his fork for a long moment, then looked up at her and took a slow breath, "One night, only days after their engagement festivities had ended, I got sick with a disease none of our healers recognised. The Leader was meditating in the mountains, Teacher was in the White Gardens. I lost consciousness and seeing me burning with fever, Gabriel took it upon himself to ride out to the Giant Forest to procure medicine from the Heka." Leyla watched the green goop slide off of his fork, her heart constricting at the pain in Raphael's voice. "He was scared that something might happen to me, so he refused to take the longer path around active No Lander territory."

It was not difficult to imagine what had happened next. No Lander scouts would have spotted Raphael's brother and his soldiers riding into their lands and set an ambush with three times the number of men.

Raphael's fingers tightened around his fork, then he put it down slowly. With a steady voice and a far away look in his eye, he went on: "One of Gabriel's guards made it back alive. He had watched my brother and eight others die, but we never managed to find their bodies."

Leyla swallowed hard. If they left no bodies, then the group must have fallen into the hands of Bone Eaters. The most vicious of known No Lander tribes, they used the bones of those they killed to decorate everything from their horses bridals to their sword handles. Raphael must know that and the thought of his brother's remains being used in that way...Leyla reached out, wanting to console him somehow, but managing only to hold his hand.

Raphael looked at their joined fingers , then lifted his gaze to hers. She didn't have to hear the words to recognise what he was feeling; guilt. The Prorex believed his brother had died because of him, but that was not the truth. 

"When you were sick, were you capable of standing?" she asked suddenly.

Raphael frowned at her strange question. "No."

"Then you couldn't have raised a sword?"

His frowned deepened, "What are you getting at, Leyla?"

She drew her hand back and looked him squarely in the eyes. "You obviously loved your brother. If it was him lying sick under the same circumstances, you would have gone to get him medicine. Unable to fight you, not even capable of standing, he would not have managed to stop you even if he wanted to, isn't that right?"

Raphael didn't respond, but he didn't protest either.

"Since you could not have physically stopped Gabriel even if you wanted to, there are only two ways for you to claim some responsibility in what happened. First, if you plotted to get sick on purpose so that your brother had to out to fetch medicine." Raphael's answering scowl made her point aptly. "Second, if you believe your brother made an error in judgement due to his love for you." Leyla tapped her fingers on the table, thinking it through. "You might suppose that you made your brother love you, so if that affection led him to make a judgement error, it would make you somewhat responsible..."

Raphael's narrowed eyes showed just how ridiculous he found both her suggestions: "Do you have a point?"

"Yes," Leyla nodded. "You had no control over your illness and Gabriel made no error in judgement. Your life was under threat and there was a high chance you would not make it without medicine. Someone had to go to get that medicine and the Healers would act faster when faced with the Leader's son rather than an envoy. As for the route he took - he weighed the danger to you of lengthening his trip with the chances of an ambush and gambled."

Raphael was listening to her without a word, his expression inscrutable so Leyla had no idea if she was getting through to him, but she had to try. Seeing him hurting was...surprisingly upsetting.

"Do you understand what I'm saying? There is no logic in feeling guilty." Leyla took his hand once more, feeling the tension beneath her fingers. "You are one of the smartest people I've ever met, Raphael, and far too smart to believe in something that makes no sense. You must realise that feeling guilty is the same thing as looking down on your brother's actions and feelings." 

A silence followed her proclamation and Leyla wondered if perhaps she had gone too far. The breeze passed over the table, playing with the ends of her hair. 

"This must be why Alec can't forget you." Raphael said at long last. His gaze was intense, his fingers gripping her hand as he smiled, "Why can't you ever do or say the expected?"

"What - what do you mean?" The mood had suddenly changed setting her on edge.  

Raphael leaned forward suddenly, his palm cupping her face. He was gazing at her with the same predatory look he had given her back at the rock pool outside of the White Gardens. Heat rising to her cheeks, Leyla pulled away then watched him rise and take a step towards the stairs.

"I shouldn't have allowed that bastard to speak to you alone. These feelings are making me lose all reason." He took another step, his long coat twirling around his calves as he halted once more. "I will see the Warrior King off alone. Stay in the keep, and don't do anything foolish."

Leyla watched him until he had crossed the bridge and disappeared out of sight, then she picked up the dark glass jug and poured herself some wine.