TW: This chapter includes mention of murder, depression and trauma. Read at your own discretion.

***

His head was bowed low as he knelt in front of the two graves holding the last remains of his parents. 

He had never felt so hopeless before. But after seeing his father meet his end while he couldn't save him harrowed him up from the inside out.

His left arm and torso were littered with cuts as a constant reminder of the dreadful night of that attack. He had tried his best to hold his ground, to fight back and keep his people safe but as he was protecting the children from getting hurt, he saw his father being attacked too.

Ryuu had almost jumped in between, trying to take that hit for himself and the opponent's sword had almost slashed his arm off. But Sota had pushed him away to keep him safe and right next moment, that sword had plunged through the old man's heart.

He was at heart a protector but seeing his father meet his end thus had shaken him up badly.

And perhaps in retaliation, his sword had struck the opponents without him holding back in order to refrain from giving pain.

He hated giving pain but he hated bearing it too. And right then his whole existence had been shaken up, with the man he looked up to dying in front of him.

That night he had driven out the assassins but it had shaken up his people as well to see him fight like a wounded beast. Ryuu Ishikawa was the most gentle person they had known yet his father's death and his own helplessness in trying to save him had spurred him to that terrifying state.

After the attack, he had diligently spent the remainder of the night and the next day patching up his people but without caring that his own wounds needed looking after too. He was bleeding and bruised too but he kept taking care of the others, ignoring his own condition.

Keiji had tried his best to convince him to get himself treated but his words fell on deaf ears. It wasn't until he had finally passed out from exhaustion that Keiji tried his best to patch up his bleeding wounds.

But ever since that attack, Ryuu had been in a pitiful state. And though a week had passed, he hadn't been able to come to terms with it.

Right then, he was in the open ground behind the base where they buried their warriors, and ever since that attack, he had started coming to that place very often. Because both the people he held dear were buried there.

It was very early in the morning and the sky had just started to lighten but he had been there the whole night, unable to get a wink of sleep. 

His long black hair that he usually kept tied in a bun were coming loose, spread out on his back and his shoulders were hunched as sorrow and desperation weighed him down. His brown eyes were welling up with tears but each time a tear streaked down his cheek, he would roughly brush it away.

A hand rested on his shoulder, shaking him out of his depressing thoughts and he winced. Pain stabbed through him as the cuts hadn't fully healed yet and even that slight touch hurt. But as he looked up to see who had approached him, he was surprised to be met with Sayuri's concerned features.

He hadn't remembered that she was coming back but seeing her there, he tried to stand up, knowing he should not appear weak in front of her. But his feet refused to follow his will and he stayed rooted to his spot.

She knelt down beside him, bowing her head to the graves because she too respected both Sota and Kaiko a lot. Her eyes were also full of sadness and it reminded Ryuu of the night she had been brought to the base after her mother had been killed and she had witnessed it all helplessly.

If someone could understand the pain he was going through right then, it was her because she had been through a very similar situation herself years ago.

She let go of his shoulder seeing that he was hurt and the cuts on his arm were very much visible to her, the red lines of dried blood tainting the fabric of his shirt. 

Daylight had started to spread washing over them as the sun came over the horizon, indicating the onset of the day. She could see he had been there for a long time and perhaps his limbs had gotten numb from staying in the same position.

So when she stood up and his eyes followed her, she held her hand out towards him, refraining to take his arm by herself because she didn't want to unknowingly hurt him. He paused but then placed his hand in hers, letting her pull him up to his feet.

As he stood up, he saw Tanjiro and Miyu standing at a distance as well so he retrieved his hand from Sayuri. He didn't say anything as he followed them back to the base but his steps were heavy and so was his heart.

Sayuri could sense that sorrow and desperation radiate from him and she badly wanted to do something to help him. 

The rest of the people were gathered in the courtyard, awaiting any orders their leader would have for them. As the chief had been killed, it was clear that Sayuri would have to take her true place as the clan's leader. There could be no delaying her responsibilities further.

She paused, thinking of what to say to them all who wanted to hear what she had decided. Right then her mind was blanking out too and she needed some time to think for herself.

"Please meet me here by evening," she told them, "we will sort things out together then."

Ichiro bowed his head as if accepting the order and so did the rest of the people as they started to disperse. Tanjiro and Miyu left as well to go to their families and check on them but before Ryuu could leave too, Sayuri's hand closed onto his wrist.

He paused, looking at her hand that was holding his wrist and then back into her eyes. 

"You are coming with me," she told him, leading him to the room where he prepared medicines.

She closed the door as well as the windows after Ryuu was in there with her, much to his surprise. Then she fetched out the silvery ointment that he had kept on the shelf along with the other herbs and ingredients.

There wasn't enough of it to treat all his wounds so she looked in her bag and brought out the round jar he had given her earlier.

Ryuu kept silent, not knowing what she would do next. She made him sit down and he didn't object to anything because it seemed as if he was physically there but mentally, he was still kneeling in front of his parents' grave.

It hurt her to see him like that and she wanted to comfort him. But she didn't know what to say or do to make him feel better. The barrier she felt come up between them each time they were close was stronger than ever, despite the fact that she wanted to break down all those barriers and be able to reach out to him.

"Ryuu," she called out and his eyes focused on her. 

She felt as if there was so much she wanted to say to him but all her words had somehow dried up in her throat. He was looking at her, waiting for her to speak but silence engulfed them again.

And when she mustered up her will to speak, she said the only thing she could without risking a breakdown, "let me heal your wounds. Please..."

To him, those wounds were nothing compared to the gashes left in his heart. But he saw how worried she was and it hurt him to see her like that.

So he nodded, removing his belt that held the robe in place. Slowly, he took off the thick fabric and removed his shirt, the slashes on his body becoming visible.

She was alarmed to see how badly he was hurt and it was clear that someone had tried to patch him up before too or else the wounds would have gotten infected. But the cuts were still deep and very much in need of looking after.

"Sit still," she told him, gathering his long back hair that she pulled up into a bun, taking out a ribbon from her bag to tie it.  

With his hair out of the way, she got to work, carefully sealing those cuts with the ointment and stitching the wounds where needed. And while she patched him up, she was thinking about what she should do next as that evening she would have to make her first decision as a leader.

Sota was dead and there was no one else who could lead them. In that situation, she held quite a heavy burden over her shoulders but she had vowed to keep her people safe. So whatever decision she would take, she would put her people at the foremost priority.

***